Dearest Brother
by Sophia Hawkins
Summary: COMPLETED. With the events from the submarine base left in the past, even in death Kronos still continues to haunt Methos, but nothing is really as it seems.
1. Chapter 1

Dearest Brother

He couldn't sleep.

It was as easy as that, he just couldn't sleep, _again_.

By now it was nothing new for him, he'd spent many nights unable to sleep, _and how many more with one eye open, fearing for his life?_

There were the pills, he could take the pills and he would sleep, but it was never enough. He'd tried it before countless times, and they never worked long enough, _at least not long enough for his comfort_.

All the same he couldn't take the pills, if he did then he would dream, and he'd had too many nightmares lately to not be able to afford assurance that he could wake up from them.

Sometimes Methos wished that he could just die of old age, and pass away in his sleep, calmly, peacefully, quietly – painlessly. Oh if there were such a way for him to die he would embrace it with such gratitude. To anyone else, 5,000 years of life might seem like a gift or some sort of prophecy, to him it was a nightmare, a living hell. Even now with the battle and his brothers long dead, he couldn't get over it. Neither could MacLeod. Oh he could be so convincing, back at the submarine base when he made Cassandra spare his life…those words still haunted him, cutting through his thoughts every single day like a freshly sharpened blade.

_Cassandra! I want him to live!_

Yes, he'd said that…he'd wanted him to live, but that was then, and this was now. How could he know that the Highlander wouldn't change his mind? How was he to be certain that Duncan MacLeod didn't lay awake at night just plotting the perfect way to sever his head from his body? He didn't know, and he couldn't know, true 400 is nothing compared to 5,000 but even so, in 400 years you could learn to be a great actor, the best, you could convince anyone of anything, even convince someone you wanted to keep them alive.

5,000 years of watching people could make you a good judge of character, but also within that time, you began to forget many things, you're not as sharp as you used to be. What was there to be said of a man who couldn't even remember his first death? Did that go along with getting older, or just gradually losing your mind?

To lose his mind, to forget everything, that would be simultaneously a blessing and a curse. To forget his time as Death on a Horse, among countless other fiends, that would ease his newfound conscience oh so much. But to forget Alexa, he couldn't live with that. He couldn't live with forgetting her, or anyone else he'd cared about in his life. Maybe once he was dead, he'd be reunited with her, oh he could only hope.

He'd gotten so sick of his life, and so sick of his past coming back repeatedly to haunt him, he was tempted to take his sword over to MacLeod, hand it to him and say "do it now, MacLeod, it'll save me the pain of living". He could see himself putting himself in that position, and he could just imagine the look on MacLeod's face if he did that. MacLeod would enjoy it, he wouldn't just do it and get it over with, he'd taunt him. "So you really are a coward. For thousands of years, you did whatever it took to survive, no matter at what cost, and now you want simply for me to take your head and get it over with. I always knew you were a coward, but this brings you to an all new low."

Methos felt sick, he was starting to wish MacLeod had killed _him_ at the base along with Kronos. At least if that had happened, he wouldn't be going through this living hell now. Then again, would that mean he'd be stuck with Kronos for all eternity?

Even dead I couldn't survive that, he thought.

Now he was really feeling sick, if that did happen, what would Kronos do to him? Would he be alone or would Silas and Caspian be with him? At least in life he stood some chance of protection with Silas, but now he'd probably be as anxious to make him suffer as Caspian and Kronos would. He'd turned against him, his own brother, not just any of them either, the only one he liked. The only one he truly saw fit as deserving the title 'Brother'. But it wasn't that simple, no, there had been a time when Silas wasn't the only reliable one, but that was a time in history that was so far back it'd been buried thousands of years ago.

All of a sudden, Methos felt like he was burning up, he had to get out, he couldn't stand staying here anymore. He especially couldn't stand being near MacLeod, just the mention of his name made Methos' stomach turn. Blessed be he who's never had to live like I have, he thought. That's why he would never understand Methos' side of it, because he hadn't been alive during that time, and he hadn't known what it was like when it was a choice between kill with your brothers or be killed by them.

Methos wasn't aware that he'd been making any noise, but he must've because the next thing he heard was Duncan as he stumbled into the room in the dark. "Methos?" he called out quietly.

So this is it, Methos thought, this is when it comes down to him being holier, mightier and braver than I. Just what I need at 2 o' clock in the morning.

"Methos?" he repeated, a bit louder this time.

The very mention of his name from those lips made Methos' skin crawl and his stomach turn. Methos threw off the covers and jumped over the couch and made a dash straight to the bathroom, with a concerned Highlander following right behind him.

Duncan found Methos leaning over the sink with his head as low in the sink as he could probably get it, breathing heavily andwaiting for something to happen.

"Are you allright, Methos?" he asked, truly concerned for the ancient Immortal.

Methos waited for his dinner to come up, but after a few minutes and it didn't, he took it as a sign as it was safe to get out of this position. He turned off the faucet he'd left running just in case, and sat down on the edge of the bathtub, feeling once again in his life his actual age. He not only felt it, but he was startomg tolook the part too. Not 5,000 years of course, but old enough to look a wreck, and Duncan could very easily see this. After the bodies of the three other Horsemen had been buried, Duncan and Methos had gone their separate ways for a few months. Duncan thought, and he was sure Methos had felt the same way, that they needed some room apart from one another to get things straightened out. Maybe, he thought, Methos had been right, maybe he couldn't forgive what Methos had done, and maybe he couldn't accept it, but since he'd seen that Methos truly wasn't the beast he was in the Bronze Age, he was trying, oh how he was trying to understand it, to accept it, to do something.

Then earlier tonight, Methos had come to the dojo a complete mess. He had been drunk, caught in the rain, and recovering from God knew what he'd endured over the past few months. Duncan had hoped that once he'd rested and got something to eat, he'd return to normal, it had helped some, but all through the night he could tell something was troubling Methos, but what, he didn't know and he wasn't going to push to find out, if he did, Methos might tire of his company and disappear again. When it got late into the evening, Duncan knew that Methos was in no condition to go anywhere so he got some bedding and fixed up the couch for him for the night. Once he'd actually gone to sleep, Duncan didn't think he'd be getting up until morning, but clearly he was wrong.

Now Duncan saw Methos a shade paler than usual, with dark rings around his eyes, his eyes looked like they'd been deprived of sleep for too long, he was breathing shallowly and slightly rocking back and forth on the edge of the tub with his arms folded and as tight against his chest as he could manage. Duncan took the chance of approaching him knowing full well that Methos could be extremely short tempered and very dangerous when he was hurt, but he stayed where he was not even seeming to acknowledge Duncan closing in on him.

"Methos, are you allright?" and Duncan's hands instantly found their way to his face, which felt like ice, and he drew back in shock, "Good God, you feel like you've been in a freezer!"

But Methos didn't pay attention to what Duncan had said, he didn't pay much attention to the Highlander at all. Duncan felt Methos' hands, and up his arms, all equally cold. Duncan didn't know what to make of this, Immortals didn't get hypothermia, especially not in relatively fair weather like this. Could they go into shock? Yes, he supposed they could, but what could drive Methos to it? He didn't know what was wrong with Methos, and he also knew if Methos did, he wouldn't be able to get the answer out of him. So he decided the only thing he could do to help the older Immortal would be to try and restore heat to his body.

"Come on, Methos, let's get you back to bed and warm you up," Duncan insisted, lightly tugging on Methos' hand.

Methos drew his hand back, "Don't touch me, MacLeod, don't you bloody touch me! I'm not going back there, I'm not leaving this room!"

Duncan was a bit shocked by Methos' reaction, but remained the stubborn Scot he was, and tried to come up with an alternative plan. Thinking quickly, Duncan got another idea, and he didn't know that Methos would be able to protest it.

"Allright, fine, wait here," Duncan turned around and left the bathroom, and quickly returned a few moments later with a pillow, a flannel sheet and a light quilt.

"What're you doing, MacLeod?" Methos asked.

Duncan had laid out the sheet on the floor and was fluffing up the pillow to put up at the top. "If you want to stay here all night that's just fine with me," he told him, "but the bare floor can be uncomfortably cold and you're not going to freeze through the night, I can assure you of that right now. Now come on and get over here."

"No," Methos looked the other way.

"Methos," Duncan said in a stern voice.

"No."

"So you're not coming?" Duncan asked.

"No."

This was getting very tired very quickly, and Duncan was tired as well, and he guessed that Methos must be too. It was the middle of the night, and neither one of them would be getting any rest like this, Duncan knew that. He also knew it was too late in the night and they were too exhausted to argue, so he decided to go about this another way.

"Allright, have it your way." Duncan got up and headed over to the tub and took Methos by surprise and picked him up and swung him around a bit as they headed over to the bed Duncan had made up for him.

"MacLeod! Put me down! Put me down, I can walk on my own!" Methos insisted as he tried to get loose.

"Oh, but I'm having so much fun with you like this," Duncan replied lightheartedly.

"This isn't funny, MacLeod, put me down!"

"As you wish," Duncan lowered Methos and almost dropped him settling him down on the sheet as he pulled the quilt up to Methos' neck. "Now, you stay put, try to get some sleep, and we'll see how you're doing in the morning, allright?"

Methos wanted nothing more than the spit in his face, but wouldn't you know in 5,000 years, the first thing to go was your ability to spit. The Highlander's jokes at his expense hurt him more than just about anything he'd endured in the last 200 years.

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight?" Duncan asked.

Another bad joke, Methos thought."Just behead me now, MacLeod, it'll hurt a lot less."

"Oh don't go making a hasty decision like that," Duncan said, still not taking him seriously, "now you go to bed and I'll see you in the morning."

Methos grunted and turned on his side and squeezed his eyes closed, he didn't want to face MacLeod again for the rest of the night. Or even the rest of his life maybe. He felt MacLeod readjust the quilt around his shoulders and heard the younger man bid him goodnight and he left. And now here he was alone, not even with the benefit of darkness, light made him feel like he was being watched, at least in the dark he had the secure feeling that he was alone. That was just like the Highlander, always making everything miserable for him…it didn't matter, Methos was too tired to really care, he just repositioned himself in the covers and hoped he'd fall asleep soon.

* * *

He couldn't remember when he woke up, he couldn't even remember how he got here, but by some way or another, he must've, that's all there was to it. Methos didn't even know where he was, let alone how he got here. Wherever he was, it was dark and cold and there was an undying fog that kept rolling in, making it impossible to see much of anything aside from the dark blue surroundings. He felt the presence of another Immortal, and it was coming at him and stopped before Methos could even get his sword out. Methos felt the Immortal standing right behind him, now armed he decided to bite the bullet and face the enemy.

Methos turned around and his sword fell to the floor and his heart could've stopped right there. Through the fog he saw someone, a man he'd assured himself countless times that he would never have to see again. Kronos was alive and well, and looking the same as the day when he came back for Methos and welcomed him back with a knife in his chest.

"Greetings, Brother," those words hit Methos like ice.

"You?" Methos had more to say than that, but he couldn't bring himself to say it.

Kronos laughed, "you were expecting maybe Sean Connery?"

"It can't be you, you're dead!" Methos heard himself blurt out as he backed up.

Methos felt his throat close up and his chest tighten and excruciating pain shooting through every part of his body and finally the pain and the panic became too much for him and he passed out and fell to the floor.

"I missed you too," Kronos replied to his unconscious brother.


	2. Chapter 2

Methos was only half asleep but fully aware that he was somewhere he probably shouldn't be. He had no idea where he was or how he'd gotten there, all he knew was that wherever it was, it included a bed. A bed, but who had put him there? Then Methos fully awoke and thrashed around in the bed trying to get up, but found he couldn't without getting caught in a tangle of sheets and covers. It was still dark wherever he was, that much hadn't changed, only the surroundings.

"Sleep well?"

Methos heard the voice and all but jumped. Kronos was standing in the doorway to the room. Methos' heart was racing and his mind was going in six places at once, he looked around and tried to find his sword.

"Relax, Brother, weapons are of no use to us here," he said.

To anyone else it might be assuring to hear that, but Methos could never trust Kronos or his word.

"Why?" Methos asked.

"Well if you think anyone dead wants your head, even being 5,000 years old, you are going crazy," Kronos replied as he approached the bed.

"So you are – am I dead too?" Methos felt a pins and needles sensation in his back and neck and his chest tighten again.

"No, you are only here on a visit," Kronos told him.

"A visit, what for?" Methos asked, still not convinced.

"Because I thought seeing as how you're the only one of us still alive, you could use a little closure."

"Closure?" Methos repeated.

"Of course…you're still beating yourself up over the past, aren't you?" Kronos wasn't really asking, it sounded more like he already knew.

"How --- how do you know?" Methos asked as he found himself suddenly feeling sick.

Kronos grinned, "My dear Brother, when you're dead…and especially in this place, you see many things going on with the living."

"This place," Methos repeated, not quite sure what to think of that, "what is this place? I…is it a heaven, or a hell?"

"Not quite either," Kronos responded as he seated himself beside Methos on the bed, "we're more in between."

"Why?" Methos asked.

"Because Immortals can't pass on to one or the other until the end…so now we're all stuck here, waiting for something to happen," Kronos explained.

"What do you mean? Wait for what?" Methos asked. He found it amazing that in spite of the fear of his brother in arms and blood that very well paralyzed him, he was anxious to know more about their current surroundings.

"Until there is only one Immortal remaining. He won't die, and only then can we move on to our final destinations…be it up in the clouds or," he chuckled, "more likely for us, down below in a fiery pit."

"So this is a…limbo of some sort, right?" Methos asked, still watching Kronos' every move to make sure he wasn't going toattack him.

"Yes, I suppose you could say that," Kronos replied.

"Allright, I'll buy that, but where are we specifically?"

"What?"

"This room, what is this area we're in right now?" Methos asked.

"We're all assigned a place here…and this is mine."

Methos looked around, "well it's not much but I suppose it's home."

"More or less," Kronos replied. He turned to look at Methos and found his brother staring at him in a most unusual way. "What are you doing?"

"I'm just wondering," Methos answered, "why you're not trying to kill me. I'd imagined even in death you'd like to take a swing at me…or rather my head."

Kronos laughed, "not anymore, I'm afraid in death you'll find you change more than in life."

"Why?" Methos asked.

"Because when you're dead you don't have anyone else to fight. However there are plenty of ways to keep one's self occupied until the Game is over. Should…shall I tell you just what I've gone through since I got here?" Kronos asked.

Methos was slowly gripping the reality and hanging on to the fact that Kronos truly wasn't going to try to kill him…probably wasn't even going to hurt him.

"Yes, you do that," Methos decided it was his turn to be the bitter one for a change, "do tell me, just why are you being so nice now? Is hell freezing over?"

Kronos laughed, "no, Methos, I assure you no such thing…since I got here, I've gotten my head as straightened out as could be. You wouldn't believe the number of Immortals who are…or were, psychiatrists and psychologists and sociologists…they have every type of head doctor in this place, and I've been having my mind poked, prodded and probed by every single one of them."

"Is that a fact?" Methos was still having his doubts as to whether this thing that he once called 'brother' could be trusted.

"Yes, one in particular, the most stubborn son of a bitch here, a fellow by the name of Sean Burns, claims he was a friend of that blasted Highlander, Duncan MacLeod…" he looked Methos dead in the eyes, "did you know him?"

Methos instantly shook his head, he hadn't really known Sean personally, rather he knew him through MacLeod. "So now they've…what? Straightened you out, would you say?" Methos asked.

"Basically, they finished with me over a month ago," Kronos said, "they're working on Silas now."

"Silas?" Methos never recalled a point in his life where Silas seemed…what was the word, crazy? No, Silas was many things, but not crazy. Unstable? No, that fit Kronos and Caspian like a glove. Disturbed? Well we're all disturbed, he thought.

"Yes, you see, every Immortal who comes here has to be checked out by them to see if they need any mental help, whether or not in life they were crazy. However…" Kronos trailed off and he was starting to sound upset by something.

"However what?" Methos asked.

"Well…it's taking a bit longer for them to analyze him than it did them me," Kronos explained, "the psychiatrists analyze everyone to decide whether or not they actually need any help. But in Silas' case, by the time he gets through talking to the psychiatrists, _they_ need psychiatrists."

Methos laughed for what truly was the first time in a long time. He couldn't imagine what Silas would have to say that would leave that kind of effect on who used to be some of the most experienced, professional doctors in existence. After all the hell he'd endured the last several months, it felt good to be able to laugh and for a minute forget everything else. He laughed until his back hurt and he couldn't breathe, by that time he couldn't even make any sound as he laughed, then he forced himself to calm down.

"And how…" Methos could barely talk after that, "how did Caspian do with them?"

"What do you mean 'how did he do'?" Kronos asked, "He's the one they've been analyzing the longest, three months and still they haven't made any progress on him!"

Methos laughed again until he couldn't breathe, even though by that time he was sore as hell, it was the best he'd felt in a long time.

"That's better," Kronos said, "for the longest time you've been going around like a corpse…you actually started to look the part as well."

All the while they'd been talking, Methos noticed something different about Kronos, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Finally he decided to go ahead and do something that while Kronos was alive, could've gotten him killed. He grabbed onto Kronos' face and turned it more toward the dim light coming through the window and Methos realized what was different.

"Your scar!" Methos almost shrieked, "but…how?"

The scar that in life had covered half the length of his face including the middle of his eyelid, and had been a constant reminder of a bloody battle thousands of years ago, was now gone without a trace. Kronos pulled Methos' hands off his face and laughed. "Here, anything goes…you should see Caspian, his 6th toe is gone."

Methos laughed lightly at Kronos' comment. But that died down quickly when a question came to mind, one Methos wasn't sure how to ask. "Kronos, about Silas…is he…does he…"

"You want to know if he wants you dead," Kronos wasn't guessing, he knew it.

"Yes."

"No, he doesn't," Kronos assured him, "he still sees you as his brother…he --- he either can't remember, or chose to forget about the last few minutes of his life, and his death altogether."

Methos sighed in relief, it was good to know that. True when it came down to it, they weren't brothers anymore, and hadn't for over a thousand years, but when his time came, it would be nice to know that he wouldn't have to worry about Silas coming after him, even in death. Caspian on the other hand, Methos wouldn't put it past him.

"He's always asking when you'll be joining us," Kronos told him.

Now Methos was worrying again, he knew there had to be a catch to this, Kronos wouldn't be nice to him for no reason, not now especially.

"I tell him at the rate you're going, we could be looking at another thousand years easily," Kronos added, then he laughed, "he said he'll wait."

Methos smiled to himself, that sounded like Silas allright. He was the only man Methos ever knew with enough patience to wait for much of anything like he always did. That's the way it had been when they rode together, Silas was the patient one, Caspian was impatient, Kronos was always prepared for the fight, and Methos was the reluctant one. He told MacLeod he liked it, but anymore he couldn't remember to save his life whether he actually did, or if he just adapted to it since it meant he'd stay alive.

Methos was brought back to reality when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "You look troubled, Brother, is something the matter?"

Methos shook his head. "No…I was just remembering the old times."

"How old exactly?" Kronos asked.

"What?" Methos wasn't sure how to reply to that.

"You mean 'old times' as in when we rode together…or 'old times' like when you put me in that ditch and left me there to rot like a corpse?"

Upon hearing that, you could've knocked Methos in the stomach with a set of brass knuckles and the effect would've been the same. He should've seen that one coming, he knew it, he knew it, he knew that Kronos had something up his sleeve. He'd wanted a fight when Methos locked him up, now he was probably going to get one. Methos looked around the room to see where Kronos had placed his sword. _Weapons are of no use here_, indeed. Apparently one thing Kronos had picked up since his demise was mind reading, he seemed to know exactly what Methos was thinking, and he started laughing.

"Methos, I'm surprised at you," Kronos said in a mock hurt tone, "you really think I'd stoop so low as to try and take your head when I'm dead as a doornail myself?"

"Can you blame me!" Methos spat, angry as hell and bitter as vinegar, he didn't care what Kronos did in response after this. He'd put up with it for most of his life, well no more. "When you were alive I couldn't trust you one way or another. During our last few years riding together, I stayed awake for weeks on end trying to think of the perfect way to kill you, only to come to the conclusion that I couldn't, because if I killed you than I might as well have killed myself, and I wanted to live! I wanted to live, damn it!" Methos knew he was on the verge of losing everything, his sanity at top priority, but he didn't care.

"I didn't want to kill anymore! I wanted to be by myself, and I wanted to learn, I wanted to see to it that I didn't repeat my mistakes before, and that included you…I tried to tell you, but no…you wouldn't listen, you wouldn't have it, it was the four of us always, we couldn't afford to go separate ways, we always had to be together, driving fear into people before we ripped them limb from limb. I was sick of it, sick to the point that I could've vomited nonstop until I died. I was through with the killings, at least as far as our barbaric methods called for. I don't like to fight, and I don't enjoy killing, I do when I have to, but I avoid it whenever possible and I always did before I met you, and I did after I left you.

"You! You turned me into a beast, a blood thirsty monster who didn't care who or what he killed, and I've always hated you for that, Kronos!" Methos plunged forth and found himself with his hands trying so desperately to wring Kronos' neck even though he knew it wouldn't work. "I hated what I was, and I hated you for it! I hated you then and I always have, I still do! I've always hated you, but I couldn't kill you!" Methos was crying by this time, the pain and the anger all mixed together into a deadly emotional cocktail, but he was too numb to consciously feel any of it.

He gave up when he saw he could choke Kronos all he wanted, but it wasn't going to hurt him, in fact he seemed to be enjoying it, the bastard was laughing at it, at him. Methos let go of his neck and backed up to the head of the bed. He wanted to just curl up and die, he settled for just curling up into as small a ball as he could and keeping as much a distance from Kronos as he could as he continued his gut-wrenching sobbing. In between his cries, he managed to get out a loud, coherent, "I hate you! I hate you! I always have and I still do, even dead and buried I hate you!" He knew it didn't matter if Kronos was dead or not, that would have to be enough to set him off, but he didn't care. "Go ahead!" he cried, "Do whatever you will! Torture me again, kill me if you will, just do it and get it over with!"

Methos buried his face in his hands as he continued to cry his heart out, in grief of all the people he killed and saw killed at the hands of his brothers, in pain over the agonizing fear he put up with every day for over a thousand years, waiting for Kronos to return, in remembrance of a legacy in brotherhood lost through time and battle and defeat.

Methos became vaguely aware of a hand stroking the back of his head and moving down his back. Any other time the very idea of Kronos…offering comfort of any sort to him would've made his skin crawl. But now he didn't care, he didn't care what happened to him, he didn't care about anything anymore. Kronos managed to get him out of his fetal ball and held him close and stroked his back as he listened to Methos cry and carry on.

"Listen to me, Methos," he said, "you have to believe me, I'm not going to hurt you, I have no intention of it, and I never will…never again."

Methos supposed if he could say anything more he would've, he could at least have tried to explain to Kronos what was going on with him, but he couldn't. Apparently, he didn't need to, as he continued to sob and grief, Kronos never let him go.

"I know," Kronos said, "I know…my dearest Brother, that's why I brought you here."

Methos turned rigid at the mention of that and he forced himself away from Kronos so he could look him dead in the eyes. "What?"

"As I said before, I know you've been beating yourself up over it, over what we were, what you used to be. You've changed, the world has changed, the times have changed, but you still won't let go of the past, even with me dead."

Methos closed his eyes and shook his head. "It's never easy letting go of the past."

"I wouldn't imagine…especially one as long as yours," Kronos added, "that doesn't change the fact that we're dead, the only people to tie you to your past, we can't do anything from here, so you're free to move on, but why don't you?"

"I don't know," Methos replied in a weak and tired voice, "I don't know…I just can't."

"You mean," Kronos implied, "somebody won't let you."

Methos didn't look at Kronos, he didn't want to face him when he answered, "Cassandra."

"And MacLeod," Kronos added. That got Methos' attention and he looked up and back across the bed to face Kronos.

"He's not letting you forget either, is he?" Kronos asked, though it seemed he already knew the answer.

Methos sighed, "not really. He said…he said that he's willing to believe I'm not like that anymore, but I don't believe him and I can't believe him. He's never going to let me forget it, maybe he won't taunt me over the fact every day for the rest of my life, but every so often he'll bring it up."

"And he might as well be stabbing you in the heart," Kronos added.

Methos let out a pitiful, humorless laugh, "I suppose so."

There was no telling if Kronos was trying to lighten the mood or if he was serious by what he said next. "If you want, tomorrow night I could bring _him_ here and scare the hell out of him," when Methos didn't respond, he added, "I'd certainly have some fun messing with his head, then come morning he'll be so out of it, you'll have to scrape him off the ceiling with a spatula."

Methos laughed at his suggestion although by now he was too sore to actually enjoy it. He buried his face in his hands and he laughed until he was crying again, and while he wouldn't consciously admit why, he knew this time it was to mourn the loss of a brother. Not from when he'd put Kronos in the pit, long before that, he was crying to mourn now because he couldn't then, when he lost the Kronos he truly knew as Brother.

Once again, Methos didn't protest when Kronos held him again and tried to comfort him. He couldn't, this was his own private heaven and hell and he intended to revel in it for now. This had been what he'd wanted, for thousands of years, this was what at many a time he thought he was living for, to see the day that Kronos was actually himself again before the beast took over. Again, Kronos seemed to know what Methos was thinking. "Do you ever think about those days?" Kronos asked him.

Methos tried as tired and weak as he was to give him a coherent answer. "I used to…but I stopped long ago because it hurt too much, knowing things could never be the same. Not like in the beginning…"

For the first time in hundreds of years, Methos forced himself to remember the fateful day when he and Kronos met.


	3. Chapter 3

Methos had been a slave, a prisoner, and everything in between that belonged in that area of expertise more times than he cared to remember. He'd made himself forget some of the more horrible times for fear that he would lose his mind if he didn't. And he swore to God a thousand times if he ever got out of here, this would be the very next experience to forget. He had no recollection of just how he'd gotten here, he just remembered being driven out of the last village after everyone had seen him die and return to life. The devil himself, they'd called him, so they saw fit to try and send him back to hell where he'd belonged, but he wasn't fond of the idea of being burnt alive, so he left.

Then he wound up here, but where was here? He couldn't answer that, all he knew was that he'd been found and taken in as a slave, and he'd been worked to death several times, but the 'master' had never seen it happen. Not until Methos refused to do anymore work, and the guy beat him to death, then once he saw that Methos couldn't die, he kept him chained up. It was only after the fact that Methos asked himself repeatedly why he didn't kill the bastard when he had the chance. Now he was unarmed and defenseless, chained up all day and night, while the master brought in people to see him, and do to him whatever they wished. Maybe it was fortunate for him that he was never unchained during that time, it limited some of what the customers could actually do.

Keeping track of how long he'd been there was impossible; all he knew was that it had been too long, until the day came when he felt another one like him entering the grounds.

Oh great, he thought, so this has been how I spent my remaining days, chained up like a dog and having every strange hand in the area touching and poking at me…now I'm going to die an unfair fight, great, just perfect.

Methos became aware that it was in fact two Immortals approaching, not just one. He looked up and down the path a ways and saw them coming. He didn't like the looks of either of them, and he was certain that either one of them would be only too happy to take his head, there would be no challenge whatsoever. Well, things could be worse, Methos took into consideration. He'd almost forgotten about the other two, there were two other Immortals who liked to come by from time to time and torture him as much as the master would allow, which was pretty damn much. Out of all the people who got their kicks by touching and poking him, they got the biggest share of them all. Then an entertaining thought came to mind, maybe those two would show up and these two here would fight them. Now that would be a nice change of pace.

He heard the master talking to them, he couldn't understand what any of them were saying, but he knew the master's description of him so well he had it memorized, that was another thing he wanted to forget. He didn't even have to look and he knew they were approaching, well he didn't care, he hung his head low and made himself appear as weak and fable as he could manage. Maybe with some luck they wouldn't be interested in a broken body and they'd move on, he didn't care anyway, he felt about as weak as he made himself look. It had been too long ago to remember the last time he'd had eaten at all, let alone had a decent meal…he hadn't slept well since he was chained up. After all, you try sleeping sitting up out in the freezing cold for a few nights and you start to develop poor sleeping patterns too.

It took every shred of self-control in him not to look up at the Immortals when they reached him. He didn't have to, the bigger one lowered himself to see him, and he didn't look pleased at what he saw, however, Methos could see that there was something to his own appearance that sparked some interest with the man. Then once he got back up, the smaller man with a long scar on his face knelt down to see him face to face. Methos tried to look down, away, he tried not to look anywhere at anything, but he met the inevitable eye contact with the scarred man. The man raised himself back to his feet and spoke to the master in a language he was unfamiliar with, but Methos could just guess what he was talking about.

_He doesn't look right…he's too pale, especially for being outside at all times ---he's too thin, doesn't he eat anything? There's something seriously wrong with him, and yet you claim that he's returned from the dead healthy?_

And the master would tell them, _many times. I assure you, you can do whatever you wish with him, I've seen it myself, he takes it and still comes back to life._

_You can't be serious, it simply cannot be done,_ the scarred man was most likely saying.

Oh but Methos knew it could be done, and he knew also that these two men, whoever they were, were not new into their Immortality and they always knew that it could and had been done. He didn't know exactly what they were saying, but they must've come to an agreement with the master because he was leaving them alone with him.

Great, just great, Methos thought, a fine way for life to end, alone and tied up like a dog.

Methos looked up for the first time since their arrival and noticed that the two Immortals were certainly no novice to their Immortality. The bigger man was carrying a large axe with him, while the scarred man had a sword with him.

A pitiful end to a pitiful life, Methos thought.

He hung his head low in defeat and closed his eyes, waiting to feel either blade cut into his neck. They didn't, instead he heard the chains rattle as they fell to the ground, looking up he saw they'd cut the chains instead, and he didn't know what to think. The large man knelt down and helped Methos to his feet, but he was so weak he fell right back down. He looked up at the two men and said to them, "if you're going to kill me, this would probably be your best chance."

The two men glared at each other and laughed, Methos couldn't find any humor in it. The scarred man knelt down and picked him up and maintained a strong hold on him under the armpits. "We're not going to kill you."

Methos was too weak to do anything except talk, and even that was enough to hang him, but he couldn't fight, he knew that, and even death had to be better than this. "You might as well, I can't fight you, I have no weapon, it's been years since I've even been able to fight, half my body's numb from the cold, and I've been starved to death repeatedly, I'm no good to fight."

Methos felt like he was going to drop again even with the scarred man holding him up, he started to droop but the man picked him up again and held him tighter.

"So you can't fight," he said. It wasn't a question, he knew, hell, anyone could tell that just by looking at Methos.

All the same, Methos nodded to confirm what he'd said, he wasn't expecting what came next.

"Then _we_ won't fight," the scarred man told him.

Methos was relieved because he knew it also meant they weren't going to kill him, however that left room open for other possibilities. And suddenly, Methos found himself tripping over his own words as he tried to get them out right. "I—I can't fight them either…you have to believe me, I'd never be a fair fight to them – they've been after me too long, they know it!"

The bigger man didn't seem to understand him. "What do you mean 'they'? There was just the one man when we came here."

Methos wasn't sure how to explain, but apparently he didn't need to.

"Not him, Silas," the scarred man replied, then he looked back at Methos, "you mean men like us, don't you?"

He knew, oh God he knew, but how? Methos just nodded.

"How many?" he asked.

"Two…I think," Methos said.

"You think?"

"They always mentioned bringing others," Methos explained.

"Bringing them from where?" Silas asked.

Methos turned to him, "I don't know. I don't know who they are, or where they come from…" he suddenly grew bitter at what came next, "all I know is that they come here to torture me…they enjoy it, and _he_," Methos knew they understood he meant the master, "let's them, he'll let them do whatever they want to me if they pay enough…" a horrifying realization came over Methos, "as I guess he told you."

"He did," the scarred man replied.

Now Methos felt sick, these men had no doubt come to him for similar reasons. There was no other explanation, there never was.

The man called Silas grabbed Methos and pulled him away from the other man, and Methos knew it would do him no good to resist. "Kronos, what now?"

Methos was used to just about everything that his tormentors had done to him before, he thought that nothing this man could say would shock him, but it did.

"Get him out of here," Kronos told him, "we passed by a well on the way in here. Take him to it and make sure he drinks, by the looks of it I'd guess it's been a good long while since he's had anything."

Looking down at himself, Methos supposed that could easily be seen by anyone. His skin was scaly from dehydration, which made his ribs that stuck out from lack of food look even more painful, his legs were the worst he'd seen yet, his bones were practically sticking out of them as well. Just the look of himself seemed so painful, it was hard to imagine that it looked worse than he could actually feel, as painful as it was. So Methos decided to go with him, but that left one question in mind. "What about you?"

Kronos smiled, "I'll take care of _him_ when he comes back, unless you'd rather have the honor of killing him?"

Methos shook his head and went with Silas, he'd been here too long, all he wanted to do was get out, he didn't care who killed the master.

* * *

They found the well and Methos drank until he was sure he'd be sick, and once the retching passed, he drank again until he thought his stomach would burst.

"How long has he kept you out there?" Silas asked.

Methos couldn't remember, he'd tried to forget the whole thing from day one, but to no avail, he couldn't forget what had happened, just when it did. He shook his head, "too long."

"Now you'll come with us," Silas told him.

Methos looked at him, he hadn't considered what they would do with him now that they cut him loose. "For what?"

Silas laughed, and Methos wasn't sure he liked where this was going. Silas told him, "you'll ride with us, Kronos is looking for…"

He stopped when they heard something, looking back and down the hill they saw that the master had come around to the property, and he hadn't found Methos missing yet. They were too far and too high up for him to find them where they were standing, and Kronos was hiding nearby where the master couldn't see him, but he was calling to him, in a rather high-pitched voice as opposed to his own, calling for help.

"What's he doing?" Methos asked Silas, keeping his voice low so not to get caught.

Silas laughed, "it's a trick he does."

From where they stood, they could see Kronos restraining himself from laughing too much or too loud, and for a minute they thought he was going to fall over. The man heard him and was heading in that direction to see what was the matter. Methos couldn't believe what he was seeing, but Silas on the other hand had clearly gotten used to how it worked, he grabbed Methos by the wrist and they headed back down there to see what Kronos would do with him.

Methos didn't exactly remember what had happened, all he knew was that by the time they got there, Kronos had attacked the man, struck him a couple of times and was about to do him in when they came up. That changed his mind, and he approached Methos and stuck his sword in Methos' hand and told him to do it, to make the bastard pay for everything he'd put him through. Methos didn't want to do it, he thought he couldn't, but somehow or other, he closed his eyes and when he opened them again, he'd run the sword through the man, miraculously without the man making a sound, but Methos didn't want to hear him when the sword would be pulled out. He let go of the sword and turned back around and left, or rather he got as far as he could before his legs gave out beneath him and he fell again.

He heard the others following, but didn't make any attempt to get up to join them, he knew he'd just fall again. After a few seconds he felt them grabbing him by the arms and pulling him to his feet again, but he refused to look back at the master.

"What's wrong?" Kronos asked, not sure what to make of this. Here was a man who'd been tortured longer than he could remember, he finally gets revenge on the bastard who did it to him, and he didn't even want to revel in his victory. "It's allright, you can look, he's stone dead."

But Methos wouldn't, he turned away and closed his eyes, he didn't want to see him. He didn't want to see this place ever again, he just wanted to get as far away from it as he possibly could, but it was then that an idea came to mind, he couldn't leave just yet. Methos tried to break loose from their hold and run off, but they kept a tight hold on him.

"Now what's the matter?" Kronos asked, sounding as if he was almost laughing by it all.

Methos couldn't find the right way to say what he had to, so he just let the words fall out hoping they could piece it together. "I have to get her! We can't leave her here or she'll die, and she deserves to live, damn it!"

"What are you saying?" Kronos asked.

Methos tried again, only this time slower. "He has a daughter, she's tied up somewhere around here too, I can't leave with her still here!"

"Allright, calm down!" Kronos told him, "how will we know her when we find her?"

"She's still a child, she's been tied up for a while herself, it's a wonder if she's still alive," Methos told him.

They searched the property and found her in his tent, tied to the bed, and Methos was right, she was a child. She couldn't have been more than 7 or 8, and she looked like she'd been through pure hell. She was absolutely filthy, her skin a dark gray from the dirt, with bits of sand and gravel sticking in her skin, her dress was a mere matter of rags, held together by God knew what, and there were bruises, one around her eye, another on her neck resembling fingers that had wrapped around it. The sight made Methos sick and he had to lean on Kronos to stay standing, they heard Silas mutter a damnation on the man Methos killed. Silas cut her loose, and she threw herself into his arms, saying nothing but they could all guess what she was thinking, that these strange men, whoever they were, could protect her from her father. Silas held her and he suggested to Kronos and Methos they take her away from there when they left. Kronos agreed but only to a point, they'd travel and find a village that would take her in, and then they would just keep on riding until they got back to their camp. This was all new to Methos, they hadn't had time to explain everything to him yet, and he hoped he'd learn it all within time.

* * *

While Silas and Kronos raided the area to see what was worth taking, Methos took the girl back to the well to clean her up, he told her that her father had been killed and wouldn't be able to hurt her anymore.

"Now we'll go somewhere new and find you someone who would just love a little girl like you," Methos knew the odds of someone taking her in were very likely, but still he felt the need to assure them both. After the treatment he got, he could just imagine what her father had done to her, and he didn't like the idea of putting her with a family that would continue the horror.

"Did you kill him?" she asked.

"What?"

"Did you kill my father?" the girl asked.

Methos sighed, and nodded. "Yes, I hadn't planned to, but…I suppose it's best that he's dead…Mary…"

"Yes?"

"Promise me that you'll never come back here, nothing good can come from this place," he told her.

"I know," she replied, "…we know, don't we?"

Methos nodded, "I have no intention of coming back myself…"

"Mister," Mary said.

"Yes?"

"When you take me to a new family…will I ever see you again?" she asked.

Methos looked her in the eyes for that one. "I don't rightfully know, we might meet again, sometime, somewhere…but first thing's first and first thing is finding a home for you."

Methos had gotten her as cleaned up as possible so he slipped her back into her dress and he laid down beside the well. "Can you walk?"

"Yes," she replied.

"Good, do me a favor and go find Silas and Kronos, I'm going to stay here because I'm too tired to move," he told her.

After she'd gone, he laid out on his back and stretched out. Damn but it felt good to be free from those chains again, good to be able to lie down and stretch, to get up and go where he pleased, to get water and food back in him again. This was heaven for him. He must've fallen asleep because the next thing he knew was he opened his eyes and saw Silas standing over him.

"What happened?" Methos asked.

"The girl said you wanted to see us," he answered.

"Oh," Methos moaned as he tried to get up, but only succeeded in rolling over onto his stomach.

Silas picked him up and Methos saw Mary coming up to them. "I got them like you asked," she told Methos.

"Where's Kronos?" Methos asked.

Methos felt another Immortal presence closing in on them and he saw Kronos running up to them.

"He's coming, he just can't run as fast as a 7-year-old," Kronos answered, sounding out of breath, "what is it?"

Before Methos could reply, he, and he knew Kronos and Silas also had to know that another Immortal was coming, and he knew it was pointless to hope that it was somebody else. Seeing as the well was close to the entrance, Methos knew just where to look and he saw approaching the two Immortals who were regular customers of the master.

"Is that the two you were talking about?" Kronos asked.

Methos nodded, and he thought for sure this was the end for him.

"What is it?" Mary asked.

That brought Methos back to reality, Kronos grabbed her by the arms and handed her over to Methos and told him, "get the two of you out of here…head back to the tent and wait for us, we'll be along soon, but this isn't a sight she needs to see, and you don't want to get caught in it either, I'm guessing."

There was no arguing there, Methos picked Mary up and dashed back to the grounds with her, hoping against all hope that Kronos was right and they would win the fight. Either way, he hoped that they were far enough away that they wouldn't see the Quickenings, Kronos was right, it wasn't something that Mary had to see.

* * *

"They've been out there a long time," Mary noticed.

Methos was and had been worrying for quite a time that the battle hadn't gone as planned, "yes, I know."

"Are they going to fight those two people that came?"

"Yes."

Mary nodded, "and they're going to kill them too?"

Methos shook his head, "I don't know…I…" he didn't know what to say. Yes he wanted his tormentors dead, but their Quickenings could have a horrible effect on Silas and Kronos once everything had calmed down. Another thing to consider, Mary had no knowledge about Immortals, and Methos decided since there was no chance of her ever becoming one, that was not something that she needed to know. Which made it all the harder to decide what to tell her…there was something to her, Methos knew that from the first time he saw her. He wasn't permitted to see her when her father was alive, but he had a few times whenthe manallowed her to come out. It was the only way he could've known there was a child, the man certainly never spoke of her, no, he preferred to do all the damage to her himself.

While he didn't know all the gory details, and she probably didn't know either, he knew that she'd been put through hell and it was all too much too soon, and it should have broken her, but it didn't. That told Methos that there had to be more to her than met the eye, however, he didn't know just how she would handle the truth about people like he, and Kronos, and Silas, and the others.

Just then, Methos became aware thatat least one Immortalwas coming their way, and he was able to get a look out at them just before they came barging in.

"What happened?" Methos asked.

"It's over," Kronos told him, "you won't have to worry about them anymore."

Methos couldn't remember if he'd ever felt as relieved as he did then, but he knew he couldn't show it, any attempt to appear grateful would've been ignored due to the rings surrounding his tired eyes, and the tired lines covering his face, he was weak that was no secret, from starvation, weak from being chained like a dog, weak from being denied most everything he needed to stay alive. He'd known that for as long as his brain could allow him to remember at this point, and he also knew that with every passing second, he was getting weaker, all he could do to express his gratitude was a simple, tired, "thank you."

And it was then, that he fell to the floor, the last thing he heard before he succumbed to death for yet another time, were the sudden gasps of shock from Kronos and Silas, and Mary screaming at the sight.

* * *

Maybe he wasn't dead, maybe he had only fallen unconscious, he had to, Methos knew that in death, even for an Immortal, you saw nothing, heard nothing, knew nothing, nothing of your surroundings, the people around you, and while he was lost in absolute blackness, he heard them, he could almost feel them standing over him.

"To see him go this far before collapsing is nothing short of amazing." Kronos, that was Kronos he was hearing.

"Is he dead?" Hewould've laughed if he could, Mary had such a nonchalant way of speaking of such things. Oh but he could tell she was worried, she was just trying to prepare herself for the worst so she wouldn't break down.

"No my dear," Kronos assured her, "if he were dead, the vultures would be landing and making quite a feast of him."

"On what?" Silas asked, "there's nothing left to him but his bones…even they look puny."

_That's right, Silas,_ Methos could hear himself thinking, _make a dead man feel even worse. _

"We'll just have to do something about that," Kronos said

"What will you do?" Mary asked.

"We'll figure something to do with him, don't you worry," he told her. Then he spoke to Silas, "bring him with you, I've got an idea."

What happened then, Methos would never know because that's when he truly succumbed to another miserable death. As time went by, Methos would come to realize just how dangerous a statement that was when it came from Kronos.


	4. Chapter 4

When Methos came back to life, the first thing he acknowledged was that he was on somebody's bed, he opened his eyes to find Silas standing over him, and for an instant, he forgot where he was and panicked. He tried to get away, but Silas grabbed him by the ankles and jerked him back into place, then moved up and pinned his arms down into the furs.

"Relax, you're safe now," he told Methos.

By that time, Methos could remember what all had happened, and he tried to control his labored breathing, in betweens huffs for air, he tried to apologize but even saying that much seemed almost impossible. When the threat of him trying to escape seemed to have passed, Silas let go of his arms and laid down beside him on the bed, Methos guessed to keep him company. He tried to move and found his shoulder was killing him, as was his wrist, in fact, a lot of places on him were hurting, when had he gotten so sore?

"It's allright," Silas told him, "it's over."

"Where's Kronos?" he asked.

"Looking for something to eat."

"And Mary?"

"He took her with him," Silas explained.

"Silas?"

"What?"

"The bodies…of the other Immortals…and the man who owns this place…what'd you do with them? Where're the bodies? Did Mary…"

Silas shook his head, "they're gone."

"Gone?" Methos repeated as he rubbed at his stiff wrist in attempt to loosen it up, "gone where?"

"We've buriedthem…don't worry, she didn't see anything."

"Good…she's been through enough already, she doesn't need to see something like that."

"You known her long?" Silas asked.

Methos shook his head and his neck popped painfully, "he kept her tied up in his tent most of the time…a few times he let her out and I saw her…that's the only way I knew she was here."

An Immortal presence broke up their conversation, and Mary came running in with Kronos right behind her.

"Are you allright, Mister?" she asked Methos.

"I'll be allright…" he looked towards Kronos, "where've you been?"

"Finding out that for even two people living here, that bastard sure didn't keep much food on hand," Kronos took over to the bed and laid down in Methos' reach one whole apple and one with two bites taken out of it, a pear and a piece of bread about the size of his fist. "It's all that we could find here…" when Kronos saw Methos hesitate, he told him, "you two go ahead, Silas and I have work to do before we leave." At that, Silas got up and followed Kronos out of the tent.

Mary sat down on the bed next to him and took the partially eaten apple, "I was hoping it was still here," she said.

"Yours?" Methos asked.

"Yes…he fed me every other day, and he started earlier but then the men came, so he put it away and went to see them," she explained.

Methos was beyond starved himself, but he knew that if he tried eating anything like he normally would, he stood a good chance of it coming right back up, so he started just nibbling on the bread, hoping his stomach would build up a tolerance for food of regular portions soon. After getting through a small portion of it, he decided to give his stomach a rest and he laid back against the furs on the bed.

"Mary?"

"Hmmm?"

"There's something I'd like to know, and I'm sorry if it upsets you, but ever since I came here, I've always seen your father around on the grounds, and you a few times yourself, but I've never seen your mother. Is she even here?"

Mary shook her head, "she died when I was little."

Methos lowered his head and gazed down, not wishing to meet her eyes, which he imagined must have been terribly painful by now. "I'm sorry," he said.

"She didn't die when I was born, like a lot of them do," she told him, "she got sick for a long time, and one night she went to sleep…and then she never woke up."

_Oh God_, Methos could feel his eyes burning with tears of regret for asking, and hurting the child, and all the while she just sounded so calm about it, he couldn't believe it.

"It's best for her," she said, "she's where nobody can hurt her now."

And that, Methos decided, must have been the only logic she could find connected to the death. "Did your father hurt her, too?" he wanted to shut himself up but found he couldn't.

"A c…a couple of times…she told him if he ever did it again, she'd kill him…and she said the same that if he hurt me she'd kill him."

Methos thought it was beginning to make sense, all except for one thing, there was no way to tell if the woman had actually gotten sick, or if the man had poisoned her. The more he faced the facts of what had gone on, the more he realized how much the bastard had had it coming, and now he was starting to regret he hadn't stuck around to watch him as he died.

* * *

"It was then that you actually found a reason to enjoy the killings," Kronos reminded him, "at least those you thought deserved it...even though it took a while for it to really catch on."

Methos remember, he remembered all too well the hate and the rage, and how much he wanted to see that bastard suffer long, excruciating torture, but it wasn't long before he found more people to fill that void.

"I see that within time, you forgot that little talent of mine," Kronos commented, "for a thousand years I tried to think ofa way to get out…then one day, a couple ofpriests bombard me with fruit and I see a way out, all it took were a few indistinguishable cries for help, and that fool priestbought it. And you in all your planning never anticipated that I might try it to escape."

"Well after a thousand years, you tend to forget some things," Methos said, "and if I'd remembered when I put you in the ditch what I'd learned then…"

"I still would've found a way out of any trap you could've come up with," Kronos said, "it would've held me there for a while, but I would've gotten loose sooner or later, nothing lasts forever, you know that."

"Yes I do," Methos responded, "you see plenty of that in over 5,000 years."

"Do you still remember that we had to spend the night at that God forsaken place?" Kronos asked.

Methos let out a single, humorless laugh, "yes, I'm afraid I do…all too well I remember it."

* * *

Methos couldn't remember falling asleep but he must've, because he woke up when he felt somebody poking at him. Looking up, he saw that it was only Kronos. He sat up, or tried to anyway, his back wasn't being too agreeable with him. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Get up," Kronos told him.

Methos didn't know what to make of it, Kronos didn't sound urgent about it like they were being attacked or anything, but he forced himself up anyway. "What's going on?"

Kronos grabbed his wrist and tugged on it, jerking him along a bit, "follow me."

"Where're we going?" Methos asked.

"I had Silas take the child out of here for a while, I don't care what that poor excuse of a father did to her, she doesn't need to see this," Kronos told him.

"See what? Where're we going?" Methos asked, and for a moment, the fear and the panic was back in him that once again, he'd made a fatal error by trusting someone. The panic only made his aching body hurt even more, and he was starting to realize the pains were getting sharper.

Kronos had taken him back around to the well and once they got there, he reached down and grabbed the bottom of the tunic Methos wore, or rather what was left of it, and started to lift it up when Methos slapped his hands away in shock and stepped back. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"You know I don't know," Kronos replied, "but I thought I'd do you a favor and help you wash before we leave…the horses smell bad enough as it is, and if you're going to ride with me, then I demand that at least one of you be pleasant company."

Kronos reached for the bottom of it again, and once again Methos slapped his hands away.

"What's the matter now?" he asked.

Methos didn't answer.

"I'm getting pretty tired of this," he said and he grabbed at the bottom again.

"No, don't," Methos grabbed his hands and pushed them away.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because…" Methos brought himself to say, "I'm not wearing anything underneath." The fact ordinarily didn't bother him because usually he was surrounded by people of the same attire, but that had not been the case once he'd arrived here. Now, especially after being the erotic plaything of many customers, he preferred the less people that knew the fact, the better.

"A lot of people don't, and it's certainly nothing I haven't seen before," Kronos said as he grabbed at the tunic again, "you know there are civilizations where they don't wear anything? Just go about their day naked as the day they were born…it's not something I'd recommend, although that reminds me..."

Kronos forgot about lifting the tunic up and just tore the material and let it fall to the ground, that solitary act left Methos in shock.

"That bunch of rags couldn't have lasted much longer anyway, it's a wonder they still held together as it was…besides, it won't matter because I found some new clothes for you…I think they belonged to the master of this place. They're a little big, but I think once you can keep some real food down, that shouldn't be a problem," Kronos told him, "anyway, as I was saying about those civilizations…"

"I think I knew a couple of them myself," Methos said, "that was a while back, though."

"That a fact? Then this should be nothing you're a novice to."

"Ordinarily I wash myself," Methos replied, still feeling a bit nervous about it all.

"Ordinarily that might be true, but right now I don't think that's too likely right now. You've been falling over yourself all day…and if you can't even remember how long ago it was he chained you up, then I'd say it's a wonder you can get around on your own at all…"

Whatever Kronos had planned on saying next, he didn't, and Methos noticed that. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Kronos had an almost embarrassed look on his face, "I just realized, I never even asked who you were."

"Nobody anymore," Methos replied.

"No, your name…you _do_ have a name, don't you?"

"Methos."

"I see…" Kronos said nothing more and instead began to wash Methos, despite his protests.

"Just what is it that's got you so worked up?" Kronos asked. Then a thought came to him, and he assured Methos, "I've been many things in several lifetimes, however I can assure you that one thing I'm not and have never been, is like _those_ people."

"Good."

"Now just relax and we'll get this over with sooner," Kronos resumed washing him, "I…I don't believe we've ever met before, I think I'd remember you," Kronos said.

"Why do you say that?" Methos asked.

"How old are you?" Kronos asked.

"Old enough…too old to really remember anymore."

Kronos nodded, "I'm about the same anymore…anyway, sometimes I m…I m…I've met other Immortals, different times and places, we went our separate ways…long time afterwards we'd meet again…it'd take a while for us to recognize one another though…but you," he laughed, "well I think I'd remember that face."

"I try not to make myself too obvious," Methos told him.

"That does seem to be the way some of us go about it," Kronos said.

Kronos seemed to know that Methos was still a bit uneasy about the washing, so he tried to take his mind off of it with questions about his background, his former lives in former villages, if he'd been married, and for a while it seemed to work, but when Methos felt Kronos move lower down, he panicked and kicked Kronos away, causing him to fall and land on his back, Methos had just missed kicking him in the crotch.

"Allright, suit yourself," Kronos said in a reply that was shocked and bitter, "if that's the way you're going to be, you can…"

He stopped, he saw that something had sent Methos into a blind panic, and now he was on the ground in a ball with his hands pressing into his scalp and his eyes closed tightly, and he was moaning something incoherent. Kronos went over to him, careful not to touch him, lest it further the trauma he appeared to be suffering from.

"I'm sorry, Methos…" Kronos took in the sight before him, and knew that whatever had taken place here, it left its mark on Methos, permanently. "My God…what did those bastards do to you?"

His hand found its way to Methos back to offer some comfort, only to draw it back in surprise when Methos screamed, "Don't touch me, Kronos! Don't touch me!"

"What's wrong?"

Methos could hardly even say what he did, "it hurts…oh God, Kronos, it hurts!"

"What does?" Kronos asked, hoping that there was something he could do to relieve his new friend of this agony.

"Everything," Methos cried, "I can't…" he forced himself to suck in a breath to go on, "it hurts to even breathe…"

Methos couldn't say anymore as he lost all the air he had in him by screaming in excruciating pain as every single inch of his body ached as he'd never felt before. It got so bad that he was temporarily paralyzed by the pain, he couldn't move, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't do anything except wait for the torture to stop, or to die.

* * *

Methos woke up crying and that was proof that he hadn't died, he must have just passed out from the pain. When he woke up he came to a couple of realizations, one, he was in a bed again, and two, he was dressed this time in a new tunic and leg wrappingsunderneath. Before he could figure out what had happened, he felt an Immortal enter the tent again, and he heard Kronos, "feeling better?"

Methos turned to him, with some difficulty from the pain he was still feeling in his neck and spine. "What happened?"

"What do you think happened?" Kronos asked, "you screamed until you fainted. Then, I got you dressed and brought you back here, and none too soon either, they're back."

"They who?" Methos asked.

He got his answer when he saw Mary come into the tent, and she ran right over to him and she made herself right at home beside him on the bed.

"Are you feeling better, Mister?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Kronos said that you weren't feeling well and needed to rest…are you feeling better now?" Mary asked.

Methos hadn't thought about it until then, but he realized that now he was better than he'd been all day, nothing was stiff, nothing hurt when he turned, now he could breathe without feeling something stabbing him.

"Oh I'm feeling much better now, thank you very much," he told her.

"Good, I'm glad," Mary said, "Silas says we'll leave tomorrow, are you coming with us?"

Kronos answered before Methos could say anything, "of course he is."

"Tomorrow?" Methos asked.

"You've been out of it for quite a while…it's dark now and it won't do us much good to get out of here," Kronos said, then muttered into his ear just so they could hear, "especially with the little one."

"How long was I out?" Methos asked.

"A good part of the day…I wasn't sure you really were though…you kept twisting and jerking around and moaning…for a while I considered killing you so you could start over again…but I decided that your body must need to get used to moving regularly again. I think it worked."

Methos turned to see Silas and his neck popped loudly enough for both he and Kronos to hear.

"For the most of it, anyway," Kronos added.

Methos was going to say something, but his attention was drawn to what Silas had just removed from a bundle he'd brought in.

"What's that?" he asked.

"That's our dinner," Kronos told him, then he asked Silas, "and how much further out did you find that?"

"Not too far, we'll cross through there come morning," Silas replied.

Methos took into account everything Silas had brought with him, 4 apples, a bunch of green grapes, a whole loaf of bread, three well-sized fish, and a dead rabbit. Silas took the fish and the rabbit outside to get them cleaned and cooked, it had been so long since he last ate, and he was so hungry that Methos grabbed up a bunch of the grapes and hadn't paid attention to the seeds until he bit directly down on one. Kronos noted the painful look on his face. "What's the matter?"

Methos spit the seeds and moaned in response to the pain.

"That's what you get for eating too fast," Mary scolded him.

Kronos laughed, it never seemed to matter how old they got, they always encountered a small child who seemed to have to tell them a thing or two.

* * *

"That Mary is something, isn't she?" Methos asked.

After they'd eaten, Mary went with Silas to look around the grounds for a while to see if there was anything else worth taking, leaving Kronos and Methos alone, so Methos decided it was safe to talk without her around.

"Yes, something that can be rather annoying, I figure she gets that from her mother," Kronos said.

He felt a pair of eyes watching him and turned to see Methos staring at him through half-closed lids. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," Methos looked away.

"She'll certainly make someone very happy as a daughter," Kronos said.

Methos bit his lip as he considered it. "I suppose so---do we really have to give her away tomorrow?"

"Yes," Kronos replied without missing a beat, "I know you don't want to, but we can't take her back with us. It wouldn't be fair to her, and she wouldn't be safe."

"She'd have the three of us looking after her," Methos said.

"Yes, I know, but we're Immortal, other Immortals would come looking for us…and they'd use her to get to us…maybe even kill her if they got the chance…and I know you wouldn't want that happening."

"What if we can't?" Methos asked.

"What?" Kronos turned to him.

"What if we can't find someone to take her?" Methos asked.

"We will."

"We're not going to leave her with just anybody," Methos told him. He didn't care if he couldn't fight, he was going to make sure that Kronos understood him.

"No we won't," Kronos said, "we'll find someone we want…someone we can trust."

"And if we can't?" Methos asked, "I don't want her going through this again."

"I know…" Kronos replied, "we'll find somebody…don't worry about it."

When Methos didn't respond, he felt something was amiss. "What?"

"I was just thinking about something," Methos said.

"What?" Kronos repeated, you could tell by his tone that he was determined to find out just what was on his mind.

"You said that after I passed out, you brought me back here and dressed me, and then Silas and Mary came back, right?"

"Wrong…I said first I dressed you, _then_ I brought you back here, and then they came."

"But then you said that the reason we're leaving tomorrow is because I was out for so long," Methos said.

"Yes…do you have any idea how hard it is to dress someone who won't move voluntarily, but is still flipping about like a fish out of water?" Kronos asked.

"I'm sorry," Methos replied and hung his head low to avoid eye contact.

"It's allright…how are you feeling now?" Kronos asked.

Methos turned to him and his neck popped again, "not too bad."

"Good."

Methos stretched out in the bed again, "I don't believe it."

"What?" Kronos asked.

"I've slept for most of the day and I'm still tired," Methos said.

"Then rest," Kronos told him, "you certainly deserve it."

Methos was too tired to argue, he was too tired to do anything except lay back down. Even though most of what he'd done today was just sleep, this was the best day he'd lived through in a long time.

* * *

A sudden jerking sensation woke Methos from a less than peaceful rest, he opened his eyes and saw Kronos shaking him. They both knew why he'd done it.

"What's the matter? What happened?" Kronos asked.

Methos couldn't answer, he felt sick, and ashamed for crying again, and apparently this time it was worse than before, he collar of his tunic was dripping wet with his tears. He looked away and said, "I'm sorry."

"You keep saying that," Kronos said, "and for no reason." Either Kronos was fed up with Methos' behavior, or he'd just gone crazy, he jumped on to the bedand grabbed Methos, using his body weight to keep him pinned to the bed, Kronos stroked his head and tried to comfort him as one might a tired child…or in this case, a frightened one.

"It's allright, it's over," Kronos assured him, "tomorrow, we leave this place, and hopefully you'll be able to leave some of the painful memories behind."

Methos nodded, he hoped the same thing, he'd waited for this for so long, now it had finally happened, and it was overwhelming to him.

After a few minutes, the worst seemed to pass. "Are you allright now?" Kronos asked.

Methos nodded again, Kronos slowly nodded in agreement and he got off of Methos and started to bring the blankets up on him when something occurred to Methos, and he shot up in the bed. "What about Silas and Mary?"

"What about them?" Kronos asked.

"Where are they going to sleep?" Methos asked.

Methos could very well guess that it would just be he and Kronos in the tent tonight, why that was, he didn't know, as tired as he was, he couldn't have cared if it were all four of them in the bed.

An eerie smile formed on Kronos' face. "Mary kept getting thirsty after dinner, so they're going to sleep down by the well."

Just then they felt an Immortal approaching them, a few seconds afterwards, Mary entered the tent, with Silas following right behind her. "Kronos, is everything allright in here?"

"Everything's fine, Silas."

"Are you really going to help me find new parents tomorrow?" Mary asked Methos.

"Of course we are," Methos told her.

"Good," Mary kissed Methos on the cheek, and that surprised him.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Goodnight," Mary said.

"Goodnight."

Mary went over to Kronos, who hesitated for a minute, then patted her on the shoulder and said, "goodnight, kid."

Mary leaned over to him and kissed him on the cheek and replied, "goodnight, Kronos."

Kronos almost fell backwards after that and Methos could see that. After that, Silas escorted her out for the night, and Kronos recovered from the shock and headed over to the bed. Methos could tell there was something weird going on, but what it was, he didn't quite know, and he was too tired to try and guess tonight. Kronos turned his back to him, and Methos paid no attention to him or to anything until he felt something pressing against his lips. It was a cup, gold cast, that had belonged to the master, along with a matching platter, that had no doubt been one of the payments someone had paid for getting to use him as a plaything.

Methos wanted to ask what it was for, but as soon as he parted his lips to speak, the cup was pressed against them again.

"Drink," was the only thing Kronos told him.

Methos turned away from the cup, "Kronos…"

He pressed the cup against his mouth again, "drink."

Methos turned his cheek to the cup to try again, "Kronos…"

Kronos jerked his head around front and held the cup to his lips again. "Drink," he repeated.

There was no threat in his tone, but Methos knew resisting would get him nowhere, so he drank. He expected it to be water, but the second it hit his tongue, he recognized a familiar taste of grapes…sour grapes.

"Wine," he muttered when Kronos took the cup away.

"Yes…not very good I'm afraid…but it'll do for tonight…"

Methos wasn't paying attention to what he said, but he nodded anyway, he was so tired he just wanted to go to sleep, and he would. Sleeping would be easy, it would be waking up that would be the hard part, because he knew that he was going to wake up alone.


	5. Chapter 5

"I was certain that in the morning I'd wake up and find that you'd already left…decided that you had better things to do than put up with a weakling who couldn't stop falling down or crying…in fact, I was surprised when you didn't," Methos said.

"You never told me that," Kronos said.

"Well I figured if you hadn't come up with the idea already, I didn't want to give you any ideas," Methos said, "as much as I couldn't blame you if you had…I dreaded being alone again, and open prey for anybody who would overpower me, and that wouldn't take much…and I was sure that's what you were setting me up for."

Kronos laughed, "you underestimate me, Brother…the idea never crossed my mind…that night, I gave you that wine to relax, so at least you could rest…for most of the night it worked, too."

"What?"

"A few times you started moaning and thrashing around in the bed, but after what you'd been doing all the day, that was nothing."

Methos shook his head, "I still don't know why…or _how_ you could put up with me."

"Because," Kronos replied, "it hadn't been too long before I found Silas that I was in a similar condition, only I had to bring myself out of it."

Methos turned to him. "And _you_ never told me_ that._"

"So we're even…the next day, things weren't as bad."

"No," Methos replied in his returning cynics, "no, the next day they weren't as bad, they got worse."

* * *

Methos was asleep when he felt something, he brushed it away thinking it a bug of some sort, it touched him again, and this time it ripped a hair out of his head. He yelped and shot up in the bed only to see Mary beside him, smiling. 

"Can I help you?" he asked.

"Kronos said it's time to get up," she said.

That surprised Methos, "he's still here?"

"Yep, they both are," Mary said, "he said that we'll be leaving soon, and you're riding with him, so come on."

Methos got up and Mary showed him the way out and over to Kronos and Silas, who were loading up the horses with what they'd found and taken the day before, which hadn't been much.

"I got him!" Mary announced.

"Good," Kronos responded, "you'll ride with Silas, and Methos…you'll come with me."

Kronos mounted his horse with no trouble, but it took both he and Silas to get Methos up with him, then Silas took Mary and got the both of them on his.

* * *

"That was certainly an amusing time," Kronos laughed. 

"Yes," Methos replied in more of a bitter tone, "all it took was getting from the ground to the horse and already I was motion sick."

"That," Kronos said, "was just because it'd been a while since you were on a horse."

"Too long," Methos responded, "to this day I've never been able to figure out just how long I was there."

"It doesn't matter now," Kronos said.

"No…all that mattered was that I got out," Methos said.

"And from there, everything changed."

* * *

They'd found the city that Silas had visited the day before, it was full of people, and plenty of whom would have loved a child, there was just one problem. 

"I don't like them," Methos said.

"Which ones?" Kronos asked.

"Any of them," he replied, "and I'm not just saying that because I want to keep her. I'm saying it because I don't trust any of them, I can't explain it, but I don't trust them."

Kronos looked back at Mary, whom Silas was watching, they'd just finished speaking with another couple, and Mary got nervous around them and asked to leave.

"I know," Kronos said as he turned back to face Methos, "trusting people can be the hardest part, but we have to find someone."

Methos was too busy draining the juice from an orange to reply, he didn't take his teeth out of it until the rind was most of what was left.

"Trying for everything except the seeds, are you?" Kronos asked.

"I can't help it, I'm so thirsty."

"It's this damn heat…it murders your hunger but does plenty for thirst." Kronos had just about drowned himself on water and wine, so he passed his cup to Methos. "Help yourself."

A loud scream got their attention, and before they could even figure out who was screaming, they were running to see what Mary had done now.

They found her crying and leaning against Silas who was about to attack the husband they'd just been speaking with. Methos rushed to Mary and gathered her up in his arms so she wouldn't get hurt, and Kronos broke up the fight before it started.

"Now what's going on?" he asked Silas.

"He started it," Silas pointed to the man.

Once they got a better look at the man, they were sorry they did, it was safe to guess what had happened to him…and more importantly, who did it.

"What's the idea of screaming at her?" Methos asked, "now she's crying."

"SHE'S crying?" he asked, "I'm the one she threw up on!"

"Maybe she had good reason for it," Kronos said.

"He scared me," Mary told Methos over her sobbing.

"We can see that," Kronos replied.

"No…he scared me and then I was sick," she told him.

"Well don't cry, you'll only make yourself worse," Methos told her, "it's allright, nobody's going to hurt you…we'll see to that."

At the "we'll", Silas picked up on that and he and Kronos led the guy away so Mary would hear them beating him.

* * *

"I'm not going to live with that man, am I?" Mary asked Methos once she'd calmed down. 

"Of course not," Methos told her, "you wait, and we'll find someone who you'll be perfect for."

"I hope so," Mary said, "you're allright, but you make a lousy mother."

"Thanks a lot," Methos said.

"And Silas is allright too…but you can't have 2 fathers."

"And what about Kronos?" Methos asked.

"I don't know," Mary said, "did I do something?"

"What?" Methos asked.

"He doesn't seem to like me very much…did I do something wrong?" Mary asked.

"Of course not," Methos assured her.

"Then why doesn't he like me?" Mary asked.

Methos didn't know the answer to that, although it did remind him of what he'd been trying to put together last night, only he'd been too tired. Since they'd found her, he and Silas were the only ones who paid much attention to her, and attention, and comfort, she clearly needed a lot of. Kronos hadn't held her once, and the night before, he barely touched her as he bid her goodnight, and then he almost fell over when she kissed him. Something odd was going on, and Methos planned to find out just what it was, however, now was not the time for it.

"It's not that he doesn't like you, he does, believe me."

"Then why does he act like he doesn't want me around?" Mary asked.

"I don't know, Mary…I honestly don't know."

* * *

With no one in that city as a good choice, they took off again, and came upon a small village where once again, they were asking every couple if they could take in their "niece" as a daughter of their own, since they were leaving for battle soon and would most likely not come back. And with every person they asked, if Mary didn't find a problem with them, Methos or Silas did, and Kronos didn't argue with them. 

Soon, the day had turned to night, and they were no further off than they had been in the beginning of the day.

"We'll find another place to check tomorrow," Kronos told Methos.

"And suppose we don't have any more luck there than we had here?" he asked.

"I don't know," Kronos replied, "but we'll have to do something, we can't keep her with us for the rest of her life…"

"Why not?" Methos asked.

"Because the less she has to do with us, the more likely she'll have a rest of her life," Kronos told him, "you know that."

He knew it, he just didn't want to think of it, he didn't want to think about a lot of things, and they all seemed to be building up on his mind at the same time.

"Kronos?"

"What?"

"What if we can't? I know it doesn't seem possible, but what if we can't find anyone?" Methos asked.

"We will, Methos, we will…"

But Methos didn't believe it…couldn't believe it. He had a horrible feeling about the whole thing.

They heard someone approaching and looked to see a woman coming their way. She didn't look a threat, but they knew that looks could be deceiving.

"What do you want?" Kronos asked.

"Excuse me please," she said, "but the little girl said you wanted to see me."

They looked at each other for a minute, they had never even seen this woman, let alone asked to see her, however, they decided to try their luck with her anyway. One thing they already liked about her, most people when they first approached them would try to disappear, or they'd just stand and stare. This woman on the other hand didn't seem to be frightened of them in the least.

"She's our niece," Methos said, "her parents died and she's been traveling with us…but we can't afford to keep her much longer."

"We're going into battle once we leave this place," Kronos added, "and we need someone to take care of her for us…someone who'd be willing to care for her like a real daughter."

The woman formed a grin that told them that she was onto something. "And you've been going around asking all the couples if they want a child," she said.

"Yes we have," Methos replied, he still didn't see where this was going.

Apparently Kronos didn't know anymore than Methos did. "Shouldn't we have?" he asked.

The woman laughed, "I suppose it helps if there can be a mother and father around, but you seem to have had no luck with them."

Methos shook his head. "No, so far we haven't found anyone we liked."

"Then perhaps I can be of help," she said.

They looked up at her when she said that. "How?" they asked.

She was grinning again, "I am not married…nor will I ever be…however, I do want a daughter, and I could assure you that a lovely angel like your niece would be no trouble at all."

"Well," Methos said, "you'll have to excuse us, but I think we're just having a little trouble figuring out how if you're alone---"

She cut him off, "I'm not alone, I have 3 sisters, 5 brothers, and my mother…but no husband, no, but I wouldn't think that would be enough to turn me away."

"Why not a husband?" Kronos asked. When the two sets of eyes turned to him, he continued. "How can you be sure you will never marry?"

"Because," she laughed, "when I was a little girl, my father made known to every man in the village, "if you touch her, you'll come up with something missing", and since he passed away, my brothers have taken over in passing the warning, and I can assure you that your niece would be just as safe with us."

They considered it, then decided that they must have Silas and Mary decide about the woman before they did anything else.

* * *

"I like her," Mary told Methos about an hour after they'd introduced them. 

"What do you say, Methos?" Kronos asked.

"So far she seems to be the best one we've seen," Methos said.

"Well I'm not convinced yet," Silas said. He approached the woman, who was only about half his size and weight, and told her, "turn around a couple times so we can see if there're any sharp corners to you."

"Oh you're horrible," the woman said lightheartedly, and she shoved Silas so far and so hard that he fell backwards. Once he got himself to his feet again he said, "I thought so," he turned to Kronos and Methos and pointed to the woman, "she'll do."

"Did you see that?" Kronos asked Methos.

"Yes, and she's so small…imagine what she could do if she was his size," Methos replied.

"Or even ours," Kronos added.

"What do you think?" Methos asked.

"She's the best I've seen," Kronos told him.

"Me too," Methos said.

"And Mary likes her," Kronos added.

"And that is most important," Methos responded.

"So are we agreed?" Kronos asked.

Methos almost couldn't bring himself to say it, but this was what they had to do.

"I suppose we have the answer then, Miss…" Kronos said.

"My name is Alexandria."

"Then I guess that's it," Methos said.

* * *

"Now you be good and don't give them any trouble," Methos told Mary as he held her one last time, "you understand?" 

"Yes, Methos."

"Good," Methos kissed her on the cheek and set her down, she went over to Silas to tell him goodbye, and he picked her up and swung her around a couple of times, and she kissed him and told him goodbye as well. Then when he put her down, she went over to Kronos, and she knew that he wasn't going to do anything, so she took him by surprise and jumped on him, and he put his hands on her to keep her still, and she embraced him for all she was worth and kissed him goodbye as well. When he let her down, she went to go with Alexandria, but she looked back at Methos and immediately turned around and ran to him again. She jumped into his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck as he held her for what would be the _very_ last time.

"I love you, Methos," she told him.

And Methos lost all capability of talking, he couldn't say anything, he couldn't turn her away, and he also couldn't tell her that he loved her. Mary got herself down and finally went with Alexandria, who assured them Mary would be in good hands, and if they should survive the battle, to come back and see them again. Once they had gone, Kronos suggested they go on to sleep since they'd be leaving in the morning, Methos refused to make eye contact with either of them and he ran off. He didn't know where he was, or where he was going, or when he would stop, and he didn't care, he was only vaguely aware of Kronos calling after him as he followed him.

At any other time, Methos might have proven to be faster and swifter than Kronos, but still recovering from his treatment as a prisoner, he soon became too weak to carry on. It was around that time that Kronos caught up with him, only he hadn't seen Methos slow down so he literally ran into Methos and they both fell to the ground.

Kronos knocked Methos face first into the dirt and got up so Methos could move up, but he made no effort to move. "Methos, are you allright?"

Methos didn't answer, Kronos pulled him up and every time he tried to turn Methos around, he'd look another way, any way so he wouldn't have to face Kronos. Now Kronos wasn't too bright, but even he knew why Methos was doing it.

"I know, believe me I know, Methos…I'm going to miss Mary too…but we couldn't keep her with us, you know that."

Methos didn't say anything to him, he didn't even try to face Kronos, he just threw himself over on his stomach and buried his face in his folded arms and cried. Kronos inched his way over to Methos and inched his hand bit by bit until it met with Methos' back. He became aware of another Immortal presence and looking back the way they came, he saw Silas approaching to see what had happened. Kronos sent him away with the wave of a hand, Silas didn't need to see what had become of Methos, and Methos didn't need the unwanted company either.

"Methos...Methos…" Kronos felt he might as well be talking to thin air, but he pressed on, "Methos, she's going to be allright. The worst that could've happened would be if she'd stayed with us…it's no place for a child, traveling from one place to the next with 3 Immortals, you have to know how that is." Kronos tried to get through to him, but he just cried and cried. Kronos picked him up again and turned Methos around, forcing him to face him, but Methos wouldn't look at him, he just buried his face into Kronos' chest and wept, expecting at any moment to either be pushed away, or kicked like a dog, and cursed for his weakness, but it didn't happen.

Kronos instead held Methos closer and let him grieve until he had exhausted himself and was about to fall asleep. Then Kronos pulled him to his feet and headed back to where they were sleeping, first he laid Methos down and pulled off his boots, and covered him with a wolf's fur they'd taken in a previous raid, and then settled himself down by him. Methos looked to already be asleep, but Kronos knew he hadn't fully slipped into it yet, so instead of waking Methos up, he just whispered barely loud enough for Methos to hear, "goodnight, Methos."

* * *

Another day went by, and one day led to the next, until the days became a week, and one week followed another, and as the time went, the 3 Immortals traveled from one place to the next…looking for a place to stay temporarily, they were getting tired of stopping in one town one day, and leaving for another the next. Finally they found a place where they figured they could retire to for a few years, providing they didn't die in front of witnesses anytime soon. 

Come night they had two tents set up, one for Silas, and one for Kronos and Methos, Methos seemed to be taking the loss of Mary better, but Kronos still didn't trust him by himself. Almost every night, Methos was plagued by nightmares, memories of being tied up, and beaten, and left out in the freezing nights and the burning hot days, and of being touched and groped and far worse than that. Once he was fully awake, and aware that things had changed, he was grateful for Kronos' presence. It got tired very quickly, but Kronos wouldn't leave him alone at night until the nightmares ceased, he figured that might not be for some time, meanwhile Methos' company was a nice change of pace from it just being he and Silas.

That night was different, Methos didn't say a lot as it was, for fear of saying too much, something that followed him from his recent imprisonment that hadn't left him yet, but he'd said less to Kronos that night than he was used to. Now here they were in the dying oil light, with their backs to each other and Kronos felt more like he was lying backed against a porcupine than Methos.

"Methos?"

"What?"

"What's wrong with you?" Kronos asked, "you've been acting weird all night, what's the matter?" he got no answer, "tell me, Methos."

Methos rolled over and sat up, "I have a question to ask you…only I'm not sure if I should ask."

"Well whatever in the world could it be that it has you like this?" Kronos asked, "what's it about?"

"Mary…Kronos, ever since we found her, I've been wondering something, and I just can't figure out what it is."

"What is it?" Kronos asked.

"I…" Methos didn't know if he dared ask, or if he should just shut up now…he didn't, "why did you act like you didn't want her around?"

"What are you talking about?" Kronos asked, "I never…"

"You never touched her. When we found her, Silas got her loose, and she was scared and he soothed her…then when you raided whatever her father had, I washed her and then I had her go and get you…and she ate with me, and Silas always took her to sleep with him…and when she kissed you, you acted like you were disgusted by it. The only time you touched her was when you grabbed her, and gave her to me so you two could fight the other Immortals…and you didn't even hold her when she was leaving, she had to come to you. She asked me what she did that you didn't want her…I couldn't answer her because I didn't know myself, and I still don't."

"It's not that I didn't want her around," Kronos explained, "I just didn't want it happening again…" Methos looked at him and he let out a half-laugh, "yes, I thought that'd get your attention. You see…a few years back I was married to a woman, and she had a daughter…her husband had just died, so when I married her I became…well anyway, Eva…she was a lot like Mary, and over time I…well I know it isn't possible but she was as much a daughter to me if she'd been my own." By now, Kronos was struggling to find the words to continue, and Methos was sure he'd made the biggest mistake in his life.

"But I tell you, make one too many enemies in the same place and it's hell what happens next. We were ambushed, they ran me through, and when I came to…" he laughed humorlessly, "there they were, their bodies mutilated, their blood staining every inch of our home…and…Ira, they were more merciful when they killed her, they just…tore her clean open down the middle…but Eva, they ripped open every part of her, and her eyes…in death those eyes just stared up at me. When I buried them, I about lost my mind…I never found the men responsible for it. I haven't been able to forget what happened, and I didn't want to get too close to Mary should something happen to her. So now you know…"

And Methos took that as his cue to leave, he stood up, "I'm sorry…I'll leave you alone."

He turned to leave, only to be grabbed by the ankles and jerked back down to the ground, he didn't argue as he was turned over, he was just waiting for whatever Kronos saw fit to do with him now.

"You're not going anywhere," he said, and when he saw that Methos had heard that differently than he'd meant it, he continued, "you don't have to leave."

Methos wasn't convinced, "but I've upset you…" and he moved to get up again.

"Well…" Kronos returned as he pulled Methos back to the ground again, "…you had to know…and maybe now that you do, we can both get some rest now."

"I'm sorry, Kronos."

"It's allright…it's in the past…now go on to sleep."

Methos did, but he feared that as far as Kronos was concerned, the worst wasn't over for him yet.

* * *

Time passed, and Methos continued to recover, he gained enough weight that now he only looked scrawny instead of a skeleton with flesh. His nightmares came less and less until finally it seemed to be a thing of the past, and eventually, Kronos didn't feel the need to watch him while he slept. But also as time passed, Kronos became bored of their surroundings, he wanted them to see what lay ahead of this, and as Methos was starting to find out, what Kronos wanted, he usually got. 

One night they loaded up the horses and left, not having yet decided if they would return if things ahead were worse, or if they would simply go on from there. It wasn't until the next night that they found themselves on new land, however they quickly found out it wasn't _good_ land. The people were dead, all of them missing something, some had only been reduced to bones. Upon a further investigation of the corpses, the three Immortals saw that some members of that village had turned to cannibalism in order to stay alive, they knew no animals could do the damage that they saw.

They headed further into the village and it wasn't long until they felt it, another Immortal was nearby.

"Oh no," Methos could hardly even be heard as he said it. He was in better condition now than he had been, and he had been training with Kronos to get used to fighting again, but he knew he was still no match for any Immortal.

"Come on," Kronos said, he was determined to find out who else was there.

They found him not far from there, apparently he was the one to thank for all the chewed up corpses lying around the place. He was currently feasting on another one when the presence really hit him, and he looked up from his dinner and saw the three of them.

Kronos and Silas just watched, waiting to see what he would do next, Methos on the other hand, _knew_ what he was going to do next, he was going to charge at them, one of them. However, Methos never could have anticipated which one, and when the Immortal got to his feet and ran straight for them, Methos expected him to come at him at any time, but he didn't. Instead, they were all taken by surprise when the cannibal caught Kronos and he screamed in surprise, they both fell to the ground, and just as the other Immortal was about to sink his teeth into him, he drew his head back screaming in agony.

He fell backwards and once Kronos could see what had happened, he couldn't believe it. Neither could Silas who had actually witnessed the whole thing as it happened, Methos had charged at the new Immortal and run him through with his sword. Now that the Immortal had fallen back, it pushed the sword further through him, and he succumbed to the temporary death all Immortals came to know sooner or later. Kronos looked up at Methos in awe and wonder, he hadn't been expected to be much of a fighter, or even at surviving, but now Kronos didn't know what to think of him. He got back to his feet, looked Methos dead in the eyes and said, "Well done, Brother."

That was when things started taking a turn, for the better or worse, nobody could tell at the time, and 4,000 years later, Methos still didn't know.

After he was dead, Methos couldn't comprehend what had happened, and once again, he found himself running, this time, Kronos was right behind him, ordering Silas to watch the corpse as he left, and Kronos caught up with him. Actually when he figured he'd gotten close enough, he threw himself to the ground and caught Methos by the feet and brought Methos down as well.

"Back to that again, are you?" Kronos asked him.

Methos made no attempt to get up, or even to move at all, Kronos turned him over, there was a blank look in his eyes, and now he was shaking horribly.

"What's the matter?" Kronos asked.

Methos moaned as if he were in excruciating pain, "I don't even know what I've done."

Kronos grabbed Methos' wrists and pulled him to his feet. "What you did, Methos, was nothing short of spectacular…I thought you didn't have it in you to attack."

"I don't!" Methos shrieked as he stepped back. At least that's what he'd always thought. That's how he'd always known it. But now, he didn't know what to think.


	6. Chapter 6

Methos tried to run again, but Kronos grabbed him by the back of his tunic and jerked him back. Then he slipped one arm under his thighs and the other behind Methos' back and picked him up so he couldn't run away this time, and he went back the way they came with Methos kicking and moaning and demanding to be put down.

Kronos laughed, "Methos, this is the most lively I've seen you act yet. We may have to do this again sometime."

They returned and found Silas standing over the corpse.

"Nothing yet?" Kronos asked.

Silas shook his head. The damage that Methos had done to the Immortal was taking a long time to heal.

"Put me down!" Methos demanded, kicking and writhing all the while.

"Sure," Kronos dropped Methos and he hit the ground hard.

Methos pulled himself up and sat up and looked up at Kronos. "What was that for?"

"You asked for it." Kronos laughed a bit then became more serious. "I'm sorry, Methos, here, give me your hand."

Methos scowled and snarled and he turned away and drew his knees to his chest and he watched the corpse. Kronos turned the way he did and Methos turned another way away from him. That continued for quite a while, finally Methos grew tired of it, and it was about at that time that the new Immortal returned to life. At the first breath he sucked in, Methos panicked and scrambled back towards Kronos and grabbed at his tunic. Kronos jerked Methos to his feet and they watched the Immortal as he adjusted to the experience of coming back to life, that was one experience that no matter how many times you went through it, you were never really prepared for it. Methos was expecting once he was able to see straight and got to his feet that he'd try and attack them again. However he wouldn't get that chance, Silas walked right up behind him and grabbed the man's wrist and pulled him to his feet, painfully they figured from the way the man was screaming.

The man turned around and faced Silas and he snarled like a bear, he tried to bite Silas, but Silas pushed him back hard and he fell again. This time he met with the blade of Kronos' sword pointed at his neck.

"What name do you go by?" Kronos demanded to know.

The man wouldn't answer, he just stared up at Kronos, leaving them to wonder just what was going through his mind. Just the presence of this man was making Methos sick, he started to walk away when Kronos saw him through the corner of his eye and he screamed at Methos, "Sit down!" Methos turned and looked at him. "Don't make me tell you again," Kronos warned him.

Methos did as he was told and he dropped to the ground beside him, unfortunately he also dropped on Kronos' foot and Kronos fell on top of him. And while they were trying to get themselves out of that mess, the other Immortal decided to leave, unfortunately for him Silas was ready to strike, and he did, knocking the Immortal out cold. Kronos finally managed to get untangled from Methos, and he was not pleased. He got to his feet and he kicked Methos. "What is the matter with you? Can't you do anything right?"

Methos covered his head with his arms and he curled himself into a tight ball. "I'm sorry, Kronos," he said, almost too low to even be heard, "I'm sorry."

That had Kronos feeling about the size of a bug at that time. He told Silas to look for a place where they could stay for the night, and when Silas asked about the other Immortal, Kronos took a knife out of his belt and thrust it into the Immortal's chest.

"That should keep him in place for now," Kronos explained.

Silas nodded and took off to see if there was any land worth staying on over the night. Kronos went over to Methos who was still curled up, and shaking like a leaf.

"Did I hurt you, Methos?" Kronos asked.

Methos shook his head, but he didn't say anything, and he didn't dare look at Kronos. Kronos lowered himself so that he was now about the same height Methos was, and he gently placed his hands on Methos' back, and Methos started shaking even worse than before and he could hear Methos gasping and whimpering. He had a pretty good idea from that, just what Methos was expecting to happen, however beating Methos to a bloody mess was not something he had in mind for the day. Kronos turned Methos over to face him, Methos stilled himself the best he could and closed his eyes so he couldn't see what Kronos was going to do next. Kronos pulled Methos over to him until he was leaning against Kronos' chest. He held Methos with one hand and stroked his head with the other.

"It's okay, Methos, I'm not going to hurt you," Kronos soothed him, "I'm sorry for kicking you. Are you allright?"

Methos nodded; clearly he didn't trust himself to speak, again. Kronos looked around, they were in a shaded spot, and possibly one of the best places to be currently, so he laid Methos down there, and went to see if before they'd become a meal, the people of this village had anything worth taking. Surely they had to have stashed away something of some value, somewhere…all he'd have to do would be to find it.

* * *

All that Kronos could find was five water skins and just short of enough food to last the three of them through dinner, but it was better than nothing. However, as he returned to where he'd left Methos, he quickly saw a problem, both Methos, and the other Immortal were gone…and the knife that he'd thrust into the man's heart, lay where he should've been. His heart stopped and he now found himself right where he'd left them, and he panicked. He took off running and screaming Methos' name, never hearing a response, never feeling another Immortal. Finally, he came in contact with the presence of another Immortal, he saw them, Silas and Methos, he couldn't see the other Immortal but he didn't care. He ran directly towards them and stopped just a few inches short of colliding with them.

"Methos!" Kronos wanted to know what had happened, he demanded to know but he hadn't gotten enough air back in him to say much of anything.

"Kronos, whatever you do, don't get angry," Methos told him.

Kronos didn't like the way this was going. "What's happened?"

"Come with us," Silas said.

Kronos didn't see any choice, so he followed them, wondering just what it was they'd gone and done. He got that answer soon enough when they came to a stop and looked down. The Immortal that he'd left for dead, was now down in a ditch that he stood no chance of getting out of, and from the looks of it, he'd exhausted himself trying.

"And who did this?" Kronos asked.

"It was Methos' idea," Silas told him.

"Oh really?" Kronos turned to Methos.

"I decided this way," Methos explained, "We wouldn't have to worry about him trying to escape…or attack…because now he can't do either."

"What did you do?" Kronos asked.

"After you left, I went to find Silas, and I found that," he gestured to the ditch, "and I thought it would be a good place to put our guest. I decided he'd be easier to move alive than dead, so I took out the dagger and dragged him to his feet. Once he came back to life he started to put up a fight, and he tried to escape, but then we reached the hole and I just shoved him in."

"Silas, watch him for us a bit," Kronos said, "I'll be back."

Methos picked up on that and followed Kronos back the way they'd come, and for a while, Methos was worried that he'd done something wrong.

"Are you angry at me for something, Kronos?" he asked.

"I'm not angry," he replied without missing a beat, "I was worried. You were both gone and he had to be alive, I gathered that much, I didn't know what could've happened to you."

That surprised Methos. "You were worried about me?"

Now it was Kronos who seemed shocked by Methos response. "Just what do you take me for?" he asked, "Methos…you and Silas are the only people I can count on. You're like family to me…like brothers, and you especially I have to keep an eye on. You're doing much better than you were when we first found you, but you still have a long way to go until you can defend yourself." Methos tried to say something in response but Kronos cut him off. "Now what you did today was nothing short of astonishing. You really surprised me there, Methos," he laughed, "and I suppose you surprised yourself as well. Now you tell me something, just what made you think of dropping him down in that hole back there?"

Methos shrugged his shoulders, "I just thought incase he should recover while you and Silas were gone…he got lucky once already when he got you." Methos shook his head, "I couldn't let him do that, I – I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you. You said it yourself that I'm no good by myself, I can't fight that's worth a challenge. The only way I was able to kill him was because he was too busy with you to notice what was going on behind him."

"It was more than most would do," Kronos said, "I commend you on that, Brother."

Methos slightly cringed and he was thankful Kronos wasn't watching. "Brother" was something new for someone to call him, he wasn't too sure he liked it either.

"You're better than I expected, but you're not at your best yet," Kronos told him, "No matter, until that day comes, you have Silas and I, we'll fight the battles you can't for the time being. Then, one day when you've your full strength back, and you've gotten your body used to fighting with a sword again, then it's every man for himself. We fight for our own lives, and our brothers', that's the way it's been, and that's the way it always will be."

"That's good to know," Methos said.

Kronos could sense his uneasiness, and he laughed in spite of it all. "You don't have anything to worry about Methos, as long as you're with us, you're safe. Now come on, I think you'll like what I found."

"What?"

"Some of the village members had stored away some food and water, it'll get us through the night, but we must leave by morning."

"What about the other Immortal, Kronos? What do we do with him?"

"We'll think of something. Methos."

"Yes?"

"Are you still sorry that we gave Mary up?" Kronos asked.

"Yes," Methos replied, "but I'm glad she doesn't have to be near the prisoner."

* * *

Silas had found a place in the village that wasn't overrun with corpses and vultures and flies feeding on them. Kronos had found during his raid some furs and blankets in better condition than their own, and certainly suitable for use through the night. Kronos, Silas and Methos made short work of the food that hadn't gone rotten in the heat. It wasn't a problem that there wasn't much because once again, the heat had done nothing to help their appetites any, but plenty for their thirst. After they ate, Kronos and Silas discussed what to do with the prisoner, Methos was only half listening to them. The heat was really doing a job on him, in addition to him losing his appetite, he was also growing tired. He took a quick drink from one of the water skins, and shortly after that he was sound asleep. That was the first night in a long time that Methos was haunted by a nightmare, and this one was different from any he'd experienced before.

The prisoner had managed to crawl up out of the ditch and get his hands on a sword, and he ran Kronos through the chest with it clear out the back. The sword had pierced through the heart and with Kronos' chest wide open, the prisoner removed it entirely, the blood was everywhere. Kronos' corpse was soaked in it, the prisoner was covered in it, it stained the ground beneath them both.

* * *

Methos was deaf to his own screaming, but he became aware of someone else speaking to him, soothing him, gently holding him down and stroking his head. He opened his eyes and saw Kronos staring down at him, he was smiling at him, almost in relief it seemed.

"Well now Methos, if this is how you were before you were born, you must have been murder on your poor mother," Kronos said, lighthearted about the whole thing. Methos knew he was just doing it to get him to calm down, instead, his mouth dropped into a scowl and he looked away.

"What's the matter?" Kronos asked.

Methos wouldn't look at Kronos as he answered him. "I don't remember my mother. It's not that I don't remember her well, I don't remember her at all. I just…always remember being alone, nobody ever wanted me, they wouldn't even speak to me, everyone just ignored me…and just what I did that was _that_ awful I'd sure like to know."

Kronos didn't say anything for a minute, but Methos soon found he was in good company. "At least they had the decency to ignore you," he laughed, "they would take one look at me and they would say 'yeck' or sometimes 'fleck', and when they weren't doing that, they were beating me to the ground."

"And your mother?" Methos asked.

"They say I killed her." That got Methos' attention and he turned over to face Kronos. "Yes, that's right. During childbirth, she died having me, at least, that's the way I was always told. But now we're getting off base here…what happened? You must've heard yourself screaming, you were loud enough to wake the dead."

Methos groaned and turned over again.

"What's wrong?" Kronos asked.

Methos felt a hand on his wrist and he jerked it away. Where to begin? How _could_ he begin to tell Kronos about the nightmare? How could he possibly be expected to explain what he saw? Finally, he decided he had no choice, he had to start somewhere.

"I dreamt that…" he breathed in and tried again, "I dreamt that…" he wasn't sure he could do it. Getting the first of the words out was always the hardest thing to do, it never got any easier within time. "I saw your corpse…the blood was everywhere, and the prisoner…" Methos let out a short yell and scrambled to his feet, "the prisoner! He's…he's…"

Kronos grabbed him by the bottom of his tunic and yanked Methos back down to the ground. "Silas is watching the prisoner…in any case he couldn't possibly get out of that hole you put him in. You knew what you were doing when you threw him in, didn't you?"

Methos shook his head, "I don't know…I really don't know, I was just thinking…if he killed you…"

Kronos laughed and he placed his hands on the sides of Methos' face so he could look him straight in the eyes. "He's _not_ going to kill me, Brother, don't worry yourself over that."

He was surprised when he saw the tears building up in Methos' eyes. "What's wrong, Methos?"

"If you died, I don't know what I'd do," he sobbed, "You and Silas are the only reason I'm still alive."

Kronos took Methos in his arms and gently rocked him as if he were a small child, all the while murmuring soothing reassurances to him. After a while, Methos calmed down and he about fell back to sleep, Kronos laid him down and got up to leave, but Methos got right back up. "Where're you going?"

Kronos turned back around and explained, "I'm going to take over watching the prisoner, I'll send Silas to keep you company."

Methos wanted to ask him to stay but he couldn't. He didn't like the idea of Kronos being alone with the prisoner after what he'd just been through, but he couldn't very well tell Kronos that. So he stayed where he was and watched as Kronos left, he didn't remember falling asleep because he must've because he awoke when he felt someone touch his shoulder, and he shot up like he'd come out of another nightmare.

"What's the matter?" Silas asked.

Methos looked at their surroundings and realized he was safe for the moment, "nothing," he replied, "thank you for coming."

Silas sat down beside him. "You don't have to worry, Methos…we're not going to let anyone hurt you like that bastard did."

Methos was overcome by Silas' assurance and his honesty, nobody as far back as he could recall, had ever treated him as well as these two had. "Thank you, Silas," Methos felt he couldn't say it enough as long as he lived, "thank you."

Ever since they freed him from the chains that kept him tied to the ground, Methos had found a lot of disadvantages came with his freedom. He was haunted by the memories of what had happened to him, of what the people had done to him, and how they enjoyed their deeds at his expense. As if that hadn't been enough, he suffered greatly because of the memories. The nightmares weren't so bad, they were horrible in the beginning but after a while they came less and less until they just stopped coming. To Methos, the worst of it all was when the memories would become too much for him, and to release it all he broke down crying, like an infant, that was the worst. These men were his brothers now, they wanted a fighter, a warrior, an equal, not this, he hated himself for it and yet he couldn't stop himself, no matter how much he resented himself for being weak, nothing changed. It would only be a matter of time, he figured, before they grew tired of having to put up with him and they'd leave.

And here he was again, bawling like a baby and expecting at any moment to get a good kick in the ribs for it, but it never happened. Instead he felt Silas patting him on the head as if he were a dog, and one that wasn't in trouble for a change.

"How long, Silas?" he asked one he finally calmed himself down, "how long can you and Kronos put up with this until you decide you're better off without me?" When he received no answer, he continued, never once did he dare turn and look at Silas, he wasn't sure he wanted to see him after what he said. "I'm only holding the two of you back, you have to know that I'm slowing you down. Maybe you two would've been better off if you hadn't found me, or at least if you hadn't brought me with you."

He couldn't take the silence any longer, he turned to Silas to see why he hadn't answered, and Silas just looked at him as if he didn't have any idea what Methos had just said. Methos' heart was in his throat, any time now, it would be the moment of truth, and he'd finally hear what he was dreading.

"Silas?"

Silas just shook his head. "Never, we _aren't_ going to leave you. Kronos must have told you, you're our brother now. Kronos wouldn't leave his brothers."

"And you?" Methos asked.

Silas smiled though there didn't seem much reason to be happy, "I never had any brothers to leave before, I have no reason to start now. And you?"

Methos hung his head low. "No one ever wanted me. I never managed to do anything right for anyone to want to be near me."

It wasn't entirely the truth but it wasn't exactly a lie either, anyone who ever had wanted him before never kept him around for long. They either grew tired of him, or they saw him come back to life and couldn't comprehend what they saw, and banished him.

"Well neither did I," Silas replied, "but we're here now, and we don't go back on each other."

"Silas…do you think Kronos will be allright out there with the prisoner?" Methos asked.

"Of course he will," Silas answered, "you were smart there."

"What do you mean?"

"That hole you put him in…he's completely worn himself out trying to climb out of there."

"What are we going to do with him? Kronos says we're leaving in the morning."

Silas laughed, "Kronos has a way with dealing with people like that."

"What will he do?"

"I don't exactly know, but he'll see to it that the prisoner isn't a problem."

"I hope he can talk," Methos said, "we can't very well just call him 'the prisoner' forever, he must have a name."

"It's late," Silas said, "we'll be leaving early in the morning, go on to sleep, brother."

Methos knew he must've looked worried but he didn't say anything, clearly he didn't have to, Silas seemed to know what he was thinking.

"Don't worry, I'm staying here, so if you need me I'll be right here," he told him.

Methos smiled weakly, "thank you…brother."

Methos started shaking, the days were hot but the nights could be horribly cold. He caught the draft from something being dropped on him, and he realized it was one of the furs and he relaxed.

* * *

Come the morning, Methos didn't know exactly _what_ he'd done, but Kronos had done something to the prisoner last night. They pulled him out of the hole and he didn't make any move to attack or to leave, he just stared at them.

"What name do you go by?" Kronos asked for the second time.

For a while he didn't answer them, he just switched his gaze from Kronos to Silas to Methos and back to Kronos before he answered, "Caspian."

Kronos explained that there wasn't anything left in the village for him or any of them for that matter. They would take him with them but if he didn't follow their rules, Kronos made it clear that they would have no problem in killing him. Methos noticed more than Silas that in the beginning of it all, Caspian was more of a pet than a brother, but that changed within time. A lot of things changed with time, however Caspian's craving for human flesh was one thing that stayed, and for that reason, the other three Immortals watched him carefully for quite some time after that. What Methos saw of how Kronos dealt with him usually involved brute force and often resulted in him dying, but Methos knew that was nothing. Kronos had methods that he never showed or explained to anyone, and those, Methos was certain, were the ones he saved for once he and Silas had gone to sleep.

Although from the start it was easy to tell that Silas and Caspian did not get along and weren't fond of having to put up with each other. Their bickering soon became violent, but never too much, Kronos never allowed it to carry on too long or to get too bloody. All the same, whenever they started fighting, Methos made sure to stay as far away from them as possible, the last thing he wanted was to get tangled up in one of their feuds. During that time he stayed close to Kronos because that was about the safest place to be because he knew that no matter what happened in the fight, Silas and Caspian weren't stupid enough to try and attack near Kronos.

The days went on, and the days turned to weeks and the weeks to months, finally it had come about that almost a whole year had passed. During that year they'd gone through so many villages that they'd lost count, on several occasions they'd met with an unfortunate public death, and when they came back to life it got worse. They wouldn't settle for an execution, or being banished from the area, when the people sought to attack them then, they attacked first, they killed probably a hundred or so by that first year. By the time they finished with every place, they raided their homes and took anything they saw fit for the taking, and they would leave after that.

* * *

One night Kronos called them all to his tent, Methos didn't ask the others but the only thing he could think of was what they'd done wrong. Ordinarily Kronos never called them for much of anything, so the only thing that made sense is that something had to be wrong. They went in and saw Kronos pacing about in a circle, when he saw them he said nothing at first, he stopped the pacing and just stared at them.

"The four of us are part of a rare breed," he told them as he continued his pacing, "the four of us have rode together for nearly a year now, and not since have we come across any others like us." By that he meant Immortals, and they knew that. "Most like us kill each other, stranger or long time acquaintance, it makes no difference to them. As for the rest of the world, they either hate us or they fear us, trusting them is almost impossible, but the same goes for other Immortals. That leaves us basically to ourselves, but we have to rely on more than just ourselves, otherwise we would lose our minds from the isolation. The four of us came together, how exactly I don't know, but the fact remains that we did, and we moved on from there but we remained together. Before I decided upon anything, I had to be sure of you three, there could be no doubt to my mind of your loyalty. This past year I've watched you all closely, and in doing so have found each of you to be a true one of a kind. Unlike any Immortals I've encountered before in the past several hundred years, you're especially rare because you could be trusted. Now I'm convinced," he said, "the four of us can only count on each other. We are brothers now, we fight for our lives and those of each other, yes…we are brothers, and only death will end that."

"Kronos," Methos said.

"What?" Kronos asked as he furthered his pacing.

"Will you stop doing that? I'm not feeling well."

It took Kronos a minute to figure out that Methos was talking about his going about in circles, so he stopped. He removed his knife from his belt and walked over to them. "We are already brothers in arms," he said, "to further sanctify our loyalty to each other, we shall also become brothers in blood."

One by one they took turns slicing open the palms of their hands, and they collected the spilt blood in a small bowl so that the blood from all four men was collected into one mixed batch of blood. Methos was almost sick just from the sight of it, his blood mixed poured together with that of his "brothers". The whole idea was sickening to him, but he knew that Kronos spoke the truth, now they were brothers in everything except birth. A band of brothers is what they were, and Methos could already tell that Kronos had plans for them, and just what they would do when they rode out again.

When the blood ritual was finished, Kronos announced that they would leave in the morning so for them to return to their own tents. Methos was the last to leave, and clearly Kronos had plans for him anyway. "

"Methos, get back here," he called as Methos had almost left the tent.

Methos turned back around and wondered what he'd done. "But I was just…"

"Get over here, now."

Methos did, and wondered what would happen next.

"You don't seem quite yourself tonight, is something the matter?"

Methos shook his head, "No, Kronos, nothing."

Kronos laughed, "don't worry, you're not in any trouble. Now you tell me what's really going on in that head of yours."

Where to begin? Methos decided to just pick something and go with it. "It's a lot to consider, Kronos. I know you said long before now that we were brothers, but this pretty much seals it, it's just…"

"Just what?" Kronos asked.

"It's overwhelming, Kronos…that's what it is."

"That's just because it's something new to deal with," Kronos told him, "you'll see, within time it won't bother you at all."

"I never said it bothered me."

Methos wasn't far off from falling asleep and Kronos could see that. "You're just tired, Methos, once you get a chance to rest and clear your mind, you'll see the whole thing differently."

"Maybe," Methos turned to leave, "goodnight, Kronos."

He was pulled back when Kronos jerked on his wrist. "You're not going anywhere tonight."

"What?"

"You're too tired to get back to your own tent without falling asleep on the way," Kronos said, "you'll stay here for the night."

"But Kronos I…"

"You've done it before plenty of times, I wouldn't think you'd have a problem with it now," Kronos pushed Methos down onto the pile of furs and blankets and pulled off his boots. "Now go on to sleep."

"Kronos."

"What?" Kronos asked as he lay beside him.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing? The four of us brothers…"

"We'll manage…we've gotten this far without killing each other," Kronos told him, "now go to sleep, Methos."

Methos nodded and turned on his side and closed his eyes, he was too tired to do anything else.

* * *

Methos hadn't moved in some time and Kronos decided he was probably going to stay that way, so he slipped off of the bed and brought the covers up to his shoulders. He was about to slip out of the room for a while when he heard, "what happened?"

Kronos turned back around and saw Methos sitting up in the bed, and he explained, "you fell asleep…about an hour ago. I was going to let you rest."

"Kronos…are you sure I'm just here on a visit?" Methos asked.

"Of course, why?"

"Because the way I feel right now, I could probably be dead and I wouldn't even care," he said.

Kronos didn't believe him. "You're just tired, Methos."

"Yes…tired, tired of fighting just so I live another day, tired of hiding so I won't have to fight, tired of being a myth, tired of being an enigma, tired of people wanting my head just because I've lived so long. Maybe even tired of living, nothing good has come out of it for quite some time…of course you must know that by now."

"Life gets tired sometimes…have you considered dropping out of the picture for a few hundred years and starting over?"

"Oh no, not again…I tried that before already, and the last time it ended with Duncan MacLeod showing up on my doorstep, I do _not_ want the last two years to repeat themselves. I've gone through it enough times already…let's face it Kronos, I should've been dead long before now, and maybe it wouldn't have been such a bad thing."

"Tell me," Kronos said, "during the Quickening, did it knock something loose in your brain?"

"Don't patronize me, Kronos, I'm not in the mood," Methos replied. He'd been bitter with Kronos all night, now he was too tired to be bitter.

"Methos," Kronos placed his hands on Methos' face and dug his fingers into his cheeks so he'd have his attention. "Listen to me, Methos…you're too important to lose, don't you realize that?"

"What do you mean lose?" Methos asked, "You're already here, and I should've been here before now."

"I don't mean me," Kronos said, "or Silas or Caspian or any of us. I'm talking about that Scottish pain in the ass Duncan MacLeod, and that nosy friend of his, Joe Dawson, and how many others? How many people have you in their lives, and how many will? They need you back there more than anyone could need you here, Methos."

"What are you talking about?" Methos asked, "I'm no good to anyone, most of the people I've known, most of the _Immortals_ I've known, are dead, most of them because of me. I don't know – I don't know how many times I can go through that again…I've lost count of the people I've loved only for them to die because of me. Alexa died because I lost the Methuselah stone and couldn't make her Immortal, I lost my brothers because I was torn between you and MacLeod…"

"And MacLeod will die," Kronos cut him off.

Methos' eyes widened as far as possible. "What?"

"He needs you, Methos…his damn honor and pride and guilt and morals will get him killed if you don't help him. That's not just me talking, it's all drawn up."

"What? How?" Methos couldn't say anything coherent, he couldn't even think straight after hearing that.

"I can't flat out say," Kronos said, "something to do with fouling up the major scheme of things. That is to say if you find out the details now, it might mess up your chances of actually helping him. What I can tell you is that you have to stay close to that fool Highlander, he needs you around more than you know."

"He doesn't want me there," Methos told him, "after us…" he shook his head, "what _we_ did doesn't matter, it's what I've done that he can't forgive. I know it, he knows it, he can act like it doesn't matter, but I know it does. He can't accept what I was, and he won't acknowledge the fact that contrary to popular belief, I have changed. Why should I stick around that?"

"It wouldn't be the first time," Kronos said, "how many women did you keep going back to, even when they threw you out and threatened to kill you if you came back?"

"That was different."

"Yes, you never fought as long or hard for any of them, as you have for MacLeod. You know that he's like you."

"What's that?"

"You're both too important to lose."

"He is," Methos said.

"The both of you…I swear you two can be so much alike and you never even notice."

"Kronos, I think those psychiatrists missed something when they were looking you over," Methos said, "now just what in the bloody hell are you going on about?"

"I'm saying that MacLeod needs you know, about like we needed you 4,000 years ago," Kronos said.

By now Methos was positive that in death Kronos had lost whatever mind he had left. "What do you mean, like a brother?"

"Why not?" Kronos asked, "He's managed to go 400 years, that's good…but if he's going to stick around much longer than that, he's going to need some help."

"He has that already," Methos said.

"No…he has company, but he needs your help more than most," Kronos said, "you've lasted for 5,000 years and he has to get it through his thick head if he wants to last even a fraction of that amount of time, he can't always charge head on into every battle that his pride or his guilt ropes him into. You know that, Methos, I know it, but MacLeod doesn't know it and he won't accept _that_. That's why he needs you."

Methos still didn't get it, it just didn't make sense to him. "Why do you want him to live, Kronos?"

"Because he let you live. Cassandra would've killed you, the woman you loved, the woman _he_ loved. He couldn't deny her his help, but he made her spare your life." Methos opened his mouth but Kronos cut him off. "You are good at many things, especially considering all the years of experience you've had…but you can't lie to me, not now anyway. It doesn't matter, I knew from the beginning that you loved her, sure you could say she meant nothing to you, that she was no different from the rest, but I knew better."

"That was something that you seemed to do best," Methos said.

"Yes, I knew…but I suppose she was a nice change from just having the three of us for company. She had something of interest to offer that you certainly couldn't get with us." Kronos laughed, but Methos wasn't finding any humor in the conversation, in fact he didn't seem to be enjoying himself at all. "Now what's wrong?"

Methos looked him dead in the eyes. "MacLeod really needs me?"

Kronos grinned sinisterly, "Same old Methos, some things to you haven't changed in all this time. I know when you try to get out of saying what you're _really_ thinking. Now what is it?"

Methos couldn't face him for that, he looked down and avoided all eye contact with him. "About Cassandra…"

"Yes?"

"It wasn't so much about the sex."

"Oh of course not, I understand there is other stuff," Kronos said, "foreplay and passion and the sort. You forget in my time I was married twenty-one times, I _had_ to know about those things."

Methos laughed when he heard that, and he didn't stop until he couldn't breathe.

"Oh come on it can't be _that_ amusing can it?" Kronos asked.

"I'm sorry Kronos," Methos tried to sober up but he couldn't, and he was sure Kronos was getting tired of it, but he couldn't stop laughing, "I'm sorry."

"I don't really care, I'm just glad that you're feeling better. You know since you left MacLeod, you've been in so deep a depression, if you died we wouldn't take you here, you'd depress the deceased," Kronos told him.

"I still say you've lost your mind," Methos said as he rolled over onto the bed, "MacLeod doesn't need me. He never has."

"If I believed that I would have _had_ to have lost my mind," Kronos replied, "aren't you forgetting a few things?"

"Like what?" Methos asked.

"A woman named Kristen Gilles for one."

Methos turned to face him. "Are you saying she really would've killed him if I hadn't killed her first?"

"Then and there, that Dawson fellow would be closing up his report," Kronos told him.

Now that was a surprise to Methos, he figured that Kristen would've come back some years later and tried again, and then maybe have won

"And how about that Dark Quickening that highland pain in the ass took?" Kronos asked, "who got him out of that?" No answer. "And when those Watcher people were trying Dawson for treason, tried MacLeod at the same time, if one of them were found guilty, the other would be as well, and the penalty death."

"I didn't do anything there," Methos said.

"You helped keep both of them alive so they could finish what those peeping toms had started."

Methos blew that one off, there was nothing Kronos could say about that case to convince him he did anything. He'd tried to reason with the Watchers and failed, he tried to convince Duncan and Joe to go separate ways, failed, and when it was all through, he did what he did best, he took off.

"And," Kronos added, "I seem to recall this old goat of an Immortal…passed himself off as you, do you remember that?"

"Allright you made your point," Methos said, "so I came in handy before, what's left for me to do?"

"Plenty," Kronos answered, "but nothing that you need to worry about tonight. All you need to know for the time being is that regardless of what you think, MacLeod does need you, you're of more worth in staying with him and keeping him alive, than you could be here with us, who're already dead."

Methos didn't say anything, he didn't even seem to be paying much attention to Kronos. It seemed that he was in a daze or something of the sort.

"Are you allright?" Kronos asked.

"I'm fine, I was just thinking," Methos said.

"What about?"

"The old days…"

* * *

The nights had gotten hot and that made it almost impossible to sleep. Methos had taken to spending more time at night with Kronos at his tent. One night they'd drunk too much wine and by the end of his visit, Methos was too drunk to stand up for long, at which case he didn't have any choice but to stay with Kronos for the night.

Sometime in the night, Kronos woke up because he heard something. It was Methos, he was moving from side to side, trying to get comfortable, but the heat made it impossible. Another reason for it all was because Methos was having a nightmare, but the nightmare came to a halt when he felt someone grab him by the hair. He jerked back and felt the tip of the blade of a knife and he panicked.

"Just relax," Kronos told him, "trust me, Brother."

Methos stopped jerking around and felt the knife cut through his hair and he froze. Kronos hacked away at it until it went just below his neck, and what he'd cut he tossed away.

"There, now you shouldn't be as miserable in this heat."

Once it was over, Methos ran a hand through his now butchered hair and seemed rather ashamed by it, he refused to look up at Kronos and he tried to get himself into a ball, but Kronos grabbed him and held him so he could look him in the eyes, and not be talking to a lump.

"What's the matter?" Kronos asked.

"I'm sorry, Kronos," he said, sounding ashamed of himself now more than anything. "I…I know you were just trying to help…"

"Another painful memory," Kronos said. He wasn't guessing, he knew, and Methos didn't have to tell him that either. "That's allright, Methos, you don't have to tell me…"

"I'm sorry, Kronos…I thought I'd be over everything by now…what those people did to me."

"It's allright, Methos…you can't even remember how long you were chained up there, but it was long enough to do a fine amount of damage. It's going to take time to get over it all."

Something still bothered Methos deeply, he didn't tell Kronos anything of it, he wasn't sure he even could. All he could do was turn away from Kronos and cry, his past had stayed to haunt him for a good long while, and they both knew that it was far from over. After a while, Methos exhausted himself and fell asleep, Kronos moved him back onto the furs and blankets, they may have been hotter, but it was more comfortable than sleeping on the hard ground.

A while after that, Kronos started getting an idea, and the more thought he put into it, the more he became convinced that it would work. He grinned sinisterly even though no one saw it, and he laughed to himself as he rolled over next to Methos. Tomorrow night he would make sure his plan went into action, and until then, nobody, not even Methos his most trustworthy brother, would know anything about it. Sometimes he amazed even himself with his ideas.


	7. Chapter 7

After dinner, Methos grew tired and returned to his tent to sleep, a while later he felt the presence of another Immortal and realized someone was with him. He opened his eyes and even in the dying oil light he could tell who it was.

"Kronos, what's going on?" he asked.

"Get up," Kronos told him.

Methos got to his feet but Kronos wasn't patient tonight, he grabbed Methos' arm and jerked him along. In the dark, Methos couldn't see much of where he was going, much less what he was walking on and he tripped and fell to the ground. As he tried to get up, he felt something slip around his head and everything went darker.

"Kronos? What…" Methos wanted to ask just what he was doing, but Kronos locked a hand over his mouth to quiet him.

"Shut up," Kronos whispered in his ear, "we're getting out of here."

Methos wanted to ask about Silas and Caspian, but he didn't get that chance. Kronos wouldn't let him talk and he couldn't see where they were going, but after a while, Kronos was out of his reach, and the next thing he knew, he was being jerked up onto one of the horses.

"Hold on and don't loosen your grip, no matter what," Kronos said, "I'll let you know when we get there."

"Get where?" Methos asked.

"Shut up."

Methos took that as a warning and he did. He had no idea just how long they were gone, or how far they had gone, all he knew was just as he was about to give up figuring anything out, they came to a sudden stop.

"Are we here now?" Methos asked.

"Yes we're here now." Kronos turned around and removed the rag he'd tied over Methos' eyes. "Are you allright?"

"I'd feel better if I knew where we were," Methos told him.

Kronos helped him down and had him look around while he tied up the horse. "You really don't remember this place?"

"No I most certainly do NOT remember it," Methos replied, "I'm tired, I'm sore, I'm in no mood for games, Kronos, where are we?"

"Methos!"

That voice, he recognized that voice! Methos turned around and saw…no, it couldn't be…could it? Yes it was, it was Mary, a year older and about half a foot taller, but it was her allright! He turned back to Kronos and muttered a half coherent insult, and from what Kronos could make of it, it had something to do with him being a jellyfish son of someone with a bestiality interest.

"Not in front of the girl," Kronos scolded.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Methos asked.

"And ruin the fun? You must know me better than that."

"Methos!" Mary came up to them, "I didn't think you'd come back."

"Well," Kronos said, "we aren't for long, we just thought we'd come and visit for a while."

Mary threw her arms around Methos and hugged the man she hadn't seen in almost a year, and when she let go of him, she just looked at Kronos and offered her hand. "Kronos…"

He laughed once and picked her up and swung her around a couple of times. "I guess I deserved as much, I have been a real ass about this," he said.

"For a whole year?" she asked.

"I know, I'm sorry…you deserved better than that."

"Yes."

"If I asked for forgiveness would I get it?" Kronos asked.

"No."

"I didn't think so."

She grinned. "I didn't mean it, Kronos, yes you have it."

"Good."

He set her down and a frown formed on her face as her eyes looked about. "Where's Silas? Why didn't he come too?"

Methos didn't know how to respond to that, but he didn't need to, Kronos answered. "He'll be along soon, but I had to get Methos here first, he's gone light in the head missing you."

"And you?" she asked.

"I missed you more than I could say, but of the three of us, it's Methos who's missed you the worst of all."

"Then why didn't you come before?" Mary asked.

Kronos smirked, "I'll tell you why when you're older…so where are you and Alexandria living?"

"Over there," she pointed.

Methos scowled. "A tavern?"

"It's not as bad inside as it looks out here," Mary told him.

"I should hope not, I remember once when…"

Kronos' foot met with the back of Methos' leg. "Not in front of the girl," he told him.

"Kronos," Mary said, "Silas doesn't know I'm here, does he?"

"To be honest," Kronos responded, "he speaks of you every day, he just never knew where to find you, otherwise you believe me he would've been here long before now."

They followed Mary into the tavern and Methos was both surprised and relieved to see the place empty. He'd been around long enough that he knew just how things went once a man had put away too much wine and got demanding, and that was the last thing Mary and Alexandria needed. Oh yes Alexandria had promised them that Mary would be well taken care of, however Methos also knew that there were many things beyond their control, and the last thing these people needed was another Sodom and Gomorrah taking place. Yes he had been present at that disaster, and contrary to popular belief, it wasn't just young men who were used as catamites, no, many young children also fell victim to a bunch of drunken men as well. Now he knew that her father had done a fine amount of damage to her, to what detail he didn't know and he wouldn't ask, but he knew that until she died, he was going to see to it that nobody hurt Mary again.

* * *

It was a while after that, Mary had reintroduced them to Alexandria, and also introduced them to several members of her family, and they spent the rest of that time catching one another up on what everyone else had been doing in the past year. Kronos quickly came up with a convincing tale of them going into battle and coming out alive, which was more than could be said for the enemies. After that, sparing everyone the bloody details, he told them about finding Caspian and his joining them, and without bringing up their raids he also caught them up on what had happened over the past year. Although the tales were plenty exciting, there was something to them that Alexandria just couldn't figure out.

"You won the battle, but you still can't take her back to live with you? Don't misunderstand, I love having her as a daughter, but if she could be with her real family…"

"We can't do that," Kronos said, "I'm sure you understand that four men trying to raise a little girl…that's just not fair to her, she needs someone like a mother."

"I understand that, but you're her uncles, she needs to be around you too."

"Well it took a while, but we're here," Kronos explained, "and we might not be able to stay for long, but we'll come back again."

Methos listened to Kronos talk for a while, but the more he carried on, the harder it got for Methos to stay awake, suddenly his eyes burnt and his eyelids felt heavy, until finally he was too tired to resist and he just fell asleep.

He woke up alone.

_He left me,_ was the first thought that came to mind, _Kronos left me, that's why he didn't bring Silas with us._

Methos tried to think of some reason that would explain just _why_ Kronos would leave. The only thing he could come up with was that Kronos must have grown tired of him, or he must've decided that Methos wasn't good enough to be a brother among the rest of them.

_Or maybe_, he thought, _this is what I get because I've missed Mary._

"Methos?"

He almost jumped at the mention of his name and he turned and saw Mary standing by his bed.

"What's going on?" he asked, "Is something wrong?"

"If you're wondering where Kronos is…he left."

"I thought so."

"He'll be back," she told him, as if she knew what he was thinking.

Methos turned over in the bed and didn't say anything, he was sure it was just wishful thinking, even coming from her.

"He went to get Silas," she said.

Now that he hadn't expected, he turned back around. "Are you sure?"

"That's what he said, and he's never lied to me before, so why would he now?" she asked.

Methos supposed she was right, when she was in their care, Kronos wasn't reliable for much, but at least he never lied to her. Even with that in mind, he wasn't going to be able to rest until he saw it for himself, and that was a while away.

"Methos?"

"Yes?"

"Would you like me to stay with you until he comes back?"

Methos didn't know what to say, Mary was young and still had a long ways ahead of her but she was both smart and old for her age, and that was something that Methos hoped would keep her alive for a long while. As just a child she would be easy for just about anyone to get their hands on, once she grew up…_if_ she grew up then it would become another story.

"Yes…it's been a long time."

"I know…but you're here now."

"Yes…I can't say for how long, though."

"So how's Silas been, really?"

"Oh he's doing allright…Mary."

"Yes?"

"You know how we told Alexandria that we're your uncles?"

"Yes."

"Well going with that…you have a 4th one now, his name's Caspian, although I don't know if you'll be meeting him."

"Why not?"

"He's…" and just how could he tell her what he was? "He's not well, there's something wrong with his brain, we've had to watch him quite closely for a long time to make sure he doesn't do anything to anyone. It's been almost a year and he seems to have changed, but I don't want to take a chance on anything happening to you, understand?"

"Yes…Methos?"

"What?"

"If he gets worse again, are you going to kill him?"

Now that wasn't something he expected. "What?"

"That's usually what they do to people when there's something wrong with their mind," she said.

True. "I don't know, I don't think so…only time will tell."

As would only time tell whether Kronos would return or not.

* * *

Methos awoke to several people yelling at the same time. It took a few minutes to figure out just what was going on, but he quickly came to identify two of the voices, and he leaped out of the bed. Kronos had returned and true to his word, he'd brought Silas with him. He ran to the main room of the tavern and quickly found himself in a tight hold that Silas was becoming well known for.

"Hello Silas," he croaked.

"Methos."

Silas put him down and Methos stepped over towards Kronos, and he didn't know anything to say to him, so he just looked, he wanted to make sure that this wasn't just a dream, that he wasn't going to just wake up and be alone. Kronos could sense something wrong and he turned to Alexandria.

"Alex, is there a room here where Methos and I could be alone?" he asked.

"Yes, it's right over there," she pointed towards the back.

"Thank you, come on, Methos, let's find out what's going through that head of yours now."

They left Silas to speak to the women and once in the back room, Kronos closed the door and it drowned out some of the sound.

"Allright, Methos, what's going on?" he asked. Methos didn't answer, he just continued staring. "Really, Methos, have I gotten that interesting to look at?"

"I just want to make sure," Methos said.

"Make sure of what?"

"That you're really here."

"What?"

"I don't want to find out that this has been a dream."

Kronos looked surprised. "Methos, are you really that afraid of being alone?"

He hated saying it but he felt he must say it or go crazy. "Yes, I know that's nothing you want to hear from someone you consider your brother, but I am Kronos, I am…"

Methos turned away so he wouldn't have to see how Kronos had taken his reaction. He expected Kronos to be angry, he expected to be banished from the camp, he expected Kronos to disown him as a brother. He almost jumped out of his skin when he felt Kronos' hand grip his shoulder.

"Methos, I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"I didn't want you to find out, but apparently I can't do anything else."

Kronos grabbed both his shoulders and turned him around and held him close. "It's allright, Methos, as long as I'm alive you don't have to worry about being alone."

Methos was both shocked and relieved, he was also grateful but didn't trust himself to say so, so he said nothing. Somehow it seemed he didn't have to, Kronos seemed to already know.

"Kronos…"

"Yes?"

Methos pulled away from the brotherly embrace. "I'm not angry, but I want to know why you left without telling me, when I woke up…"

"That's just it, Methos…you fell asleep and never woke up, not even when we moved you to the bed. Of course that's my fault for dragging you out of bed anyway, but I wanted to leave without Silas and Caspian following. Then once you were asleep, I didn't think you'd wake up until morning and by then we would've returned. I didn't know you'd wake up alone…"

"Oh I wasn't alone, Mary was there…it's a good thing you told her what you were up to, otherwise I would have been certain that you left me."

"I'm sorry, Methos…really I am. But you have to believe me when I say that I won't leave you…you're my brother and nothing's going to change that, understand?"

"Yes."

"Good…are you feeling better now?"

Methos nodded.

"Good…do you feel like going back out front and visiting?"

Methos shook his head.

"Me either…I didn't get any sleep last night in between getting you here, going back and getting Silas, and from the looks of you I'm not guessing you slept too well last night either…let's go back to our room, see if we can get some sleep and we'll visit later."

Methos nodded again.

* * *

They ended up staying a week and it was time well spent considering there was a year's time to make up for. As they left they vowed to return again, hopefully in less time than it took for this visit to occur.

"I wonder what Caspian makes of us being gone so long," Methos said.

"It's only been seven days," Kronos reminded him.

"But for a year we've never been separated for a day at the most," Methos replied.

"If I know him like I think I do," Kronos said, "then he's probably taken quite the advantage of our absence, nobody to tell him who to let go and who not to eat."

_Now there's something I didn't need to think about,_ Methos thought to himself.

As it turned out, Kronos was right, when they returned they found about a dozen half-eaten corpses all over the grounds. Only thing that _really_ made it odd was that they were all missing their heads.

"They couldn't all have been Immortals, could they?" Methos asked.

Kronos shook his head. "There aren't enough of us around, especially not for there to be this many in such a short amount of time. We'll have to find him to see just what's happened here."

They did and in doing so, they found out what had happened to the heads, by now they were just skulls and he was stacking them all together in a pile.

"Seems you've been busy while we were gone," Kronos said, "do I even want to know what this is?"

"You could say that we had some visitors," Caspian replied. It wasn't much of an answer, but that was about all they'd get out of him.

Methos stood next to Silas and said only loud enough for the two of them to hear. "The things he does makes me _really_ glad we didn't take him with us."

Silas just nodded. Methos had told Mary that there was something wrong with Caspian, and even if they'd brought him to prove it she probably would've become like the 'visitors' before she could even see him.

* * *

Time passed, days became weeks and months and years, and as the years went by, many things happened. Kronos was becoming more cautious about trusting mortals, Silas and Caspian had never really gotten along well to begin with but they ordinarily managed to keep their distance from each other. Now they were getting crosser with each other more and more often, a few times Methos looked for one to behead the other, but Kronos always stepped in and broke up the fighting. Methos, he was starting to become less dependant on Kronos always being around, and he was glad for it, since Kronos had gotten into the habit of taking off some days and not coming back until dark or even the next day. He never really explained where he went, and they knew better than to ask. They also kept their word to Mary, and went a few times each year to visit, and over those years she grew from a strong, lovable child to a young woman who had a promising life ahead of her.

"Do you think her mother looked like she does now?" Methos asked.

"Now don't get disgusting," Kronos replied.

"I don't mean that old, I mean do you think her mother looked anything like her?" Methos asked.

"Well…you saw her father longer than we did, does she look like him?" Kronos asked.

"No."

"Has she ever looked like him?"

"No."

"Then she must look like her mother," Kronos said, "mustn't she?"

"I would think so."

"…and you still think her father killed her?"

"Yes I do…can't prove it but I don't believe anything else could've happened."

"I think you're right," Kronos said, "but, now all that matters is that he's dead, Mary's alive and she's with someone who can take care of her."

By now, Mary was 17 years old, and nearly Kronos' height, and about as strong as him as well, she also possessed speed and agility near Methos', and given that, they expected her to live longer than most. In that time she had aged and matured a great deal while they stayed the same, but ten years for an adult wasn't long and ordinarily didn't call for that much aging, so they had thus far no need to explain to her that they were different. During one visit, Methos decided he had to tell Mary something that he'd been keeping from her since they met.

"I think I can honestly say that this has been quite an unusual ten years for us," he said, "first Kronos and Silas get me loose, then we find you and take you with us. But we couldn't keep you because it's too dangerous, so we had to find someone else to take care of you, so now you're living with Alex and her family, and we still get to come and see you. We never can stay for long, but we always manage to find a way to come, and I'm glad. I'll never have any children of my own, but you're like a daughter to me, and I can't tell you how much I enjoy that, and if anyone ever asks, all they'll hear from me is 'that's my daughter'."

"I'm glad to hear that," Mary said, "you've been more of a father to me than my father ever was. I loved my mother and nobody can replace her, but I'm thankful to be with Alex, she can't replace my mother but she is my family now. And my father…he never cared about either of us, so I can't really think of him as a father, but you, Methos, you I could. Even if you're not here for most of the time, in the time that you have been, you're cared more about me than my father did for the whole first seven years of my life."

Methos didn't tell Mary or anyone else, but he was looking into being able to stay with Mary for more than a week at a time. He figured maybe they could find a way to be closer to them so they could be with Mary more often.

He never got the chance.

* * *

Kronos had gone off early one night, no word of where he was going, nor when he would return. This was not something new and they all had grown used to it. However, that didn't help Methos' undying feeling that something was wrong with his brother. There was no point in trying to follow, Kronos could be anywhere, so as much as he dreaded the idea of it, he would just have to stay at the camp and wait until morning and hope Kronos was allright.

He didn't remember falling asleep, but he awoke with a start when an Immortal's presence hit him. Methos quickly and quietly got up and left his tent and found Kronos, returned and covered in blood, and Methos' heart instantly stopped.

"Kronos, what happened?"

Kronos wouldn't face him and didn't give him a direct answer, but he kept murmuring what sounded like "don't".

"What did they do to you?" Methos asked, "are you allright?"

Kronos was starting to make it clear that he didn't want to explain anything, but Methos wasn't about to give up. Something had happened to his brother and he was determined to find out what, and who had to die. He followed Kronos over to his tent, still asking questions despite Kronos' warning.

"Kronos," Methos grabbed his arm to keep him from walking away, "We're brothers aren't we? You said yourself that we were, and you said that we fight for ourselves and our brother's lives, now you have to tell me what happened."

That was the last straw for Kronos, he grabbed Methos' arm so he couldn't get away and hit him in the face so hard it broke his nose and knocked him unconscious.

"I told you not to ask and you didn't listen," Kronos said, "maybe now you'll do as I say."

* * *

Methos awoke in a pile of his own blood and felt everything had been restored back in the proper place in his face. It took him a few minutes to figure out where he was, and once he remembered he was in Kronos' tent, he also remembered what had happened that he was there. He heard Kronos before he saw him, and it sounded like he was choking, Methos got up and saw him over at one corner of the tent, with his back turned to him.

"Kronos?"

He hadn't really expected Kronos to answer, but what he heard came off to him as a half choked sob. Methos went over to him to see what was the matter.

"Kronos…" Kronos didn't move or make any sound at all, and Methos placed his hand on Kronos' back to get his attention. In an instant, Kronos jumped to his feet and turned around and grabbed Methos' arm again. The tent was still lit by an oil lamp and Methos got a good look at Kronos, the blood had dried and stuck to his skin now, his eyes red and his face a mask of horror at what he'd done. He fell to the ground and kept his head low, refusing to make eye contact with Methos.

"Methos," his voice was strained as if he'd been crying a long time, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit you, I didn't want to…" he shook his head, he couldn't even explain why he hit him. "I've no right to ask you but I am, can you possibly forgive me?"

Methos recognized the tone in Kronos' voice, he believed he'd used a similar one himself, in it you could hear the person speaking give up all hope, they expected nothing in response to their pleading. At that instant, there was no way to tell what went through his mind, other than he truly believed that this man who was his brother, wouldn't hurt him again. He moved closer to Kronos and lifted him from the ground and held him close in a brotherly embrace. Kronos it seemed, didn't have the strength to return it, he buried his face in Methos' shoulder and cried and repeated, "I'm sorry."

By now Methos was trying with all his strength not to start crying as well. He tightened his hold on Kronos and said, "it's allright, Kronos…I forgive you…"

"I'm sorry, Methos…I didn't want to…I…I…oh God, what have I done?"

A question came to Methos' mind in the midst of it all. "Kronos…"

"Methos…please…" Kronos seemed to pull himself together only long enough to tell him, "Methos, promise me you won't ask me again…what happened tonight. You're better off if you don't know…I was there, I saw everything, I can't tell you who they were, or what they've done. Methos, please…"

"Allright, Kronos, I won't…" Methos swore.

Neither said anything after that, Methos held Kronos until they both wore out and fell asleep. Sometime in the night, Methos woke up when he heard something, and he soon found out it was Kronos, exactly how deep in his sleep he was, Methos didn't know, but he was talking in his sleep. Methos couldn't make most of it out but he listened closely, and his heart stopped at what he was able to hear.

"…so young……didn't deserve it……gone…gone forever…"

Methos' heart broke when he heard it and he fell back to the ground. Kronos wouldn't tell him what happened, or how it happened, but Methos knew all he needed to know about what had happened.

Mary was dead.

* * *

Morning came and through the night, Methos honestly couldn't remember if he cried. His heart broke when he heard, but he honestly didn't know if he felt anything after that, he felt numb. He felt dead except he was still breathing, a curse on him. Immortality was a curse time and again whenever a loved one died, he wanted to die along with them but it never happened. Maybe…

His thoughts were cut off when he felt something cold and wet touch him, his eyes opened and he started to get up when a familiar hand pushed him back down.

"Take it easy," Kronos said.

His mind was going in several different directions, his eyes noticed a water basin on the ground near them and a wet cloth from one of their old shirts in Kronos' hand…washing the blood off of Methos.

The blood, the blood from last night, from when Kronos hit him…he remembered that Kronos too was covered in blood, how that happened he didn't know and Kronos wouldn't tell. All the details from last night were vague, except for one…

"Mary…"

Methos was surprised to actually hear himself say it, Kronos was a bit surprised but looked as if he'd been expecting it.

"I'm sorry, Methos…I was going to tell you this morning…she…"

"I don't want to hear, Kronos…please…"

Methos tried to roll over so he wouldn't have to face him, but Kronos kept him on his back as he went back to scrubbing the blood off.

"I'm sorry about last night," Kronos told him, "you wanted an explanation and maybe you deserve it…but I can't bring myself to say what happened, so please, Methos, don't ask me again…you're better not knowing."

As much as it hurt Methos not to know, he knew that Kronos wouldn't do this to him if he didn't have a reason for it. So he agreed, he wouldn't ask Kronos again.

"Does Silas know?" Methos asked.

"Not yet…I'll tell him," Kronos said, "Methos…"

"Yes?"

"She……she loved you…very much and…she knew that you loved her…at least you had that much…"

"What?"

"So many times mortals, and even Immortals die before people can tell them that they love them…and they have that following them the rest of their days. At least she knew you loved her."

"And you?"

"…I loved her as if she were a daughter, so it can probably be said that I loved her as you did, maybe as much as you did as well…I don't know if she knew before, but at least I was able to tell her before she died…"

"I'm sorry…"

"No, Methos, I'm sorry…I should've…I…"

"Don't…" Methos cried, it pained him to say it but he forced himself to talk, "please, Kronos, don't…I can't go through that again…last night, Kronos…it about killed me seeing you in that much pain…please…"

Now Methos knew that he was grieving for the first time since he'd found out about Mary. He was convinced that it couldn't be hurting this much if he'd done it before, he was grieving for Mary, she deserved better than this, to die so young, and for Kronos, who had to witness it all, and it being so horrible that he couldn't bring himself to repeat what had happened.

Methos became aware that two arms were wrapping around him and Kronos held him close and let him grieve.

"Soon, Methos…we'll leave…there's nothing left here for us to stay…anybody that we stayed for, they're dead…now there's too much here to haunt us, in time we'll leave and start over where there's nothing tied in with what we've been through. It's better that we do…"

Methos was only paying half attention to what Kronos was saying, another part of him couldn't believe that any of this was happening, and another part of him wanted to die then and there, and another part became aware that another Immortal was heading their way.

Silas had heard the noise and came to see what had happened, Methos didn't dare look up, he wasn't sure he even had the strength. While Kronos and Silas exchanged no words, Silas must've gotten some idea of what had happened, for he left shortly after that without saying anything.

After a while, Methos calmed down and Kronos laid him down on the bed and covered him up, it was unusually cold that morning. Methos looked up at him, he wanted to ask Kronos to stay with him, he felt he would slip away, beneath the ground and out of life, if he were alone, but he couldn't bring himself to ask Kronos.

"I'm going to tell Silas what happened," he told Methos, "I'll be back soon…try to rest, Methos, I know it's hard but you must."

Methos slowly nodded as he felt another tear run from his eye and down his face. "I'll try…"

Kronos left and Methos hoped to fall into a deep sleep that he wouldn't wake from. However, any hope of that was quickly destroyed when he felt an Immortal enter the tent, and he could tell that it wasn't Kronos.

"So what's this?" Caspian asked.

"Go away, Caspian," Methos groaned, "I'm not well."

"Obviously…I knew you wouldn't last long."

"What?" That got Methos' attention.

"You're not really one of us, you could never be, you're too weak. I knew that you'd go soft one of these days, and when you did, Kronos would get tired of you…"

Methos felt sick and as if he didn't have the strength to get up, but he wished Caspian was down near him so he could kill him.

"And you've gone and done it…getting yourself sick and for what, a mortal…" he laughed, "I knew from the beginning that you were stupid but this only further proves it."

Methos turned on his side and swung to hit Caspian but he got out of the way.

"Not only have you gone soft but you're slow now too…the things you go through for a damned mortal, knowing they'll die anyway but like the idiot you are, you let yourself get attached…They live and die in no time at all, but we last forever, which is why only we stick together. You going out of your mind over a damn child, one you should've killed in the beginning. How Kronos ever took you as a brother I'll never know."

Methos was sick and knew he couldn't do anything to Caspian to make him regret what he'd said, so with all his strength he could gather, he screamed as loud as he could, in a voice he didn't recognize as his own, "Kronos!"

Kronos came running with Silas right behind him, unfortunately Caspian hadn't moved from where he stood when he first came in and Kronos crashed into him and Silas behind him and the three of them fell to the floor.

"Get him out of here!" Methos cried, "Kronos, did you hear what he said? Kronos did you hear him?"

Caspian, still without a regret to what he'd done, had managed to slip out of the tent, but Silas followed after him to make sure he didn't come back to bother Methos.

"Kronos what he said…the things he said about Mary…"

"Shhh…" Kronos held Methos close to him and tried to soothe him. "Methos, you have to remember, Caspian doesn't know about Mary like we do, he wasn't there when she was with us…you also have to remember that what he was when we found him. A beast that needed to be tamed, and so far it seemed to be working, however enough time has passed that I think I'll need to go over it with him again…and this time it's going to stay with him."

"What're you going to do?" Methos asked.

Kronos smiled with a trace of evil surrounding it. "Don't you worry, my dear brother, you leave that to me. I tamed that beast once before, I can do it again and make it stick this time."

In all his time, Methos never really looked back and thought about it, but it was right around that time that the brotherhood changed. After that, the relationship between the four of them started to become quite a dark one.


	8. Chapter 8

Kronos wanted to leave soon, but it wouldn't be an easy task. Methos was reluctant to leave, for most of the days that followed, he scarcely left Kronos' bed. He just wanted to be left alone, he slept for most of the day, and in that time he wouldn't eat anything, and Kronos couldn't get him to drink much either. It went without saying if he kept at it, he would die a short and painful death, and return to a painful life, however that seemed to be what Methos wanted to happen. When Mary was killed, it killed a part of him as well, now he possessed less of a reason for wanting to live. His Brothers, well, they would always be around so long as they were able to fight better than any enemy, but Mary, he knew from the start that her time would be considerably short compared to theirs, but still he had hoped she would live longer than she had. He swore to himself, if he ever found the man responsible…

And that idea stopped there, for a terrifying thought came to mind. Kronos wanted nothing to bring up what had happened, and he wasn't too particular when he said who was responsible for Mary's death. Although such an idea had to be impossible, Methos started to ponder if perhaps Kronos didn't want to bring up what had happened, because maybe he had something to do with Mary dying. On one side of it, Methos couldn't imagine Kronos doing such a thing, but that's not to say that it was something he had intended to do. The more he thought about it, it made more sense that he'd want less to speak of it again if by some chance he had a part in her death. All the same, he just couldn't believe that his brother could be capable of murdering an innocent, helpless child.

"Are you okay?"

The sudden realization that Kronos was with him was about enough to scare Methos out of his skin. He shot up in the bed and was murmuring incoherently because he was too shocked to scream. The next thing he knew, Kronos had him pinned down to the bed again, trying to calm him down.

"What is it, Methos, are you allright?" he asked.

He finally stopped resisting Kronos' grip and leaned back against the furs of the bed, and he slowly nodded. "I'm sorry, I don't know what happened."

"It's allright," Kronos said, "how are you feeling now?"

"The same," Methos replied, "though I don't suppose it would do me any good to ask you to take my head."

"No," Kronos answered, "what would give you an idea like that?"

"Because," Methos replied, "I don't know that I'm ever going to be any better than this. It doesn't matter what you say, you couldn't possibly want a brother like I am now."

"It's allright, Methos, you just need to rest. In time things will be better, you'll see."

"I hope you're right, Kronos, but I honestly don't think it'll do any good."

"Just go to sleep, Methos. I'm heading out, but I'll have Silas come by and keep you company while I'm gone."

"Thank you."

It wasn't long after Kronos had left the tent that Methos felt another Immortal enter, he wouldn't look, but he was certain it was Silas. After it had been found out what Caspian had said regarding Mary, Kronos had kept him away for a few days, where he was being kept, and what Kronos did to him when he went to see him, neither he nor Silas knew. They decided it was probably best that they didn't know either, Kronos had a few techniques for his idea of 'taming' a person, methods that they had both gotten a brief glance of, and decided they didn't need to know the rest.

"Methos."

Methos smiled to himself, "Silas…"

He heard his brother come closer, until he stopped right behind him. Silas didn't say anything at first, there was no sense in asking how Methos was, the fact that he wanted to die was well known between the brothers by now.

"You miss her, don't you, brother?" Silas asked.

"Don't you?"

"Of course…but it seems to hurt you more."

Methos laid his head lower to the ground and squeezed his eyes shut. "She was so young…she was just an infant."

"Death knows no age, my brother," Silas told him.

"And Caspian," the very mention of his name made Methos' blood boil, "to hear him speak about her as a waste of our time, and us as if we were fools because we loved her…"

"Don't worry," Silas replied, "Kronos will take care of him, and if he doesn't…" Methos could just see the grin that spread on Silas' face, "I will."

Methos wanted to talk about something else, but he didn't know too many other things to bring up. "When does Kronos want to leave?"

"As soon as you're ready to ride again," Silas told him, "he says he won't risk you while you're ill."

That made Methos want to laugh, Silas wasn't much younger than he or Kronos, but it seemed he still hadn't fully grasped the fact that they couldn't get sick.

"I'm not ill, Silas," he said.

"In body no, but because you're ill inside you're making yourself weak, you don't eat, you won't drink, you stay in bed all day and all night…Kronos is getting worried."

That surprised him. "He's worried…about me?"

"You must know that he is…what kind of brother would he be if he wasn't?" Silas asked, "he wants you to get better."

Methos could understand that, a part of him wanted the same thing, but another part wouldn't let it happen. And as far as that part of him was concerned, he could just stay in the bed until he died, which he estimated wasn't too far off.

"If she could see you now, brother," Silas said, "it would break her heart to see you torture yourself."

"But she can't see me," Methos replied, "and we can't see her, and we won't, never again. What hurts the most, Silas, is that I wasn't there to see her, to talk with her, or even to hold her, for one last time before she died, Kronos was at least that fortunate."

"How fortunate was it to actually be there when she died? To hold her body as her spirit left? I don't think he's anymore fortunate than you since you didn't have to see the slaughter," Silas told him.

There wasn't much arguing there. He supposed once you got down to it, he and Kronos were equally fortunate and misfortunate, but for different reasons. It still didn't help, Kronos had at least the chance to say goodbye, to tell her he loved her, Methos would never have that chance, and it killed him.

* * *

Kronos had come back shortly before the sun started to set, he tried to get Methos to eat but failed, and he could only get enough water down his throat for him to cough most of it back up again.

"How long, Methos?" Kronos asked, "how long are you going to keep punishing yourself? You had nothing to do with her death and you know it."

"Maybe if I'd gone with you, she'd still be alive."

"I knew it would happen sooner or later," Kronos said, "you've gone crazy, Methos, you couldn't have known that I'd be going to see her. I didn't even know it when I left, it just happened. I know you loved her but she wouldn't want you to do this to yourself over her."

"Maybe not, but I haven't got the strength, or the desire anymore for what awaits me out there," Methos said, "for all I care I can just stay right here and die."

"And if you keep starving yourself," Kronos replied, "it'll happen a lot sooner than you think."

Methos turned over so he didn't have to look at Kronos, he was right but Methos didn't care, as far as he was concerned, there wasn't anything in the world that was going to get him out of bed. After a minute he felt two hands, one on his back, and the other wrapped around the back of his arm.

"Kronos?"

"It's okay, Methos, just go to sleep…"

Sleep, that was something that Methos had gotten quite well at doing the last few days, and he could certainly do it again.

* * *

Methos awoke and saw two wide eyes staring down at him, for a minute he didn't think they had any face to them, just two eyes hanging in the air looking down at him. Then his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the night, and the dim light from the oil lamp, and recognized the face hovering above him as Kronos.

"What's the matter?" Methos asked.

"Nightmare," Kronos answered.

"Yours?" Methos asked.

Kronos shook his head and lightly poked Methos in the stomach. "Yours, you were making quite a racket, what was it?"

"I don't know, I don't remember even having a…" Methos fell back and stared at the top of the tent for a while. His eyes took on a blank look and Kronos was starting to get worried, he gently shook Methos to make sure he was still there.

"It was Mary," Methos said at last, "she was in the dream. She was…Kronos, where did you bury her?"

"Why?" Kronos asked.

"I have to go see her," Methos said, "I have to see her grave, I need to talk to her." For the first time in days, he was actually anxious to get moving, he scrambled out from under the blankets and moved on top of Kronos, and had him by the neck of his tunic as he continued to babble about what he needed to do.

"Allright," Kronos pushed back the animal furs that covered them and helped Methos to his feet. "We'll be off and back before morning, Silas won't need to know where we're going for that short amount of time."

* * *

Kronos pulled on the reins for the horse to stop, when it did, Methos got off first, Kronos tied the horse up and they both looked around. The place was in ruins, the tavern had been burnt to the ground, several corpses lay about the land, their blood run dry long ago and now stained the sand near black. The bodies were no longer intact, the flesh torn off, bones broken off and into pieces spread all over the land. The sight was enough to make Methos cringe, made his stomach threaten to reject anything that hadn't been digested yet, even though that was near impossible.

"They're still here?" Methos asked.

"Only the ones that deserve it are buried," Kronos told him, "the rest I left for the vultures."

"Where…where is she?" Methos asked.

Kronos pointed up a ways, Methos looked and saw a fresh grave with the dirt placed back over it, and the hilt of a sword sticking out through the top.

"Her grave?" Methos asked.

"Her sword as well," Kronos added.

That surprised Methos, he'd seen Mary do plenty of things, but he'd never seen her with a sword, he didn't even know she ever knew how to use one. Then again, it had been a while since he'd been out to visit her, he supposed during that time she could have learned. And now here he was again, here to speak to her, even if she weren't there exactly, he had to tell her in death, and there was no going back.

"Kronos…"

"I'll leave you two alone," Kronos told him, "you know where to find me when you're ready to leave."

"Thank you, Brother," Methos' eyes never left the grave, he felt he couldn't face Kronos just yet.

He heard Kronos turn and walk off until finally he couldn't even feel him, then he decided it was safe to talk. Methos headed closer towards the grave, stopping just a couple feet short of the recently used dirt.

Where to begin, he couldn't think, for a while he just walked back and forth and thought he wouldn't be able to get any word out, but finally something gave.

"I'm sorry, Mary," he started, "I really thought you'd be safer with Alexandria than with us. I wish I'd brought you back with us, then this wouldn't have happened." He was finding it harder to talk, harder to think of what to tell her, and harder to even breathe any air in to keep talking. "Oh God, I didn't want this to happen, Mary, I thought once we got you away from your father, that would be the worst of it, but I didn't think you'd get caught in an attack like this." His body started shaking and his legs collapsed and he fell on his knees, the grave right below him, the sword right ahead of him. He made no attempt to get up, he buried his face in his hands and cried for the loss of his daughter, she had so much ahead of her and she had died so young, it tore apart his heart so much he wanted to lie down and die right there.

How much time he spent lying atop of the grave, mourning for the angel he'd never get to see again, and wishing someone would come and take his head, he couldn't determine how long he'd been at it. It must have been quite some time however, because the next thing he knew, he heard someone approaching, and then he felt the person come.

Kronos could tell that Methos was in no mood, or condition to be moved from where he was, but he wasn't about to leave him, so he knelt down and laid beside Methos and wrapped a protective arm around his back and held him close to him as he wept. Methos had stayed at the grave longer than he expected, and he began to worry, when he came and Methos didn't acknowledge his presence, then he knew he had reason to worry. What he was going through, Kronos guessed every Immortal did at some time in life, they wanted to die and wouldn't do anything to intervene if the opportunity came. However, Methos was his brother, in arms and blood and everything but birth, and while he wouldn't, or perhaps couldn't fight for his life right now and possessed no desire to, Kronos would protect him, and for the time, guard Methos with his life. Once they got back to camp, there wouldn't be so much to worry about, but now it was just the two of them against whoever may come their way.

Nobody did, but Kronos kept guard the entire time, and after a while, Methos finally settled down, into sleep. Kronos moved to get up but felt a hand grab his wrist the instant he moved. Methos wasn't exactly awake, or asleep, he seemed to be caught in between the two, he looked at Kronos with eyes almost completely shut, and begged him, "don't leave me, please…"

Kronos smiled sadly as he got his wrist loose and squeezed Methos' hand reassuringly, "I won't, Methos, I swear, now go back to sleep."

Methos weakly nodded and closed his eyes and laid down again, lightly moaning, Kronos guessed it was done in place of his crying, he'd done so much of that lately that he probably couldn't anymore. Kronos slipped one arm under Methos and around his stomach, and the other across his shoulders and held his brother close as he waited for him to fully succumb to sleep. That didn't take long, and after Methos did, Kronos followed shortly after.

* * *

The night was cold and the winds were blowing hard, the noise was enough to wake the dead, but it wasn't that Methos woke from. Amidst the howling winds he heard something low, something familiar, something, impossible.

"Methos."

Methos' eyes snapped open at the mention of his name, and the voice that called him. He sat up and looked around, but saw nobody and decided he was dreaming, so he laid back down and closed his eyes.

"Methos."

Now that time he knew he wasn't dreaming, he got up again and looked around again, and saw nothing, again.

"Methos."

He was getting tired of this and he looked around again, and this time he fell back at what he saw. Mary, a pale glow surrounding her body, came out of nowhere and was coming towards him. He noticed but paid little attention to the fact that her feet weren't even on the ground, she just seemed to be floating towards him. She was dressed in a large white tunic that fit her more like a robe, and for a minute Methos was sure he'd either fallen asleep and was dreaming, or had lost his mind.

"Hello, Methos, it's good to see you again," Mary said.

Now he knew he'd lost his mind. Mary came up to him and she knelt down beside him and took his hand in hers, and Methos felt a solid grip.

"Mary…" the sight of her, looking as beautiful as the last time he saw her, was about enough to send him over the edge. His vision of her became blurred as his eyes filled with tears once again.

"No you don't," she scolded him gently, as she always had since she was a child. The tears fell from his eyes and down his face, she brushed them away and looked him in the eyes. "You've done enough crying for me already, Methos, you've cried enough in the last few days to flood the desert."

"Mary…oh God," Methos drew back and sobbed, he couldn't believe this was happening.

Mary tore a small piece of cloth off of her robe and dabbed at Methos' eyes with it. "Methos, what are you grieving for? You knew this would happen sooner or later."

"It never makes it easier," Methos replied, "I didn't know that it would happen like this, otherwise I would've taken you with me, I could've protected you…"

Mary shook her head, "No you couldn't, it wouldn't have done any good, I'd still be dead and then you'd be cursing yourself that I was right there and you still couldn't protect me. Now, I may be dead, but I'm fine, at least I will be."

"What do you mean?" Methos asked.

"I've been watching you, Methos, since the night of my death, I've watched you, and I've seen what you've been doing to yourself. That's why I had you come out here, I needed to let you know that I'm allright, and you don't have to mourn for me. The sooner you can get back to your old life, the sooner I can enjoy what's at the end of mine."

"It shouldn't have happened this way," Methos said, the pain clear as day in his eyes.

"You can't control who lives or who dies, Methos, or when or how they die, all you can do is go on with your life after it happens," Mary told him, "I'll be fine, as soon as you are. Kronos wants you to move on to new places, go with him, it'll be good for you."

"You really think so?" Methos asked.

"I don't think anything anymore, I know so," Mary replied.

Methos looked away, "it's just that I feel terrible for leaving you."

Mary seemed to be as alive as she ever was, no matter how terrible things had gone, she always smiled for him. "Methos, I think that idiot Caspian's been playing with your mind and winning. You're not leaving me, I'll always be with you, don't you know that? Really, Methos, as smart a man as you are, I'd think you'd know better than this. Listen," she became quieter and seated herself next to him, "when you arrived, you saw the corpses out there?"

"Yes," Methos answered.

"Did you take notice of their clothes, their armor? Remember what they look like, you'll come across more, and they'll try to do to you what they did to me," she told him, "they know about people like you, they'd have no problem taking your heads."

This was all coming at Methos too fast for him to fully comprehend what was going on, all he really did understand at the time was that Mary was there, maybe not alive, but as solid as he, and that was good enough for him for now. He knew she'd be leaving soon, and he dreaded hearing those words, he thought he'd rather die than hear them.

"Mary," he had to say something to ask of her, and if he didn't do it while he had the chance he'd never forgive himself. "I can touch you…you're as real as you were in life, after tonight I might not see you again until my own death. Kronos told me that he held you when you died, to hold you again, one last time, I thought I'd lost the chance forever." By now his voice was so low, and so weak he hardly recognized it as his own, and he couldn't even remember thinking the next words before he said them. "Please, Mary…let me hold you one more time before you leave me."

Mary smiled at him and she wrapped her arms around him. "I won't leave you, Methos, but I will give you that."

Methos wanted to stay right where he was, just like this, for eternity, but he knew it wasn't possible. He knew that Mary would be gone soon, and he wanted to just watch her until she did, he wanted to talk to her, to tell her how much he loved her, but he hadn't the strength. With her in his arms, he laid down and quickly and quietly fell asleep.

* * *

Methos woke up and saw the sky above still dark but turning a sliver lighter. It was early morning, and he then remembered where he was, at Mary's grave. She was gone, and despite what she may have promised him last night, in a way from there on she would always be gone, but for some reason now, knowing the fact didn't hurt as much as it had previously. It was then that Methos became aware of a strong arm wrapped around his stomach, he turned his head and saw Kronos, still asleep, and even in sleep, still very protective of his brother. Unfortunately, a bit too protective, the hold was too tight and made his current position very uncomfortable. He started squirming and writhing to turn around, and when he finally did he kicked Kronos hard and that woke him up.

"What is it? Are you allright? What happened?"

Once he was fully awake, Methos told Kronos of what he had seen last night, and for a while wondered if he had only been dreaming.

"Well I wouldn't put it past Mary if she did decide to show up, after all, this is her grave, her spirit probably stays close to the body's burial, and you know how stubborn she was in life, why should dying have changed that for her?" Kronos asked.

It was all still a bit too much for Methos to put together, and still he wondered if he'd only seen things, but then Kronos noticed something.

"What happened to your arm?"

Methos looked to see what he was talking about. There tied on his right arm was the piece of cloth Mary had torn from her robe, Methos examined it closer, it was the same piece, it even smelled of her. In fact it contained a strong scent of her, and that was all the proof he needed to know what he saw was real.

"Kronos, this is hers, she ripped a piece off of her robe last night…take a look for yourself," Methos shoved the cloth right under Kronos' nose, he too picked up the scent.

"Well then that proves it," Kronos said, "she was here, it wasn't a dream."

Anything either of them might've said after that was cut off when they heard something, people, a lot of them from the sounds of it, coming their way. They got up and looked, and Methos saw men on horseback, they were still a ways off but he could tell they were dressed exactly like the corpses.

"That's the other thing, Kronos," Methos said, "Mary told me more of those warriors would be coming, and she said they know about Immortals!"

"Well then we just have to kill them first, don't we?" Kronos asked.

Methos looked back and noticed about fifteen of them arriving, and wondered just how well they'd do. Kronos had brought both of their swords and they each had their knives in their belts. For a moment Methos thought they could get through all of the men without much damage, but then, it hit him, an Immortal was riding among them, and a strong one judging by his Quickening. Kronos sensed the fear that paralyzed him, and he placed a hand on Methos' shoulder and said to him reassuringly, "Don't worry, Brother, if he gets lucky, I'll take his head before he can take yours."

Methos slowly nodded though he wasn't paying much attention. He couldn't focus on much of anything, except that these men were the same kind of men that killed Mary, because of them, he lost his angel, his daughter, and now they had to die, and that thought sent him into a blind rage. After that, he couldn't remember much what happened, thinking back he only saw bits and pieces of it as it happened. With his knife he got one warrior in the heart, another across the throat, another he stabbed in the shoulder so he couldn't fight, but then he found his neck only a matter of inches from the other Immortal's sword. Methos dropped to the ground and drew his own, he hadn't used it, not even for practice in the longest time, but it didn't matter, he only knew that he had to win the fight. If he thought about it hard enough, he could recall the other Immortal getting off his horse, and Methos charged at him so fast he was nearly on him before the man had both feet on the ground. First Methos struck him with his sword in the stomach, then through the heart, and just before he died, he made the final swing that took his head.

The Quickening he didn't remember too much of, what he did recall however aside from feeling like he was burning, was seeing all the people, mortal and Immortal alike, that the opponent had killed, seeing them on their knees, begging for mercy, only to be slaughtered like animals seconds later. Then it was over and he fell to the ground, he hadn't any strength to get up, barely any to move. He felt as if he'd been set on fire, his entire body burned from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet, and all he had the strength to do was cry.

Kronos had seen plenty of Quickenings and had taken plenty himself, but he'd never seen anything like what Methos had just gone through, and he could only think of one reason why it seemed so much worse on him than it should've been. Simply because it had been a long time since Methos had taken another head, it's the only thing that made sense. The oncoming presence of two other Immortals hit him, and clearly it had a worse effect on Methos, his cries became louder and sounded as if he was being tortured to death. Kronos looked to see the new arrivals and saw the first good news of the day.

"It's only Silas and Caspian, Methos, it's allright."

But Methos paid him no attention, all he could focus on was the continuous burning sensation surging throughout his entire body, then to make it worse he felt several hands on his body which only increased the heat and the pain, and then, everything went black.

* * *

Methos woke up alone, and for the most of it, out of pain. He tried to remember where he was, or how he'd even gotten there. Looking around, he slowly came to the realization that it was Kronos' tent, he tried to think of when he'd gotten back here, but he couldn't remember. The last thing he did remember was right after the Quickening when Silas and Caspian came. Now they were gone, too far away for him to feel them, although he doubted they would take off while he was unconscious. Stretching and looking down at the rest of himself, he saw he'd been stripped down to just his tunic…and the piece of Mary's robe tied to his arm still.

The day was warm but Methos felt warmer, he didn't quite feel like he was on fire anymore, but he did feel like he'd been burnt. He could almost place the method of burning as well, he ran his hand over his arm, yes, it all felt quite familiar, in fact he…

No, no! He'd come this far, he wasn't going to let himself be haunted by what that bastard had done to him, or what he let people do to him. But the very idea of it all made him tense, he felt he had to get up, he had to leave, he had to do something or he would lose his mind.

* * *

Methos found from experience the river to be rather deep, certainly deep enough to drop off in and drown. He was laid out several feet under the water and he looked up and saw Kronos diving in after him, and going by the look on his face, all was not well. He grabbed Methos with one hand gripping his, and his other arm around Methos' back, and pulled him up to the surface, and once he was able to talk, he did.

"What are you doing!" Kronos asked, "Are you trying to drown yourself? A fine thing, I put you down to sleep, I come back and what do I find you doing? Bathing! That's what!"

Before Methos could respond, Kronos picked him up once again, this time with one arm behind his back, the other around his tail end as if he were a small child, and carried him out of the water. Once they were both out, he carried Methos back to his tent and dumped him on the bed while he looked to find where Methos had pitched his clothes.

"Now, are you going to tell me what that was about, or do I have to guess?" Kronos asked as he threw Methos his clothes.

Methos grabbed his tunic and slipped into it. "Kronos, after that Quickening, my entire body felt as if I'd been set afire, every part of me burned and the pain wouldn't stop. It hurt to move at all but I couldn't just stay here, so I pulled myself out to the river hoping the cold water would stop the burning…it was horrible."

"He was a strong one," Kronos said, "and you have gone without taking a head for far too long to be allright after a Quickening like that. How long has it been for you?"

He couldn't remember, he could only guess. "Probably around forty years or more."

Kronos couldn't believe what he'd heard, he found it harder to believe that Methos could go so long without even picking up a sword, and then relearn it all taking like a fish to water. That's a real fighter, he figured, they never forget how to fight, no matter how long they were away from it.

"I want you to rest, Methos," he said.

"That seems to be about all I do now," he replied.

"That Quickening's already taken a good part out of you, I want you to lay down and rest and I don't want to hear another word about it," Kronos said.

Methos realized he must've been tired, it wasn't until after Kronos left that he realized during their conversation that Kronos was tying something on his arm. It was the piece from Mary's robe, her scent in it as strong as ever. Perhaps because of it, he still felt she was close by, even though he knew it was impossible, although…

He laid down on the bed again and cried, Mary was nothing short of an angel, she had been a wonderful daughter and he would miss her, as he knew Kronos and Silas would too. However, after actually seeing her last night and getting to speak with her, the pain wasn't so great now, and Methos actually thought he stood a chance of resting now without being torn by the memory of losing her.

"I'll miss you, Mary," he said.

He hadn't really expected anyone to hear, but out nowhere he felt a hand grip his arm firmly for a few seconds, as if a signal that everything was allright for once. With that, he fell into a deep and for the first in a long time, peaceful sleep.

* * *

They loaded up their horses and left before the sun came up the next morning, they wouldn't return and they wouldn't be settling anywhere for a while. The places they had lived in before held no interest to them now, too many memories to haunt them, they were searching for new land, where they could be left alone, but also nearby a well populated town, reasons unknown at the time. It was a fresh start for the four brothers, but as they soon found out, nothing good ever lasted long. 


	9. Chapter 9

Methos opened his eyes and the first realization he came to was that he felt horrible. He tried to recall the night's events, for that matter he tried to recall where he was. Then it all came back to him, he, Kronos, Caspian and Silas had been on new grounds for the past month, maybe more. For the most of it they kept to themselves, there wasn't much of anything to take from anybody, also nobody giving them any trouble, so they had no reason to attack anybody. It was a tired atmosphere but a nice change of pace opposite their lives before they had arrived.

And tonight…Methos had to think, tonight had been a celebration, it had been a bad year for the people in the village. The crops had all but failed and people clung to a thread of hope that they would improve, finally they had, the plants grew tall and strong, and produced large, thick food perfect for picking. A celebration was to be held for the crops' success, and while the four brothers were newcomers and had only arrived when the picking was nearly completed, they had been invited since they were now neighbors to the village, and not choosing to come off as suspicious so soon, they had accepted and went. It hadn't been a bad time, good music, plenty of dancing, a lot of pretty ladies, although the part Methos was particularly fond of was the wine.

Now that Methos thought of it, it probably wasn't wise to drink as much as he had, but he thought about it again and he remembered the last batch he'd drunk had tasted a bit odd, not necessarily sour but not as the rest had. At first he just thought it was a different bunch of grapes used for it, but now he was starting to think someone had added something to his. He remembered asking the others if their wine was allright, it was. And now that his head was clearer, Methos confirmed what he wondered just before, someone had put something in his wine, and it was to his guess, it was the same person who had dragged him away from the area. Looking around he didn't recognize his current surroundings, it was dark and deserted, and he was laying on the ground. He tried to get up, but only to discover his hands had been tied together above his head.

He was still a bit light in the head from the wine, but his head was clear enough to know that he couldn't sense his brothers anywhere, and he wondered exactly how far away from them he was. In the moonlight he could make out someone coming his way, but he couldn't make out anything about them, be it man or woman, friend or enemy, rescuer or executioner. All he could tell was that it was a mortal, so he was at least that fortunate.

"Finally alone, I'm glad."

That was a man's voice, not any man he knew but a man all the same. Methos got a better look at him close up, he'd never met the man before, hardly even saw him during the celebration that night.

Methos knew exactly what it was he had to say, he just could form the words and give an actual voice to them though he tried. "Wha…what's going on? What do you…"

The man's face twisted into an evil grin, and suddenly, Methos was fearing for his life. The man got down to his knees and covered Methos' body with his own.

"Comfortable, lover?"

Those words made Methos feel as if he were shrinking with fear.

"I've noticed you for quite a while, you always kept a distance and pretended not to notice, but I could tell you were wanting this just as much as I was, just the two of us, together, away from the rest. I'm aware that there are better positions to wake up in, but I wanted to make sure you didn't run off playing hard to get and have me trying to catch you all night."

Oh that did it, Methos didn't care if he was tied down, he wanted this man off of him right now. His feet hadn't been tied up, so he kicked the man, and he fell back, but it didn't seem to have much effect on him.

"Ooh you are a feisty one, aren't you?" He grinned again, "That's good, that's just how I like them. However," he reached over and picked up something, when he raised it Methos identified it as a knife, "It'll be a lot less painful if you make it easier on yourself and stay still."

He saw the knife come down, and closed his eyes after that, he expected it to rip into his skin, but it didn't, only at his clothes was all the further the man drove the knife in. He then heard a rip as the man tore his way through the rest of it and pulled the torn garments off of him. The man stuck the blade in the ground and stood up to remove his own clothes. Methos' mind was filled with panic, he had to get away from this man, mortal or not, that wouldn't stop him from doing much of anything, and anything and everything seemed about what he had in mind.

As if the answer to a prayer, Methos felt it, his brothers had come looking for him, he knew it…he heard Kronos' voice, it was low but he knew it was him. The man didn't notice anyone approaching and started removing his boots. Methos knew this was his only chance to get away before something happened, if he could hear Kronos then he assumed Kronos would hear him just as well. Fighting back the panic that threatened to tear into his voice, he gathered up all his strength and all his courage, and yelled as loud as he could, praying it would be enough, "KRONOS! HELP!"

It may only have taken a few seconds, but so far as Methos was concerned, it couldn't have happened quickly enough. Kronos was the first to come into Methos' sight. He could tell Kronos had only a split second to decide whether to first kill the man or to get to Methos. He sided with the latter and ran around him, but Silas came up right behind him and he knocked the man to the ground. As soon as Kronos got in a close enough view to see for a fact that he was real and not a dream, Methos cried and screamed and yelled, all incoherently, all out of terror of what would have happened, and relief that his brother was here now.

Kronos cut the ropes that bound his hands, and wrapped him in the blanket that he'd been placed on, and carried him back to their tent and laid him down on the bed, he cried and shook and screamed and carried on. He felt his skin burn where the man had touched him, even if it were impossible, he also felt he couldn't be still or quiet, or he would go completely mad. He felt a pair of strong arms hold him and he fought and yelled and tried to break loose. Even once he recognized the man as Kronos, his own brother in blood, he continued as sort of a reflex response.

"It's allright, Methos, I've got you now, you're allright, calm down…"

It took a few minutes for Methos to realize he wasn't in any danger, and as relieved as he was to be away from the man, now he felt ashamed for letting happen what did. So far as Methos was concerned, he'd left his slave years behind him, now he was strong enough to fight for himself and he had, and to him there wasn't anything worse than being captured by a mortal. He felt certain Kronos was disgusted of him for his weakness, but craved his brother's embrace more than anything, and feared if he let go, Kronos would disappear from his life forever. He turned around to face him and couldn't stand the look in Kronos' eyes, it was hard, cold, unforgiving, but Methos couldn't let go of him. Instead he clung to Kronos, his nails digging into the skin on Kronos' back, and buried his face in his brother's shoulder.

He expected at any moment to be pushed away, cursed and damned, but instead, he felt Kronos' hands find their way to the back of his head and neck and Kronos held close to his brother.

"It's allright, Methos, it's over, he's dead, he can't hurt you again," Kronos assured him.

Methos felt he must either scream or go mad, he screamed and cried and called his brother's name and tried to find some way to explain what had happened.

"Oh God, Kronos!" he cried, "he…he wanted…he did something to me, he put something…in the wine…"

"In all of ours," Kronos cut him off, "That's why it took us so long to find you. Whatever he put in yours he put in ours as well, but apparently he used more in yours to make sure you didn't draw any attention when he took you with him."

"He thought I…that I…he thought I wanted it…"

_And did you? _He expected Kronos to ask, but he didn't

"He was out of his head," Kronos told him, "but it doesn't matter now because he's dead. Methos, what _did_ he do to you?"

"Nothing, nothing!" Methos cried, "I heard you coming and screamed before he could do anything."

"There's at least that," Kronos said, "I don't think any of his past victims were so fortunate. We went looking for him and found a few others at his home…what's left of them anyway."

Methos was certain he was going to be sick. He didn't even want to think of what the man would've done to him, especially after finding out he couldn't die, he'd had that done to him enough times already.

Kronos laid him down on the bed to rest, he returned a minute later with a cup of water, he placed one hand behind Methos' head and raised it enough for him to drink, the first bunch went down wrong and Methos wound up coughing it back up on both of them. They tried again and this time it went down smoothly.

"Are you feeling better now?" Kronos asked.

Methos barely nodded his head, as if he didn't have the strength to do even that. "A little…but I still feel…"

"What?" Kronos asked, "Feel like what?"

"Like a catamite, like a damned catamite, that's what," Methos told him.

"Isn't that just the damnedest thing?" Kronos asked, "When it's the victim who feels they did something wrong, instead of the attacker."

"_I_ didn't do anything wrong," Methos said.

"I know you didn't," Kronos responded.

"I didn't…I didn't do anything…I didn't do anything wrong…" Methos kept that up for a while, and Kronos realized it wouldn't do any good to try and talk to him, it seemed Methos wouldn't hear him, or couldn't. "I didn't do anything…I didn't…" he stopped for a second and then let out a scream so loud and animalistic that Kronos was terrified. In all his life he had never heard a howl like that belonging to any sort of human, beasts yes, people, never…he especially wouldn't expect it from Methos. The scream died in his throat a few seconds later, replaced with gut wrenching sobbing and Methos' whole body convulsing in Kronos' arms.

"What is it, Methos? What's the matter?" Kronos was desperate to get through to him to help him.

"I am," Methos got out over his sobbing, "I am a catamite, Kronos, I am…I'm a whore!"

Kronos was convinced that Methos had gone crazy now, and worried that he might not find a way back from it.

"Methos calm down, that's not true."

"Yes it is! That's all I am, all I have been…that's how I stayed alive."

"Methos, listen to me," Kronos shook Methos to get his attention, "what that bastard did to you couldn't be helped, he had you chained up and starved, you couldn't fight to save your life."

"No, Kronos…before that…before he found me…it was after I left a village where they wanted to burn me alive, they saw me die and return to life, tried to send me back to Hell. I got out of there, and when I finally got away, somebody found me…he wanted to kill me, he knew how…he would've taken my head, but instead…" Kronos didn't think Methos had the strength to continue, but he did. "He decided he'd rather keep me around so long as I pleased him, and I did…when he grew tired of me, he sold me to that bastard. He assured him I was good at many things, and he decided to find out what all they were…"

"Calm down, Methos, it's allright…you really think you're the only one who's ever done what he had to just to stay alive?"

"You too, Kronos?" Methos was genuinely shocked.

"And Caspian…although what anyone would see in him, I'll never know," Kronos replied. "Methos, something we all have in common, before we became Immortal none of us wanted to die early if we could help it. Becoming Immortal didn't change that, we still want to survive, and to do that we've all had to sacrifice ourselves in one way or another, all for the sake of keeping our heads. It's never anything we're proud of, but certainly nothing to be ashamed of, if you want to live, you either have to just survive, or kill those who would kill you."

And that's exactly what happened, Kronos said the man was dead, Silas must've killed him.

"It doesn't change the fact, I still feel like a whore," Methos said.

"I know the feeling quite well," Kronos replied, "It'll pass…if you let it."

Methos leaned into Kronos and hoped for sleep to come soon, he just wanted this night to be over.

"Methos."

"Hmm?" Methos looked up.

Kronos placed his hands on the sides of Methos' face and placed a chaste kiss on his forehead, then on his cheek. "You're my brother and I love you, and I'll protect you with my life. As long as I can help it, nobody's going to hurt you anymore, you know that don't you?"

_I do now_, Methos thought, _I suppose I always have_. "Yes."

"Good." Kronos set Methos back until he was balanced in the knelt position he was in, and he got up.

"Where're you going?" Methos asked.

"I'm just going to get your other clothes, it tends to get cold at night and I don't think you want to spend it quite like that."

Methos looked down and realized he was still naked, just covered in the blanket, and he suddenly became disgusted with himself. It didn't matter what Kronos said, he still felt like a whore, and he had an idea he'd feel that way for quite some time.

Kronos came back with another tunic and helped Methos slip into it, he was too tired to do much of anything by himself. Kronos basically took over dressing him after that, and put on everything except his boots and returned to bed, and he laid Methos down with him, and held his brother close as they both started drifting into sleep.

"Kronos," Methos however felt he must say one more thing before sleep took him.

"Hmm?" Kronos drowsily murmured.

"…I love you too, Brother…"

* * *

Methos didn't get out of bed the next day, he didn't want anyone saying anything to him. The only person he was comfortable talking to about what had happened, was Kronos, and Kronos knew everything there was to know. Kronos had left earlier in the day but promised Methos he would return later, how much later, he didn't say, he never said how long he would be gone, and it always left Methos to wonder when, or if, Kronos would return. That in mind, all he wanted to do was sleep, he couldn't directly worry about it if he were asleep.

He wasn't asleep long when he felt another Immortal nearby, and he heard him enter the tent. Methos opened his eyes and turned around and saw Caspian next to him.

"Get out," he hissed, "get out Caspian or I'll kill you, don't think I wouldn't."

Caspian's mouth twisted into a sinister grin, one that had Methos reaching for his knife and ready to stab him at any second.

"Relax," Caspian told him, "I didn't come here to start any battles with you."

"You didn't have to, your very presence is enough for that," Methos replied.

"I just came to let you know, if you want to come out, you can, nobody's going to bother you."

For a minute, Methos wasn't sure he believed him, he had no reason _to_ believe him in the first place.

"What's the matter, Caspian? Run out of insults to hurl at me? Or don't you have any more?"

"Not this time," he replied, "not about this."

Suddenly Methos didn't have the strength to hold onto the knife, he dropped it as if someone had broken the bones in his wrist. "Caspian…Kronos told me last night that you…had been in the same…the same…how many times?"

"Enough," Caspian answered.

As much as he hated continuing, Methos realized he couldn't stop himself halfway, he'd simply have to continue until he was finished. "And did you ever…forget it?"

"I don't recall what was done, or rather _how_ it was done if that's what you mean," Caspian replied, "Perhaps too much time just passed to remember."

Too much time, and how much would that have to be? Caspian was so far as they knew the youngest of the four, what was too much time for him to clearly remember something? Methos was the oldest of them, and if there was a thing as too much time to remember something, it passed him up, he remembered all the grim details of what was done to him, what he had endured, the humiliation, the fear, the everyday fact that he did as someone else pleased just so he could live, if it could be called that.

Methos was starting to wish that Kronos was there, he was starting to get that feeling again. Sometimes, he had made the discovery, when you've been a whore, and it continues to haunt you what you've done, you start to feel the hands of all the masters and the customers on you, touching you, groping you, taking what they declared theirs, leaving you feeling like the dirt they pin you down in. Kronos also it seemed, never experienced a period of 'too much time' to forget what was done to him, that's why, Methos gathered, he had stayed with Methos until he had calmed down, they knew each other's pain well.

Caspian turned to leave the tent and Methos asked before he was out, "Did Kronos say anything when he left?"

"No."

That was all the convincing he needed, Methos was certain if Kronos did return, it wouldn't be for him. Silas and Caspian yes, Kronos needed equals, _real_ brothers who could fight their own battles, not someone like him. He'd counted the days, days turned to months and months to years, ten years, for ten years he'd been with Kronos, and for a good part of that ten years, it had been exactly like this, ten years of crying like a damned infant and clinging to Kronos for solace and protection. Enough was enough and Kronos shouldn't have had to put up with it for so long, and the more that Methos thought about it, the more he realized Kronos had probably decided he wouldn't be putting up with it anymore. Methos really didn't know what he was going to do, as much as he cursed himself for being weak and depending on Kronos to be with him for so long, he was terrified by the idea of Kronos leaving him.

It was then that he heard Silas and Caspian talking outside, he listened for a while and gathered that they must've thought he was still asleep because they were talking about him.

"You would think by now," Caspian was saying, "that he would be able to get it through his head that Kronos is going to come back, he always does."

"It's easy for you to say," Silas replied, "Because you don't care if you're alone…but Methos can't be left alone, he wouldn't survive if he was, he needs to be with people he can trust, and Kronos he trusts the most. One thing he remembers most is anyone he trusted before turned on him, they abandoned him, and he's worried Kronos will do the same."

"And what are we, animal intestines?" Caspian asked, "how about that bastard from last night that we got rid of? Where's gratitude for that?"

"Methos doesn't know you killed him because Kronos brought him back while he was still alive," Silas replied.

The rest of Silas' explanation fell on death ears to Methos…Caspian had killed the man, not Silas…he had thought for sure…he had seen…what had he seen? Silas throwing the man to the ground, but he was still alive the last he saw of him…perhaps, Methos thought, they had split the work down the middle, Silas held him down, Caspian made the fatal attack. It would make sense…and as he thought about it, it probably made more sense that the man to actually killed him, was one who had been in a similar position as Methos had, as Kronos had explained and Caspian had confirmed only a few minutes before.

Methos rolled over and tried to go to sleep, he truly didn't know what would come of them but he thought Silas was underestimating Kronos, there truly was no telling what he would do.

* * *

It was dark and had been for a few hours when Kronos returned. Methos woke up when he heard the horse followed by Kronos' bellowing voice a few seconds later. He didn't go out to meet him, he barely made the effort to get out of bed. Kronos entered the tent and saw Methos, his eyes half closed, and looking to go back to sleep.

"Methos, how are you feeling tonight?" Kronos asked.

Methos closed his eyes shut for a second and forced them open to look up at his brother. "Allright, I suppose…I've been in bed for most of the day."

Kronos sank to his knees and crawled on the bed up to Methos and rested one hand on his stomach. "You needed your rest," he said. He then noticed something and started poking Methos in the stomach. "You're feeling a bit thin even considering how scrawny you already are…have you eaten today?"

"No."

"Well then you should have plenty of room for what I brought."

Methos hadn't noticed until then that Kronos had brought something into the tent with him. At the entrance it would've been too dark to tell but in the oil light he saw what it was, two large, dead rabbits.

"Silas and Caspian have already gone off to their own tents, so it's just us right now," Kronos told him.

Methos weakly nodded and pushed back the furs and got up. "Kronos?"

"What?"

"Where did you go today?" Methos asked.

"Nowhere in particular."

"You were gone a long time for being no place in particular," Methos noticed.

_Then again,_ he added to himself, _you're always gone a long time when you take off._

Kronos never told Methos where he went and Methos seldom asked, he had it seared into his memory the time he asked Kronos where he had been, and got the bones in his face broken for it. But Mary's death burnt strong in him and he had promised it wouldn't happen again, but Methos knew that he had a way of driving men beyond their word, and that could very well include Kronos.

* * *

Their dinner passed and them sprawled out in front of the fire, it was enough to put Methos back to sleep, but he stayed awake to listen to Kronos' plans. They were not a breed of peaceful men, their histories said that much about them, however, nobody alive in the village had taken up a fight with them, and they'd have no personal gain from fighting and raiding these people. There was nothing of interest worth taking, nor was there anything to gain from killing the people, nor would there be until they started a feud against the brothers first. Methos sighed, Kronos' current plans didn't always work the way his past ones had, but different times called for different ideas, and it all still seemed to hold together.

Kronos could see Methos was almost asleep as it was. "Am I boring you?"

"Not at all," Methos replied, "I'm just tired…Kronos?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you mean what you said last night?" Methos opened his eyes and sat up to face him.

"Of course, I love you like the brother you are."

"That's nice to know, but I meant when you said that you'd protect me."

"Well of course I meant it…Methos, I can only trust my brothers and you I need to keep a closer eye on than Caspian or Silas…you three are the only ones I have now, I have to make sure I don't lose you, any of you, and you, Methos…you clearly weren't trained so much to be a warrior, least not so much as I was, Silas and Caspian weren't either but they learned it along the way. How to fight, whereas you, you're not so much a fighter, as you are a survivor, that seems to be what you do best, not in battle, but just living to see another day. That in mind, you do call for a bit more looking after than the others since a main difference in fighting and surviving is with surviving, it comes at the cost of your freedom. In order to live sometimes, you're compromised, and used, as you were before, and I'm not going to let that happen again. There is more work in keeping an eye on you, but it's worth it to keep you alive and here with us. Methos I swear to you that as long as I'm alive, I'll always protect you, you don't have to worry about that."

Even so, Methos still looked like something was bothering him. "Now what's wrong?" Kronos asked.

"That's just it," Methos said, "you shouldn't have to protect me for the rest of my days…I'm Immortal just like you, I'm over a thousand, you're barely eight hundred, I shouldn't have to rely on you to fight my battles for me."

"Methos, I'm not saying you can't fight, I know you can, you've done it before, and very well I might add. But I do know that there are a lot of people in this world, Immortal and mortal, and sooner or later, we're going to come across someone who has an advantage over us, it's happened before, I don't doubt it can again. When that happens, Methos, you might not be able to fight them and win, and I think it's safe to say that there are more people who'd want you as their slave than just to kill you. I can't let that happen to my brother, I've got to look out for you, you're not so much a fighter as we are, you mainly just try to stay alive. But as long as I'm here, you don't need to worry about that, because when someone tries for you again, if you can't take them, I will."

Methos shook his head, "It's not fair, Kronos, we're brothers, we're supposed to be equals."

"We are."

"Then why am I the one that needs protecting?"

"Oh Methos, it won't always be this way…but I can't take any chances, I don't want to lose you."

"What makes me so much more important than the others?" Methos asked.

"Nothing, but Methos you have to remember, Caspian doesn't have a problem with fighting anybody, anyone tries their luck with him, he'll make a dinner out of them, and Silas…well I wouldn't put it past him to do it either but he's…well he may not seem like it to you because you haven't seen him fight too often, but he can turn into a real beast when he fights, especially when he's determined to win. Them I don't have to worry about too much, it's not that you're any more or less important than they are, it's just that there are four of us Methos, and there always will be, just the four of us, no one else, no one less. And you, you are a one-of-a-kind, as we all are, but for different reasons. You have a clever mind and often have a plan and you act on it quickly, that's saved our lives more than a few times. You're too important to lose, and since you weren't brought up a fighter as we were, you'd be considered a very easy victim to get to, and out of anyone who tries, there could be someone who can overpower you very easily. I can't ever let that happen, I'd sooner die myself than let them take you. Now do you understand why I want to protect you?" Kronos asked.

"It's just not right, you shouldn't have to always be protecting me," Methos replied.

"Oh I don't have a problem with it, I rather enjoy it," Kronos said.

"You do?" Methos found that very hard to believe, "How…how can you enjoy it? How can you possibly enjoy always having to put up with me crying like an infant and always clinging to you, and depending on you to always assure me that what happened before is all in the past? And how many nights have you taken me to bed with you so you could keep an eye on me, and to wake me from my nightmares, and having to coddle me through the nights just so I might quiet down?"

Kronos tilted his head back and laughed as hard as Methos ever heard anyone laugh, and he thought that Kronos was doing it at his expense. It wasn't until Kronos looked back at Methos and saw the streaks of tears running down his face that he realized Methos had misunderstood. He sat up and reached over to Methos and held him as he cried.

"I'm sorry, Methos, I wasn't laughing at you, it's just…what you just described, that could very well describe my life when I was married and had a family to look after. Before that it was rather lonely, and very miserable, and I don't recommend it. When you actually have a family…" that made him wonder, "Have you ever had a family, Methos?"

Methos shook his head. It wasn't that he never thought about it, he was just never given the chance to actually settle down with someone.

"Oh…well, it's never boring but often tiring, but after a while you don't care because you love your family enough that you can put up with whatever they have," he continued, "And the families I've had kept me busy with the exact same things as you, by now I'm used to it so I don't mind any of it. I think I especially like being able to go through it with you."

"Why?" Methos asked.

"Because I always wanted a brother, and I figured taking care of one wouldn't be any different than taking care of anyone else in the family…and it seems that I was right, when it comes to you anyway. Silas…he's lived alone most of his life, he doesn't necessarily need anyone to keep him company, but all the same he does enjoy the four of us together."

"And you?" Methos asked.

"I've been alone too, but I've also been married and had a family about ten times or so in my life, and between the two, I'll take family, and I know that you don't like being alone either…there's nothing worse than being alone."

"Oh yes there is," Methos replied, "being surrounded by people and you can't trust any of them."

"Consider this, though," Kronos said, "when they used you for a catamite, was it better when nobody came and you were left alone to freeze to death, or when customers came and used you for entertainment that at least kept both of you warm? And let's face it, even if you didn't care for it, your body must've responded to it with _some_ pleasure."

Methos groaned and turned away, Kronos grabbed him and turned him back to face him. Methos turned away again, so Kronos rolled him over onto his stomach and kept a gentle hold on him there. "Now what is it?"

"If you really want to know, Kronos," the tone of Methos' voice had turned sinister, "I'd rather have let the vultures try for me than to have those people touch me even once again, you…" the last world came out as almost a beastly growl, and Methos had it with him, he lunged at Kronos, too quickly for him to counterattack. Kronos never saw it coming, never heard the noise, never actually felt Methos' fist, all he knew was he'd been knocked flat on his back, his head hurt, his face hurt like nothing he could imagine, and he could've sworn he felt a bone in his face break.

"Damn you, Kronos, do you enjoy this? Do you get pleasure from hurting me? Don't you know I would rather die than be touched like that again? Damn you, Kronos!" Methos hit him again, once again, too fast for Kronos to catch. "You said that you would help me, that you would protect me, that if I let it pass, I wouldn't feel like a damned catamite anymore, and then you do THIS!"

He pummeled Kronos with his fists again, and again, and again, until his eyes were blackened and a dark blue bruise surfaced on his cheek just below his right eye. When Methos saw the result of his work, he wanted to fall down and cry again, but he couldn't, he could only look on in horror at what he had done.

"Kronos…how can you say we're brothers, and then do this to me?" Methos asked, "you said that you wouldn't let it happen again…you told me that you'd protect me, and now you do this…" he couldn't control himself, he cried and shook and rocked back and forth and held to himself, knowing he could at least trust himself not to cause anymore pain than he'd already been through.

He heard Kronos grunt as he pulled himself to sit up, and Methos saw the dark and swollen bruises, and didn't know anymore what to think. On one hand, he'd just battered his brother, his family, on the other, Kronos had brought it on himself, he never should've asked…

"It seems I was wrong about you," Kronos said.

That was only half of what he had to say, and Methos knew, he braced himself for what Kronos would say next.

"…It seems you can fight when you have to, and win." There wasn't much room between them but Kronos gestured for Methos to come closer. Methos dreaded it, knowing that after what he did, Kronos would have every right to do the same to him, and knowing Kronos, probably more.

"Come here, Methos."

He shook his head and continued sobbing.

"Methos…"

There was no threat in his voice, nothing that guaranteed he would be punished, but Methos knew Kronos well enough to know that he could change in a second.

"Methos...Brother, please…come here."

It didn't matter how angry he was at Kronos, he couldn't find the…what was it, strength, defiance, anger? Whatever it was, he didn't have it in him to deny Kronos what he asked, he moved a few inches closer but Kronos still couldn't reach him, and he said again, and Methos moved forward a little more. Kronos put his hands on Methos' shoulders and held him very gently.

"Kronos…" Methos tried to think of something to say, there wasn't anything.

"Very impressive, Brother," Kronos grinned sinisterly and painfully with his face still swollen very much on one side. "Remember that, whenever you fight, mortal or Immortal, you remember what they did to you, and how much it hurt you, and as angry as you got with me, you remember that, and you use that anger to punish your enemies, remember the anger and use it against them." However it didn't seem to matter to Methos, all he did was continue crying. "Methos, what's the matter?" Kronos asked, "there's no reason to cry, what's wrong?"

Methos looked as if it burnt his eyes just to look at him. "I hurt you," he said.

"So now we're even," Kronos replied.

Methos didn't know what to think of that. "What do you mean we're even?"

"Remember when Mary died and I hit you? I was certain once you came around again and remembered what I'd done to you, you'd try to do the same to me, but it didn't happen."

Methos remembered waking up and finding Kronos as defenseless as a small child, thinking back, he realized Kronos wouldn't have fought him if he'd tried to retaliate, at the time Kronos probably didn't even have the strength to attack. He remembered how hard it was to keep Kronos on his feet and even that wasn't for long, they spent most of the night from there out in bed.

"I couldn't…not even if I'd wanted to, you weren't in any condition to fight…but I didn't care about that, any of it."

"Then you're a better man than me," Kronos said, "but it doesn't matter now. What does matter is that you finally saw your chance to even us and you did, and in doing so, you prove to be a worthier fighter than I thought."

"You really think so?" Methos asked.

"I've seen you fight before, with your sword, I've yet to see anyone that might be able to stop you. It's when you're weaponless that I worry, because that will come up and often, however there aren't a lot of Immortals, and providing mortals don't learn you have to lose your head to die, there's not as much to worry there. Now there are a lot of mortals who are brought up warriors, however there are probably as many mortals who prefer to fight without weapons, you probably know the kind, very full of themselves. You'll probably run into as many of them as you would someone carrying a sword, as I said, with a sword you're very good, and now it seems you're better at fighting weaponless than I thought as well…but you don't have to worry, I'll still protect you when you can't fight, it happens to all of us sooner or later."

This had all come at Methos pretty fast, he still couldn't grasp onto everything Kronos had told him. The pain was still well alive in him, from what Kronos had said, and then from what he'd done to Kronos to punish him.

"Kronos," he sobbed, sounding like a tired child more than anything.

"I know it was a lousy thing to do, but I wanted to see if the scars from the damage, were painful enough to incite an attack from you. It seems they are, remember that when you fight, focus your anger on the enemy, don't think they'll do any less than the ones before them if they capture you."

It was no better than ripping into his chest and tearing out his heart, Methos laid his head on Kronos' shoulder and cried. The memories were raw as wounds and hurt just about as much, more than anything Methos wanted this night to be over and the pain to pass. Kronos held him close and gently rocked him back and forth, until after a while, Methos seemed to wear himself out from crying, and it was then that Kronos stopped rocking.

"Come on, Methos, let's go to bed, I can tell you've had enough excitement for one day," Kronos said.

"What about you?" Methos asked, "How…how are you going to explain your face to Silas and Caspian in the morning?"

Kronos and Methos both knew that minor injuries didn't heal as fast as life-threatening ones, and if the bruises remained come morning…well, Methos couldn't imagine how that might turn out.

"Morning's a long way off, I don't think there'll be anything to tell them," Kronos said as he got to his feet.

"But what if you do?" Methos asked as Kronos pulled him to his feet. "What will you tell them?"

"That I went looking for a fight, and the better man won," he told him.

* * *

Methos had wanted to return to his own tent that night, but Kronos insisted he stay where he could keep an eye on Methos, just for that night more. The next night he promised Methos he could be by himself, but Kronos didn't want to chance Methos having a second reaction to what he'd done and possibly take off screaming into the night. If it happened, he'd be right where Kronos could restrain him, and that would pretty much be the end of that, but he was in no mood to go running throughout the whole camp the rest of the night to catch him. Methos felt uneasy about it though he didn't know why, Kronos was his Brother, in arms and blood and all but birth, if he couldn't trust Kronos he honestly didn't know anyone he could. The more he thought about it, the better he realized his reason for being uneasy.

Although Kronos decided them even, Methos still half-expected him to do something in a counterattack. That was why he'd wanted to go back to his own tent, he would know if Kronos came up on him, but staying with him, it was too familiar to feel like a dangerous situation, and he could very easily fall asleep and forget what he feared. That was exactly what happened, with both of them in the bed, Methos on one side and Kronos on the other, already sound asleep, Methos too started to drift into slumber for the night. One of the last conscious thoughts he had before he completely gave in to sleep, was if Kronos didn't do anything to him tonight, by morning if the bruises were gone, it could be as good as forgotten.

He prayed it be that way.

* * *

Kronos was still asleep when Methos awoke the next morning. It hadn't gotten light yet, but it was light enough to tell if the bruises were still there. Methos leaned over to look at Kronos, and he was about certain he'd fall on him and wake him up before this was over. The bruise on his left eye was gone, so far so good, next came the right side, which would be even harder to get a look at. It took a while but he finally got a good long look at Kronos' face on the right side and there remained no evidence that the events of last night had ever taken place. And for that, Methos was thankful to any and every deity that may have existed, he got little actual rest during the night, fearing retaliation, and now that it was over, he was truly exhausted.

He collapsed on top of Kronos and was too tired to even care, but the sudden added weight shocked Kronos fully awake, he took in Methos' awkward position, lying on top of him, with his arms up around Kronos' neck, and he said, "We need to get you a woman." He grabbed Methos' arms and placed them down at his sides, and rolled him back over to the other side of the bed and covered him up again. Then he got himself up and was about to leave the tent when he heard a sudden, and possibly worried, "Kronos?"

He turned around, "Yes, Methos, what is it?"

"I know the answer," Methos told him.

"The answer to what?"

"Your question from last night, I've decided it's just as terrible being alone and dying for company, than to be surrounded by people you can't trust, and who don't give a damn about whether you live or die. I don't want to go through either again."

Kronos headed back over to the bed. "I can understand that, and I trust you believe me when I tell you that as long as you're with us, you won't have to worry about either happening again."

Methos nodded weakly. "I won't leave," he said, "I can't stand the idea of being alone anymore."

"You won't have to be," Kronos assured him, "Now go to sleep, Methos."

As easy as it was for him to fall into sleep, it was difficult actually getting to that point. Methos still worried that he might go to sleep, and wake up to find Kronos gone, and if he were gone, then Methos felt he would certainly slip away, perhaps beneath the earth altogether and just disappear. He knew he was being foolish but he could never fully rid himself of that awful feeling that he was only being set up to be hurt again, this time worse than any before.

Kronos could see Methos wasn't going to slip away to sleep so easily, so he sat at the foot of the bed and asked, "Do you want me to stay with you until you go to sleep?"

Methos nodded again, "Please, Kronos…"

Kronos wouldn't deny him it, he got on his knees and moved closer up to Methos, "Allright, I will…just relax."

"Kronos…do you think I'll ever get past this?"

Kronos smiled as he smoothed back the bangs on Methos' forehead, "Don't worry, you'll be fine. It's just going to take some time…but we'll deal with that later, sleep now."

And that was all the assurance he needed, Methos finally gave into the desire to close his heavy eyelids and rest his burning eyes. He felt secure in knowing his Brother was with him, that would be enough to get him through this, for now.

* * *

True to his word, Kronos let Methos return to his own tent to spend the night alone. At first Methos thought it was just what he needed to get away from Kronos a bit and give them both some room. Returning to his tent was easy, staying there through the night and actually sleeping, alone, that would be the hard part. The night was long and it gave Methos plenty of time to think, to think about how he hated himself for becoming so weak. Kronos may not say anything about it, he may not even have paid attention to it, but Methos did, and it was enough to almost drive him insane. As if to only further prove his weakness, it was at that point that he wished he was back with Kronos, at least he'd have someone to talk to. No, he decided, he had to do this, he had to get through the night by himself, if he didn't do it now, he probably never would. He'd just keep going back to Kronos, depending on him for everything…that wasn't family, that was pitiful, and he wouldn't be pitied either.

He tried to sleep but found he wouldn't be getting off that easily. He couldn't sleep, he put himself into every different position he found possible on the furs that served as a bed, and none were any more comfortable than the next. Finally he gave up on that idea, and just decided to close his eyes and wait for sleep to take him. Shortly after he closed his eyes, he was haunted by images so sudden and so realistic, he couldn't rightly recall if he had dreamt them or not. When he opened his eyes and sat up he had to think to recall what he had seen.

It was Mary, she stood tall and looked mostly the same as she had the last time he saw her alive, only now she dressed like a soldier, and her eyes were hardened, no longer containing the innocence that miraculously had stayed with her through ten long years. The very look in her eyes now hit him as if somebody had struck him in the heart, and in that instant he wanted to run to her, to hold her and to find out what was wrong so he could make it right. And then Mary was gone just as quickly as she had come, and Methos felt a pain so great it was as if somebody had cut open his chest and removed his heart.

Then he saw her again, only this time she was seven years old again. Fresh bruises marked her face and her body, her dress covered in dry blood, she shook and shivered and while she didn't say anything, Methos could tell the question she had just by the look on her face. Without saying a word, she asked what she had done to deserve this, and Methos had no answer. He ran to her but just when his hands would've touched her, she disappeared again. Methos was convinced he was losing his mind, he was awake now but it still was happening in such a way it could only be a dream.

Methos' memory of the night only held up to that point, but Kronos' memory served him for thousands of years, and the memory of this night would stay in his mind as fresh as the time it happened. Kronos had been watching from his tent incase Methos needed him, and he saw Methos come out of his tent, pass by without a word or turning to look, and headed over to where they kept the horses. Kronos was already after him but by the time he got there, Methos had rode out of camp without any explanation for it all. Silas had also been up and was a witness to this oddity. Kronos knew Methos wouldn't win a fight this night against anyone mortal or Immortal, he'd have to get to him first.

"Where do you think he's going?" Silas asked.

"I don't know, hopefully I can catch him before somebody else finds him," Kronos replied as he mounted his horse, "You stay here incase he comes back. If you get to him before I do, hold him down and don't let him out of your sight, when I get back I'll take care of the rest."

Silas would do as commanded, and with that, Kronos rode off into the night, praying to any and every deity that may exist that he would find Methos before anything went wrong.


	10. Chapter 10

Kronos didn't know how long he'd been riding but he knew he was close, he could feel Methos nearby…at least he hoped it was Methos. The night would be pitch dark if it weren't for the moon, which gave Kronos enough light to see anyone he might meet. He looked ahead, yes, yes it was Methos, he'd found him! Kronos pulled on the reins and the horse stopped, as Kronos got off he decided their horses were 10 years old and during that time had been trained well enough that they wouldn't run off if they weren't tied up. So he left his horse with Methos' and ran to catch up with his brother. When he did, he saw that something appeared to be wrong with Methos, there was nothing or no one on this land and probably hadn't been since before they came out this way, but Methos didn't seem to understand that right now, he was going through the grounds as if he were looking for someone.

He wasn't sure what to make of it, but, they were family and family could reason with one another. Kronos called to Methos before approaching him so he wouldn't be taken by surprise. In fact it did seem to surprise Methos that he was there, it was as if Methos couldn't even feel his presence, but his attention quickly went from Kronos to exploring the land again, and Methos turned his back to him.

As Kronos came closer, he saw something that would've stopped his heart if he were a normal person. Someone was standing in front of Methos wearing a long white robe, when the person turned around, Kronos saw it was Mary! She shook her head sadly and said something to him but he couldn't hear anything come out of her mouth. Now fortunately, of course it wasn't seen as fortunately at the time, Kronos had had his ears beaten open a few times in his life and had to learn what people said from the way their mouths moved. Mary spoke too fast for him to make out most of it, but he was able to make out the last sentence she tried to tell him regarding Methos, "Tell him I love him."

Kronos nodded so she'd know he understood, and with that, she vanished before his very eyes.

"Methos," he called again as he came up to his brother, "You ran out quite suddenly, is something wrong?"

"She's gone, Kronos," Methos said.

Kronos couldn't understand what he had said, there had been no tone to his voice, no emotion, he couldn't tell if what Methos said was supposed to be bad news, good news, or neither.

"She who?" Kronos asked.

Methos looked surprised, as if Kronos had forgotten something simple. "Mary, she's gone! Everyone is…the tavern's gone, the horses are gone, I can't find Alexandria anywhere, what happened, where are they?"

No, that wasn't right, Kronos knew Methos couldn't mean what he was saying. They had left Mary's grave miles back…going from their camp on this new land it would take them over a week to get back that way. Then Kronos got to thinking, that trip might take seven days, but it only took a couple of hours to get from their old camp to the burial ground where the tavern used to be. Just as it must have taken only a couple of hours to get here…now Kronos understood, Methos had had a back lash of some sort. It happened before to people he knew, they would think themselves back in time, one year, two years, sometimes forty years, they had no recollection of what had happened since, or very little recollection.

And as Kronos also remembered, those people were killed soon afterwards so they wouldn't have to go on the rest of their days confused. Others were fortunate to have a family, or lover who would take on the responsibility for what they did from there on out, but often in doing so they worked themselves to a much earlier grave than they would've otherwise.

No, no! He swore on his life he wouldn't take Methos' head, no matter how bad he got. Now he knew he was thinking too hard about it, he also recalled people who only went through a few during their entire lives, they were all temporary and short-lived…if Kronos could just get Methos back to their camp.

"Where is Mary, Kronos?" Methos asked, "Where did she go?"

No, Kronos wouldn't put him all through that again, thinking quickly, he came up with as good an answer as any.

"She left, Methos, she just rode out…you just missed her."

"Oh…do you know where she's going?" Methos asked.

"No…but she did say to tell you something."

"What's that?"

"That she loves you."

"Oh…" Methos looked as if the truth had hit him like a punch in the stomach. He slowly lowered himself until he was sitting on the ground, and during the next few minutes, he twitched, shook, and seemed unable to speak but made up for that with plenty of incoherent, almost animalistic sounds. Finally, he cocked his head to the side and laughed humorlessly once, and he said, "I really am alone, aren't I?"

Kronos lowered himself on his knees next to Methos and put a hand on his shoulder to keep his attention. "No you're not alone, Methos, I'm here…"

But Methos didn't seem to hear him, he was talking again as if there had been no intervention from his brother. "I saw her, Kronos…she was hurt…she was…she was dressed as a warrior..." As Methos spoke he fought for control over his emotions, and it was a losing battle. "She wasn't a warrior, so who would dress her like that? She was a little girl, she was a baby…but somebody tried to make a soldier out of her...and her eyes…those eyes…" his own eyes had filled with tears and as he spoke, the emotional dam burst and he couldn't control himself any longer. "Something happened to her…somebody…they had to have done something to her, Kronos, she wasn't like that…you know that…no matter what her father did, no matter what we did…she never let it consume her…she was happy. But what I saw tonight…something had happened to her that the damage could never be undone…"

"No, Methos, that didn't happen," Kronos told him, "Mary…" he had to think, whatever he said, he had to speak of Mary as if she were still alive. He grabbed Methos' shoulder with one hand and slipped his other hand around Methos' back to keep a hold on him and to keep his attention. "She's allright, Methos…believe me, nobody's going to hurt her…not anymore."

Methos spent the next few minutes exhausting himself through his crying, until finally he couldn't cry anymore, he wriggled out of Kronos' hold and moved himself over to lay against the base of a large tree so he could rest. Kronos moved up next to him but made no physical contact with him this time. "Methos."

"What?"

"Do you want to stay here for the night?"

Methos shook his head.

"Do you want to go home?"

"Just let me rest a while, and we can go," Methos said, "but Mary, what if she comes back?"

"Mary knows what she's doing," Kronos assured him, "She knows where to find us and if she wants to see us, she'll see us, don't worry about that."

Methos nodded weakly, he was tired, tired because he hadn't slept and tired because he'd worn himself out once again with his crying. He wiped the tears away from his eyes so they wouldn't become hard and painful against his eyes once they dried, and just laid where he was for a few minutes. Kronos thought for a moment that he was going to sleep, but just as he thought that, Methos got to his feet and looked around as if he'd never seen the land before.

"Are you up to riding back?" Kronos asked.

Methos hesitated to answer.

"Our horses know the way back, yours would follow us if you rode with me if you need to," Kronos told him.

Methos truly looked exhausted, as if he shouldn't have stood up in the first place, as if even that had become too tiring for him to accomplish. Slowly he sank to the ground again, but Kronos wouldn't leave him here on strange grounds, he belonged back at their camp, their home, where at least he would know his actual surroundings. Kronos pulled Methos to his feet and held him close so Methos would be able to stay up, and Kronos took them back to where the horses were. First he untied Methos' horse and got Methos up on him, then he got on behind him and wrapped an arm around Methos' waist.

"What's going on?" Methos asked, "where are we going, Kronos?"

"Home."

Kronos just hoped once they actually got back, Methos would remember where he was. It would take them another couple of hours to get back, fortunately by the time they would get back, the sun still wouldn't be up for a few hours more, so they still stood a chance of getting some rest tonight providing Methos could rest.

* * *

Kronos had never been so glad to get back to their camp. Methos hadn't said a word and hardly made any sound at all since they left, and now that they were back where they belonged, he didn't have to worry so much about what Methos did now. No sooner had the horses stopped, Methos, who seemed to be half asleep, started moaning as if he were in a great deal of pain. Kronos got off first and then helped Methos down, and when he did, Methos screamed instead of moaned, and shortly afterwards, he cried again, this time however the sound resembled that of a wounded beast. Kronos had to all but carry Methos back to his tent, during which time Silas followed him.

"What's happened?" Silas asked.

"I don't know," Kronos responded, and it was the truth, he couldn't tell what was wrong with Methos.

"Did somebody hurt him?" Silas demanded to know.

"I don't think so but I'm going to find out what's going on," Kronos replied as they reached Methos' tent.

"Kronos…"

"I'll take care of this, Silas…go on to sleep, somebody needs to get some rest tonight," Kronos told him.

Silas didn't think it was a good idea, but he wasn't about to question Kronos' ideas, so he headed back to his own tent and left the oldest two Immortals to themselves.

As Kronos carried his brother over to the bed, he realized that Methos' skin was unbelievably cold despite the fair weather of the night. He set Methos down on the bed and covered him in the furs and blankets, but Methos shook and moaned and cried as if he were being left to freeze in the coldest weather the earth had experienced. He tried to make sense of what Methos was struggling so much to say but to no avail, it tore him apart to see his brother suffering like this, and there was no answer as to why he was being put through this, and no explanation of what had to be done to help him. Methos it seemed, was unable to make any coherent words, instead everything that left his mouth came out as an animalistic noise. Kronos grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him hard to get his attention, Methos made no acknowledgment that he'd gotten his attention, but Kronos tried anyway.

"Methos, Methos please, speak to me, tell me what's wrong…say something!" but it was all to no avail, Methos didn't seem to hear him and Kronos was beginning to fear all might be lost for him. He wrapped his arms around Methos and wailed as he buried his face in his Brother's shoulder, "METHOS!"

* * *

Methos woke up the next morning and found it hard to turn over, every single blanket and fur that made up his bed had been wrapped around and bunched up around him. It took him a few minutes just to get his arms loose so he could unwrap himself from the whole mess, and once that was finished he tried to figure out how he'd gotten like that in the first place. Somebody had to have come to his tent last night and done it, what for though, as a joke? If so he certainly wasn't laughing, and he left his tent to go find out what had happened.

"Kronos, hey Kronos!" he called as he headed for his brother's tent, "Where are you?"

Kronos had been up all night with worry pacing back and forth in his tent, and was surprised to hear Methos calling for him. He went out and saw Methos coming his way, and Kronos took off and met Methos halfway.

"What is it, Methos? What's wrong?" he asked.

Methos looked at him oddly. "Nothing's wrong, Kronos, I just want to know something."

"Wait, first I want to know something," Kronos was almost convinced Methos was back to normal but he had to make sure, "do you know where you are?"

"Of course I know where we are, we're in the exact same place we have been for over a month, why, are you planning on leaving and not telling me?" Methos asked.

Kronos howled in bliss and picked Methos up and kissed him, and Methos in return spat and pounded on Kronos' shoulders with his fists to be let down.

"Maybe it's _you_ we need to get a woman," Methos said.

Kronos laughed and put his hands on the sides of Methos' face and kissed him again, and Methos was starting to get tired of it.

"Kronos I swear if you do that to me ONE MORE TIME!" he growled.

"Methos! I'm just so happy to see that you're okay! You had me worried last night…do you even remember last night?"

Methos thought for a minute. "All I remember from last night is trying to sleep, what happened after that?"

Kronos told him about the events of the night before that he had witnessed, Methos taking off without a word to anyone, finding him confused and looking for Mary, and his breakdown when they'd returned to camp.

"I'm sorry that I made you worry, Kronos," Methos said, "I honestly don't remember doing any of that."

"It's probably best you don't remember," Kronos told him, "I just can't figure out why it happened in the first place."

Methos shook his head, "I don't know…you'd think if that were going to happen, it would've happened sooner…right after she died…"

"Don't think about it," Kronos said.

"Well…it won't happen again tonight, that I know for sure," Methos said.

"How can you know that?" Kronos asked.

"I won't go to sleep."

"Methos you have to, otherwise you won't be good for anything."

"But Kronos, what if it happens again?" Methos asked.

"I don't know."

"Wait…wait a minute," something came to Methos very suddenly, "last night, when did you leave my tent?"

"After you had calmed down, how much time that took I don't know…but after you had I figured you'd probably rest easier by yourself. And the more I thought about it, I remembered you said that you wanted to get through the night by yourself, so I figured if by chance when you woke up again that you were back to normal, you would want to be alone."

How ironic, Methos thought, the first time he actually got through a night without Kronos with him at all times, and he couldn't even remember it.

"But that does prove that you can get through a night by yourself," Kronos told him.

"That was only part of a night," Methos said.

"It's still an improvement," Kronos replied, "besides, tonight I can stand guard and if you get up again, I'll just take you right back to bed."

The idea of sleep proved to be tempting for both of them, Kronos settled down on his own bed and went to sleep since he'd been up all night, and Methos headed back to his tent to get some more rest as well. Once he was back in his own tent and his own bed, he tried to think, what would make him act the way Kronos had seen it? He had to be telling the truth, there was no question to that, but why would Methos do it? And what could've happened that he had no recollection of it either?

Maybe, he thought, it was just a thought finally surfacing in his mind…he couldn't deny the truth that he missed Mary, he didn't tell Kronos but he often wondered about what actually happened when she was murdered. As much as he had to face the facts, some part of him wanted to believe that it never happened, that she was still alive…and it seemed that side of him was coming to surface now. And now, taking all this into consideration was depressing him, he rolled up the sleeve on his right arm to see the proof of Mary's last visit. It was gone, Methos couldn't believe his eyes, but the scrap from her robe wasn't there. He tried to think, had it come off in the night? No, he didn't have it on the night before, nor the day before for that matter…meaning it had to still be in the tent, so he started looking for it.

* * *

After a couple more hours of sleep, Kronos went to see Methos, and as he approached the tent, something told him to get out of the way, and he went with that idea and ducked out of the way just as a rock came flying out of the entrance. Kronos headed in and saw Methos tearing through everything that he owned, everything that he'd claimed his and fought to keep, it all was going through the air and out the tent. Kronos jumped him from behind and they both fell to the ground, Kronos rolled them over and ended up on top so he could pin Methos down. "What's going on in here? What is it, Methos? Are you allright?"

"No, get off of me."

Kronos got up and pulled Methos to his feet. "What are you doing, Methos?" he asked.

"It's gone, Kronos…the piece of Mary's robe…I've looked and I can't find it…I've looked through everything."

"I can see that," Kronos looked around the tent and saw that Methos had thrown everything everywhere apparently after deciding it wasn't there. "You need a boar to get through this mess…"

"Kronos…what if I lost it?" Methos asked.

"Don't panic, Methos…maybe you left it in my tent, I'll go look," Kronos turned and was out of there in a heartbeat.

Methos went back to searching through his own stuff even though this made the third time he'd looked trough it all. He really felt awful for it, but that scrap, that simple piece of cloth, meant more to him than almost anything he could imagine, because of who it belonged to, because that child, that dear angel, had been stolen away from him far too early, and that scrap would be one of the only things he would have to remember her by.

He felt an Immortal approach but didn't stop to look and see who it was, somehow he had an idea from the start that it wasn't Kronos.

"What's this?" and apparently he was right.

"Go away, Caspian, whatever it is, I'm not in the mood," Methos said.

"Looking for something, are you?"

There wasn't anything threatening in what Caspian said, it was the way he said it that got Methos' attention. He turned around and saw it, dangling from his fingertips, Caspian held the scrap of cloth he treasured so much. Methos jumped at Caspian to get it back but Caspian was too quick and he got away, Methos chased him but came to a sudden stop and his heart did the same thing. Caspian held the scrap over a fire, taunting Methos, threatening to drop it in and burn it if he came any closer. Methos knew he couldn't call for help either because Caspian would burn it anyway. He hated Caspian, here he was helpless as to what to do, and he hated that also. He wanted to lunge at Caspian, he wanted to choke the very life out of him, he wanted to rip open his throat, but he could do nothing, and his anger mixed well together with his pain.

From the corner of his eye he saw Kronos running towards them but he was still far enough out of reach for them to feel his presence. Suddenly Methos didn't care what happened, he was going to get Caspian back for this trick. Just as Methos was ready to charge at him, it seems something, or someone beat him to it. Caspian stood alone, but he went back and down as if somebody had knocked him in the face, he fell to the ground and let go of the cloth. Methos scrambled to grab it and once he had it he took off running, Kronos tried to stop him and find out what had happened, but that ended with Methos knocking Kronos down and he just kept on running. Where he was running to he didn't know, he didn't want anyone to follow him, he especially didn't want anyone to find him.

* * *

Luck must have been on Methos' side, he managed to get away from his Brothers, and the village, get away from everyone and everything back there. Where he was now he had no idea, but it was certainly far enough away if anyone were to find him they would be looking for a long while. He held the scrap from Mary's robe in his hand, taking in her scent and hoping it never left the material. Thinking to himself how much he missed her, he remembered the last time he saw her, her scolding him for grieving. If she could see him now…he stopped that thought because it came to him that she most likely was seeing him.

"I'm sorry, Mary," he said, knowing she could hear him from wherever she was, "but losing you was the worst thing that's ever happened to me, I'm going to need time to stop hurting."

Methos cried himself to exhaustion, and after that he cried until he threw up twice, and after that he cried himself to sleep. It was just as if he'd lost a child naturally his, whether or not he held responsibility for her being brought into the world didn't matter, she was as good his had he been married to her mother. Some people he'd known said that after losing a child, you don't feel safe anymore. Methos wasn't sure that he believed that, but he believed that when she died a large part of him died as well. In perspective it seemed pretty sad that he clung so dearly to that measly scrap of robe but it meant so much to him because it was the last thing he would have to remember her by. He tied it high up over his shoulder, he would've preferred having an extra set of hands to help him with it but he worked with what he had. It wasn't very tight but he didn't plan to go anywhere tonight so he didn't figure he had to worry about losing it.

He didn't know how much time passed but eventually he fell asleep, at first it was an uneventful sleep and subconsciously he thought he'd get through the night without any trouble. However that changed when a dream started. Some men had rode into camp, the men who had killed Mary, and all the people who had used Methos as a slave and a whore and everything else they'd wanted of him and they took. They outnumbered Kronos and Silas and Caspian, and despite their best efforts they were no match for the strangers. Slaughtered like animals, first their flesh was ripped open, then their bones broken and smashed, and finally their heads severed from their bodies.

Methos woke up crying and in a cold sweat, now he was scared to death that he'd made a fatal mistake by leaving the camp. He got to his feet and started running, the moon gave off enough light for him to see where he was going. He could only hope that they were still alive by the time he got back.

* * *

Kronos had just settled down to bed when he felt Methos return, and no sooner had he felt that, Methos came running into the tent and when he saw Kronos, he jumped on him and pinned him to the bed.

"What is it, Methos? What's wrong? What's happened?"

"Kronos I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" Methos noticed something dark on Kronos' shirt, pulling back the blankets revealed he was covered in blood, "oh God, Kronos! Blood! The blood! They…"

Kronos shushed him and wrapped his arms around him and pulled him down to lay beside him. "It's allright, Methos…I'm not hurt."

"But the blood!"

"That is Caspian's blood…but don't worry about him, he'll live."

Methos ran his fingers across one particular patch of it, it stained his fingers…it was still warm, "What…" he didn't know what to say.

"I've been busy with him since right after you left," Kronos explained, "I just finished with him for the night, and now I am exhausted. It's too cold to wash tonight, I'll do that in the morning when the sun's up."

Methos heard him and what more he understood what Kronos was saying, but it didn't help him to calm down, he couldn't stop crying or shaking or moaning. He thought for sure he'd be sick again but he really didn't care at this point. All the noise he made got Silas up and he came to the tent to see what had happened, by that time Methos had exhausted himself so much he couldn't do much of anything, he was hardly making any sound by that time.

"Surprise," Kronos said, "look what came back."

Methos wouldn't turn to look, apparently he didn't need to because the next thing he knew he was being lifted up off the ground by Silas from behind.

"We missed you, Brother," Silas said.

"I missed you too, Silas," he replied, "put me down, please."

He did, and when he turned Methos around, he was shocked by the pained look on Methos' face. "What's wrong?"

"It's been a long day, Silas, and tiring for all of us," Kronos said, "I'll take care of this, you go on back to sleep."

As usual, Silas knew better than to question Kronos' orders, so he left. After that, Kronos pulled Methos down to him again and tried to calm him down since he'd gotten worked up again.

"Kronos," he groaned, "it was horrible…the blood, and you were..." he cringed at the memory of the slaughter, "I was afraid when I came back that it would be too late."

"Shhhhhh, it's allright, Methos, just calm down," Kronos held him close and stroked his head and rubbed his back, waiting for Methos to settle down. It really wasn't all that different from soothing a small child after they'd been given a great scare, of course he wouldn't tell Methos that, lest it further injure him to be compared to an infant, though a mental picture of that did make Kronos smile.

"Methos calm down…" Kronos noticed that Methos was turning a slight blue, "Methos, breathe, Methos…" it took a while to finally get him to listen, "Methos you have to breathe, you're starting to turn colors."

His breathing was very weak, Kronos spent the next few minutes trying to get him to take in one deep breath, and once he finally did, he forgot to get rid of it. "Now tell me…" Kronos looked at Methos and saw he still had it in him, "Methos open your mouth and let it out now."

He did, and if sound counted for anything, Kronos was convinced doing so nearly killed him.

"Now tell me what's wrong," Kronos said, "you don't have to get yourself worked up like that again, everything's fine…just slowly, and calmly tell me what's going on."

Methos told him about the dream he'd had while he was away, and that he was afraid it may have been a sign of things to come. And by the time he'd finished, he was hysterical again. Kronos wrapped his arms tightly around Methos so he couldn't get away and also wouldn't be able to put up much of a fight, and he assured him that no such thing would happen, but Methos, as always, couldn't be calmed so easily.

"Oh Kronos I'm sorry, I'm sorry for hurting you and I'm sorry for running away and I'm sorry if I made you worry, I didn't mean it…"

Kronos just laughed. "I wonder what I did to deserve getting a good brother like you," he said.

From those simple words came more sincerity than Methos could remember hearing from anyone in a long time, possibly even hundreds of years before he'd met Kronos. That only made him cry harder and he buried his face into Kronos' shoulder, and Kronos held him tighter and assured him everything was allright.

"What's important," he told Methos, "is that you're back and you're allright."

"Are you sure," Methos asked, "that I'm worth all the trouble I give you?"

"You're not trouble," Kronos said, "now Caspian, he's trouble if I ever saw it. He's going to take more work to tame than I thought, but he'll come around sooner or later."

That reminded Methos, he looked up and Kronos appeared to be trying to sleep, but before he could really get that far into it, Methos tapped him on the shoulder. "Kronos?"

"Hmm?" one eye opened and he saw Methos holding the strip of Mary's robe, it had come loose when he ran back and he'd held onto it so he wouldn't lose it. Now he wanted Kronos to tie it back on tight again. Kronos sat up and wrapped it around his arm and tied it in a tight knot, any tighter would've cut off the blood flow, so Methos decided that was all the tighter he wanted it.

"Thank you."

Kronos ran a hand through Methos' hair and said, "I can't think for the life of me why Caspian would take that, and then threaten to burn it. He knows how much it means to you."

"Maybe that's why," Methos said, "he cursed me for loving Mary, said it was a sign of weakness…that no true warrior would do such a thing."

"Then I can see I'm going to have my hands busy again with him tomorrow," Kronos said, "fortunately Silas will be around to keep you company. Actually he'd been out searching for you a long time today, started about just after you left. He couldn't figure where you'd gone, but he said he knew you'd be returning, I'm glad that he was right."

Methos closed his eyes and after a few seconds felt Kronos poking him in the stomach, he opened his eyes again and glared at him, demanding to know what that was for.

"You're feeling thin again…you didn't eat today, did you?"

Methos shook his head. "It wouldn't have mattered anyway, if I had eaten anything it would've come up with everything else tonight."

"Hmm…we'll have to do something about that tomorrow, you may be Immortal but you've got to keep yourself well."

Methos was too tired to continue, he rested his head on Kronos' shoulder and closed his eyes. It was good to be back, and while he didn't know for a fact that he wouldn't be leaving again, the idea was none too tempting right now. Just before he fell completely into sleep, he felt Kronos wrap the blankets up over him, covering them both. Now this, he thought, was what it felt like to be home again.

* * *

The next day Kronos had Silas watch Caspian while he tried to get Methos to eat, but after being sick the day before, Methos was in no mood to go through it again. Kronos found out very quickly Methos wouldn't eat, so he came to the conclusion that he would have to feed him, and afterwards he would figure by personal experience that was harder than wrestling with a barracuda. Methos kept his mouth clamped shut and he turned away each time Kronos even got near him, so Kronos decided to take a different approach, he jumped and pinned Methos to the ground, even so he wriggled, squirmed and jerked his head from side to side so he couldn't feed him. A couple of times Methos tried and succeeded in throwing Kronos off of him, but for the most of it the whole experience was an endless struggle between the two. Another time Kronos pinned Methos down and held his nose shut so he'd have to open his mouth to breathe, but Methos refused to give in. Finally Kronos gave up, he sat back on his heels and looked at Methos.

"Just what is it you have against eating this morning? Are you trying to punish yourself for something?" he asked.

"I don't want to get sick again," Methos confessed.

Kronos looked at Methos like he'd seen a monkey come out of a chicken's egg, a look of complete disbelief. "Methos, if anything was going to make you sick today, all that flopping around you did would do it, if that didn't bring anything up, eating won't either." He tried again, "now come on."

Methos laid on his side and turned away again, "No."

"Methos."

"I don't want it."

"Methos, you have to eat."

"Fine, but I don't want the meat."

"Next time say so in the first place," Kronos replied, "what would you rather have?"

"The bread."

"Fine…but if you do this again…"

"I won't."

It seemed to take forever to get Methos to eat it, but after not eating any through all of yesterday, Kronos understood that Methos didn't want to overdo it and actually risk getting his stomach upset again.

After that he laid Methos back in the bed and covered him up.

"Just take it easy, Silas will be along soon to keep you company."

Methos smirked, "You better watch it, Kronos, I could get used to this sort of treatment."

"You've been put through a lot lately, you've earned your rest."

"Well, I hope it all stops soon, this is nice but I'm getting tired of it," Methos said.

Kronos smiled at him, "Don't worry about it, we're Immortal, we have all the time in the world."

"That's exactly my point; I'd like to get on with the rest of my life while I still have it."

"Just rest, everything will be allright."

"If you say so," Methos replied as he turned on his side.

He heard Kronos call back after he left the tent that he would be back later in the day. Not long after he left, Methos felt Silas enter. "Methos, are you asleep?"

He turned over to face him, "No, I'm awake."

"Are you feeling better today?"

"Yes, very much…Silas?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think Kronos will ever really get Caspian…do you think he…" what exactly was he asking? "He'll never be normal, but do you think he'll ever stop these things he does?"

"I don't know," Silas answered, "Kronos tries, and he tries again, but it never seems to keep."

That got Methos to thinking, "one time Mary…" he said the words before he even realized it, it was too late to take them back but he didn't go any further.

"What?" Silas asked, "what did you say?"

No, he realized, he could tell Silas about it, he'd understand…he hoped. "One time I told Mary about Caspian, and I explained to her we couldn't risk getting her near him because it was dangerous. She asked me if he didn't get better, if we would kill him."

"Kronos has several times, it doesn't do anything to him," Silas replied.

"No, I mean taking his head, she wanted to know if we'd kill him if he never changed…"

"Kronos wouldn't do it, not even if he had to," Silas said.

"It would certainly seem that way," Methos thought.

Neither one said anything for a while, but the silence ended when they heard Kronos screaming in agony. Methos jumped out of the bed and he and Silas rushed to find him. Methos hadn't seen where Caspian had been put this time but he gathered from the direction the screams were coming from, that they were close by. Silas followed right behind him and they both came to a sudden stop at the sight before them. Kronos laying on his back, howling like a wounded animal, which he basically was now, with his good hand he clenched his other arm that was bloody with the skin torn and bone showing through. His feet were a mess of black and blue bruises, meaning he was in no position to move, they would have to move him. After acknowledging this fact, Methos realized something else, Caspian was gone.

Methos collapsed beside Kronos and cried as he took in closer observation of his injuries. He pulled himself up and faced Kronos, his injuries were healing slowly, and it seemed he either couldn't scream anymore or during the healing process the pain ceased. Methos wrapped his arms around Kronos' shoulders so not to hurt him any further, and he swore revenge on the man responsible for this.

"We have to get you back to camp, Kronos, we have to…" Methos then realized that it would be impossible for him to do it. Kronos was heavier than he was and Methos couldn't see a way to get him up without touching his injured arm, and even if they could get him up, there was still the matter of his feet which were still in a poor condition. "Silas, can you carry Kronos back?"

"Yes."

"Good, take him back and take care of him the best you can, I'll return later," Methos said.

"What're you going to do, Brother?" Silas asked.

Methos looked down and saw Kronos' sword laying near his body, still sheathed, proving Kronos hadn't a chance to fight back. He picked it up and looked back at Kronos. "Forgive me, Brother, but I have a feeling I'll be needing this more than you."

Kronos nodded weakly, Methos didn't know if he just wasn't talking, or if he couldn't now after all the screaming he'd done. He bid them farewell and took off to find the assailant. Methos realized he had no idea who he was looking for, whether it would be Caspian, or a complete stranger, but right now he didn't care. Kronos had been hurt and he could've been killed, and Methos had to make sure that didn't happen. If it were Caspian, he wouldn't take his head, he'd just make Caspian wish he had. However if it were a stranger on the land, Methos didn't know, nor did he care what would be their fate.


	11. Chapter 11

Methos didn't know where he was going because he'd never been out this way before. But he knew that the man who attacked Kronos had to have come this way because he and Silas would've seen him going in any other direction. He still had no idea what he was going to do when he found the person he was looking for, one thing that was still unsolved was who the attacker was. Caspian was nowhere to be found, and since he already had a history of attacking, or rather trying to attack Kronos, he was an easy choice, however Methos reminded himself they weren't alone. They were right next to a small village, and while they didn't know the people too well, he couldn't imagine any one of them would have a reason to want to hurt them.

He soon found his answer that it wasn't Caspian who attacked when he found his body crumpled and covered in blood, most likely his own, with a knife in his chest. Methos knew at this point that it was useless to look for the man now, he'd obviously gotten away, so he reluctantly ended the manhunt, and removed the knife from Caspian's chest, and waited for him to return to life. It didn't take as long as he had figured, although Caspian seemed surprised to be alive again, which was a rarity for him considering he'd died so many times during Kronos' 'taming' and came back practically screaming for more.

"Surprise, you're not dead yet," Methos told him.

His patience run dry, he jerked Caspian to his feet when he didn't get up quickly enough. "Allright Caspian, I can't get any answers from Kronos right now so I'm going to get them from you, and you better answer or you're going to die again today. What happened?"

Caspian looked as if he didn't understand Methos, but he knew Caspian well enough to know it was an act, he shook him violently as he tried again. "It's damn well plain to see that you didn't attack Kronos, THEN yourself…somebody came and did it, who was it?"

He wouldn't answer so Methos upped the risk by planting the same knife right at Caspian's throat, the blade a fraction of an inch away from his neck. "I know you think I won't go through with it because Kronos wouldn't allow it, well Kronos isn't in charge now and he's not here, and I _will_ kill you and I'll do it however many times it takes until you answer. If you think I won't do it you just keep acting stubborn and see just _what_ I will do."

Caspian must not have thought he was serious because he still refused to answer, so Methos did the first thing that came to mind. A quick slash across the neck, too shallow to really cause much damage but it was enough to finally draw some panic into Caspian. Methos furthered the attack too quickly for him to respond, slicing into his shoulder, then dragging it down through his chest and over to his ribs. The pain made him howl like the wounded beast he was, sounding more animal than human. Methos didn't pay much mind to it, but figured it was a good enough start, and he put the knife away and grabbed Caspian by his arms just under his shoulders so he couldn't get away. "Now," Methos hissed, "are you going to tell me what happened, or do I continue?"

When Caspian didn't answer fast enough, Methos plunged the knife into his abdomen and Caspian fell to the ground. Methos knelt down next to his body and grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him up a bit. "We can do this all day and night if that's how you want to go about it…so you better decide what it's going to be once you've healed this time."

* * *

Clearly Caspian wasn't going to cooperate anytime soon, so Methos carried out his threats, and it was several hours later when Caspian finally showed any signs of giving in. His blood had stained the ground beneath him several times over, by now most had dried and left the sand near black.

"Well Caspian, are you going to start talking or do I keep this going well into the night?" Methos asked.

Apparently Caspian had had his fill of slaughter for the day, so he told Methos that two men, both mortals, had come out of nowhere and attacked. Kronos had just untied Caspian so he had been able to chase after them, but when he'd actually caught up with them, they'd killed him. Methos thought the story unlikely but decided Kronos would be well enough to answer if he was telling the truth or not, so he jerked Caspian to his feet and they turned around and headed back to camp. Caspian was still weak from all the attacks so was too weak to resist being taken back, not that Methos figured he'd be much for arguing right now anyway.

* * *

By the time they finally returned to camp, the sky was starting to turn colors as the sun began to set. Methos kept a tight grip on Caspian's arm and called for Silas, he came from Kronos' tent and at Methos' command, took Caspian over to his own. He was going to make sure Caspian didn't escape, and Methos was going to see how Kronos was doing.

Kronos was laid out in his bed, he looked asleep but Methos knew better than that, he was most likely more exhausted than anything, but he certainly wasn't asleep.

"Kronos."

One eye slowly opened, and soon the other eye joined it, indeed a lot had been taken out of him, to still be tired this much later in the day. "Methos," he called in a low, tired voice as he attempted to pull himself up so he was sitting up instead of laying flat.

Methos slowly approached him, taking in the dazed look of his brother. "You look surprised to see me."

Kronos weakly nodded, Methos made his way over to him and laid him back against the furs. "What happened, Kronos? I've never seen you take this long to recover."

He was surprised when the seemingly lethargic Immortal grabbed him by the wrists. "Let me take a good look at you," Kronos said.

That whole ordeal was an oddity in itself, and Methos tried to find some reasoning to it. "What did you think, Kronos, that I wouldn't return?"

"All I know is what happened to me, and that was a short attack, it was short because it occurred on our grounds, when you left you placed yourself on their grounds, and they would have an advantage over you then."

Now came the part Methos hated more than anything, the dreaded truth of the matter. "I didn't find them."

Kronos noticed the blood on Methos hands and his clothes, and he thought for a moment. "You found Caspian then."

"Yes…and now I know why you're always so bloody after punishing him, he takes most any form of torture, and it doesn't seem to do anything to him."

"Indeed…in fact I think I know why not much of _anything_ seems to have any effect on him," Kronos said.

"What?"

"We share similar pasts in that we were captives, and slaves, and all have suffered through many different forms of torture, but you'll notice that of the three of us, you and I seem to be the only ones to come out of it still normal."

"Normal? Us?" Methos asked.

"Well, as normal as we can get…you know that we're effected differently—more than he is, a lot gets to us that doesn't to him. I think when he was still a captive, he just learned to hold out, to not give the captors the satisfaction of seeing him suffer. Oh yes they could tear him up, make bones show through open flesh, kill him several times, each more painful than the last…but I think at some point he just quit responding to it so it wouldn't be as amusing to them."

"I see," Methos said, "we're not quite as hardened to it as he is."

"And let's hope we never do," Kronos added, "Caspian alone like that is enough, we don't need to become as crazy as he is."

"Well then what are we going to do with him?" Methos asked.

"Don't worry, Methos…Caspian is stubborn, and he may have lasted through the torture methods of mortals, but we know a few different ways to make him cooperate, he's stubborn, but it's not impossible to make a punishment stick with him."

"I don't really care anymore, I'm too tired to care, I'm just glad to be back."

"I'm glad you're back, too, I was worried," Kronos said.

"You were worried? Don't you have any faith in me?" Methos asked in a mock-hurt tone.

"Of course I do, but I also know that you would've been outnumbered, and mortal or not, they could've killed you, just as they could've killed me."

That brought something to mind for Methos. "Caspian told me when it happened, after they left, he went after them."

Kronos grunted, "I don't recall _seeing_ too much stuff at the time, I suppose that's right, they were quick about the attack."

"Then why didn't they attack Caspian too?" Methos asked.

"If I remember it right, he wasn't where they could see him, and being mortal they wouldn't know otherwise that he was there…and when they left, he went after them."

"Then they killed him," Methos added.

Then the realization hit him that though they were mortals, they could've just as easily taken his head…as they could've Kronos' head. The idea of that possibility made him suddenly urge to get much closer to his Brother to know for a fact that he wasn't a dream. Methos slipped his arms under Kronos' back and lowered his head on his chest and closed his eyes and sighed. Kronos thought Methos had just been missing him since he'd been gone most of the day, but then he felt something wet drip down his shoulder, and the initial shock of it was enough to almost make him jump out of his skin.

"Methos, what's the matter?"

Methos moved away so he lay beside Kronos instead of on top of him. "I should have found them…I should have _killed_ them. But they're still alive, still out there somewhere, and they'll come back…they should be dead by now…_you_ could be dead right now because of them."

"But I'm not," Kronos replied.

"But you could be…we could have lost you, Kronos…"

Kronos rested his hands on Methos' shoulders and pulled him up to face him. "But you didn't, I'm still here…and now you're back and you're allright, and that's all that matters."

But Methos didn't seem to hear him, his words didn't calm him, if anything, Methos became worse.

"Kronos I'm sorry, I should've found them, I should've killed them…they'll come back."

Kronos held Methos and stroked the back of his head and tried to soothe him. "Let them come, we'll be waiting for them, and four of us against the two of them, we can't lose."

"But what they did to you…you're still weak…"

Kronos laughed, "I'm weak because I've done nothing but worry about you all day. I'm also weak because all I've done is lay in this bed, Silas wouldn't let me get out all day because he thought I'd try to chase after you, and truth, I probably would've…but I'm allright now that you're back, so now we just have to calm you down."

Kronos rolled him over so he was laying on the bed, and he got up to get another tunic for Methos, and the water basin to clean him. Methos had calmed some since hearing that, but he still felt he'd failed Kronos.

"Caspian was dead, he wouldn't be going anywhere, I should've gone on…if I had then we wouldn't be discussing this…you remember when we took on those soldiers, same tribe as the ones that killed Mary, I killed 3 mortals and took the head of their leader. If I could do that I should be able to kill 2 mortals who hurt my brother."

Kronos wanted to laugh, as serious as it was to Methos at the time, he couldn't have cared about the whole manner, and the moping look on Methos' face was too much, he couldn't resist giving Methos a hard time.

"You're cute," he said, and laughed at the horrified look that replaced the mope on Methos' face. Then he became a bit more serious. "Methos, you can't compare how well you did this time to last time, I know you're not much of a fighter but in time you'll realize that every fight ends differently. But don't worry, I have no doubt we'll win the fight next time they come."

_If there is a next time_, Methos thought.

* * *

Over the next few days very little happened. Caspian didn't come out of his tent much and wouldn't speak much to anyone, and Methos suddenly felt a strong urge to stay near Kronos, and in turn of that, didn't leave his side too much during those days. Kronos didn't mind, he wouldn't admit it quite as much as it was true, but he enjoyed it. He didn't pretend that Methos' company was a burden, but he didn't let on to how much he actually enjoyed his company. Methos during that time found little to enjoy, he was constantly worried that the men would return, and with a whole tribe, and they would be outnumbered…just like his dream the night before the attack. But he didn't dare tell Kronos about it lest he think Methos was crazy.

One night however, Methos decided it was time to ask Kronos something that he felt he deserved an answer to. He waited until they were the only ones up, and both in his tent about to fall asleep, Methos decided at that time that he couldn't wait any longer.

"Kronos."

"Hmm?"

"There's something that I've been wondering since the…attack."

Kronos opened one eye and looked over at him. "Yes?"

Methos pushed back the furs and the blankets and moved out and sat up and looked over at Kronos. "…Do you know them?"

"What?"

"I mean, did you meet them somewhere and that's how they knew where to find you?" Methos asked.

Kronos opened both eyes and sat up and looked over to him. "It's possible, I come across a lot of people when I ride."

"But why would they come after you for no reason? Especially being mortal, they wouldn't want your head."

"Why does any person want another dead? For money? For a woman? To resolve who is right in an argument? Mortals go after other mortals for that, why shouldn't they come after us for the same reasons? They don't know we're different, to them we're just regular people like the ones they slaughter already."

"So then you didn't do anything to them to start?" Methos asked.

"What would give you an idea like that?" Kronos asked.

"I don't know – nothing…forget it."

Methos moved to get back to his side of the bed but Kronos was too fast, he grabbed Methos by his ankles and pulled him back to his side.

"Methos, if something is bothering you, I want to know, allright?"

Methos nodded.

"It doesn't matter what you want to know, I'm not going to hurt you, you do know that don't you?"

Methos nodded again. "I know……the reason I asked is because _if_ you did do something to give them a reason to come after you…a lot of times when something happens to one person, they track the person responsible and do back to them everything they did in the first place. And if those men are planning to do a certain thing to us, I'd like to know what to expect."

Kronos nodded in understanding. "You don't have anything to worry about with that, Methos, because I didn't do anything to give those two any reason to come after us. They just have."

"But why us?" Methos asked, "We live alone, there's a whole village just over from here…why not terrorize them?"

"Only they know that, but don't worry, Methos, if they come back, but I doubt they will, we'll be ready for them."

"Why do you think they won't?"

"Because by their expectations, Caspian and I should already be dead…and I'm guessing they don't know about you and Silas. So if they _did_ come back, imagine their surprise before they die."

"They might come back still," Methos thought, "come for anything we might've had worth anything."

"I don't know, we don't have much and that would be plain to see for anybody," Kronos said, "but it's nothing to worry about tonight, Methos, try to go to sleep."

"I'll try, Kronos…I'll try…but I'm afraid."

Kronos smiled on one side of his mouth, smoothed back the bangs on Methos' face and kissed him on the forehead. "You don't need to be…nothing will happen."

Methos believed Kronos, he made himself believe it. Neither of them could have known at the time how wrong he was.

* * *

Several more days passed with no interruption from the outside world, and life for the four Brothers returned to what they knew to be normal. Silas found large pieces of wood spared from burning and whittled animals from them, dogs and birds mostly, Caspian everyone knew to leave alone to whatever it was that he did by himself, and Methos and Kronos inquired about each other's lives before meeting.

"When was the last time you were with a woman?" Kronos asked.

"How do you mean?"

"At all…I'm not necessarily asking when the last time you bedded one was, just when the last time was you had one's company."

"This doesn't count when I was a slave, does it?" Methos asked.

"No…I don't mean by force."

Methos had to think. "A long time…" he laughed, "not too many women would pick me over other men."

"How come?"

"Because I look funny."

Kronos looked him over briefly. "I can't see that you'd look that funny."

Methos laughed again, "Maybe not to you, but try seeing me through a woman's eyes."

That was proven a task impossible for Kronos to do, though it made both of them laugh until they were on the ground and couldn't breathe.

"When you put it that way, I suppose I can see it."

"There were a few…they were nice, but they never stayed with me long," Methos remembered, "and others…" he laughed sadly, "if they didn't leave me for another man, they died not long after we were together. What there was when we _were_ together was nice, but…"

Too much time had passed since he had been with a woman, one who he didn't have to please if he was to live. Kronos could tell that much.

"Some day, Methos," he promised, "some day we'll find you another woman."

"Not by force," Methos said.

That was something that Methos was very critical of, and Kronos understood, he'd been a slave many times, been taken against his will by men, women, anyone who would pay the price, and then by his master at the end of it all. It wasn't important to them if he was hurt, they seemed to count on it sometimes, as if it gave them pleasure watching him in pain. Kronos called that a power move, a constant reminder to him of who was in control of what happened to him. And after suffering such a fate, Methos didn't want anything to do with it again…

"No, not by force," Kronos replied, "but just find somebody who you can be with…someone who can make you happy…someone…"

"Someone who doesn't already have a husband, or a man twice my size and weight," Methos added.

Kronos laughed, "That too…"

"What about you?" Methos asked, "After Ira…did you meet any other women?"

"No…well…yes, there was one…but…"

"But what?" Methos asked.

"It was not a pleasant way we met…I had been wandering for a while, drunk on some bad wine…she worked in a tavern, and she came out and found me…and at that time, I threw up before I passed out."

Methos laughed, "and then what?"

"She took me to an upstairs room in the tavern, put me to bed, I stayed for a day and a night, and I left the next morning…it can't really count for much."

"I have another question," Methos said, "how did you meet Silas?"

"Oh pretty much the same way, I'd been traveling for a long time, so long I'd lost track of time, it was not a pleasant journey, little to drink, even less to eat…by the time I actually met him I bore quite a resemblance to an animal. We started to fight but I was too weak to even stand up for long, so he ended the fight, he took me back with him and took care of me until I was well again. He's a good one, you can trust him."

Methos nodded. "I know…"

Methos leaned back, stretched and yawned, it was late in the morning but he was still tired.

"Did you sleep last night?" Kronos asked.

"Some…not as much as I usually do."

That told Kronos everything he needed to know, before Methos could protest, Kronos was laying him down on the bed and covering him up. Methos tried to tell him that it wasn't necessary, but Kronos wouldn't have it, he told Methos to rest while he went to see what the others were doing. Methos closed his eyes only so Kronos would leave, after he had gone, Methos opened them again and stretched out. In truth he could put up with Kronos' coddling of him even though it wasn't necessary, Kronos insisted and there was no winning against him when he did. No matter, Methos learned a few tricks to get around it, this for instance, when Kronos started Methos learned it was best to let Kronos think he'd won the argument, and then get up again after he had gone. However today he actually was tired, so he just stayed in bed and looked around the tent.

He had to admit after staying by Kronos' side every day for the past few days, this was starting to get a bit lonely. By now it was practically instinct of him when that happened, he folded his right arm against his chest and ran the fingers of his left hand against the scrap of robe from Mary and took in her scent, faintly feeling she was still with him. Kronos tied it to his right arm every morning and took it off every night and put it somewhere where Caspian wouldn't be able to get to it. Their raids were few and far between, and the ones they had gave them access to much, but none of it could compare to the importance of this one measly scrap of cloth that he hoped to keep for the rest of his life, however long that was.

Methos woke up once and at first had trouble remembering where he was, but after looking around it came back to him. It was Kronos' tent…and Kronos was nowhere to be found. Methos figured he was just over with Silas and Caspian, he wouldn't be able to feel him from that far away. Next, Methos remembered why he woke up, he was thirsty. He got up and poured himself a drink of wine, and if he hadn't been so tired still, he might've noticed the wine had an odd taste to it. But he was tired and just wanted enough of a drink that it wouldn't keep him awake, and once he had that, he went back to bed and stretched out. He'd forgotten how nice it was to be the only one in a bed after spending so many nights with Kronos.

After a short while, the wine seemed to take its effect, and Methos was positive he'd be asleep again with no trouble…and just as he was starting to drift off, he felt something sharp puncture through his back, tear and slice through muscle and bone, and then, it was all over.

* * *

Methos woke up with every part of his body aching. His body had been scrunched up into something of a ball, like an animal, he moved his arms out from under him and stretched his legs out and found the real pain now was coming from his back. It felt as if it had been tied in knots, and if he weren't Immortal he was certain the pain alone would kill him. Kill him? Methos remembered, that's what had happened, somebody had stabbed him. But who?

A chill traveled from his spine clear up to the back of his neck, he had no idea how long he'd been dead, and before that no idea how long he'd slept, whoever it was, they could still be on the grounds. But wait. If they were, wouldn't Kronos and the others have killed them? Or would they have been outnumbered? Before Methos could think of anything else, he grabbed his sword and ran out of there, fearing the worst had happened.

He felt minor relief when he saw that his brothers were nowhere to be found, and their horses were gone as well. That didn't necessarily mean they were alive, but it gave him hope for their sake. But with the fact that they were gone, it brought him many questions, why they left, why all of them, and would they return? Something else that came to mind, if all three of them left, then there couldn't be anyone left here on the grounds who might want to kill them…could there be? The idea of it made him dread being alone, he could be outnumbered just as easily, and there wouldn't be anyone to help him this time. As much as it terrified him having to do it, Methos found himself searching the grounds for any intruders, everywhere he turned he looked for anyone, ready to attack in a heartbeat.

After what must have been hours, Methos had covered the land and found nobody, next he had to look in their tents. In Kronos' tent he found everything still in its place, and nobody in it, Caspian's also had everything just as it was, and no unwanted visitors. Methos got to his own tent and found some things had been thrown across the room, the furs and blankets that served as his bed were tangled up into a mess, and a few things had been broken, nothing worth much to him, but it all was enough to raise his fear that somebody was there who didn't belong there. He found no one in the tent and was now at Silas's tent, even before he stepped in, he could hear someone in it. When he stepped in, he looked every which way but saw nobody, but saw similar amounts of damage as was done to his own tent. As he was looking it over, he heard something again, someone tearing stuff up, Methos swallowed the lump in his throat, gripped the hilt of his sword and said, "Whoever's in here, show yourself now, or die."

He heard something similar to a growl, Methos took a step back to get out in the open to fight, the back of his foot met with a large rock and he slipped and fell backwards. He looked up and was both embarrassed and relieved to find that the intruder in the tent was a rat…no wait, he looked it over better and saw it wasn't a rat, it was a dog…one just strongly resembling a rat. Methos put his sword down and laughed, so this was the trouble maker going through their belongings. He was surprised however that the dog hadn't been to Caspian's tent since he collected a lot of bones, but then he thought either he hadn't gotten to it yet, or he knew better than to go there. The dog came to Methos and rubbed up against him, Methos patted him and stroked his short fir. Oh yes, now he remembered, he'd seen this kind of dog before, people used them to kill rats sometimes, the dogs were friendly to people, but they had a killer instinct around mice.

That gave Methos an idea, Silas enjoyed keeping animals as pets, but the horses aside they hadn't had many over the years, one reason being they kept moving to different grounds, another being if you turned your back on the pet, Caspian was likely to make a meal out of it. But now, Methos decided it was time for Silas to have a pet again, but first things were first, first he had to undo whatever damage could be undone that the dog had done in Silas' tent, so Methos took him over to his own and put him in there, trusting he wouldn't run away. He threw out whatever was broken and promised to tell Silas about it when he got back, and offer to replace it with his own things. He put back whatever was out of place and still in one piece, it was then that something got his attention. He heard something…no, someone, and the terror came back. The people who were speaking were mortal, and Methos wondered if it was the same men his brothers had rode out to fight, and if they were, did that mean that his brothers were dead?

He had no more time to think, he acted, he'd left his sword at the entrance to the tent so he stepped out and picked it up, and followed the voices. He found them, two men, he stayed out of sight while he listened to them, trying to figure out why they had come.

"I can't figure it out," one said, "We struck that man down over a week ago, he should be dead."

"Well he's not dead, is he? There he came riding up good as new, and those two gorillas that followed him…the marked one, he was dead for certain, but he's alive now."

Methos smiled to himself, yep, those were his brothers they were talking about.

"I don't care about what should have happened to him, that beast bedded my wife and he'll pay for it with his life he will," the second man added.

"You've not come for him alone," the first man reminded him, "Archilaus wants him too… and after bedding his daughter, he will be the one to actually kill him."

Methos blinked, Kronos was no angel, but he couldn't imagine him doing such a thing, to two women, and one a daughter, that could make her any age, a child even…no, they were lying, they had to be lying. Kronos said he didn't do anything that they would come after them, Methos believed him, why would Kronos lie to him? That was their story to justify killing Kronos if they caught him, if anybody asked why they did it.

"It doesn't matter," the second one said, "If we don't get him, we'll get the other three he's with, they have to pay for what they've done, all of them."

Methos then looked around to see if the third man, Archilaus was coming, he didn't see or hear anything, so he decided now was the time to do what had to be done. Methos wanted at the moment to be afraid, but he knew that Kronos wouldn't be if he were fighting for him. He held his sword in one hand and removed his knife from its belt with the other, he took a breath and without giving any further thought to what was happening, he charged forth.

* * *

Ten minutes later they were both dead, one man with his throat slit open, the other, his heart had been impaled by the blade of the sword. Methos looked over his work, almost sickly…he didn't feel any remorse for what had happened, he didn't feel terrible in any way, he was enjoying it, he was reveling in his victory. Kronos would have been proud, of that he was certain. At the idea of seeing him, Methos felt the presence of another Immortal, he heard nobody approach, certainly didn't hear any horses, and that told him that he should be afraid, but he wasn't. He turned around and saw the man, he guessed the one they'd called Archilaus, he was about Methos' height, a bit heavier, and he also carried a sword, and going by the look on his face, he was ready to use it.

"What do you want?" Methos demanded to know.

"The one called Kronos, where is he?"

"How is that any of your concern?" Methos asked.

"I'm in no mood for this, if you don't tell me where he is I'll take your head first."

Methos didn't flinch. "Go ahead and try."

The man charged at Methos, he moved out of the way but not far away enough, Archilaus also carried a knife with him, and when Methos moved, it went into his thigh. Methos fell to the ground in agony, and he saw a blade pointed for his throat, he raised his sword in time to block the attack, in that second of a delay he kicked the man in the crotch and he fell to the ground, also dropping his sword, but not before Methos matched him thigh for thigh with his sword. Archilaus reached for his sword but Methos ran the blade of his own sword through the stranger's hand. He screamed in excruciating pain, but Methos didn't listen to it, he pulled the back out, Archilaus rolled over and Methos took that as good a sign of defeat as any and he swung his own blade up and brought it down in a final, deadly blow.

The Quickening was a strong one, not as powerful as some he had taken in the past, but still it wore a lot out of him. When it finally died down, Methos felt too weak to even move much, but after a while he was able to stand up and walk without too much trouble, and he decided to present the three bodies to Kronos as a surprise when he got back. He dragged them one by one around to the back of his tent, and after that he picked up the head of Archilaus and threw that in with the bodies. Then he picked up his sword and knife and took in the blood on the blades, and he took them to the river to wash it off before it dried. Once he finished with that, he was too tired to do much of anything else, so he headed back to Kronos' tent for a drink of wine, and to go back to sleep.

* * *

It was dark when Methos awoke again, this time it was because he heard his brothers return, he felt them come, he heard the horses, he also heard Kronos screaming to the other two. Then he heard his own name being called, and Kronos came charging into the tent, and he stopped and looked surprised to see Methos, a look of relief replaced the one of shock. He called back out to the others, "I've found him! He's in here!" He turned back and plunged at Methos and pinned him to the bed as he got a good look at him. "Oh Methos," he cried as he picked Methos up by the shoulders and kissed him many times. Methos tried to find out what happened but couldn't get a word out because every time he tried, Kronos kissed him again. It seemed every inch to his face that he could get to, he kissed, and Methos was about to drown from it all. He pushed Kronos back, surprised by that by now he actually still had any lips left, and he asked him, "What's the matter, Kronos? What happened?"

"Methos, I'm sorry…"

"What for? What have you done to be sorry?" Methos asked.

"You were right, the men did come back. I found you dead, with a knife plunged into your back, and I found them but they were already too far away to catch. So I went after them, they saw that I wasn't dead even though I should be, and they were determined to escape. I left Silas and Caspian to stay and take care of you, but another man came, and Immortal, and he wanted your head, but they wouldn't let him. They were ready to fight but he took off on his horse and led them on a chase…and by night, they caught up with me, and we were all lost. By morning we found their camp, only to find them already leaving, and they got away before we could catch them. We realized it was a wild chase to get us away from you, so we came back, but they were expecting that and set traps to slow us down." Tears were streaming down Kronos' face now, and Methos was genuinely scared by it. "I was terrified that they would've killed you by the time we got back…I would've died if that happened…Methos I'm sorry…"

Kronos held close to Methos as he told him what happened, Methos slipped one arm around to Kronos' back and tried to comfort his brother. "Kronos, it's allright, I'm alive, they didn't hurt me."

"No, but they could've, they had an easy chance. Methos I'm sorry and I swear to you I won't leave you again."

"It's allright, Kronos, please don't cry, you know how much it hurts me when you do."

"I'm just so glad to see you're allright," Kronos said.

Methos was confused. "If you're so happy, why are you still crying?"

Kronos laughed and kissed him again, Methos after having been kissed already about a hundred times since Kronos found him, was tired of it but decided it was better than him crying. He rolled Kronos over onto the bed and got him a drink, the realization hit Methos that Kronos and the others had been gone since yesterday, and it was almost night now, they all must have been near dead with exhaust. He tilted Kronos' head back and placed the goblet to his lips, the first bit went down roughly, but the rest passed smoothly.

"Thank you," Kronos murmured, Methos was certain he was half asleep already.

"Everything's allright, Kronos, it's over," Methos told him as he drew the furs up around him, "go to sleep, you've earned your rest."

Kronos turned over and closed his eyes, and Methos decided to leave him alone so he could sleep. He left the tent and headed out a ways when he heard Silas call him, and he saw Silas running up to him and he locked Methos in a tight bear hug and lifted him off the ground, again.

"It's good to see you too, Silas," he said.

Silas put him back down and eased his hold on him. "It's good to see _you_, Methos. We were worried."

A small smile formed on Methos' face. "There's no reason to be worried, I'm allright."

"So I see, I'm glad you are."

After Silas, Methos found himself face to face with Caspian, he expected nothing, nothing good anyway. He half murmured something to Caspian, expecting to be on his way from there, but Caspian surprised him and quickly locked him in a tight embrace also, and Methos was worried.

"What's the matter?" he asked Caspian.

But Caspian wouldn't answer him, instead he let go and stepped back, and said to Methos, "It's good to see you're still alive."

Methos was beginning to get the idea that he missed out on a lot the last couple of days. Whatever happened it must have been something serious if Caspian was happy to see him. But it didn't matter anymore, it was all over, he'd taken care of that himself, and they would soon know that.

* * *

Methos had gone back to his own tent and found the dog asleep in his bed, so he picked it up and carried it over to Silas' tent, and he stood outside for a minute, and called in, "Silas, can I come in?"

"Of course, what brings you here?"

"I have something for you," he said.

"For me?" Silas sounded surprised.

Methos stepped in with the dog in his arms and he showed him to Silas. "I found him here today…he seemed to rather like it here so I thought maybe you'd want him."

Before Methos got a chance to explain that'd broken a few things, Silas took the dog and looked him over. "He's a small one, but then again…" Silas looked him over closer, "he looks like a rat."

"I know," Methos said, "I've seen people use dogs like this one to kill the rats."

Silas seemed to like the sound of that. "Does that mean he'll attack Caspian, too?"

Silas wasn't too bright, but he had a theory about Caspian. He didn't act fully human so they believed him to be part human, part animal, which would justify calling him a cannibal since he ate both, where animals were concerned, the ones he fancied best were the rats, unfortunately those were often the ones Silas had taken for pets. That had each other's blades at the other's throats, but Kronos broke it up very quickly each time. However that was another reason why Silas hadn't kept many pets over the years, a dog however, could be different.

"Maybe," Methos replied, "uh…he broke a few things when he was in here earlier…"

Silas looked up at Methos surprised, he then looked around the tent to see what was ruined or missing.

"What's gone can be replaced," Methos told him, "I can give you my…"

Silas turned back to him and shook his head. "That's allright, Methos, you don't need to do that, you've already given me enough," he held the dog to his chest to empathize his words.

"I'm glad you like him…I have to go see Kronos now, I have a surprise for him too…I'll see you in the morning."

"Thank you, Brother."

Methos left without another word and went back to Kronos' tent, he was still asleep but Methos decided it was a good time to wake him up. He knelt down beside Kronos and poked him in the stomach, that got his attention and he sat up. "What is it, Methos?"

"Are you feeling better?" Methos asked.

"Yes."

"Do you want to take a walk?"

"Where to?" Kronos asked.

"My tent, I have a surprise for you there."

"A surprise for me?" Kronos asked, "Uh oh…what's wrong?"

"Nothing, that's why I want you to see it," Methos said. He didn't wait for Kronos to answer, he was already pulling him to his feet.

"Allright, take me to it then," Kronos was still half asleep, so Methos had to lead the way.

Methos walked him over to his tent and laid him down in his bed, and he disappeared for a moment, only to return with one of the corpses. Kronos saw it through half-closed eyes and thought he was seeing things. "What's that?" he asked.

"One of the men sent to kill you…kill _us_," Methos corrected himself.

Kronos' eyes were wide open now and he got up only to fall back onto the bed. "Methos, what happened?"

"Please, don't say anything yet, there's more."

Methos brought back a second body, and Kronos recognized him as well. He tried to say something again, but Methos disappeared a third time and Kronos couldn't think what he would be bringing around this time.

He got the answer in two pieces, first a severed head was tossed in, and before he could recover from the shock of that, Methos hauled in the body it belonged to.

"Is that it?" Kronos asked.

"Yes," Methos huffed in an attempt to catch his breath.

"Good, now I can say what I wanted to…" he got up and this time stayed on his feet, "WHAT HAPPENED HERE?"

Methos answered very calmly, "Today, I woke up and found everyone was gone…and not long after that, I heard men coming…the first two came, and I heard them talking, they and their leader, Archilaus, were looking for us to kill us…one of these men says you bedded his wife, and the other said you also bedded Archilaus' daughter…but I didn't believe them…it isn't true, is it?"

"Of course not."

"I didn't think so…anyway, they said they were going to wait until you came back to kill you…but I killed them first."

Kronos looked back at the bodies and couldn't believe it. "You killed all three of them?"

"These two first, Archilaus followed them…"

Kronos looked at his body in particular, "he was…"

"You never saw Archilaus did you?" Methos asked.

"No."

"He was Immortal…he was looking for you."

"What did you do?" Kronos asked.

"He said if I didn't tell him where you were, he'd take my head also, so we fought…"

"Did he hurt you?" Kronos asked.

"Oh no, it was a very quick fight…and now, here they are. I wanted to surprise you with them when you got back. So now you know that you don't have to worry about them anymore."

Kronos looked at him for a while as if he didn't know what to think, then he suddenly found standing up to be too risky, he dropped back onto the bed and Methos saw a horrified look on his face. Methos was at his side in a heartbeat, demanding to know what was the matter. Kronos looked at him and he said, "Nothing…nothing at all…I'm just glad you're allright."

He reached for Methos, but Methos moved back and said, "Don't kiss me again!"

Kronos laughed and replied, "Once more."

Methos groaned and cringed as Kronos pulled him close and kissed him on the cheek.

"You never cease to amaze me, Brother…"

"Kronos, will you ever stop worrying about me?"

Kronos shook his head, "No…are you were going to stop worrying about me?"

Methos shook his head. "Then I suppose that makes us even…now to bury the bodies."

"Why bother?" Kronos asked.

"What?"

"We only bury people worth it, remember? These three, we'll get rid of the bodies, but we're not putting them in the ground."

"What did you have in mind, then?" Methos asked.

* * *

Methos found out what Kronos had in mind soon enough, they dragged the bodies out to the middle of the grounds where there was nothing else close by. Kronos went back to his tent and came back with a bowl and a torch, in the bowl was some oil from the lamp, he poured it over the bodies, and Methos stood back and awaited what came next. He waited for Kronos to thrust the blazing torch onto the corpses, but he didn't, instead, he turned to Methos and handed the torch and the responsibility over to him. Methos still wasn't as brutal to enemies as Kronos was, even if they were dead, he had to close his eyes and deeply breathe in before he did it. He stepped forward and rammed the torch forth, when the fire reached the body on top he dropped the torch and stood back.

To watch the bodies burn was an experience far beyond actually watching the true evil that was the men die. Methos was in awe as he watched the flames spread, their clothes burnt to cinders, the flesh seemed to dissolved under the fire and the bodies turned black. The odor of burnt flesh brought back memories of some experiences he thought he'd left dead in his mind. It made him want to turn away but he couldn't, his eyes couldn't look at anything other than these bodies being reduced to bones before them, the oil made their flesh burn easier in the fire, so it was not an ordinary burning, at least none that he'd seen before.

Silas and Caspian also watched, both from a greater distance than Methos and Kronos. For them it was a sign of victory, the enemy was dead and couldn't come back, and after tonight not even the bodies would be left as a reminder. Not that it mattered, Methos would have reminder enough, the odor of the burning flesh burnt his nose, and the smoke hurt his eyes so much they filled with tears, and that pain would carry through the whole night and into the next morning as well. But that didn't matter much to him, what did matter was the sight that was causing it, these three men, complete strangers to them, who had set out to kill them, a surprise attack at every turn…the perfect plan, only the victims were alive and the murderers were not.

Kronos placed a hand on Methos' shoulder and said to him, "It's a glorious sight, don't you agree, Brother?"

Methos didn't speak but he agreed, these were dangerous times and no matter where you went, you were bound to leave a bloody trail behind you, and if you didn't, you'd start one soon enough. He found that he would rather leave that bloody trail that be part of it left behind. They didn't go looking for enemies but plenty they had all the same, and it was kill or be killed, and Methos wanted to live. That's exactly what he had done he finally realized, he'd killed his brothers' killers, and kept them all alive.

He still wasn't as good a fighter as Kronos, he'd seen Kronos fight, they weren't always fast, sometimes the fights lingered, but through them all Kronos never showed any sign of weakening. Methos had to rely on speed and trickery in order to win, but he figured maybe it wouldn't always be so. He hoped one day to be as good as his Brother, and maybe then Kronos wouldn't worry about him when he fought. But in order to do that he needed to stay alive.

_Yes,_ Methos thought, _that's exactly what I must do…live…grow stronger…fight another day._


	12. Chapter 12

The next morning, Methos was in bed and showed no sign of leaving it anytime soon. During the night, the full effect of the Quickening had set in, and while that was relatively new to him again, he remembered all too well what it was like, and this was the part he always hated. After the Quickening died down it left an Immortal exhausted, and aroused, why that was he was never able to figure out, but right now it was leaving him in both pain and embarrassment, and he wasn't getting out of bed until it had settled through his body and was over, but however long that would take, he also didn't know.

Once again, he was alone in bed, Kronos had rode out early in the morning, once again, no word on where he was going, he never told anybody where he went. What made it odd though was he didn't bother to tell Methos when he would be back, he usually gave him at least that so he'd have an idea of when to expect him. He was both relieved and upset that Kronos was gone, on one hand, at least he didn't have to know what Methos was going through, but on the other hand, he'd taken more heads lately since Methos had, and Methos hadn't ever seen Kronos get like this, maybe he knew something about it all that Methos didn't. But it didn't matter because he was gone now, and he wasn't about to talk to Silas or Caspian about his problem, that in mind, he rolled onto his side and quickly found that to be a mistake, then rolled back onto his back and tried to go to sleep.

* * *

It was night when he heard Kronos return, but he didn't get out of bed or even try to get up to meet him. Kronos entered the tent and looked him over.

"Have you been in bed all day again?" he asked.

Methos nodded.

"What's the matter, aren't you feeling well?" Kronos asked.

Methos hesitated answering.

"What is it, Methos?" Kronos asked.

He was almost too embarrassed to answer. "You know what happens after taking a Quickening?"

"Yes," Kronos responded, "I'm well aware of how uncomfortable that can be, that's why I got something to help you." And on that note, he turned and left the tent.

"Help?" Methos repeated, "The only thing that could help me would be…"

He got the answer when Kronos came back in with a lady on his arm.

"A woman," Methos finished.

She was a bit shorter than Kronos, her hair was reddish-brown and had been hacked off almost entirely, her skin was light though not as pale as his own, and she wore a large tunic that almost went down to her feet, and she was smiling at him, she looked like she was really enjoying this.

"Methos, this is Ruth, say hello."

"Hel-lo," he said, he was pretty much dumbstruck seeing a woman, and a beautiful one at that, standing in front of him.

She giggled, "It's nice to meet you, Methos, your brother's told me quite a bit about you."

"Oh really…"

"I'll leave you two alone now," Kronos grinned sinisterly as he turned and left.

Methos got out of bed and started after him. "Kronos wait," but Kronos was already long gone by the time Methos got out of the tent. He gave up and headed back in, what had his brother gotten him into now? He turned back around and came face to face with the woman.

"So, what exactly did Kronos tell you?" he asked.

"Oh a lot, when he brought me here, he told me that he hoped to find a good woman for you since you've been without one for so long. He also told me that you'd been with some women who hurt you, so he wanted to really make sure that another one like them didn't just slither in and hurt you again. He's a very protective brother, is he younger or older than you?"

"Younger actually," Methos replied.

"He seems more like an older brother, they're usually _very_ protective of their younger siblings."

"So how did he pick you?" Methos asked.

"I really don't know," she nervously admitted, "he just picked me and brought me with him."

"Well Kronos usually knows what he's doing, he probably knows more about picking a right woman than I would," Methos said.

"Well, he said to make sure that I took _really_ good care of you," she told Methos.

"What exactly did he mean by that?" Methos asked.

Ruth stepped right over to him and before Methos knew it, her hands were sliding up under his tunic. He about jumped out of his skin but succeeded in getting back a ways. "Don't do that," he said.

She just smiled, "Kronos said to make sure you were well taken care of, and he gave me a few ideas of what he meant by that."

She walked up to him again and thrust her hand under the tunic, he stepped back again, but he tripped and fell backwards. Ruth took that opportunity to remove her tunic, she bent over to pick it up from the bottom and slowly brought it up and took it off, revealing her full figure, and after Methos was a witness to that, he passed out.

* * *

Methos woke up to Kronos standing over him, grinning. "Well, Brother, this must be quite a night for you, it seems you wore out before Ruth gave you any reason to."

Methos got to his feet and once he was up, he looked Kronos in the eyes and said, "We had a deal, Kronos, not by force, that's not what I wanted…"

"And it isn't," Kronos replied.

"No? What do you call bringing her here just to be a catamite, to 'take care of me'?" Methos asked, "It's very obvious what you had in mind when you told her that."

"Methos, we both know that the aftermath of a Quickening is nothing pleasant, especially if you're alone…and I was going to bring her here anyway, so I decided to make it well worth your while."

"What do you mean you were already bringing her here?" Methos asked.

"If I didn't bring her with me, she would've been killed."

"What?" Methos' eyes got about as wide as they could without popping out of his head.

"She was with a tribe of people who were going to put her to death," Kronos explained, "Very superstitious folk…thought she was a witch."

"Why?" Methos asked.

"Because every so often a woman bleeds and is ordered away from the tribe and away from everyone until it's over and she's announced clean again…apparently, no other woman in the tribe has bled, I've seen a few of the others, they looked near death truth be told."

"Really?"

"Oh yes, absolutely no weight to them, their bones were sticking out of every place on their bodies, their eyes already look dead when they look at you, Ruth was the only one there who actually looked like she'll live through the night. It wasn't that she wouldn't leave, they had never seen a woman in the tribe bleed before, and by the looks of the others, I don't think their bodies have blood to spare. They think it's a sign of evil, that she's a witch or something, and so they decided to send her back to Hell where they say she belongs."

Everything was starting to come together for Methos to understand, "And that's when you rode in on your horse, saved her from her own people, and brought her here."

"Yes…and she also knows what it's like to be a slave, just as you were, the only difference is she is mortal so wasn't treated as horribly as you were," Kronos said, "She wants to be with a man who won't hurt her, just as you want to be with a woman who won't hurt you, so where's the problem?"

"I just can't…I…"

"What's the matter now?" Kronos asked.

"Would you believe me if I said she looks like you when she's undressed?" Methos asked.

"What?" Kronos laughed.

"I don't mean _exactly_ like you but very similar in build, and I don't mind telling you that it's embarrassing to even think about it, sleeping with a woman who looks like your brother."

Kronos didn't believe him and thought Methos was only nervous since it'd been so long since he was with a woman. So he took Methos by the arm and dragged him back to his tent with Methos protesting and trying to get loose the entire time. Once they reached the tent, they found her sitting on the floor.

"Is something wrong?" Ruth asked.

"No…" Kronos answered, "It's just been so long for my brother, he's embarrassed, he forgets what to do."

"Well don't worry about that," she said, "I can make him remember real quick."

Any other man that would have excited, Methos it had ready to run out of the tent, but Kronos grabbed him before he could.

"Settle down, Methos."

"No, I don't want to do this, I don't, I don't, I…"

"What is the matter with you?" Kronos asked, "You'd think you were going to the slaughter instead of about to lay with a woman."

"Not to worry, Kronos," Ruth said as she walked up to them, "I'm very good at what I do, you just leave your brother to me, he'll be allright."

"Now Methos, you're not going to try and run away, are you?" Kronos asked.

Methos shook his head, it wouldn't do him any good to run.

"Good, now lay down," he said as he pushed Methos down onto his bed, "And have a good time," he almost laughed as he said it. He turned to leave, "See you in the morning," he chuckled sinisterly as he walked out.

Ruth made sure Methos wouldn't get up and leave by throwing herself onto his body, and indeed she was built very much like Kronos, even about as heavy as he was, so Methos couldn't get her off of him.

"Now just relax," she said before he could make a sound. She rested her hands on his chest and hovered above him briefly. "And like your brother said, have a good time."

* * *

Methos woke up after what he imagined to be a rather long sleep, feeling both relieved, and like he'd been hit with a wild boar. He tried to shake it off and remember what had happened last night, when he got the answer laying in bed right beside him. Ruth, still passed out, no doubt exhausted herself, and everything that had happened last night came crashing on Methos like a rock on the head. He got himself out of bed and when he saw she wasn't getting up anytime soon, he left, he was in a minor shock over what had happened. Part he could remember, part he couldn't, and another part he wasn't sure if he wanted to.

Kronos himself had just gotten up a little while ago, and was still in the process of waking up, but when he felt another Immortal nearby and looked out of his tent, he saw Methos, seeming sort of dazed, and stumbling around on the grounds, and that was enough to wake him up entirely.

Methos was still in shock and so didn't notice things as quickly as he ordinarily would, which made it very easy for him to get tackled by Kronos. He screamed and clawed and tried to get up and away from him, but Kronos had him tangled up in a blanket from the bed, and had both ends of it pulled behind Methos so he couldn't get out of it. And with that, Kronos took Methos into his tent and pushed him onto the bed, laughing like he was drunk.

"Methos, don't you know you shouldn't be going around with no clothes on so early in the day? You'll freeze that way."

He about made himself sick from laughing at the fact of it all.

"Well I'm glad you're enjoying this," Methos bitterly replied.

"So, can I take it you had a good time last night?" Kronos asked.

"Kronos, I'm scared…I really can't remember what I did last night, and I'm worried I might've hurt Ruth and not even know it."

"Did she say anything?" Kronos asked.

Methos shook his head, "She's still asleep, I think."

"You think? Methos, you'd know if she were dead."

"What if she's just knocked out?" Methos asked.

"I'll go look, and while I'm at it, I'll get your clothes," Kronos said.

Methos' heart was beating harder than he ever remembered, he was dreading what Kronos would say when he returned. He had a good while to think about it, Kronos was gone longer than Methos expected he would be. Finally he returned with his clothes in hand and he said to Methos, "It's a good thing you're Immortal, otherwise you'd worry yourself to death."

"What?"

"Ruth is fine…though she would like to know what's the matter with you this morning," Kronos explained.

He helped get Methos out of the tangled mess of the blanket and handed him his clothes. "She's really allright? I didn't do anything to her?"

"Oh she says you did plenty," Kronos grinned sinisterly, "But of them all, hurting her wasn't one of them."

"Good."

Kronos laughed, "It's too bad we can't get a priest over here, I have an idea that you two would be _just_ perfect for each other."

Methos cocked his head to the side. "What?"

"Well I know last night was a rough one, but after the first time you know pretty much how things go, I think you'll really be up for it tonight."

"Tonight?" Methos repeated, "After last night, I doubt I'll be any good for that."

Kronos laughed, "Well then Ruth was right, she does know what she's doing."

"What'd you mean too bad we can't get a priest over here?" Methos asked.

They looked at each other for a minute and Methos realized what he was saying, but Kronos didn't let on so much that he knew it also. "One wouldn't stand a chance over here with all of us, it's going to be an obstacle enough keeping Caspian away from Ruth."

"I hadn't thought of that," Methos realized with great horror.

With that, Methos tore out of there and ran back to his own tent, and on the way back, he heard Ruth screaming and knew he was already there. He ran in and was just in time to see Caspian grab her by the arm and jerk her backwards to him, he clenched his fingernails into her arms and when she screamed in response to the pain, she was met by a very brutal kiss. It all happened too fast for Methos to respond, he barely was able to see it as it happened because after a couple of seconds, Ruth broke loose from his grip and brought up her foot and kicked Caspian in the crotch, sending him backwards and screaming like a banshee. Methos ran over to Ruth and took her in his arms and they both looked back at Caspian as he slowly got up and limped out of the tent, growling curses all the way. He passed by Kronos who only looked on at him completely dumbstruck, he went into the tent to make sure everything was allright.

"What did he do to you?" Kronos demanded to know when he saw the bloody trails running down her arms.

"I'll be fine," she replied, "It's nothing that hasn't happened before."

"Well it hasn't happened _here_ before," Kronos said.

"What made you think to do _that_?" Methos asked.

"I haven't survived as long as I have by being stupid," Ruth told them as Methos washed the blood off and pressed a rag onto her arm to staunch the flowing blood, "I do know a few things on how to deal with the beasts."

"I can see we're going to get along _just_ fine," Kronos smirked, "Don't worry about Caspian, I'll take care of him."

Ruth took over pressing down on her wounds, so Methos showed Kronos out so they could have a word alone.

"It's allright, Methos," he said, "I know you love her."

Methos wasn't sure that he actually did, but the mention of it made his face turn a bit red.

"I don't think I can thank you enough for bringing her here," Methos replied.

"Don't worry about it," Kronos said, "I'm just happy you're happy."

"She will be allright, won't she?"

"Of course she will, don't worry."

"Good."

Kronos always moved too quick before Methos could even see it, which is how he was able to lock one arm high up around Methos' back and pull him forth to kiss him on the forehead.

"Kronos!" he whined.

"Why should Ruth have all the fun?" Kronos asked.

Methos turned and headed back into the tent, and Ruth was laying back in bed again with the blankets drawn up at her shoulders. "Was that thing a friend of yours?"

"My brother," Methos was embarrassed to admit it.

"What's wrong with him?" she asked.

"We don't know."

"Do you think he'll come back anytime soon?"

"I don't know, I wouldn't think so after Kronos gets through with him, but if he does, I'll take care of him," Methos said.

"Good."

* * *

Short time passed, and Methos when he was able to actually concentrate, pondered about Ruth…at first it seemed she was just a woman Kronos brought to lay with him and work the after effect of the Quickening out of his body, but as time passed, he became more convinced that Kronos was right, and he did love her. He'd known from the start that he liked having someone else around instead of just his brothers, but with every passing day, Methos seemed to fall more in love with her than the day before. Kronos was a dumbstruck, love happy bystander who watched them with great delight, it did him good to see Methos truly happy, in truth he also felt a pang of jealousy, but he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize what there was between his brother and his woman.

When they introduced her to their brothers, Silas got along with her just fine, Caspian however was still sore in both terms and kept a distance between them. Although they wouldn't see too much of her most likely, she was staying with Methos in his tent, and was particular to staying there a lot of the time. With the extra company to share his tent and his bed, and his life, Methos wasn't as bothered when Kronos rode out for long periods of time with no word and returned well into the night. He still worried about him but he came to the conclusion that a lot of why it bothered him was sheer loneliness, and his other brothers could only be of so much company during that time. Caspian they saw very little of as he usually kept to himself while Kronos was gone, Silas tended to the horses, and his new pet, and found pieces of wood spared from fires and he turned them into wooden animals with his knife. Methos ordinarily was the one without anything to do, and that made things worse, but with Ruth now…he had his own hobby.

They had discussed marriage a few times, and even asked Kronos what he thought about it. He said about the only way he knew to get them married would be if they all went to the neighboring village and found a priest there who would perform the ceremony. Methos would've been fine with it, but Ruth, still haunted by the memories of her own tribe trying to kill her, feared they would be attacked if they went, so the idea was left at just that, an idea and nothing more. Both Kronos and Methos tried to convince her that she had nothing to worry about, but Ruth insisted she would only believe that once all the people of her tribe were dead.

Kronos took that as an open invitation and said it could be arranged, but Methos stopped him before he drew out his sword. They weren't sure just what Ruth would object to, and they weren't sure exactly what it was she thought of her people now. One thing Methos kept thinking back to, was that they were the same people she'd known her entire life, the ones who raised her from an infant, the ones who helped her live long enough to become an adult…and also he realized, the ones who tried to kill her for something she had about as much control over, as Methos did of his Immortality. It was something that no person could have any hand in doing, but you try explaining that to the superstitious and the feeble minded, and it didn't get you far. All the same, he didn't know just how Ruth would take if her people were slaughtered by Kronos, and he wasn't really sure they wanted to find out.

There were a lot of things that they didn't know about her and weren't sure they wanted to know. She had several scars and marks on her back, and a few other places on her body, Methos wanted to know what had happened, but he wasn't going to ask, rather he said that they added to her beauty. Another thing that couldn't be ignored, her hair had been cut almost up to the scalp, Kronos commented that he'd seen Ruth before it happened and it used to go down to her shoulders. Clearly it was an insult added to injury when they were preparing to sacrifice her, to further hurt her by humiliating her in front of everyone. But she never said anything about it, and she never let on that it bothered her; Ruth never willingly told them much about her life with her tribe, and they didn't push it, they figured anything they needed to know, she would tell them once she was comfortable, if the time ever came.

* * *

Kronos had returned one night bloody and ready to kill someone. He explained that it was the same tribe that Ruth had belonged to, that had seen him again and this time he wasn't so lucky to get away unharmed. This time he was beyond any reasoning, he wanted them dead and he was going to make sure they were come the next morning, and they all knew he wasn't going back alone. Silas asked how many there were, Kronos said he counted at least thirty, and it was agreed that they would all be going with him. Methos was a bit worried about leaving Ruth by herself, but told her if she stayed in his tent and out of sight, she should be safe.

Ruth told Methos she understood why they were doing what they were doing, and she added if he saw their leader, to get him in the throat for her.

"How will I know him when I see him?" Methos asked.

"You won't be able to miss him, he wears a lion cub's fur wrapped on the top of his head and he wears a dark red robe."

"Dark red?"

"Very often they catch people they think to be witches and sacrifice them, usually they make several sacrifices at once, and in their spilt blood he soaks his robe."

"What does he think he is, a high priest?"

"Something like that, but he's not even close," Ruth said, "He's just a man who wants the others to think he's mightier than they are, he has them convinced that the blood on his robe is made pure once it's touched his robe and in turn makes him stronger."

"Your people truly are superstitious," Methos thought, "everybody else believes it, but you don't?"

"Oh no, I've done a lot of things that they question me, but the blood was the last of it apparently," Ruth said.

"What else did you do?" Methos asked.

"They don't approve of outsiders, people who aren't of their tribe, and what more, they don't approve of members of the tribe associating with them either," she explained.

"But you did," Methos said.

"Yes, they taught me a lot of things, a lot of them, things that my people didn't approve of at all."

"Like what?" Methos asked.

"They taught me how to write for one…not a lot of women do it, I don't think, certainly none where I come from…the men know how to write, but they don't."

"Why?"

"They think there's something wrong with it, they think that people can write about evil things and share their ideas then, when they can't talk…I guess the 'high priest' has seen a few letters inviting people into someone else's bed, or something," she laughed.

"Letters?"

"Yes, they don't have tablets so they write in the dirt with their daggers, that way you can just run your hand over it and the writing is gone, that's a very easy way to go about it and not get caught…and then…"

"Then what?"

She smiled, "They never knew it, but some men wrote letters like that to me, and I agreed. How do you think I got to be as good as I am with you?"

Methos laughed. "Did you have much practice?"

"Plenty, they never caught me doing it, though they did afterwards a couple of times, I think only a few knew what had happened, most only suspected, but that's enough to get you killed if enough people eve suspect something."

"Kronos also mentioned that you'd…been a slave previously."

"Only to my own tribe, the outsiders were nice to me, they liked me…there are several men who make themselves out to be high priests in my tribe, and they're the really sick ones, especially after they found me bleeding."

"What did they do?"

"They raped me, and they beat me while they did it, said it was making atonement for my sins. If your brother hadn't come along at the time that he did, I'd be dead by now."

"How did you manage to stay alive with those people for as long as you did?"

"It wasn't easy," she replied, "Sometimes I ran away in the night, stayed away for days where nobody could find me…then when I went back I told them that some man had come in the night and taken me away, and then he dumped me off somewhere, and after he'd gone I started back. Or I'd say that he took me to his home and raped me, and I had just escaped."

"Why didn't you just leave?" Methos asked.

"Because if I was gone for _too_ long, they would've come for me and killed me for escaping, and there's no way I could've by myself gotten away from all those people, especially when they ride out on their horses. They all live by a bunch of rules that another man made up, but they don't make much sense at all, it's all very confusing and very hard to explain."

Methos looked her deep in the eyes, "I'm thankful Kronos found you and brought you here."

"That makes two of us," she said.

"But I wonder what it is he does now when he rides out," Methos thought.

"Maybe he's looking for himself a woman," she suggested.

"Maybe," Methos agreed, "Ruth?"

"Yes?"

"Is it difficult to learn to write?"

She thought about it for a minute. "No, I don't think so…I learned a long time ago, but I remember how they taught it…you want to learn?"

"I think so…Kronos knows a bit of it but he says it's nothing to know…but I know that's not true."

"So why don't you ask him again?" Ruth asked.

"Because I know he wouldn't teach me," Methos said, "He says that with it just being us, there's no reason to write since we can just say what it is we have to say, since everyone's here that would need to hear it."

"Maybe he just doesn't know enough _to_ teach you," she thought, "I'm far from an expert at it myself, but I know enough that I can teach you, and you'll know how to write anything that you can already say."

"I'd like that," Methos said.

A couple minutes later, Kronos entered the tent and Methos worried for a moment that he'd overheard them.

"You'd best sleep now since we'll be riding out early in the morning," Kronos said.

"What will I do while you're gone?" Ruth asked.

That was a good question since she had never really been alone since she'd come here.

"Don't worry, we'll think of something in the morning," Kronos told her, "Now go onto sleep the both of you."

* * *

"You don't think anyone will come, do you?" Methos asked the next morning.

"I should think not…anyone who did know the way here has come here and died already," Kronos said, "And if anyone else knew the way here, they would've come in the night and attacked."

"I still have a bad feeling about leaving her alone," Methos said.

"I know you do," Kronos replied, "But she'll be allright."

Without another word, Methos turned and headed to his tent to get his sword, Ruth was there waiting with it for him.

"Will you be back tonight?" she asked.

"I think so."

"Are you going to kill them all?"

"Yes."

"Good," she kissed Methos on the cheek, "Now promise that you'll come back to me."

"I promise, and you…" he said, "You stay here, understand?"

"I'm in no mood to go wandering off…don't worry," she responded.

"I must go now," he kissed her on the lips once more time, "I love you."

"And I love you," she said, "Maybe after this we can get married, and make a right woman out of me after all."

"Maybe we will," Methos agreed.

* * *

Kronos led the way back to the village grounds, though all four brothers rode close together. He spoke to them on what would happen soon, but Methos couldn't pay attention, all he could think of was Ruth, what her own people had done to her, what she had told him about them.

What burnt in his mind the most were the scars on her back, she could put on a good act that she didn't care, she even walked around the men naked from time to time, more for herself than for their viewing pleasure. It was an act of defiance against her own people, even if they weren't there, it was victory enough for her, but Methos knew that they still bothered her, and what he knew, he trusted Kronos knew though they never spoke of it.

He also remembered how terrified she was of leaving their grounds incase someone from her own tribe found her. It was that fear that stopped them from going where they could marry. Methos had to laugh, when she first arrived, he thought she was a catamite and nothing more, and then he felt that she was just a spared wretch who should've been anywhere except with them…lust was always easy to send a man over himself if the woman was good, and Ruth was very good at what she did, but lust wasn't the only thing or the most important thing that drew him to her. He didn't understand it and he couldn't explain it, but there was just something to her that made him feel happier than he had been in a long while. And today, those people were going to pay for what they'd done to her, he would see to that.

Kronos pulled back the reins to his horse to stop and the others followed, Methos looked and found that the four of them were atop a hill, and down below, was the village. Briefly looking over the people, he could tell Kronos was right about something, most of the women were bony and sickly looking, several of the men wore large robes, like Ruth had told him about. He looked around, and he looked, and he looked, and finally he saw one man different than the rest, it looked as if he had a lion cub laying on top of his head but Methos quickly realized it was just the animal's fur. But he noticed also on top of the man's head, tied in the middle of the fur was a large stone, no, not a stone exactly, a jewel it looked like, but he couldn't think of what it was called, not that it mattered anyway. Methos knew without a doubt that this was the self-proclaimed high priest that Ruth had told him about, and he wanted dearly for this man to be the first to die.

"Kronos," Silas was the first of them to speak and to actually break the silence, and that brought Methos back to reality. They were all awaiting his command, looking down they saw that the people outnumbered them greatly, but that wouldn't stop them.

Methos noticed that the people seemed to all be heading in the same direction, it looked as if they were preparing for something to happen.

"Kronos, what is it?" he asked.

Kronos started to speak, but then, something happened, and everybody felt what it was.

Down below, another young woman, this one looking a bit older than Ruth, also with her hair hacked off, but a bit taller and heavier, and darker than Ruth, was bound in rope tied around her neck, her arms, binding them at her sides, down to her thighs so she could only move enough to walk. Walking she could barely do either but she had no choice, the villagers surrounded her and when she fell behind they hit her so she'd keep up with them. Looking ahead of their direction, the four brothers saw what was happening, another sacrifice was about to take place and the death would most likely be burning alive after they tied her up to a large wooden X. What they didn't know was that it wouldn't kill her for good, the girl was Immortal, or rather she would be after this burning.

"Not another one," Methos said.

Kronos drew his sword out of its sheath, and without looking to his brothers he said, "There's no time to lose, come on!"

They rode onwards and downwards, making enough noise in the process to wake the dead. Everybody was struck with panic when they saw them, most because they remembered Kronos, and all the people started running every direction, all but the girl who just stayed where she was and waited to be struck down. The four brothers headed in different directions, Methos after the high priest and fellow priests, Silas went after other men so Kronos could get to the girl and cut her ropes and free her, and Caspian went after the other women of the village, reveling in their fear.

Methos had succeeded in catching up with the high priests, one by one he ran them through with his sword and moved on, but he still hadn't killed their leader yet. He had managed to get ahead of all the rest and Methos decided to forgo the rest for now and catch him next. Unfortunately, his horse collided with Caspian's when they crossed and it sent Methos dropping out of the saddle and onto the ground. He saw the high priest had taken a spill himself, tripped over a large rock, and Methos knew this was his chance. He picked up his sword and dashed over to him and in the blink of an eye, he'd rammed his sword through the man's chest.

"That," he hissed, "Is for Ruth, and this," he added a second fatal injury to the dying man by removing the blade and ramming it through his stomach, "is for the rest you've slaughtered."

As the last bit of life left the man, Methos decided when they left that he would take something back to Ruth, to prove that the man was dead. That however could wait, he still had a few more priests to take care of before he could even give much thought to leaving. He got up and saw that Caspian and Silas had made short work of many men and women, the remaining ones wouldn't be much trouble.

Kronos meanwhile was having some difficulty, the girl had stumbled and fallen onto her stomach and couldn't turn over, and was screaming and writhing in response to the man behind her. It was taking him a while to cut the ropes and he was worried if she didn't stop flapping around, he'd cut her, so he laid the knife down beside him and rubbed her back between the ropes and tried to soothe her so she'd trust him.

"It's allright, it's allright…I'm not going to hurt you, I'm trying to get you out of this, allright?" he said, "once I get the ropes loose, you can go, but you have to lay still for that, can you do that?"

The girl nodded her head and sobbed a "yes" in response, and she lay flat on her stomach and held herself still. Kronos spoke surprisingly gently and soothingly to her as he continued to work, the rope was thick and wrapped around her many times, even with her cooperation he could tell this would be a while.

"Take it easy, we're not going to hurt you," he told her, "You're going to be allright."

"Why did you come here?" she asked.

"Because they had to die," he said, "It was either them, or more people like you."

Finally he'd cut the ropes enough that they could just be taken off. Kronos looked and saw that his brothers had made very quick work of the villagers, most of them were dead and the remaining ones were near enough to death that they were no longer a threat. Kronos wrapped his arms around the girl's waist and picked her up and set her on her feet and removed the remaining ropes, he said a quick goodbye and went to see if his brothers were allright. He had no doubt they would _be_ allright, the question would be if they were hurt right now.

The first he found was Methos on his side facing away from him, laying by several bodies of the priests, and Methos himself wasn't moving too much, Kronos ran over to see what had happened.

"Methos, are you allright?"

"Yeah."

"Well what's the matter, are you hurt?"

Methos rolled over and faced him, and Kronos didn't know just who he was looking at. The body was definitely Methos', but his eyes had gone blank, as if he didn't, or couldn't acknowledge or recognize anything or anyone surrounded him, as if the soul had gone out of him.

"Methos, what's the matter?" Kronos grabbed Methos and shook him to try and get a response of some sort from him.

His eyes still blank, Methos proved he was still all there by responding with another question, "Why, Kronos? Why did they do it?"

Kronos had no answer, no real answer, people lived in fear, followed superstitions, they obeyed religions, they worshipped man and men who overpowered them, for fear of their lives, and then in believing that they would be made like them one day, all for naught. In one instant it made the followers likely objects of pity, but no sympathy would ever go to them after what they had done, whether or not they truly knew what they were doing, it could never be taken back, the damage could never be undone, and those alive were the ones who had to deal with it.

Kronos pulled Methos closer to him and cradled his head in his lap, and he worried. Methos was almost non-responsive entirely, he didn't even move when they felt another Immortal arrive.

"K-Kronos?" he didn't move, none of his facial features were any different, but there was definite terror in his voice. Whoever the Immortal was, there was no denying that he was a strong one.

"It'll be allright, Methos," he assured him.

Both looked on as another man stepped out, one they hadn't seen before, obviously. Kronos had no recollection of him whatsoever and he had been through these parts several times now. He was a tall man, taller than both of them, and larger in size, pure muscle by the looks of it. He unsheathed a very large sword with a long, sharp blade in it, and both brothers knew exactly what he had planned.

"So you're the leader," Methos said.

His roaring laugh seemed almost enough to shake the earth beneath them. "Leader? Not close, you fool, I…am…a god."

Methos tried to get himself together enough to get to his feet, but Kronos was ahead of him. He picked up his sword and got in front of Methos to protect him. "We are not gods," he said, "We never have been, we never will be. We are only men, just as the rest."

"Only men?" the stranger laughed, "'Only men' don't die and come back again and again, 'only men' don't heal in seconds what other people take days, 'only men' don't take another's power when they cut off their head."

"Neither do gods," Kronos responded, "So…it was your word that the people followed, they lived by it, and they died because of it."

"They were a small price to pay…any way you turn, you'll always find more of them so that's no concern…people who will beg for their lives, people who will do anything you say for the price of their live…even murder. You'd be surprised what some people will do just for the sake of keeping alive, and for the rest who refuse to obey, they pay for it with their lives, one way or another, and not just the mortals," he said.

"Us." Both Immortals turned to Methos, surprised that he spoke, in truth he was surprised himself. "You mean us."

The stranger snarled and grinned all at once and Methos didn't like what he saw. "Indeed, boy…I knew you would come, and now that you're here, you're too stubborn to save your lives, so your heads will be mine."

Just as he said that, they felt Silas and Caspian approaching, and while Kronos and the new Immortal were momentarily distracted, Methos took that opportunity to get to his feet and pick up his sword. He knew he would be no match for this man, but he had to try.

"Four heads in one day," the stranger chuckled sinisterly, "This is going to be an occasion to remember…now, who's going to be the first to die?"

Immediately, all four brothers issued a challenge, and that left all of them nowhere because they knew that a fight could only be one Immortal against another.

"It doesn't matter," Methos said. Maybe he couldn't fight well against this man, but he had to try, and he decided to make known what would happen. "Take one of our heads, the rest will get you while you're down."

"_If_ you actually manage to kill one of us," Kronos added.

At that time, all four brothers had decided to hell with the rules, there would be no challenge, only a fight, and it was every man for himself. Kronos jumped into battle first, a few blows were traded, but then the stranger got the upper hand and kneed Kronos in the groin, he dropped his sword but kept hold of the hilt and fell to his knees, then the Immortal kicked him in the stomach, sending him sliding back a few feet, but not before breaking the blade of Kronos' sword in two with his own.

Methos jumped in after him, but despite the rage in him to return the blows to his brother and to see this man's head far away from his body, he was no match and lasted even less than Kronos had. The man stopped Methos' swing in mid-air, he'd gotten a hold of Methos' hand and squeezed it until the bones in it broke, Methos screamed in agony and his sword dropped to the ground, then the stranger drew back and drove the blade of his sword through Methos' stomach, and when the blade was removed, he fell back and landed on top of Kronos. Silas and Caspian jumped into the fight simultaneously, they didn't give a damn about the rules, their two brothers were down but still alive, and they had to make sure all four of them stayed alive.

Kronos shifted his weight around a bit so he was holding Methos against him, instead of Methos laying sprawled out on top of him.

"Kronos," Methos gasped.

"Shhhhhh," Kronos knew it was killing Methos to breathe, forget trying to talk. "Try to relax, Methos, I know it's hard but try."

"The fight," Methos managed to get out before gasping at every breath he took again.

Kronos looked on at the battle, both Caspian and Silas were doing very well to still be fighting after more than a few blows. Two to one didn't phase the new Immortal anymore than it did when it was one to one. "It's in their hands for the moment," Kronos said.

"Did he……hurt you?" Kronos knew Methos meant, but didn't have the strength to ask, if he had been damaged like Methos had.

"No," Kronos assured him, "I'm allright."

In truth, physically he was allright, mentally he was at a loss, he knew he should take Methos' sword and get back into the fight with Silas and Caspian to just end it now, but he couldn't tear himself away from Methos, who right now couldn't do anything to save his life. The only thing he could think of was that son of a bitch, he knew exactly what he was doing, he threw Methos out of the fight and unable to defend himself, so Kronos would also be out of the fight. Kronos couldn't abandon his brother even if it were only for a few seconds, not now, not during the fight, with him still so vulnerable. He knew it and Methos knew it, Methos just had more trouble comprehending it than Kronos did.

Suddenly, Methos started feeling worse for some reason. He didn't know what it was, but he knew it had something to do with all the Quickenings surrounding him…then again he couldn't recall 5 Immortals as strong as they all were, ever being together in one place like this, he was certain that it was normal to feel overwhelming to him. Kronos didn't seem to notice anything odd, nor did the others, so Methos tried to ignore it, and tried to focus on how fast his body was healing, it couldn't heal quickly enough, he had to get back up and into the fight. Finally the fight became one to one again, when the stranger sent Caspian falling back and his sword was tossed in a different direction. Methos considered himself well enough to get back into the fight, but quickly was proven wrong when he attempted to stand up, but still he was stubborn enough to try.

Silas's war axe and the stranger's blade were locked against one another and neither was moving an inch, and when Methos came up to the stranger again, he just sent Methos back again with a good kick in the ribs. As he went back and landed on Kronos again, Caspian got to his feet, grabbed his sword and went back to fight, unfortunately he was still a bit thrown off by being tossed down, and wasn't as fast as he ordinarily would've been, which made it very easy for the stranger to grab him and throw him over to Silas, sending both of them down. During the whole fight, everybody had been watching the fight and nothing else, so they were surprised when they saw the stranger fall on his knees, screaming in agony.

A sword had been thrust into his back and the person who had thrust it in was the same girl that the villagers were going to kill. Nobody could believe their eyes, but everybody took that as an opportunity to get back to their feet and ready to finish the fight. The girl jerked the sword back out of the man's body, and enough damage was done that he couldn't get up to fight so she picked up his sword and threw it away. She looked back at the men, and looked in Methos and Kronos' direction, and a frightening looking smile formed on her face and she said, "Kronos…it's been a long time."


	13. Chapter 13

All eyes went to Kronos, Methos' especially, none of them had ever seen this girl before, and she wasn't Immortal yet, and she didn't look to be any older than her 20s, so they all knew that if he did know her, it wasn't for very long. Kronos didn't act much like he actually knew her, but it didn't matter right now. The stranger Immortal lay doubled over and crumpled up, and while he was moaning and wailing in pain as the wound healed, the girl raised her sword to his neck.

"Time to die you bastard, time to die!"

Without a second's hesitation, she swung and he went down, and his head rolled away from the body. And now the four brothers had very little time to guess which one of them would take the Quickening, or if with all of them so close together and so close to the body, if it would pass through all four of them. However, the Quickening had that decision already decided, it went directly to Kronos and went through his entire body. As the power passed into his body he screamed at the top of his lungs, but even so they were drowned out by the noise of the village grounds that seemed to explode around them. As terrified as they were of being caught in an explosion, none of them could move, they were all too scared. Methos being the closest to Kronos, heard his screams better than the rest most likely, and to him, it didn't sound like it was just the agony and tremendous power of the Quickening, Kronos genuinely sounded scared.

After what seemed like an eternity, all power was absorbed into Kronos' body and he dropped the ground, dead exhausted. Methos rushed to his side and lifted him up and held him in his arms as he tried to get his attention, but it seemed the Quickening knocked Kronos out completely.

"Lay him down," the girl said.

Methos, Silas and Caspian looked to her again, she had put down the sword and picked up a cup, what was in it they didn't know.

"Lay him down," she repeated, "I'll wake him up for you."

Against his better judgment, Methos did as she told him, she walked over to his body and knelt down by it. She forced his mouth open a bit and threw a cup of water in his face, the shock of that might've been enough to get a response out of him, but with part of it choking him also, that definitely got him alert.

"Welcome back," she said.

Methos pulled Kronos to his feet. "Kronos, who is she?"

Kronos looked back at the girl and for a while, he looked like he was trying to remember. In all the time the four of them were together, they had encountered very few people who would become Immortals, but none of them were ever a woman. Kronos pulled away from Methos and walked, or rather staggered, over to the girl to get a better look at her.

"Don't tell me enough time has passed that you don't remember me, Kronos," she said.

"It can't be…" but he saw it was, "Jezebel."

"I knew you'd remember," she replied.

"Kronos, who is she?" Methos asked.

"She's…she was the daughter of a good friend a long time back," he explained, then turned to Jezebel and said, "I didn't think you were alive anymore."

"Well you heard what the man said, the things people do to stay alive, thankfully I didn't have to do much."

Kronos ran a hand through her very short hair. "What happened?"

"The traditional death ritual for a witch," she replied, "I really didn't think I'd see you again. I especially didn't think you'd be coming to my rescue today."

"Neither did we," Methos said, "A few days ago they tried to kill another woman, Ruth."

"Ruth? You know where she is?"

"You know her?" Kronos asked.

"Yes, we…is she living with you?"

"Yes she is," Methos answered, "Would you like to see her?"

"More than anything," she said, "I was told she'd escaped but nobody knew if she was still alive…Kronos, please, can we go now?"

"Yes, the battle's over, let's go home."

That reminded Methos, before they left he still had something to take care of, he went in one direction, and the others headed to the horses. They quickly found Kronos wasn't in exactly as good a condition as he was before, he still had some trouble walking properly. And though the Quickening had entered a lot of power into Kronos' body, it also did away with some of his strength, and they decided that he would ride back with Methos and Jezebel would follow on Kronos' horse, so Silas helped to get him up on the horse. Jezebel disappeared but only for a moment, she came back with the sword she'd used to kill the Immortal, and she held it up to Kronos.

"Take it," she said, "To replace yours that he broke, you'll need one to fight."

He took it from her, very grateful for it, but he had to wonder. "How did you learn about Immortals?"

She got up on Kronos' horse almost perfectly. "Did Ruth tell you about the times she got away from the village?"

"Yes."

"She wasn't the only one…after my father died, I ran away and was taken in by a bunch of people, they were Immortals, and they had a leader. He taught me about them, about how they fight to the death and the winner takes the other's head. About how they never grow old, never get sick, and never die, also that they can never have children, and they know when another is around. I went with them for a while, and they taught me a lot of things. I never knew why they did it, especially since I'm not one of them, but they said I'd have to know some day, and apparently they were right."

"So why'd you go back?" Kronos asked.

"It wasn't my choice," she responded, "the tribe leaders found me and took me back. Said if I tried to leave again, they'd cut off my feet," she hung her head low, "so I stayed, but even that wasn't good enough for them. I knew too much, I knew more than they did, so they decided to kill me, said that the outsiders turned me against them and that I would kill them if they didn't kill me first."

At that time, Methos returned and they saw he was carrying something with him, two things actually, one was the cub's fur, and the other was the large stone that the high priest had worn.

"What's that for?" Kronos asked.

"For Ruth," he replied, "To prove he's dead, also, the fur she can use to cover up what they did to her hair."

"Poor Ruth," Jezebel said, "They really went out of their way to make sure she suffered, what you saw them do with me, that's nothing compared to what they did to her. First they struck her down, and they dragged her off somewhere, where we could only hear her as she screamed when they raped her and beat her until she was near dead. Then to humiliate her, they dragged her naked body back where everyone could watch while they cut her hair to the scalp, then they tripped her and kicked her so she rolled, and she was covered in dirt. They said it was all fitting since she had become nothing more than a filthy witch."

"Do they burn everyone they kill?" Methos asked.

"Oh no," she shook her head, "Only a few, most they run through with daggers, or swords, and the priests collect the blood on their robes."

"Ruth already explained that one to us," Kronos said, "Wasn't there anyone else in this village who was like you two?"

"No," Jezebel shook her head, "Anyone else they found out, they had already killed, Ruth and I were the only ones left."

A short while after that, Silas and Caspian returned from taking whatever had been of worth that the villagers had, and they mounted their horses and left, Methos led the way back.

"So how long did you know Kronos?" Methos asked.

"A few years, he was friends with my father, but they went different ways when I was 10," Jezebel answered, "The funny thing is, he always promised me when he left, he'd take me with him." She turned to Kronos and asked, "What happened?"

"You know how Immortals heal quickly from wounds that aren't deadly?"

"Yes."

"Your father saw me heal from one, he accused me of being a demon, evil incarnate…and to make it very obvious I wasn't welcome around you or your home anymore, he chased me off into the night carrying a large rock. Immortals can usually heal from wounds very easily, but I don't know how I'd do with one of those bashed into my skull."

"He never told me."

"He knew how highly you thought of me, and he knew I wouldn't come back, so there was no reason to tell you. I know that's no way to think of your father especially since he's dead, but it's the truth. It's been a long while, but you should know me well enough to know I wouldn't make up anything to hurt you."

"I believe you," she said, "My father had a strong belief in the existence of demons and devils, that's part of why we joined the village, people who shared his beliefs. However, after he died, I saw what their beliefs _really_ were."

"I thought they didn't like outsiders," Methos said.

"They do if the outsiders want to join the tribe, they have a weird way of making someone part of it," responded.

"There'll be plenty of time to explain that later," Methos told her, "I just want to get back and tell Ruth the good news, and put Kronos where he can rest."

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Kronos asked.

Methos didn't answer, nobody said a word from there, they just kept riding, and finally after what felt like an eternity, they had returned to the camp. Methos dismounted his horse and helped Kronos down, and found he was now weaker than before. He had Silas take him back to his tent, while he took Jezebel to see Ruth. Ruth had heard them return and went out to meet him, and when she saw who was with him, she ran straight for them.

"Surprise," Methos said.

Ruth wrapped her arms around Jezebel and they shrieked excitedly and jumped up and down and hopped around in small circles. Methos stood to the side and said to himself, "Don't you hate it when you can't understand the language?"

"Methos this is terrific," Ruth said, "Now we can all be together."

"I know…Ruth, did you know that Jezebel used to know Kronos?"

"No, that's great, at least she knew somebody here before coming," Ruth said, "What happened?"

"She can tell you that, she was there, and a big part of it," Methos said, "I have to go check on Kronos, the fight took a lot out of him. Oh but before I forget, I have something for you, Ruth."

"Something for me?" she asked, "What?"

He showed her the lion fur and wrapped it around her head. "A gift from the no-longer high priest of your no-longer village."

She was left speechless for a moment, and then, "You mean it, he really is dead?"

"Yes, every last one of them is," Methos said, "Something else from the high priest," he held up the large stone for her to see, "Do you remember this?"

"Yes," she took it from him, "I'm going to put it away and hide it."

"Where will I be staying?" Jezebel asked.

Methos thought for a moment. "For right now you'll be staying with Ruth because I have to take care of Kronos, then once he's recovered, we'll figure something else out."

"What happened?" Ruth asked as she came back, "Is he hurt?"

Jezebel turned and looked at Methos, "She doesn't know?"

"No."

"And you didn't tell her."

"Tell me what?" Ruth asked.

"Go take care of Kronos, I'll tell her," Jezebel said.

Methos entered the tent and saw Kronos laying in bed, looking very uncomfortable. "Feeling better?"

"I'm tired, Methos."

Methos lay beside him and smoothed back Kronos' hair from his face and watched as his eyelids appeared to grow heavier. "Then rest, you certainly deserve it after the day we've been through."

His eyes opened again and he grabbed Methos by the wrist. "That man that Jezebel killed."

"What about him?" Methos asked.

"He was a stronger one than most…and you wouldn't believe the things I saw during the Quickening, the things he'd done, the people he'd tortured and killed, it's beyond anything I've ever seen."

"He was an old one then," Methos guessed.

"Very old…and very powerful…Methos."

"Yes?"

"Would you stay with me until this settles? I'd rather not be alone right now."

"Of course I will, Kronos."

"Thank you, Methos, you're a good Brother to me, I still wonder what I did to deserve you."

"Just rest, Kronos, I'll take care of you," Methos told him, "Everything will be allright."

Kronos laid his head back and closed his eyes. Methos told him he had to get a few things from his tent, he'd be back soon, Kronos lightly nodded his head and made a small sound in agreement. Methos headed towards his tent and almost went in, when he heard the women talking, so he stepped back and stayed where they wouldn't see him, and he listened.

"So will you be married now?" Jezebel asked.

"I like to think so…I would like to be married before I die."

"How old are you?" Jezebel asked.

Ruth had to think for a minute. "Twenty---four."

"Well, I'm twenty-seven and I've never married, so I don't think you have much to worry about."

"I know," Ruth replied, "To tell you the truth, I don't know who's more anxious to get married, myself, or Methos. He was the first one to mention marriage." Ruth paused for a minute. "Do you suppose you and Kronos will marry?"

"I don't know," Jezebel replied, "I certainly wouldn't mind, but I think he may be a little uncomfortable with the idea."

"What idea?"

"Marrying the daughter of a man who first was your best friend, and then who tried to kill you, especially since he hasn't seen me in seventeen years, I would think it would be hard to marry someone who was a child the last time you saw them, while he has remained exactly the same."

"Wouldn't it be something though, if we could all get married together?" Ruth asked.

"Certainly, but how would you ever get Kronos to agree?"

"I wouldn't, you would."

"I don't know, Ruth, I think my chances are better to be alone my whole life."

"You're not alone," Ruth told her.

"You know what I mean…Kronos is better than the men of the tribe, but he's not completely different, I get the idea that he doesn't like outsiders too much either."

"Well what does that make us?"

"That's different, Ruth, he brought us here. Now if anyone were to just stumble on over here, he'd probably kill them…I mean since you've been here, have you seen anyone else?"

"No," Ruth shook her head, "There's a village right over from us, but nobody comes over…Although, we may be going there soon to get married."

"You really love Methos, don't you?" Jezebel asked.

"Of course…I've never went to bed with a man of my own doing, that I never loved. It's a lot easier to lay with a man if you love him, and he feels the same."

"I hope it's just as easy to be in love without laying with him," Jezebel replied, "That's how I see me and Kronos…if I stay."

"You'll stay," Ruth told her, "Where else would you go?"

"I don't know, I just hope Kronos wants me to stay."

"He does, he wouldn't want you to leave."

"How do you know?"

"Well," Ruth said, "I haven't known him as long as you have…but I know what he's like. And I know you…and I know you well enough to know that he would want you to stay, especially considering you two knew each other before. It's perfect."

"I hope so," Jezebel replied, "I've been alone plenty of times, I don't care for it again."

Methos turned around and wandered away and back to Kronos' tent. It was scary when he thought about it, how much Kronos and Jezebel were alike and didn't even realize it.

When he returned, he saw Silas' dog laying at Kronos' feet, looking at him like he was waiting for something. Methos picked the dog up and took him back to Silas, and then went back to Kronos to keep him company. Kronos was asleep and didn't even move when Methos entered the tent, it was obvious that the Quickening he took was indeed a very powerful one. Methos moved right beside him and looked at him, asleep he usually looked peaceful, tonight he looked like death. Methos knew the feeling all too well, and he hoped for his brother's sake, that it would pass soon. He was about to lay down to sleep himself when he heard Kronos call his name.

"What is it, Kronos?"

Kronos slowly opened his eyes and looked at Methos and said, "Come closer."

Methos did, and he knew if Kronos said it again, it would be impossible without getting on top of him. "Yes?"

Kronos looked at him, his eyes exhausted but with a trace of mischief, he smiled at him and said, "Kiss me."

Methos' eyes went as wide as they could. "What?" he asked.

"Kiss me."

That genuinely surprised Methos, it seemed an odd favor to ask, but he knew there wasn't anything wrong with it, although he wondered. Right now Kronos had a Quickening from possibly one of the oldest and strongest Immortals in existence running through him, exactly where one's personality ended and the other began, or if the two had formed together, was impossible to know. What exactly Kronos was going through right now was impossible to know as well, so while Methos felt odd about doing this, he decided anything he could do for his brother right now, that he asked for, he would give him.

All the same he still felt awkward as he did it, he slowly lowered his head beside Kronos' and lightly kissed him on the cheek. Kronos in turn lowered his head and touched his lips against the back of Methos' hand. "Thank you, Brother, it's nice to know I'm still in good company."

Methos brought the furs up on Kronos, "Just rest, Kronos, I'll take care of you now."

Kronos sighed and rolled onto his side, "Thank you."

Methos brought up another fur to cover his shoulders when he turned over. "I certainly owe it to you after all the times you've done this for me."

* * *

The Quickening did not settle well in Kronos. Into the night, Methos woke up and found him writhing and thrashing around from side to side. Methos untangled him from the furs and the blankets and tried to get a good hold on him, but Kronos screamed as loud as Methos has ever heard and he drew back.

"Kronos what is it? What's wrong?"

Kronos screamed so much Methos could barely understand him when he spoke, or rather tried to, however he was able to understand Kronos when he got out that he was burning and in fact it felt like his entire body had been set on fire. This was something Methos knew all too well from his own personal experience and he had an idea. He wouldn't give much for his chances of getting Kronos out to the river, so he got the water basin they used for washing and threw the water on him. He screamed again, but this one was short lived and a reaction to the shock of the cold water, after that he quieted down and seemed to truly relax.

"Are you allright?" Methos asked.

Kronos spit out part of the water and replied, "Yes I think so…thank you…"

Methos laughed once against his better judgment and he said, "I'm sorry, I just thought it would be easier than trying to get you down to the river."

"Well apparently it worked," Kronos replied, "I suppose now I know how you felt."

"It would seem so," Methos replied.

Kronos laid back and sighed, "This is hell."

"Probably the closest thing for us," Methos said.

"Could be," Kronos thought, "I sometimes wonder what the price is we pay for not dying."

Methos could tell Kronos wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep, he was having trouble keeping his eyes open and it got worse the more time passed. Methos knelt beside him and smoothed back the bangs stuck to his forehead, "You think you could go back to sleep now?"

Kronos nodded, "I feel fine now."

"Good," Methos kissed him on the forehead and stroked his hair as Kronos stretched out and closed his eyes. "Just try and rest, and hopefully this will be over in the morning."

Kronos didn't answer, just tilted his head to the side a bit and exhaled. Methos wanted to cry, here was his brother, the strongest man he knew, and he had to suffer to this extent because of the Quickening he took. And why did he have to be the one to take it? They were all close enough to the man that any of them could've taken it, and it had to be Kronos. That made Methos wonder, if it was this bad on Kronos and he was the most powerful man Methos knew, how would it have been if one of them had taken it instead? Methos couldn't imagine how that would be and decided he didn't want to know. He laid down beside Kronos and rested his head on his brother's shoulder and prayed to whatever deity may listen to him, that Kronos get past this, and soon.

* * *

When Methos awoke the next morning, he found Kronos already up and about, and in no way resembled the pathetic, vulnerable creature he was last night. In fact, Kronos had an announcement for Methos that they were riding out today to go to the neighboring village and to get he and Ruth married. Methos was surprised but he wasn't about to argue, he went to wake the women and tell them the good news. While he was excited for Ruth and himself, he felt bad for Jezebel because she had wanted, hoped if nothing else, that she and Kronos could marry alongside them. Then he got to thinking, maybe after being to one wedding would give Kronos an idea.

"I feel pretty ridiculous about this," Ruth said.

"Why?" Methos asked.

"I know I look horrible after what they did to me. What are the priests going to say? What if they know what it means? Can you imagine if we go to the village they also think I'm a witch?"

"They won't," Methos replied.

"How do you know?" she asked, "We're supposed to get married, I don't want it to turn into a witch-hunt."

"We've been over there a few times now," Methos told her, "Believe me, if they were like that, we would know long before now."

"I hope you're right," Ruth said.

"I think you're just getting excited about getting married and it's making you nervous," Jezebel told her.

"What would you know?" Ruth asked.

"Nothing, but I can tell that you're being ridiculous for no reason, Methos has been around here longer than you, he wouldn't take you somewhere you'd get hurt, right?"

"Of course not," Methos said.

"But what if there are new people there now? People like from our tribe?" Ruth asked.

"Then it's the six of us against however many of them there might be, I think those are good chances at winning," Methos told her. "Look, Ruth, I love you, you know that don't you?"

"Of course I do."

"Allright, then you must know that I wouldn't do something that might put you in danger…and I hope you believe me when I say that I'm never going to let anything or anyone hurt you as long as we live."

"Good," and with that, and seemingly a gained sense of security, Ruth threw herself into Methos' arms and wrapped her own around his back. But she let go and backed up when she saw they had a guest. "Kronos."

Methos turned around surprised, Kronos had been nearby for a while where Methos could feel his presence, so his entrance went unnoticed basically. Kronos was laughing, looking as drunk on their love as he always did. "Isn't that sweet? Allright, let's get going, I want to get the two of you married before the sun goes down."

"How far away _is_ this village?" Jezebel asked.

"Not too far," Methos replied, "But we'll probably be there for a while."

* * *

Looking back only a few hours, Methos was amazed at how little he could actually recall of the wedding ceremony. Most of it seemed all a blur now, he recalled them arriving to the village, finding the priests, and he remembered many of the villagers gathering round to witness the wedding. He remembered the priest talking but for the life of him he couldn't remember _what_ really had been said, all he really could remember was that moment of bliss when the priest said they were now married.

Looking around at everyone else, it was quite a sight, on one side stood Kronos and Jezebel, Methos figured he knew well enough to know that by the way they watched, the villagers mistook her for his daughter, instead of a woman who might one day marry him. Immortality froze Kronos at an age that nobody could recognize, not even himself, but it was definitely old enough, whereas Jezebel didn't look quite so much her age. They were the furthest thing from father and daughter, but Methos hadn't yet given up on the idea they someday might be in this same spot he now stood in. Looking over to the other side, he saw Silas and Caspian watching them, Silas had one foot of his on one of Caspian's, and one hand locked on Caspian's wrist so he couldn't get away and make any trouble.

_So this is it_, he thought, _this is what it's like to be married, and have a family, just like Kronos said…funny,_ he thought,_ it feels about the same._

Methos knew, however, that was only a temporary feeling, and as soon as everything finally sank in and hit him, it wouldn't be such a familiar feeling after all. But it didn't matter, right now it seemed he had everything he could want and everything he could ever ask for.

* * *

The night after a wedding was usually a night of intimate celebration for the wife and husband…however Methos and Ruth had already had that before the wedding, so they were spending their night in the dirt. Ruth had kept her word that she would teach Methos to write, unfortunately he was even worse at learning it than he had imagined. Ruth had torn a couple of small branches off a nearby tree and was showing Methos in the dirt how to write. It was all a bunch of symbols that made no sense to him and he couldn't remember what they were supposed to mean.

"What's this language called again?" he asked.

"Egyptian," she answered.

"I don't think I'm going to learn it," he said.

"Maybe I should've taught you Minoan then," Ruth started to run her hand through the dirt to get rid of the Egyptian writing when she saw Methos turn and look at something. "What is it?"

"Kronos is coming," he answered.

Methos still couldn't be convinced to let Kronos know what was going on, and while Ruth didn't really understand it, she didn't argue it either. There probably wasn't enough time to wipe away all the writing, so Ruth did the first thing that came to her mind, she rolled onto that patch of the dirt and laid on her side so she looked normal when he came.

"Do I even want to know what's going on?" Kronos asked as he approached.

"No, now go away," Ruth replied, "Aren't you supposed to be with Jezebel anyway?"

"That's just it, I'm trying to find her," Kronos replied.

"What do you mean?"

"She drunk too much wine and she ran off somewhere, and now I'm trying to find her," Kronos explained.

"Uh oh," Ruth said, "The last time she did that, she—no, I'll let you see for yourself when you find her."

"Thanks for nothing," Kronos told her, and with that he went off, continuing to look for her.

"That was close," Methos said.

"I'd still like to know why you're worried about him finding out," Ruth said as she rolled back over, "What do you think he'll do?"

"That's just it, I don't know, he might not like it," Methos replied. He then took in how the back of Ruth's dress looked. "Now look at you, that thing is completely filthy."

"So what? I won't be wearing it tonight anyway," Ruth said, "Now let's start again."

"Ruth?"

"What?"

"What did happen the last time Jezebel drank too much wine?" Methos asked.

Ruth grinned in such a sinister manner that Methos had only seen it with Kronos before. "Nothing, nothing at all."

By the time they returned to Methos' tent to sleep, in that night he had learned little more than how to write his name, Ruth's name, and a couple of choice names for Caspian. It was a start and Ruth insisted before long he would know as much as she did; that was one thing Methos knew she could do very well, and before long he learned of something else she did very well.

* * *

Life was never boring and seldom with any peace, through the years one thing that had never changed was something would happen that would send Caspian and Silas at each other's throats. Of course the fights would never get too far, but that didn't make it any less interesting while they lasted. In the more recent fights, Methos and the women would join in the battle, and by the time it ended, Caspian could most likely be found underneath the rest of them.

After the latest fight, each person went their own way to do some form of work. Methos and Ruth headed to the river to get some water to take back to the camp, Caspian went to start a fire to cook the next meal over, Silas went to tend to the horses, and Jezebel headed off to find enough wood to keep the fire going. Each put a great distance between themselves and the others, though not too much distance fortunately.

Jezebel saw a man come out of nowhere and the first thing she realized was that he shouldn't be there. She looked back and considered calling for the others, but she didn't have time. The man told her that a friend of his was in need of help and wasn't too far away; it went against her better judgment but Jezebel followed the man wondering what she would be able to do to help. After a short while, Jezebel was about to ask how much further they would have to go, when out of nowhere she was jumped from behind and wrestled to the ground. She screamed as loud as she could, and that drew the attention of Kronos, Methos, and Ruth, and they followed the sound of her screams and found they were under attack by a whole group of men.

Two men were currently wrestling with Jezebel, one was trying to pin her to the ground and the other was trying to tear her dress off, but she resisted and she fought, and she kicked one man in the stomach and knocked him on his back. Ruth jumped on the back of the other man and pulled him off of Jezebel, two more tried to get her but Methos and Kronos got to them first. Jezebel got to her feet and saw Kronos cut the man's throat and drop him, but another man was behind Kronos and about to attack. Jezebel knocked Kronos to the ground and tried to take down the other man as well, but he had the upper hand, and he cut her across her chest and she fell to the ground screaming and clutching her gushing wound.

Ruth turned when she heard Jezebel scream and she jumped at the man who attacked her, he tried to stab her but she knocked the knife out of his hand, and when he tried to strike her, she bit down on his fingers until she bit them clear off, then she spit them out. Methos came up behind the man and slit his throat, not for his mercy of a quick death over long suffering, just so they didn't have to hear him scream anymore. When he went down, they went to help Kronos, who seemed to have gone into a shock when Jezebel stopped screaming, and when she stopped screaming, she also stopped moving.

* * *

The cut made in Jezebel's chest wasn't as deep as they had feared, and she would recover, that was no secret, but it didn't make any difference to Kronos. Once they got her back to his tent, he laid down right by her side and he wouldn't leave her, Methos and Ruth wouldn't say why, but they knew the reason was because he was afraid. Afraid that the moment he'd leave her side, she would pick that moment to slip into death, a foolish thought though it was, but one that he couldn't be talked out of, and they weren't going to try.

"Who were those men?" Ruth asked.

"I don't know," Methos said, "I've never seen anything like them before."

"What were they doing here?" Ruth wanted to know, "I thought we were supposed to be by ourselves here…unless somebody followed us from the village."

"It's possible."

Methos heard Ruth moan and he saw she looked very much the same way she had before when she worried about being attacked in the village when they went to marry. Methos grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. "Ruth, don't do that!"

Ruth didn't look at Methos and she slapped his hand away. "Leave me alone, I'll be upset if I want. Suppose more of them come here, we could all be in trouble."

"I know," Methos replied.

"And Kronos isn't going to be able to fight as long as he's like he is now," Ruth said.

"I know…however there are still four of us who can fight, if we have to that might be all we need," Methos said.

"Maybe," Ruth thought.

"Maybe…I saw what you did," Methos said.

"Of course you did, everybody who was there saw what I did," she replied.

"You've proven you _can _fight."

"I can do a lot more than that…I just don't prefer to when I don't have to…I don't think Kronos should be left alone right now, Methos."

"Neither do I," Methos responded.

Ruth was already ahead of him, she stepped into the tent and knelt down behind Kronos. "Are you allright?" she asked.

Kronos didn't turn to look at her and he gave a half mumbled answer that couldn't be understood. Ruth looked over at Jezebel, who had remained asleep since they'd brought her back.

"She's going to be allright, Kronos."

"I know…" Kronos shook his head, "Look what they did to her."

Ruth looked at the wound, it was about five inches long, it was slow but it was healing.

"It's not so bad," Ruth insisted, "It's down low enough on her chest that her clothes will cover it…nobody will know."

"_She'll_ know," Kronos replied, "It'll mark her for life, even if…"

"Even if what?" Ruth asked.

Kronos and Methos had agreed that they wouldn't mention Jezebel's chance at Immortality, as long as Ruth was alive. Their time together as friends was already very short, there was no sense in making it seem even shorter.

"Even if she completely heals," Kronos said, "She'll still have it."

"Maybe not," Ruth replied, "Some people don't scar when they heal."

Kronos didn't believe it. "As big as it is, it _will_ scar, I have no doubt of that."

"I still say you're wrong," Ruth said, "Now shut up, you'll wake her."

"Are you serious?" Kronos asked, "The dead could come out of the ground, she won't wake up."

Ruth hit Kronos on the back of the head. "Always so sure of yourself, aren't you?"

Kronos didn't respond, and Methos knew that he wouldn't as long as he was worrying about Jezebel. Of course he wouldn't do anything afterwards either because then Jezebel would attack him if he did anything to Ruth. He couldn't win either way, and she knew that, and it further proved that Methos couldn't have found a better wife than if he'd tried. Maybe they wouldn't have children, but as long as Ruth was alive, that was enough for him, his brothers were children enough for him to handle.

* * *

Kronos stayed with Jezebel through the night, the others took turns being on guard incase they were attacked during the night. They still had no answers on who had attacked, or why for that matter, but they didn't trust that they had seen the last of them. Methos felt certain that a second attack would be made on them before the sun came up, he decided they were lucky the last time to only come out of it with what they had, but a second time, he didn't know. He worried that Ruth might be attacked next time, and he worried that they wouldn't be as lucky with her as they had been with Jezebel…already they weren't so lucky, if the wound proved to be too much to survive, Jezebel would become Immortal, with Ruth they didn't have that option.

This was new territory, perhaps if it had been Kronos in his place, he'd have an idea of what to do, but Methos had never been married before and he wasn't used to keeping company of someone who could die so easily. Not since Mary – Methos pushed that thought from his mind, his brothers were his family and had been for a long time, and before Kronos brought Ruth back with him, they had been the only company he had for a while. They were like him, if they hurt, they healed, if they died, they returned, but there wouldn't be that with Ruth, so he had to be careful that nothing happened to her. That was the thought occupying his mind when he finally fell asleep, he was so tired he didn't even notice somebody moving his body.

* * *

Methos slowly awoke to the feeling of somebody's hand stroking his hair. He opened one eye, then the other, and then he turned over in bed and came face to face with Kronos, who was likewise slowly coming around. Once the two realized who they were in bed with, they both fully awoke in shock.

"How'd I get here?" Methos asked. The last thing he recalled was being on guard outside.

"I was going to ask you the same thing," Kronos replied, "And where's Jezebel?"

They both felt her presence nearby, and a few seconds later, she entered the tent. "I'm right here…"

"When did you wake up?" Kronos asked.

"Right after you went to sleep," she replied, "Ruth told me about what you did."

"What did I do?"

"You spent the entire day worrying about me, and for what?" Jezebel asked, "You're not going to get rid of me so easily, Kronos."

"Are you allright?" he asked.

"Yeah I'm fine," Jezebel glanced down at the wound in her chest, "It's not as bad as it looks. It _will _heal."

"I know," Kronos replied.

"You sure seem to worry an awful lot about me," she said.

"Well…" Kronos reluctantly replied, "You're worth it."

"Yeah well I hope your brother is worth the backache he gave me when I dragged him here," Jezebel said. "Now, I'm tired and I'm going over to Methos' tent to sleep, if either of you or either of your brothers come and wake me up before I'm ready, I'll cut your throats."

Neither really believed her, but they had no doubt that she would do _something_ if they disturbed her. They waited until she was gone to say anything.

"She's nice," Methos said.

"Funny…"

"Do you ever think about marrying her?" Methos asked.

"What?"

"Do you ever think about marrying her?"

"I heard you the first time."

"Do you?" Methos asked.

"I…I don't know," Kronos replied, "I've been married a few times before."

"To an Immortal?" Methos asked.

"No…but, Jezebel isn't Immortal…yet."

"That doesn't mean she won't be."

"I know…"

"It might be nice, being married to someone who…you don't have to worry about outliving them."

"I know, you think I haven't thought of that before?" Kronos asked.

"You should consider yourself lucky that you have that chance," Methos said, "I love Ruth more than my own life, but I know that one day, she…"

When Methos didn't answer, Kronos cut in, "Don't think about it."

"I don't want to think about it," Methos replied.

"Methos…"

"I'll be allright," he insisted though he didn't seem convincing, "Just leave me alone, let me rest…please, just give me that much."

Methos immediately regretted his words, not so much what he'd said but rather how he'd said them. Maybe Kronos hadn't noticed it, but he had and he was sorry for it. When Kronos didn't say anything in response, Methos took that as a bad sign.

"Kronos, I'm sorry." Methos feared he'd angered Kronos and now couldn't bring himself to look his brother in the eye. He felt Kronos' strong arms lock around him and he suddenly felt he was in danger. "I'm sorry, Kronos!"

"It's allright, you're just tired," Kronos laid Methos down in the bed and covered him up. "Are you allright?"

"Kronos, I have something to tell you," Methos said.

"What's that?"

"Jezebel really loves you."

"How do you know?" Kronos asked.

"I heard her…she would like to marry you."

"So _that's_ where that came from."

"Are you going to?" Methos asked.

"You just go to sleep and leave that to me, I'll figure out what we're going to do."


	14. Chapter 14

Jezebel opened her eyes and saw Kronos hovering above her. "What is it?" she asked as she moved to get up.

"Nothing," he replied, "Just watching."

She noticed him looking more specifically at the wound on her chest and she covered it with the blanket, "Stop looking at it, Kronos."

"I know," he said, "it's terrible."

"It doesn't bother me so much," she insisted, "It's knowing that it bothers you that's the real problem."

"It just worries me," he said.

"What's to worry about? I'm going to be fine."

"I know," Kronos said, "I also know how painful a reminder scars can be," he traced a finger across his own scar that had marked him for more years than he could remember.

"How did you get that, anyway?" she asked.

"Lost a battle, became the winner's slave, and he had a whip and he knew how to use it, unfortunately, you might say my face got in the way."

"Sorry. How's Ruth?"

"Allright."

"Good," Jezebel replied, "She was worried earlier, she's still upset about what happened yesterday, and still we don't know who those men were, or where they came from, or if more are going to come."

"I know."

"Do you think we were followed?" Jezebel asked, "From the village I mean?"

"I don't know," Kronos said, "But I know a way to find out."

"How?"

Kronos smiled at her, one of his least sinister ones but it still gave her an uneasy feeling, "Do you want to get married?"

"What?"

"I had an idea, if all of us went back to the village so _we_ could marry, if someone were following us, then they'd follow again when we returned, only this time we'd be ready for them."

Jezebel looked like she didn't know what to say, or even if she should say anything at all.

"You really want to get married?"

"Sure, why not? Methos and Ruth are married, why should they have all the fun being the only married people here?"

Jezebel groaned, "I don't know about that, Kronos, if we _do_ get married, it's not going to be _exactly_ like it is with them."

"I know that."

"Yeah, but you _don't_ know how it'll be different," she replied.

"How's that?"

She had the words to explain but she couldn't quite bring herself to say them. Finally the words just sort of fell out, "I really don't know that if we married that I could…when Ruth was going to be killed, she was tortured first, and when they tortured her, they also raped her."

"I know."

"But in the same day, she came here and she willingly laid with Methos, it doesn't bother her because she'd done the same thing before that she did with him, many times before. I…they didn't do that with me, because they didn't think I was a witch, they just decided that I knew too much and had to be gotten rid of. But even so, I don't think that I could do it, Kronos. I don't know that I could lay with you, if I did I would probably lose my mind, every time I think about it, I remember what they did to Ruth. I'm worried, if we did, or even tried, if I closed my eyes I would probably feel _their_ hands on me, I _know_ what they did to her, I remember, and I swore I'd rather die than have that happen."

"That's _not_ what's going to happen," Kronos told her.

"I know, but it doesn't help me any. That's why I don't know how well you'd like being married to me. I'm willing to marry, but I don't know what else I will do after."

"There's time for that later," Kronos told her, "Plenty later, but what do you say? The two of us, right now, we could be back to the village and married before the sun sets."

Jezebel almost screamed in excitement but caught herself in time, "It's too soon, I think they'd think it odd if we went back this early, especially if we do have their members to thank for what happened yesterday. I say, in a week?"

"A week?" Kronos repeated, "A week it is then."

"Good," Jezebel settled down in the bed again, "Now get out of here before I tear your throat out."

* * *

"A week?" Methos couldn't believe the news when he awoke. However his surprise wasn't for the same reason as Kronos' had been. Kronos had been surprised that Jezebel wanted to wait that long, Methos was surprised they planned to marry that fast.

"Getting married will be the easy part," Kronos explained, "Everything that comes afterwards…I'll deal with that then."

"You must really love her if you're going to do it," Methos said.

"I suppose so. She is an odd one though."

"Wasn't she always?" Methos asked.

"Of course," Kronos replied, "But this is different. _She_ is so terrified of what the priests did to Ruth, nothing to her, but to Ruth, that she's worried that's what will happen if we…it doesn't make much sense, does it?"

"No, but I guess I can understand it," Methos said, "Remember how I was when you first found me?"

"That's different, you _were_ raped, Jezebel hasn't been."

"How do you know? Maybe it just wasn't the priests," Methos replied.

"I hadn't thought about that. If she was, she's certainly good at hiding it, although that would explain why she's afraid."

"It certainly would, however regardless of what happened, she's handling it better than I did," Methos replied.

"Yeah, of course I think we have Ruth to thank for much of bringing you out of it."

"Now she's an odd one," Methos said, "She was raped several times by the most ruthless men we've seen yet, and she wasn't afraid of being with me."

"Maybe because she knew you wouldn't hurt her."

"How could she know?"

"Because I told her you were the same as she, and it was the truth, you didn't have it in you to hurt her, you never could."

"That's right, but Jezebel's known you a lot longer than I've known Ruth, she should know you wouldn't hurt her."

"She knows, Methos, she just can't forget what's already happened, and maybe she never will."

"What're you going to do then?" Methos asked.

"Whatever I have to, I'm not marrying her for the pure sake of taking her. She'll be Immortal one day, so we'll have all the time we need, if I have to wait a hundred years, a thousand…"

"And suppose even that's not long enough, then what?" Methos asked.

"I don't care," Kronos replied, "I've known her since she was a little girl, I can think of better ways for us to spend the rest of our lives, than in bed all the days and nights."

Methos looked the other way, not knowing why the oh so familiar feeling of having messed up had come over him again. After a minute and neither said anything, he asked, "Kronos, did I do something wrong again?"

Kronos laughed, "No, why?"

"It feels like I did."

From the sound of it, Kronos about made himself sick laughing, "Brother, you certainly are a one of a kind," he cupped Methos' chin in his hand and forced him to turn and look him in the eyes. "And I love you," and to emphasize his words, he kissed Methos.

"What's this?" they heard and as they drew back they saw Ruth coming their way, "Trying to have the best of both sides, Kronos?"

Methos was mortified at what she said, Kronos just laughed, "Not at all, just making sure that your husband understands perfectly."

"Understands what?" Ruth asked.

"Well Ruth, I didn't tell you before, but you married a man who thinks too much and what he thinks of only upsets him, and it takes a lot of work to get him out of those moods."

"And it's more than one person can take care of I'm guessing?" Ruth asked.

"Sometimes."

"I can live with that," Ruth said, "So long as you don't try to interfere with our marriage."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Kronos got up to leave, "I'll see you two later."

Ruth sat down beside Methos, "What was that all about?"

"Nothing, where've you been?"

"Losing Caspian down by the river, what is the matter with that man?"

Methos shrugged, "I wish I knew…did he hurt you?"

"No, either he's not as fast as he used to be, or I'm not as slow. Anyway, the last I saw of him was after I threw him in."

"You'd think he'd know better by now," Methos said.

"Anybody else would know better, but him…he's got no right to call Silas an idiot, he's dumber than Silas will ever be."

"Crazier too…Ruth."

"What?"

"Kronos said that he and Jezebel are going to marry next week."

"What?" It was quite obvious she couldn't believe what she heard.

"Kronos had an idea, we go back to the village, _they_ get married, and if it turns out we were followed from the village, if there're any of them left, they'll follow again and we kill them."

Ruth looked at Methos for a moment completely stunned. "He what? That's not his only reason to wanting to marry, tell me it isn't."

"Of course not, but he decided it would be a perfect reason to get married soon, Jezebel doesn't seem so sure about it though."

"I should say not, she didn't think he'd want that, any of it," Ruth replied.

"I know," Methos said.

"And she's not…she doesn't intend to have him bed her like people who marry really do."

"I know…Ruth."

"What?"

"Do you know why she's like that?" Methos asked, "The priests from your tribe, they didn't…"

"No, just me," she replied, "The reason she's scared is because she's never been with a man, so she doesn't know what to expect, and with _that_ as a first impression, it's natural she's scared to death of having to lie with Kronos once they're married."

"I suppose it does, but what's going to happen?" Methos asked, "Kronos isn't going to hurt her, although I do think he plans to try with her at least once when they're married."

"Then I hope he can move fast enough because she can kick just as hard as I can," Ruth said, "Methos…how old are you? Really, I know you're older than you should be, but how old?"

He had to think for a minute, "Little over a thousand."

"And Kronos?"

"Little past eight hundred."

"And is it weird to be married to someone as young as I am?" Ruth asked.

"I don't know, I've never been married before," Methos confessed, a bit embarrassed.

"Never?"

"Never."

"Good thing you live forever then," she said, "What about Kronos, has he been married?"

"Yes."

"To other Immortals?"

Methos shook his head, "No."

"So he probably wouldn't think it weird being married to Jezebel."

"Probably not, now I have a question."

"Yes?"

"You know that Immortals can't have children, and we're married, does it bother you that you'll never be a mother?"

"No," Ruth replied, "I don't think I'd want children, especially not with the lives we lead, we always have to watch for attacks, and that brother of yours, Caspian, I don't trust him, he'd probably eat the babies if they ever got out of our sight."

Methos nodded.

"You're getting that look on your face again," Ruth said.

"What look?"

"The one you had when you went into that mood Kronos was talking about, what's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"Really? Well I think I can take care of that 'nothing', let's go back to your tent," Ruth said, "I don't mind everybody knowing we love each other but I'm not open to them watching."

* * *

Jezebel awoke to the feel of someone's hand lightly brushing across her skin, she opened one eye and looked up and saw Kronos, stroking her flesh like an animal's fur.

"Do I even want to know what you're doing?" she asked.

"Just watching you," he replied with a most unusual look on his face, it was one that said he was up to something.

"You're weird, Kronos, you know that, right?" she asked.

She shifted from her side onto her back and stretched out, but that didn't help her much, there was still something wrong with her. She didn't know what it was, but there'd been something wrong for a while now, and it wasn't getting any better. Instead of saying anything to Kronos, her hand snaked over to his and gripped it hard.

"Something you want?" he asked.

Jezebel shook her head, "Just don't leave me right now."

"What's the matter?"

"My heart…it's pounding so hard I think I'm going to die, and I don't know what happened to cause this."

Kronos thought she'd gotten worked up over something and he suggested she try to calm down.

"I _was_ calm when it started, doing it again won't help," she replied.

Kronos laid his free hand on her chest and felt the rapid beating of her heart. It was uncomfortable enough the way it felt against his hand, he couldn't imagine how it felt to her inside of her chest.

"When did this start?"

"After you left," she answered, "When I tried to sleep."

Kronos could almost hear the noise of the beats, "Do you think this happened because we decided to get married? I can understand it's something to get excited about."

"I don't know," Jezebel replied, "I tried to calm down after it started, but it didn't do any good, so I tried to sleep and hoped my body would relax, but it hasn't stopped yet."

"Jezebel," Kronos thought of something else, "Are you afraid of what will happen once we are married?"

She hesitated in answer, "I don't know, Kronos, I just don't know."

Uncertainty may have ruled her emotions, but Kronos could also see in it a wide streak of fear as well, "You do realize that I'm not going to force you to do anything you're uncomfortable with, don't you? Ruth's not the only one with that history, Jezebel, I've been raped too in the past, so has Methos and so has Caspian, we know what it's like. We understand the fear though now that we've gotten beyond our positions as slaves, we try to forget it, but we still recognize that fear very well. That is why Methos could never hurt Ruth, because he has been raped countless times by people of every sort…when we first met, if I even came anywhere near him, he did all but shrivel into a ball and wail."

"Really?"

"And worse, before we found him, he had been raped, beaten, murdered, starved, burnt, I really don't know that any torture exists that he didn't suffer. He was so weak at first that I had to be with him constantly to make sure he didn't get hurt…when I'd take him to the river to wash he would panic when he was undressed, he'd stiffen up and near pass out, he almost drowned repeatedly that way. On top of that, once I got him to water shallow enough he couldn't drown, he came to and panicked again, he fought me with everything in him, even when he knew it was me."

"Then how…what happened?" Jezebel asked, realizing that what he just described in no way sounded like the man she'd known the last several days.

"It took some time, and a lot of bruising and clawing and crying and many sleepless nights and a lot of patience and love, but I finally got him out of it. He still remembers, though now it's not so terrible. I've spent better parts of the last ten years bringing him out of all that, there is no way in the world I'd make another like what he was. Please believe me when I say that I'm not going to hurt you."

"I know, Kronos, I know…"

"Well what are you worried about then?" Kronos asked, "You know Immortals are barren, you don't have to worry about mothering any infants."

"And don't think I'm not glad about that," Jezebel said, "I'm sorry, Kronos, I don't know what it is, but I'm scared of what's going to happen sooner or later."

Kronos was still having the life squeezed out of his left hand so he ran through Jezebel's short hair with his right. "It's allright, I don't even remember when the last time I bedded a woman was, if I could wait long enough that I can't even think of it, I can wait again."

"That's the problem, Kronos, you may be doing just that, waiting, and nothing more, for my entire life," Jezebel said, "You really want to be married to that?"

"I don't care, I love you, Jezebel, with or without laying with you, I'll always love you, can you understand that?"

"Yes, I understand, I just hope that you don't decide otherwise in 20 or 30 years because we could be in the exact same position we are now," Jezebel told him.

"I can live with that," he said.

Jezebel took in a long breath, and let it out, and then she placed her hand on her chest, "It's stopped."

"What has?"

"My heart, its quit pounding now, I feel fine."

"Good."

* * *

Methos looked at Ruth, who was and had been for some time, sleeping peacefully. A good wife, a wonderful woman, she knew what she did when she laid with him, she could make him happy, she could make him love her even more than he did the time before, she could make him forget anything that had upset him. But, she could only do so much, and what was bothering him now, was bigger than both of them. He had to get away, he slipped out of the bed and started putting on his clothes, as he did, he looked at the cloth tied on his arm. Except for washing, he seldom took it off, but this was the first time in many days that he'd even remembered he had it on.

How he dreaded the day that would come when Ruth would see it one time too many and ask why he wore it, why it was important. How could he answer her? Just thinking about it brought him more pain than he could think about now. He finished dressing and left the tent without so much as looking back at his wife, he knew she had a right to know, he just didn't know how he could ever tell her. And now, he realized with great horror, he couldn't stay with her either, he had to get away. Not for long he reminded himself, but he wouldn't be returning soon either.

* * *

"Kronos?"

He couldn't even remember falling asleep, but he woke up and Ruth entered the tent. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No, what do you want?" Kronos asked.

"Have you seen Methos?" she asked, "I can't find him anywhere."

"No I haven't, how long's he been gone?"

"I don't know, I woke up a while ago and he wasn't there, I've looked all over, I checked with Silas and Caspian, I went down to the river, I can't find him."

"Oh boy," Kronos got to his feet.

"You don't think something happened do you?" she asked.

"No, but I'll go look and see if I have any luck finding him," Kronos explained, "You stay here with Jezebel, the last thing we need is more people disappearing."

After Kronos left, Jezebel asked Ruth, "Where do you think Methos went?"

"I don't know but I hope he's allright, something's been bothering him lately," Ruth said, "he won't say what, but I know something's wrong."

* * *

After hearing that Methos was gone, Silas had gone out looking for him, hoping nothing had happened. Taking in the possibility that maybe he had been attacked, he took his axe with him, ready to kill anyone who might get in his way if necessary. It was obvious that his brother was nowhere in the open, so he'd have to look where he might be able to hide, and there were plenty of places like that to look.

One hour passed, and it turned to two, three…by the time he was able to feel his brother's presence, the sun was starting to set. He found Methos down by the river with his back turned to him, even so, all did not appear to be well with his brother. Silas rested his axe at his side as he approached him. "Methos?"

Methos slowly turned around to face him and Silas was shocked by what he saw. Methos' face was red and stained with tears, he tried washing it away with the cold water of the river. He looked down as he spoke, "Silas."

Silas dropped his axe and held Methos' face in his hands to get a better look at him. "My God, what's happened, Methos, what's wrong?"

Methos gently pushed the hands away one by one, "Nothing, Silas, I'm allright, I just…I had to get away for a while."

"You've been gone a long time, what is it? What's bothering you?"

Methos turned back around, "I was just thinking, when Ruth and I married, we were there, Kronos was there, Jezebel was there, you and Caspian were there, but somebody wasn't there. Somebody was missing."

"Who?" Silas asked.

"Mary."

No sooner had he said it, he started crying again, the sobs were short and quick, but they took all the air out of him, he'd start hyperventilating soon if he didn't stop, but he didn't care. "Just when I think I'm over it, something always has to happen and remind me that she's gone, that she was taken from us. During the wedding, I looked around because I felt something was wrong, somebody wasn't there who should've been…how I got through that the first time I don't know, and now we're going back there in a week so Kronos and Jezebel can marry, and I know I'm going to find myself looking for Mary again," he wept.

He felt Silas' large hand on the back of his head, turning him to face his brother, only he couldn't. Methos settled for burying his face in his hands and leaning against Silas as a strong arm wrapped around his back and held him close.

"How much longer can this go on? Every time," Methos struggled to speak, "Every time I think I'm over it, it happens again."

"I know, I know, brother, I know, the pain's just as great, just not as constant."

Methos' head was already pounding in pain, it didn't help that a few minutes later, they felt the presence of a third Immortal, followed quickly by Kronos' panicked cries of, "Oh my God, what's happened to him? What's wrong?"

Methos screamed like a wounded beast when he felt Kronos' arms wrap around him from behind to pull him against him to see him. From there, he had no recollection of what happened next, he only knew that he woke up back in his tent, in his bed, and Ruth was with him, holding him, rubbing his back, stroking his head, waiting for an explanation. Kronos had told her some of what it was about, but now she wanted the whole story, and he told her, through tears he told her about the 10 years they knew Mary before she was brutally murdered.

"So that's why you were asking about children," she said when he had finished his sorrowful story.

"Yes," he confessed.

"Why did you keep this a secret from me?" she asked.

"It hurt too much to talk about it, even remembering it was enough to kill me. Every time I think I'm over it, I start hurting again, and I wonder if it's ever going to quit."

"It will someday," Ruth told him, "Maybe that's why you're Immortal, it takes time to heal from it, like it has with everything else."

Methos looked at her, "And how do you know so much?"

"I'm supposed to be a witch, remember? They know more than other people, at least that's what I've heard."

Methos sighed and took Ruth's hand in his, "So now you know, every part of it."

"Not quite, how exactly did Mary die?" Ruth asked.

Of all the questions to ask, this was the hardest to answer. "The soldiers killed her."

"What soldiers?"

"I don't know what they were from."

"How did they kill her?"

"I don't know, Kronos buried her long before I was there."

"Another thing I wonder, _why_ did they kill her? From what you said, she was beautiful, you'd think they'd want to take her for…" Methos turned to her with the coldest look in his eyes she'd ever seen. "It is possible, Methos, common too. You know that, I know that, as much as we hate it, it does happen."

"If that's what they had in mind, she would've fought them, and they probably killed her for that," Methos replied.

"Then I guess there's the answer," Ruth said, "What men want, they have, or else they take, and if they can't do even that, they make sure nobody else can have it. A simple greed that makes men, and also that destroys them, why they haven't figured that out for themselves, to prevent their own deaths from coming so soon, I don't know. Men are supposed to be the smarter of the people but for a good number of them, when you come down to it they're as simple-minded as infants."

Methos eyed her suspiciously, "Are you sure you're not a witch?"

"If I were, I would've turned Caspian into a dog by now, or perhaps a snake, or maybe I'd turn him into the fitting rat that he is, and keep him as a pet, or for food."

Oh yes, Methos could see that the two of them were going to be _very_ happy in their marriage. "I'm tired," he said.

"I know, you were so tired before, it took both Kronos and Silas just to bring you back here, and when they did, I thought you were dead. After they left, you weren't breathing too much so I poked you with a stick and you didn't even move, I'd been waiting to see if you were going to wake up."

"I'm sorry I worried you."

"I wasn't worried, I was just waiting. So, do you think you'll be allright when we go back to the village?"

"I hope so."

"Me too…Methos."

"What?"

"Do you think Kronos and Jezebel will be as happy as we are once they're married?"

"I don't know."

"I hope so, they deserve it."

Methos had to agree, after everything that they'd been through, they deserved to be happy.

* * *

"Kronos."

He opened his eyes and saw Jezebel lying next to him, her whole body laid straight and she looked directly above. He was getting tired of this, it seemed every time he was about to go to sleep, she thought of something else to wake him up for. "Yes?"

"Are you upset that we won't be able to have children?" she asked.

"No," he replied as he turned on his side.

"Why?"

"Because I've been the father to children before, and I've had enough of that to last me a long time."

"You mean like what you said to Ruth about the little girl?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I mean."

"Kronos, you were there when she died, what _did_ happen to her?" Jezebel asked as she sat up.

Kronos rolled onto his stomach and got on his knees, "I don't want Methos to find out what happened, it'll only make him more upset."

"I won't tell," Jezebel said.

"Allright."

Kronos leaned into her and whispered in her ear, recalling the tragic events from that night. When he finished, the only thing she could bring herself to say was, "Horrible, for everyone."

"Yes, and that's why Methos can never know, it would kill him."

"And that's also why you don't want children either," Jezebel said.

"Makes it easier to get through this life," Kronos said.

"I see."

Kronos suddenly felt very cold next to her, "What?"

"Maybe we'll be husband and wife soon, but I remember when I was a child, you were there, you promised you would take me with you, if you resent children so much, why did you do that?"

"I don't resent them, I've just had many of them in the closest to what families I'll have, die either by illness or brutal murder over the years, that I really don't know how many more times I can go through it. When you remember me staying with you and your father, it hadn't gotten that bad. Two wives, eleven kids, six dead by rotten herbs by the healers when they were ill, the other five met their deaths when they went exploring the land around them. I forgot it, I moved on, I met you, I stayed through the years, I left, I married again, had another daughter, and what was done to her I will never forget if I love another eight hundred years. I didn't want that to happen again, and it did, this time just without the benefit of marriage. This time, I'm glad for a change that I'll have a wife without the consequences of children. Maybe in another hundred years I'll try it again, but not now. Mary died not too long ago, I can't go through it again this soon."

Jezebel sighed, "I understand." She kissed him and went back to bed.

Kronos also laid down again to sleep, though he still felt a definite cold between the two of them.

* * *

Another day passed, and one day became another, and then the next, and finally the week had past, and the six of them made yet another trip back to the village. Riding out before the sun came up, in hope of returning to their camp before the sun went down again.

Jezebel rode with Kronos, and Ruth with Methos, and while they rode, Methos tried to think of a way to make sure Ruth didn't try to attack if she even suspected they were being followed again. This time she decided if someone tried to attack them, it wouldn't be easy, she proved that by hiding a dagger up her dress. High up on her thigh she'd tied a piece of twine and slid the dagger in place. Her dress went down to near her feet, so nobody unsuspecting would see it until it was too late. Proud though he was that she was ready to fight, he worried she might strike someone before it was necessary.

The sun had risen and was well overhead by the time they actually reached the village, and it was obvious that not much had changed in the few days since they were last here.

"Well what do we do now?" Silas asked.

Kronos took a look around and came to a decision. "Caspian, go find the priest, Silas, you go with him to make sure he doesn't start any trouble."

"What about us?" Ruth asked.

"You I haven't decided yet."

"And us?" Jezebel asked.

"Well before they get the priest here, let's see if we can get to the river to wash first."

"What for?"

"Well I'd imagine if there are going to be people around us, it would help if we didn't smell like the horses."

Kronos grabbed her arm but she jerked away from him. "I can wash myself, Kronos, I don't need help, and I'll thank you not to follow me."

After she had gone, he turned to the others and said, likely more to himself than to them, "What did I do now?"

"She's probably just nervous," Ruth said, "Try to understand that."

"I am trying, and the more I do, the more I realize we seem to fight more times than not."

"As long as it doesn't come to weapons, I don't see the problem," Ruth replied, "But as long as she's not here at the moment, I think I should tell you something."

"What's that?" Kronos asked.

"If at any time during this century that you plan on bedding her, don't worry about it too much, you can't hurt her as easily as the others."

"What?"

"She's a virgin, but…" Ruth tried to find the right words to say it, "She won't bleed, consider yourself lucky there. If she did, she would probably kill you once it was over. And if you ever do anything to hurt her on purpose, _I'll_ kill you"

After taking a minute to comprehend what she told him, Kronos said, "You know, I always used to think Immortals were the most dangerous people on the planet…now that I'm getting married, I'm not so sure."

A woman belonging to the village came up to them, and just going by the look on her face, they were not welcome people. "What do you want with a priest? Is somebody dying?"

"Do we look like we're ill?" Kronos asked.

"Yes," she replied.

Her response genuinely shocked Kronos and he did nothing except for let his jaw drop. Ruth however, was ready to pounce on her but Methos pulled her back.

Within short time, a priest was found, a small crowd was gathered, Kronos and Jezebel stood side by side, joined in an eternal vow to love each other until death, sanctified by the priest and the God of the people, and watched by many strangers, and the few of their 'family'.

This time, it was Methos who got a chance to stand back and watch while his brother was the mess, trying to remember what to say and what to do. He loved it. Of course this time, with Methos being in Kronos' place, it was decided best if he, Silas, and Ruth, stood close by to make sure Caspian didn't do anything stupid. So, Silas stood on one foot, Methos the other, and Ruth pulled her knife out from up on her thigh and held the tip of the blade at his back so nobody else would see it.

Methos watched the event in wonder and amaze, he didn't know if he could recall a time when he saw Kronos as happy as he was now. Of course, even with this blessed event, they still weren't too welcome among the villagers, but it didn't matter, soon they would be returning to camp and they would go on with their lives, more or less as they had already been doing.

* * *

One day passed, and one became another until a week had passed, and another week, and during that time, not once was there even any reason to think that they had been followed back from the village.

"What do you think it is?" Jezebel asked.

"Maybe when they saw we returned and their men didn't, they decided not to try again," Kronos thought.

"Maybe, but I don't know, they certainly didn't appreciate having us there," Jezebel said, "Maybe…"

"What?"

"Maybe we should find somewhere else to go," Jezebel said, "After this time maybe they're not going to come after us, but if we stay here I'm going to spend every day waiting for them to attack."

Kronos thought about it for a minute and agreed, "However, I don't want to leave here not knowing what we could get into…it wouldn't do us any good to ride for days and only find ourselves with no food or water. We'll see what's ahead of us, but in the meantime, we're going to keep everything here. I don't like the idea of going off where we might be without water and murderous heat."

"Especially with Ruth," Jezebel said.

"How is she?"

"Not good."

Ruth had fallen ill a few days before, and while the reason for it was unknown, spoiled food was everybody's guess.

"Is she any better?" Kronos asked.

"Not really, she gets cold and when Methos covers her up she gets hot, he's scared to even touch her because anytime he does he burns her skin, she won't eat anything and she sleeps all day and all night."

Kronos tried to think. "Maybe a healer would know what to do with her."

"I tried that already, she says she won't go, and she won't have one come here either," Jezebel explained, "She asks that we just let her rest."

"Let her rest, very well, but Methos needs to rest too," Kronos said, "Come on."

"Where're we going?"

"To see them, you take Methos, I'll see if I can do anything for Ruth."

"What can you do?" Jezebel asked.

"I don't know, but I have an idea she knows something she's not telling him," Kronos replied.


	15. Chapter 15

They found Methos sitting beside Ruth, who was already asleep and he wasn't too far behind her. He stroked through her short hair since it was the only place that didn't burn when he touched her. She appeared to be resting peacefully, but he looked like the dead come alive.

"How is she?" Kronos asked.

"She's sleeping," Methos replied.

Kronos turned to his wife, "Jezebel, take Methos with you and tell him your plan, I'll stay here and make sure nothing happens to Ruth."

"Okay," Jezebel went over to Methos and pulled him up and over to the entrance to the tent, "Come on, Methos."

She had remarkable strength for a woman her size, leaving Methos with no choice but to follow her, and for that Kronos was thankful. After they had left, he knelt down beside her in the bed and touched her shoulder to see if it burnt her. When it seemed obvious she wasn't feeling anything, he moved his hand over to her chest and moved it down across just where the dress covered her. Her eyes opened a bit and she said, "Methos, what do you want?"

Kronos almost laughed, "Ruth, it's not Methos, it's me," he opened one of her eyelids so she could see him. The other quickly joined it, and she did not look pleased.

"Get out of my bed," she told him.

"How're you feeling?" he asked.

"Oh, not quite as bad I don't think," she replied, "How's Methos? After all, he is the one who's been looking after me these last few days."

"A mess, so Jezebel took him with her, and I decided to stay and watch you."

"You have a strange habit of that, you know?"

"What?"

"Watching women while they sleep, Jezebel told me about that."

"Is there _anything_ you two don't tell each other?" Kronos asked.

"No," she looked at him through half-closed eyes that had definite "trouble" in them. "You better be careful, Kronos, a jealous wife is not good to have."

"Jealous?" Kronos laughed, "Jealous of what?"

"Well how do you think it looks, you staying in the bed of your brother's wife?" she asked.

"The same way it looks having your husband in bed with _my_ wife," Kronos replied.

"Good, just remember what I told you, if you ever do anything to hurt her, I'll kill you," Ruth said, "And you won't even have to put a hand on her to hurt her either."

"Ruth, have you been ill like this before?"

"A few times, and if you've been married, you know what comes after this."

Ruth laid back down and closed her eyes. Kronos was considering finding Methos and telling him why Ruth was the way she was when he noticed something. At the foot of the bed, one of the animal furs used to make up the bed had been left out of place, and in the dirt of the earth beneath it, he saw something. Knowing Ruth wasn't asleep yet, he asked, "What's that?"

Her eyes opened, "What's what?" And she saw it.

The night she'd gotten sick, she had been working with Methos on his writing, and since they had already retired to their tent for the night, they continued working on it there, by finding some smooth dirt to write in with the blade of Methos' knife. She'd become sick quite suddenly, and neither of them paid attention to putting the fur back in place.

"What is this?" Kronos asked again.

"Minoan," Ruth answered as she stood up.

"What?"

"Writing…when I got away from my tribe, I learned the languages, how to say them, how to write them…and Methos wanted to learn, so I've been teaching him. He didn't want you to find out because he's afraid you'd be mad at him for it, well if you're going to be mad at anybody for it, then it's me, and I'm right here, so do whatever it is you're going to, I don't care."

She looked him in the eyes and she waited for him to do something, and it was a long wait, when he did nothing, she spoke again.

"It's not hurting anyone, he wants to learn to write, let him learn it, Kronos, it makes him happy, he's too scared to tell you about it because he thinks he's burdened you enough already, but he's ashamed that he doesn't know anything. You at least know something, but you won't teach him, so I am."

Kronos laughed, "How long has this been going on?"

"Since we married, he still needs to work on it though, he can't write more than your names."

"I see."

"Are you mad?"

"No. Though I sure thought by now, Methos would know he could tell me anything he had on his mind." Kronos looked over the weird symbols in the earth, "So that's why I don't hear any noise coming from here during the nights."

"You're one to talk, I haven't heard any noise coming from yours either," Ruth replied.

"Yes, but you know why that is," he said.

"Yes," Ruth laid back down, "I'm sure you don't know how much she appreciates it, you being as patient with her as you are. I guess that's a good thing to living forever, you have time to do things."

"What'd you say?" Kronos asked.

"Say it, Kronos, I know it's true, Jezebel's like you and the others, or rather she will be someday. That's why you're patient with her, because you _know_ you have time, because you know she'll still be there just as young and beautiful as she is now."

He knew there was no use trying to deny it, she was right.

"How did you know?" Kronos asked.

"Well," Ruth said, "When she told me about how you were Immortal, I realized that there might be a reason then, that though she's perfectly healthy, she doesn't bleed like I do. She's older than I am and the people of our tribe never found any reason to think her a witch, at least not like me. They said she was a witch because she knew more than they did, too much to still live, but not like they thought I was a witch. And when I thought about it, it only made sense that a man who could live forever and never age, never grow ill, wouldn't for much reason want to wait on a mortal woman who was scared to be touched, unless she too had that time to spare."

And for the first time in many years, Kronos felt his heart stop completely. "Does Jezebel know?"

"No," Ruth replied, "I know that if you wanted her to know, she'd know it by now. Besides, there's no point in reminding her that one day, it'll just be her and the four of you. But, I also think it's nice to know that once I'm gone, Methos won't be alone because he'll have all of you still with him."

Kronos crawled over to the bed until he was right above her, and he said to her, "Methos is a very lucky man."

"How's that?" she asked.

"Well, if I didn't have Jezebel, and he hadn't taken you, I would've been very happy to marry you."

* * *

During the night, Kronos had explained to Methos what had happened, and moved Ruth down near the river since she would need to bathe soon enough.

"How did Methos take the news that I would have to stay down here for the next few days?" she asked.

"A bit upset, but he's relieved that you're not ill, not really."

"He's not coming down here is he?" she asked.

"No, he wanted to, but I explained you'd rather he didn't right now."

"Thank you, although…"

"Although what?" Kronos asked.

"Maybe you should stay with him, after all this time, won't he be uncomfortable sleeping by himself?" Ruth asked.

"He's not by himself, he's spending the night with Silas, and his dog."

"What about Jezebel? Is it fair she be alone now?" Ruth asked, "She can't really understand what's going on now."

"I'm sure if she gets lonely, she'll go join the others," Kronos said, "Actually I'm glad that right now it's just the two of us here."

"Why?" Ruth asked, "If you're looking to get from me what you can't with Jezebel…"

Kronos laughed, "Nothing like that."

"Then lucky for your testicles," she replied.

"I've just been thinking about something lately, and I wanted to ask you."

"Ask me what?"

"If you had the chance, would you want to be Immortal? I can't imagine it'd be easy living with people who you knew they would live forever and never change, whereas you…"

"Grow old and die," Ruth finished for him, "And it would make sense since we can't have children anyway, and Methos is so easily hurt, by the time I do die it'll probably kill him as well."

"I see you've thought about it as well," Kronos said.

"A little…and I would not. I'm planned to die at sometime, I can't change that, and I don't think it would be wise to try…when I leave, it'll be for a reason," she explained. "Then after that, maybe Methos can find somebody else, somebody who actually _is_ Immortal, so he'll have someone to continue growing old with…instead of someone he'll have to bury after a few years." An odd sound drew her attention to Kronos, and she couldn't believe what she saw. "You're crying!"

Kronos smiled awkwardly and laughed as he wiped the tears away, "You could make a serpent weep, it's a wonder you haven't gotten Methos upset yet."

"Methos doesn't know I think of death, not mine anyway, and when _he_ starts thinking about death, I just take him back to bed and he doesn't think about anything until the next day."

"Apparently that's something you're very good at," Kronos said.

"That's what I'm told," she said. "Kronos."

"What?"

"Do you love Methos?"

"He's my brother!"

"But do you love him?"

"Of course I do!" Kronos replied.

"Good," she said, "It's nice to know that once I'm gone, Methos will be well taken care of. He's strong, but he can't survive on his own."

"I know."

"Then you will take care of him when I die?" Ruth asked.

Kronos wanted to ask her to stop talking about her death, but instead he told her, "Of course I will."

* * *

After four days and countless trips into the river to wash, Ruth returned back to the camp, and once she did, everything was taken down and tied up, and they left. They traveled for six days before finding land enough that they could finally be to themselves and not have to worry about villagers from nearby coming to attack. There was enough unclaimed land that if anybody tried attacking from any direction, they would be seen long before they could get close enough to strike.

Getting all their belongings put up and put away took most of the day, and by the time they had the chance to eat, it was well past the time they usually went to sleep. The irony of it was that they had spent all the day and part of the night setting their tents up, now they were too tired to go each their own way to go to sleep, instead they were all laying on top of each other out in the middle of the grounds.

Methos felt an arm over his head so he pushed it back, but it returned where it was. He opened his eyes to see who he was trying to push away from him, and it was Silas, looking around he saw he wasn't the only one having trouble sleeping. Jezebel was trying to sleep but was having great trouble due to the fact that Caspian's left foot kept finding its way to her face, she pushed it away but it returned, several times that incident repeated, until she decided what to do about it. She drew her lips as far back from her teeth as she could get them, until her face strongly resembled a wild animal when it snarled, and she carefully fitted her teeth above and beneath the side of his foot which she found too fleshy to resist biting down on as hard as she could.

As soon as he started screaming, she drew back from his foot, laid down and did the best impression of a dead sleep that Methos had ever seen. It was all he could do not to laugh when everyone else woke up and Caspian complained somebody had bitten him. Silas shrugged it off as he was just crazy, as he always had been, and Methos was surprised to hear Kronos agree with Silas. After that, it was obvious nobody trusted anybody to go back to sleep in the pile they were in, so they each went to their own tents.

"Methos."

"What?"

"Do you think Kronos and Jezebel will be doing anything tonight that they'll want to be alone?" Ruth asked.

"No," he answered.

"Neither do I," Ruth replied, "So let's go visit them."

She was gone before Methos had a chance to say anything, so he said nothing and followed her to Kronos' tent. They apparently had just gotten settled into bed when they came in, and no sooner had Ruth stepped in, she jumped in between the two of them in the bed.

"Well we're awake now," Kronos said, and he looked to Methos, "And how about you, Brother? Do you plan to join us?"

He hesitated for a moment, but once he figured that Kronos held no malice against them for intruding, he joined them, however he slipped in between Ruth and Jezebel in a more graceful manner.

* * *

He woke up in the dark, but he certainly wasn't alone. In the dim of the night he saw he was in a bed with three other people, and he slowly recognized them as his wife, Ruth, his brother Kronos, and his wife, Jezebel, although not in that order.

Kronos laid at the far end, and Ruth was nudged up next to him, and Methos lay right beside her, and practically laying on him was Jezebel. If anybody who didn't know any better, were to come into the tent right now and see them like this, they'd swear that they were not married to the people that they were. Rather they would think Kronos was married to Ruth, and Methos to Jezebel. Then, Methos about had to laugh at himself for even thinking of such a ridiculous thing. With that, he laid back down and went to sleep, morning came not long after.

* * *

"Methos, do you ever wonder if we married the wrong women?" Kronos asked the next morning, when it was just the two of them in his tent.

"What?" Methos couldn't believe what he heard.

"If you think about it, it seems that we married the wrong ones. Jezebel tends to be more like you, quiet, calm, and she doesn't look for trouble."

"And it seems Ruth is more like you, she does what she does and doesn't care about what happens because of it," Methos realized.

"See? You notice it too," Kronos said, "Now, I'm not saying that it was a mistake to marry the ones we did, it just seems they're meant more for the ones they didn't marry."

"True, however maybe it's good that we're not completely alike," Methos said, "That might become boring after a while."

"You could be right," Kronos replied, "Ruth certainly keeps you on your feet, although," he smirked, "Not half as much as on your back."

Methos picked up on his brother's humor, "You sound jealous, Kronos."

"Well…" Kronos sheepishly grinned as he looked the other way.

Methos laughed, "Your time's coming, Kronos."

* * *

In fact, Kronos' time with Jezebel came about a week later. Jezebel demanded to be alone when she bathed in the river, however that didn't stop Kronos from watching her from afar. However tonight, Jezebel seemed to be moving a bit slow, and once she got back on the land, she laid down on a fur she'd dragged out to dry on and seemed to pass out before she could even get dressed again. Kronos made his way down to her to see what had happened. However by the time he got down next to her, he saw two eyes full of mischief looking at him.

"Jezebel."

It was no act she put on to how tired she was, but before she drifted into sleep she asked him, "Enjoying the view?"

Kronos wrapped her in the fur and carried Jezebel back to their tent and laid her down on the bed, she opened her eyes again and slowly unwrapped herself from the fur. "Like how it looks?"

At first he didn't know what she was talking about, and then, he thought he got it. He looked down to where her scar had been and saw that it had faded into a line just slightly darker than the color of her skin. "It's healed quite nicely."

"Not that, idiot," Jezebel moved the fur down lower to expose the majority of the flesh of her breasts, "Like it?"

"Very much," Kronos couldn't figure out what had made her change to this all of a sudden, but he decided to find out just how far it was going.

He was right on top of her, almost, and he felt her hands snake around his waist and squeeze, and at that, he wriggled out of her hold and backed up. "What's going on, Jezebel?"

"My guess is what you've been wanting to happen since we married," she replied, "And I must say I'm looking forward to this myself, but first, let's have a drink." A mischievous smile formed on her face, "I have a feeling we're really going to warm up tonight."

After a couple drinks of wine, Jezebel laid back and seemed relaxed enough to actually enjoy what was going to happen, and Kronos certainly hoped so because if not, either way he was bound to pay for it with a knife in his throat. He grabbed at the bottom of the fur to pull it away from her body, but she hesitated, in fact she pulled the top of the fur back up to cover her breasts and she said to him, "Not yet, take your clothes off first."

Kronos did as he was told and once he had removed his clothes, Jezebel looked him over a couple of times. "Then I guess this is it."

Had he been a man with any less of a brain, Kronos would've jumped on this opportunity, and Jezebel, but something stopped him.

"Jezebel."

"What?"

"We haven't been married long, but why all of a sudden have you decided to do this?"

She looked him straight in the eyes and answered, "It's taken me as much time as passed since our marriage, to work myself up to being as willing as I am. I don't know that if we wait any longer, I'll be any braver for what's going to happen. So I think we should now, and see what happens."

Kronos crawled over to her until he was on top of her again, he looked her up and down, and he held her face in his hands, and he said, "I love you."

"I know."

"I'm not going to hurt you."

"Not on purpose anyway, I know that also."

Jezebel pulled the fur down again, only this time to reveal her entire body. Kronos laid down so she was perfectly laid against the bed, but not so she couldn't get out from under him if she wanted to. However, he quickly found out she didn't want to.

* * *

"Do you still love me?" she asked the next morning when they woke up.

"Very much, but where did you learn to do those things?" Kronos asked.

"I talk to Ruth all the time, where do you think I learned them?" Jezebel asked.

"That would explain it."

Jezebel smiled and fell back asleep, and Kronos noticed through the corner of his eye, somebody watching from the entrance. He turned and looked, but nobody was there. Nobody he could sense anyway. He looked back at Jezebel and saw she wouldn't be getting up anytime soon, so he drew the fur over her body to cover her, then he got himself quickly dressed and went out to find who had been watching them. He got his answer when he saw Ruth trying to run back the way she and Methos had come, he chased after her for a short while but stopped when he reached both of them, and Ruth was laughing for some reason.

"Sending your woman to watch, is that it?" he asked.

"Don't blame Methos," Ruth told him, "Jezebel told me yesterday what she had planned, so I gave her a few ideas and decided to see if they worked. Going by the noise you two made is one thing, but I decided to see it for myself. And going by how you looked a short while ago, I'd say she did just fine last night."

"You were listening to us last night?"

"Why not? You have no problem listening with us," Ruth said, "Besides, I warned you if you hurt her, I'd kill you. So I listened to make sure she was allright, and going by the sounds she made, I guess you'll live through the day. But, just to make sure, I'm going to go see her for myself."

After Ruth had gone, Methos asked Kronos, "Do you still think she's more dangerous than the Immortals?"

"More than ever," Kronos replied, "But I know she's like that for a reason. She's very protective of Jezebel."

"If only she knew," Methos said.

Kronos had decided it best not to tell Methos that Ruth knew much than he thought she did. Ruth wasn't going to tell Jezebel that she would be Immortal, so there was no reason for Methos to know that Ruth already knew it. "Yes, if only, but, until either she becomes Immortal or Ruth…well I guess I'll just be spending the rest of this lifetime waiting for her to kill me in my sleep."

Methos laughed even though he knew there was reason to worry. Ruth tended to jump to conclusions and act before she thought, and her being mortal, Kronos would never sense her coming, and if she ever would decide to kill Kronos, she probably could, and she now knew the way to kill Immortals. He knew that they would both be busy for a long time, he would be making sure she didn't get too far away from him, and Kronos would be getting less sleep making sure she didn't sneak away and try to kill him at night. But Methos reminded himself, it wouldn't be forever, it might not even be for long. That was the misfortune of loving a mortal, within a short while, their time would be up.

* * *

For the next 20 years, time seemed almost at a standstill, every few years they would leave for new land, although it was about all the same. There were no other Immortals around, few tribes, nobody to cause any trouble, so those were years spent in silence and peace. It was the first time in Methos' life that he could actually recall experiencing such a thing, so it was safe to guess he enjoyed it more than the rest. Kronos would have been bored with the atmosphere, except that Jezebel managed to always keep his interest in something, particularly in bed. He never found out what Ruth told her, but whatever it was, she did it just as well because she tended to keep Methos in bed for about as many days as Jezebel did Kronos.

Still about every night also, Ruth dragged Methos down to the dirt to work on the writing he was improving on. Through the years he managed to learn to write just about every word that he could think of, and he was able to put them together to actually write out something. Neither had much to say when writing, except on certain nights when they didn't want Kronos to hear what they had to say. They were both well aware that he listened whether it was wanted or not, that is he did whenever Jezebel wasn't keeping him busy.

One night Methos decided to surprise Ruth by writing something of his own doing, without any help from her. She waited patiently on their bed as he tore lines into the dirt that formed the symbols, until he had completely written out what he had planned. She looked over the markings and read and reread the words to make sure she got it right. It read 'Methos loves Ruth'. Three simple words, but well worth the wait to see him accomplish doing so by himself.

"Excellent work, Methos," she said.

"It took long enough, do you have any idea how long we've been doing this?" he asked.

"Well, I never claimed to be great, or fast when I started teaching you, but I think you finally got it…and I love you too, of course you know that."

"Yes I do."

"Good," Ruth kissed him, "Now let's go to sleep, I'm tired."

That surprised Methos, usually he and Ruth didn't go to sleep until much later than this. But it had been a busy day, and they were all tired. However it seemed Ruth was more so than the rest, she didn't even bother taking off the dress she'd been wearing for the last several days, she just slipped into bed wearing it. Methos decided to save her the trouble and grabbed the bottom of it.

"Leave it on," she said.

"But Ruth, you've worn it long enough, it and you both need washing."

"I'm not going down to the river to wash," she replied, "And you're not going to pour that basin on me either, I just want to sleep."

"Then how about we just get you out of this to rest?" Methos asked.

"I'll sleep in it."

"Allright," Methos moved back up in the bed and draped the furs and blankets over them. Ruth was already asleep, and Methos was wondering just what she could've done today that would make her this tired. He leaned over closer to her to take in how beautiful she still looked, even with 20 years time passed and gone. She still looked as beautiful as the day that Kronos brought her with him. He laid his head on her chest and was considering actually going to sleep himself, this was one of his preferred ways to sleep, and one that they both had grown used to over the years. Methos shifted a bit to get more comfortable, and in doing so, his ear pressed against her heart, and he realized something was wrong.

* * *

Methos knew this day was coming, he had known it from the start, he just hadn't wanted to actually think about it, but now, time had run out. Ruth's heartbeat was slowing down and becoming quiet, she would be dead soon, and there wasn't a thing he could do about it. What exactly went through his mind from that time, he didn't know, he couldn't think of much of anything except to get the both of them away from here. He woke Ruth up though she was reluctant, got her to her feet, and got them both out of there. They went to where the horses were kept, Methos untied his and got Ruth on first, then joined her and jerked on the reins and they got out of there. He didn't know where they were going, or even if he cared, he just couldn't stand for this to happen around all of them.

He didn't know how long or far they had ridden when he pulled again on the reins for the horse to stop. He didn't know where they were, but it was as good a place as any, he gathered, away from his brothers so he didn't have to face them after this was over. There didn't seem to be anyone around for a long while, so they wouldn't be disturbed. He laid Ruth down on the ground and laid down beside her, weeping for the oncoming loss of his wife.

"Really Methos, I don't see what all this is about, we both knew this day would come, we've known it for years," Ruth said.

"I know," Methos replied, fighting a losing battle with himself as his voice broke and the tears ran down his face, "But I never thought it would actually happen."

"Don't look so upset," Ruth told him, "If I have to die, at least it's like this, imagine if we'd been attacked, and some soldier had run me through with his sword…do it wrong and I could've spent three days dying from it, and each day would've been more painful than the last."

"I just feel like there's so much left that I had to tell you, and now, soon you'll be gone and I'll never have a chance to tell you again."

"How do you know?" Ruth asked, "Some people believe the dead can still communicate with the living. Maybe they can."

"Oh God," Methos cried, "why did this have to happen? Why? Why now? Why you?"

"Methos, _do_ you believe in God?" Ruth asked.

"What? I don't know."

"Well, I do, and I think if I have to die now, it must be for a reason."

"What reason?" Methos wanted to know.

"I'm not sure, but I don't think I'd be dying now if I were meant to live for much longer." She took his hands in hers and forced him to meet her eyes. "Now don't be so upset, Methos, it's not as if you'll be alone once I'm gone."

"Oh yes I will, I'm not going back."

"You don't mean that, those are your brothers back there, you'll be lost without them."

"I already am because I'm losing you!" he sobbed.

"Methos, if we were meant to be together longer than we already have, I would've been an Immortal just like you. But I'm not, meaning you'll have a chance to find someone else after I'm dead. And maybe next time you'll be able to find a woman who _is_ like you and can't die."

Methos shook his head, "Never, never again…"

"Oh yes you will, you just don't know it now," she told him, "Methos, we've been together for a long time, and I've loved every minute of every day that I've spent with you. You've made the rest of my life a good one, and I'll always remember that. But you are a man who has to move on after this."

"No," Methos refused to accept what she was saying.

"Yes," she insisted, "Try all you like, Methos, but Immortals can't die from a broken heart, you can't die, you'll have to go on, and you will, and after a while, you'll find another woman, and you'll fall in love again."

"Never," he shook his head.

"That's what they _all_ say about the first time they love somebody, but they _do_ fall in love again, as will you…but while you wait for that to happen, you'll have to go back to your Brothers, they'll take care of you now. I swear to you, Methos, if you let yourself get killed just because of me, I won't have you in the afterlife, I'll have you sent back here until you learn."

That made him laugh, and he hated her for it. "Don't do that."

"Why not?" Ruth asked, "_Anything_ is better than having to listen to you cry. If Kronos' patience weren't tried before, they certainly will be now. Now listen to me, Methos, I'm dying, and nothing can change that, but I know I'm going to be allright, so I don't want you being upset like this over me. It's not doing you any good."

"Ruth, I just feel terrible that after everything we've been through, I have to lose you like this," he explained.

"You're not losing me, Methos…after tonight, my body may be in the earth, but I'll always be with you, understand?"

Even if it didn't make sense, he could understand what she was saying. "Yes."

"Good, I love you, Methos, I have for a long time, and I always will, dying can't change that…but you can't tear yourself up over this, there will be other women in other times, and they'll be able to make you happy just as well as I have. Now, tell me goodbye."

"Ruth…"

"One less regret, Methos, tell me goodbye."

Methos bent over and kissed Ruth once on her forehead, once on her cheek, once on her lips, for the last time, "After everything that we have gone through over the years, I'm never going to be able to forget you, and I wouldn't want to, I love you, Ruth, I always did, and now…" he was trying to get through this last thing he had to say before he started crying again, once she was gone, there was all the time in the world for that, "I'm going to miss you more than you'll ever know, and I'm sorry it's had to happen like this. Goodbye, Ruth…"

"It won't be as bad as you think, Methos, you'll see…now let me sleep, I'm tired."

It was killing Methos to see the life slowly draining out of her like this, but he did as she asked, he knew it was the last thing she would ever ask for, so he'd give it to her.

* * *

Two hours later, Ruth died quietly and painlessly, and Methos lay beside her body with his face buried in his folded arms beneath him.

He felt the presence of an Immortal approaching quickly, closely followed by one of an Immortal who hadn't died their first death yet, and he heard them as they arrived. He made no move to get up, or even away from where he was, if they were going to take him back, they were going to have to drag him.

"Methos!" he heard Kronos call, but he didn't act as if he'd heard him.

He heard them coming, he felt Kronos grab hold of him and pull him back towards him, but he refused to open his eyes, he refused to look at his Brother. He heard Jezebel walk over to Ruth to see…and she would quickly find there was nothing see, she was dead. And reminding himself of the inevitable only made him cry harder than he already had been.

He felt Kronos hold him close and stroke the back of his head. "Methos, I'm sorry…I'm sorry this had to happen."

Methos couldn't talk and even if he could, there wasn't anything he wanted to say, he stayed close to Kronos and cried for longer than he knew. After what seemed an eternity, he calmed down and seemed to be falling asleep, he felt Kronos lay him down while he got up and went over to Jezebel. Methos didn't even have to look, he knew what they were doing, digging a grave for Ruth, and soon she would be buried, and that would be the end of it, then he really would never see her again.

Oh he knew why they were doing this, they were trying to make it easier for him, not to have to be the one to bury her, but he had to do something before they put her in the ground, otherwise he'd never forgive himself. He got up and went over to where they were and they seemed surprised to see him. He looked down at Ruth, death at least had been kind to her, she hadn't suffered, and now she looked so peaceful, just as if she were asleep, with her eyes closed and her arms laid over on her stomach. Methos held her face in his hands for the last time and kissed her, and whether or not she could hear him from where she was now, he said quietly enough so if she was listening, she'd be the only one to hear, "I'll miss you."

Nobody said anything after that. He and Kronos put her in the ground and all three of them put the dirt back in place until the grave was completely filled. Kronos took a chance of putting his hand on Methos' shoulder and it was in that second that Methos lost it. He threw himself on top of the grave and cried and he felt four hands on his back, but they didn't move him. He stayed where he was for he didn't know how long, and then suddenly, everything went dark.

* * *

As Methos slowly came around, he came to a few realizations, one of them was it was morning, another was he was in bed, and yet another was that he wasn't alone in bed, there was somebody in front of him, and behind him. He slowly opened his eyes and saw Jezebel laying on her side with her back to him, still asleep, Methos turned over and saw Kronos in exactly the same position behind him. He tried to remember how they'd gotten back here, but he had no recollection of moving from Ruth's grave. The only thing he could think of was he must've fallen asleep, or as good as asleep from exhaustion, and he and Kronos returned on his horse and Jezebel followed on Methos' horse. And now here he was sleeping in between the two of them.

Kronos turned onto his other side and opened his eyes. "Hello, Methos."

Methos couldn't think of what to say, his mind was still at the grave last night, but he felt he shouldn't mention it because he'd probably put both of them through enough already. "Kronos…"

Kronos grabbed Methos' arm and pulled him to him and held him in his arms, Methos' memory probably didn't serve but he also did plenty of this the night before as well. "I know, Methos, I know what it's like, I've lost several wives in my life already…but it won't always be like this, you'll heal."

Methos shook his head, "I doubt I will."

Kronos laughed, "I thought the same thing, many times…in fact I've gone through this so many times I can probably tell exactly what's going through your head right now."

"Kronos," Jezebel stirred and rolled onto her other side to face them, "What's going on?"

"It's allright, Jezebel, go back to sleep," he said, "I'll take care of this."

"If you're sure," she replied.

Methos buried his face in Kronos' shoulder and closed his eyes. He felt Kronos' strong arms around his back holding him a little too tight, then once he was able to breathe again, he tried to go back to sleep. He felt Kronos kiss him above one eye, and he opened one eye to look at him, and he had something to say to him, but all he could actually bring himself to say was, "Kronos…"

"Yes, Methos?"

"…I…love you."

"I know, now go to sleep, I'll be here when you wake up," Kronos told him.

Methos hated himself for this, he'd gotten this far without starting again, but he couldn't stop himself. The full impact of what had happened last night hit him again and once more, he wept for the loss of his wife, it didn't matter what she had said, he had no intention of going through this again. He couldn't figure out how Kronos had managed to survive this with several wives of his own, and he didn't want to know either he decided.

* * *

In the days to follow, Methos fell into the deepest depression he'd experienced yet. He wouldn't get out of bed, he hardly drank anything, he ate even less, if anybody tried to talk to him he started crying again. He still found himself in between Kronos and Jezebel every night, they didn't push him to do anything he wasn't up to yet, they knew it would do no good to try. One night it had gone the same way it had every other night for over a week, Methos cried himself to sleep with his Brother holding him in his arms, and with Jezebel practically on top of him from behind trying to comfort him. However, tonight, Kronos had something else in mind.

Methos and Jezebel fell asleep sometime in the night, but he stayed awake, and he waited until he was certain Jezebel wouldn't wake up. Just to be sure however, he reached under one of the furs and pulled out a big scrap of cloth from one of her old dresses, and he wrapped it around Methos' mouth, when Methos woke up and tried to scream, Kronos stuffed it into his mouth and tied it in the back so he couldn't make any noise. Then he grabbed Methos by the arms and dragged him out of the bed, then he wrapped his arms around Methos' waist and pulled him along out of the tent and down near the river, all the while with Methos trying to scream and fighting to break loose.

Finally when he decided they were far enough away that they wouldn't be heard, he dropped Methos and took the cloth out of his mouth. None too soon either, he realized, Methos was almost hysterical with panic.

"Kronos!" he cried, "What's going on? What did you do that for?"

"I apologize but I needed to get you out here where we won't be disturbed, and I couldn't risk you screaming and waking Jezebel up," he said.

"What is it?" Methos asked.

"Methos, I know that you loved Ruth, and I understand that her death has left you hurting, but Methos, I need your help."

"With what?"

"Ruth was forty-four when she died, Jezebel is forty-seven, she can't live forever, and if she dies as Ruth did, then she'll never become Immortal…for the first time in as long as I've been alive, I have a chance to make sure that I don't outlive my wife."

"So you're going to kill her," Methos realized.

"Tomorrow morning, but I need you to help me in order to do it," Kronos said, "I can't do it by myself, and if it could've been helped, I wouldn't have asked you during a time like this when you're still vulnerable from losing Ruth, but I can't take a chance on waiting any longer with Jezebel. I've noticed in the last few days that she's not as fast or as strong as she has been."

"Just like Ruth," Methos realized, "I knew she was getting weaker but I didn't think it was serious, and then her heart almost stopped beating entirely that night and she…" it hit Methos that unless something was done soon, it would be exactly as it had been with Ruth, "Yes, Kronos, I'll help you, just tell me what I need to do."

Kronos pulled him close and kissed him, "Thank you, Brother, I love you."

* * *

The sky was getting light, Jezebel would be up soon, Methos and Kronos headed back to the tent, everything had been planned out, and they were ready. At least, Methos hoped they were, he had his own work to do, but he was also going to be there incase Kronos couldn't make the killing move. He couldn't imagine it would be easy, even knowing that she would return to life and never die afterwards, he just couldn't see it an easy task for Kronos to kill his own wife, even if it was what had to be done.

Apparently they'd gotten back just in time, Jezebel rolled over in the bed and realized it was empty on the other side. Kronos sunk to the floor and crawled on top of her. "Good morning, Jezebel."

Her eyes still half shut with sleep, she smiled at him, "Hello Kronos…where's Methos?"

"He's close by," Kronos said.

"Is he allright?"

"Yes."

"Good, he's been so depressed about Ruth, it's good to know that he's feeling better," she said.

"And how are you?" Kronos asked.

"Tired, but other than that I'm allright," she replied.

"I've noticed you've been tired for quite a while now, are you sure you're allright?" Kronos asked.

"Well, it has lasted longer than I thought it would," she confessed, "Although why it's happening I don't know…nothing's really changed over the years, I'm not doing anymore work now than I have this whole time, I don't get it."

"Well, I think I might know something that can help you," Kronos said.

"What is it?" Jezebel asked.

"Do you trust me, Jezebel?"

"For what?"

"Do you?"

"Of course I trust you, you're my husband."

"Then just relax, close your eyes and don't open them until I tell you to."

She laughed, "I don't get it, but allright."

Methos' heart about burst out of his chest, this was it. This was the moment where it would be decided if Kronos actually could kill her, or if he'd have to step in and take over for him. Kronos picked up his knife and slowly placed it above her heart. Methos watched and waited for him to actually make the killing move, the wait was so excruciating on him, he almost screamed, however when he closed his eyes he realized he wasn't the one screaming. He looked and saw that in the second it took him to close his eyes, Kronos had rammed the knife into her heart. Her eyes flew open, unable to scream anymore she gasped in shock and pain as she saw what had happened. Her hand found its way to her chest, to the blood spreading on her chest from the wound of the knife. Accusing eyes stared up at Kronos as the life slowly drained out of her.

Kronos offered no warning that this wasn't the end, he leaned in close, kissed her on the temple above her left eye, and in the last few seconds before she died, he told her, "I love you…forgive me."

She died before she could do anything in response. Methos was already crying before the last breath left her body, and he didn't know why, but it didn't seem to matter. Kronos ripped the knife out of her chest, disgusted by the sight of it, and he got up and told Methos, "She won't stay dead for long, we have to work fast."

Methos nodded and left to get what they needed.

* * *

Kronos' first worry upon Jezebel's return to life was that she would take off in a panic, not understanding what had happened or what she was, so he and Methos set to work in tying her up so she couldn't run. Methos wrapped her feet together with a chain while Kronos drove two stakes into the ground on either side of her, laid her arms straight out on the sides and tied them to the stakes with a braided cord he'd kept for some odd years from a previous raid long forgotten.

"The wound's healing nicely," Methos said, "She should return to life anytime now."

"I hope so," Kronos replied.

"You don't think it was done wrong do you?" Methos asked, "I've been killed more times than I care to remember, and even in the most unimaginable ways, I always came back."

"Yes but you were already Immortal by then," Kronos said, "What about the first time?"

"I don't know that I can remember it," Methos said, "But she's going to be allright, Kronos."

However, Kronos didn't seem so sure about that, they hadn't counted on Jezebel to stay dead as long as she had.

"You want me to stay here?" Methos asked.

"You better move back a bit," Kronos said, "If the first thing she sees when she comes back to life is the two of us on top of her, that could terrify her even further."

Methos nodded and headed towards the entrance of the tent, but he stayed close incase Kronos needed him, and he had a good idea that Kronos would need him.

A few minutes later, Jezebel jerked back to life gasping and sucking in the first breathe of air available to her. She looked around to realize where she was, and who was in front of her.

"Hello Kronos," she said bitterly.

"Welcome back, Jezebel," he said.

Jezebel took in her arms being stretched out to the sides and tied to the stakes, "Untie me," she said in a calm manner.

Kronos moved towards her but before he did anything he assured her, "Everything's going to be allright, Jezebel, there's no reason for you to be afraid."

"I know," she replied, then persisted, "Untie me."

Kronos took another move forward, "I suppose you're wondering what's happened."

"I have absolutely no doubt as to what's happened," Jezebel told him, "I'm like you, and Methos, and the others."

"Yes," Kronos confessed, "I didn't tell you before because I didn't think it would be good to know until there was no choice."

"So why now?" Jezebel asked, "Why did you do it?"

"Because," Kronos was having trouble explaining now that there was no way out of it, "I could tell that you were growing weaker, slower, as did Ruth in the last days before she died. It killed me seeing Methos suffer when she died, and knowing that there wasn't a damned thing I could do to help him. But the only thing that would've been worse than that, would have been if I had lost you the same way, I wouldn't be able to survive if you died too."

"And you've never been married to one of your kind before," Jezebel realized, "So this was your golden opportunity."

When she said it, it sounded of resentment towards him, it had been to keep her young and alive and well, but the way she seemed to loathe it was as good as stabbing the dagger into Kronos' own heart. He started to untie the cord on his wrists, but instead he collapsed on top of her and broke down sobbing. The sight laid out before him was a genuine shock to Methos, he hadn't expected his Brother to react like this. He wanted to go to him to try and help but he couldn't, he stayed where he was, helpless to do anything except watch.

Jezebel, though her hands were still tied, managed to move her arms enough to just about wrap them around Kronos. What had just happened didn't seem to come as a surprise to her, though it certainly wasn't anything she could've anticipated.

"I'm sorry, Jezebel, but I just couldn't let you die, I couldn't," Kronos cried.

Jezebel stroked the back of Kronos' head and looked past him over to Methos, "It's allright, Kronos, I understand. Of course, there will be a lot of trouble ahead of us because of this, but we'll survive it, we've managed to this far."

Kronos said nothing and instead buried his face in the crook of her neck as a fit of gut-wrenching sobs worked their way through him. The realization of everything that had just happened had hit him harder than he could've anticipated. He knew Jezebel wasn't angry with him for what he'd done, but knowing that she could have died, along with knowing neither one would forget how this had happened, was too much not to bother him. Jezebel kept her hold on him and Methos finally moved towards him, he knelt down beside Kronos and helped him to lay down beside her.

Now they had a new challenge ahead of them, preparing Jezebel to survive as an Immortal. It would not be easy, in fact there stood good chance that if they ever found themselves in battle, despite all the training they could give her, there might still be somebody better going against her. However for now they'd bought some time to guarantee Jezebel would stay just as well and young as she was, she wouldn't weaken or slow down again, her body would not show the signs of aging, nor would it one day rot and turn to bones and powder, as long as she kept her head. And that was a challenge that Methos was going to help Kronos get her through. Looking at him right now, nobody would guess that this was one of the best fighters in this part of the land, however Methos would make sure Kronos got back there someday, but for right now, he had to help him get through this in order to return. Maybe he was one of the more ruthless Immortals in existence, however, he was still human, hard as that was to believe sometimes.


	16. Chapter 16

Methos watched Kronos and Jezebel start and engage in yet another training session. He had lost count long ago of how many they had been in since Kronos started teaching Jezebel how to use a sword. She had already had some previous training but now he intended to teach her everything he knew so she stood better chance of surviving. Nobody had died yet although they both got in their fair share of cuts. While they did what they had been doing every day for about a week now, Methos headed over to where Silas was tending to the horses. He and Caspian had taken the news of Jezebel's newfound Immortality not well, but better than expected.

"What's going on?" Silas asked.

"Same as always," Methos answered, "I don't know that Kronos will have much to teach her, they seem to be evenly matched."

"It should be interesting," Silas said, "seeing how long the two of them can stay together before…"

"Before what?" Methos asked.

"I don't know, but something's bound to happen."

"Maybe…I'm just glad that Kronos is back to normal again, it took three days before he could finally bring himself to start training her. Making her Immortal might have been the best thing he could do, but it was the hardest thing I've seen him experience. He said that after a while, it wasn't so bad losing them…but this wasn't like any other time that he had a wife, this was the first time he had to _kill_ her to make sure he didn't outlive her. I can't think that would be easy…if I had the chance with Ruth I don't know that I could have taken it."

Behind them they heard first Kronos scream, sounding in pain, and then Jezebel from fear or shock. They both ran to see what had happened, and they got their answer when they saw Kronos lying on the ground with a large bloody wound in his chest, and Jezebel stood where she was screaming hysterically while still clutching her now bloody sword.

Before either could ask just _what_ had happened, she immediately cried, "I didn't mean it!"

She screamed and cried all at the same time at what she had done, but Kronos was still alive, barely. Methos knelt down beside him to see just how badly wounded he was. No doubt he would be dead soon from it, but when he tried to check, Kronos grabbed him and tried to say something, but he died before he could say anything.

Neither Silas nor Methos knew how to get near Jezebel without her trying for them as well. Then Methos realized that her grip on the sword was about to let go entirely, he used that to his advantage and knocked the sword out of her hand, and before she could move to pick it up he grabbed her by the shoulders and tried to get her to calm down, but she remained hysterical.

"I didn't mean it!" she cried, "I didn't…"

"I know, but it had to happen, it always happens, and Kronos especially has died enough times that one more won't make any difference to him," Methos said, "But I think we'd better get him to his tent before the vultures come and try for him."

Jezebel nodded. She and Methos picked up Kronos' body and carried him away.

"I know that this had to happen sooner or later, and it will if I ever _really_ fight another Immortal, but I didn't think it would happen to Kronos," Jezebel said.

"Well, it's something all Immortals have to learn and I imagine they all did the same way, by killing their teachers, however he'll heal soon enough," Methos told her.

"I know, I know he'll be allright, I've known about this stuff for years, I should be used to it by now, but I never thought I'd be the one to kill him," she said.

"I know, it takes a while to get used to it," Methos replied.

Methos, with much difficulty, removed Kronos' tunic and washed the bloodstains off his chest. Jezebel seemed to have calmed down for the moment, but as soon as the life returned to Kronos' body, she was near panic. Methos took it upon himself to try and explain what had happened, however Kronos needed no explanation, he asked for Jezebel to come close to him. At first she hesitated, but as he persisted she finally inched along slowly, and it was something that Methos recognized very well because he'd been in the same position a few times before himself. Jezebel was afraid of what Kronos would do to her if she got close enough, a man like him would expect to have revenge and nothing less when given the chance.

However, Methos knew that that was the furthest thing going through Kronos' mind right now, he especially wouldn't retaliate against his own wife. He decided to help her along a bit and gave her a bit of a shove so she fell forward and on top of Kronos.

"Well this is more like it," he said.

Jezebel tried to apologize for what had happened, but Kronos wasn't having it. He grabbed her wrists so she couldn't run away in a panic, and he slipped them around his neck. "Jezebel, come closer, I want to tell you something."

She reluctantly did as she was told, and when she was close enough for his comfort, he said to her, "Good move, remember that when you fight."

Something snapped inside of Jezebel and she dropped on top of Kronos and started crying again. Kronos wrapped his arms around her and set to work calming her down, and Methos took that as a good time to get out of there and leave the two of them alone.

* * *

Caspian had heard the screams and when he heard that Jezebel had killed Kronos, he for the first time since they had known him, seemed to be in shock by the news of it. The next instinct that hit him was to go return the favor, but Silas grabbed him before he could wander off. Caspian tried to put up a fight, but Silas dragged him off one way to beat some sense into him, and Methos went back to make sure Kronos hadn't gotten curious and gone looking for them.

Apparently he got back just in time, Kronos was just now coming out of his tent.

"How is she?" Methos asked.

"She just fell asleep," Kronos explained.

Methos drew back the entrance flap and looked in and saw Jezebel lost in the beginning of a deep sleep.

Kronos laughed, "She's pretty excitable isn't she?"

"It wasn't expected to happen," Methos explained.

"I know, she's a lot like you that way, she'll have to experience it a few more times before she gets used to it," Kronos said.

"She seemed most terrified that we thought she did it on purpose," Methos told him.

"She didn't, but she should have," Kronos replied, "She'll have to learn that."

"At least there's time for her to learn," Methos said.

"Yes…Methos."

"What?"

"…Well I want to thank you for putting up with everything that's gone on the last few days, I know it hasn't been easy."

"It hasn't been easy for any of us, Kronos," Methos said.

"I know, but I also know you, and _you_ are the one who suffers most just watching. And I imagine these last few days I've given you plenty to see."

Methos looked down at the ground to avoid looking at him. He didn't want to admit that he'd been worried the three days it took for Kronos to pull himself together after killing Jezebel.

"What's wrong?" Kronos asked.

"I'm just tired, I'm going to sleep."

It was a wonder he was able to make it to his bed before falling down, as soon as his body hit the furs and the blankets, he was asleep.

* * *

It was dark long before Methos woke up again, in fact it was late enough he figured his brothers were already asleep. He got up and headed out to get something to eat, along his way he passed by Kronos' tent and heard something coming from inside. He listened closer and realized it was Kronos and Jezebel. Peering in, he saw Kronos pinning Jezebel down to the bed and pinning her arms down above her head. Probably because he had already been close enough to sense, they didn't bother looking to notice he was watching them.

"Get off me," Jezebel said, trying unsuccessfully to throw him off her by shifting her body weight up.

"Not until you promise," Kronos replied, seemingly tightening his hold on her wrists.

"No," she refused.

Kronos could be and often was a man of brute force, but never, Methos knew, with his wife. Seeing how calmly Jezebel was taking her treatment, it was obviously a preferred method Kronos used to get his way with her. There was no real threat, he wouldn't hurt her, in fact if she _really_ wanted to, she could probably throw him off of her and get away.

"Fine, I can stay like this a long time," Kronos told her.

She laughed, "Kronos, what do you want from me? First you train me to fight, and then you say if we go into battle, to leave."

"I'm not asking you to run away the first time we go into fight somebody," Kronos said, "I said if we enter a fight and we're outnumbered, I don't want you trying to take on the whole pack by yourself. I can only teach you so much, and even that might not be enough, and if the five of us do find ourselves under attack one day, I don't want to lose you to them."

"Kronos…"

"Jezebel, please, promise me that you'll leave if we do," Kronos said, maintaining a strong hold on her wrists.

"Allright, I promise," Jezebel replied, "now get off me, you're getting heavy."

Kronos kissed her as he moved off of her, "I love you."

"I hate you," she responded.

Methos got out of there before they could hear him laughing; that was something they did quite often, one of them would act resentful towards the other while the other couldn't be anymore in love with them if they tried, but it was all a game for them. There were no genuine hard feelings between them, which came as a surprise since they expected Jezebel to downright hate Kronos for what he'd done to her. The entire day and the night after he'd made her Immortal, he never stopped looking at her, for fear that she might run away, or try to take his head. In fact even now he still watched her more than he probably had to, even though by now it was obvious she wasn't going anywhere.

It was becoming quite obvious to Methos that there was quite a difference between a mortal wife and an Immortal one. Oddly enough, though mortals were so much more vulnerable to many things and could have their lives shortened a hundred different ways, it seemed greater care had to be taken with a wife who was Immortal, during the change from mortal to Immortal, there was no telling what changes in a person. Methos himself couldn't even remember being mortal, nor could his brothers too well either, so he couldn't say for certain what had changed in him during the time. He had been through so much stuff over the centuries, most of it things he wished to forget, he decided he was better off not knowing what had, if anything, changed in him.

But for a new Immortal like Jezebel, great changes could be noticed. The one they most expected was for her to turn from a (mostly) gentle, loving woman into a bitter, hateful creature seeking only revenge. In truth, they were still waiting for her to become that; Methos didn't know that any of them were sure that it wouldn't happen given enough time. Maybe, he realized, that's why Kronos still paid such close attention to her now. He himself could recall a few nights he laid awake and watched Ruth, spent entire nights just looking at her, trying to memorize every single detail to how she looked. Then again, he also remembered nights he'd stay awake watching her to make sure she didn't sneak off and try to kill Kronos.

Ruth had been dead for little less than two weeks, but already it felt like a lifetime, and just how he was going to get through the rest of his life like this, he didn't know. He felt another Immortal nearby, he turned around and saw Jezebel behind him.

"How're you, Methos?" she asked.

"Fine."

"We were getting a bit worried, you slept through the rest of the day and most of the night, Silas and Caspian went to sleep a long time ago," Jezebel said.

"And what about you two?"

"I was asleep until Kronos woke me up, and forced me into a promise, did you enjoy watching?"

Methos didn't know how to answer her.

"What's the matter with him anyway? He keeps looking at me like I'm going to disappear or something."

"He thinks you might," Methos told her, "He's still worried that soon you'll realize that being Immortal isn't what you wanted, and you'll hate him for it."

"Well he's stupid if he believes that," Jezebel said, "Making me Immortal was the best thing he could've done. Now, he won't have to lose another wife and…I won't have to get sick and die…Ruth was fortunate enough to die painlessly, I don't know that I would've been that fortunate."

Methos didn't know what to say and before he could think of anything, Jezebel grabbed him by the back of his tunic and started pulling him back. He tried to get away and instead that gave her an advantage to get him where she wanted him. She locked her arms around his waist and started dragging him back to their tent.

"Taking lessons from Kronos I see," Methos said.

Kronos was in bed but he wasn't asleep, and when he saw his wife dragging his brother into the tent, he laughed, "What's this?"

"Look what I found," Jezebel said, "Can I keep it?"

Methos didn't appreciate that remark, and as soon as Jezebel turned him around so they could see him, it was obvious.

"I don't know," Kronos laughed, "It looks like he might bite."

Methos didn't take well to people enjoying themselves at his expense, that was an old habit that had yet to die out. He turned around and walked out of the tent, only to be jerked back in at the last moment when Jezebel grabbed him from behind and threw both of them to the ground, and Kronos took that as an opportunity to jump on Methos and pin him to the ground as Jezebel rolled out from underneath him.

"Well Methos, will you stay with us tonight?" Jezebel asked.

"What choice have I?" Methos asked. Methos tried to kick Kronos to move, "Get off me!"

Kronos did, and he took one side, and Jezebel the other, and they lifted him up and dropped him on the bed, then they each got on either side of him. There was no doubt in Methos' mind, these two were perfect for each other. Awakening her Immortality had been far from easy, but it was what had to be done, and Methos was certain at the cost of his brother's happiness, he could put up with their little games for a few centuries.

* * *

Days passed, growing into weeks into months into almost a year. Not much had changed over that time, except in recent days, Jezebel and Silas commented about hearing other people around, but never finding them. Kronos took it upon himself to search the surrounding land but never found anybody, or any sign that anybody except for themselves was living there.

It was long ago that Kronos had finished teaching Jezebel, he'd taught her everything to fighting he knew, and he hoped it would be enough to help her survive. It had been determined he was through teaching her when she ran him through the stomach, brought him to his knees, and greeted his neck with the tip of her blade. And not long after that, it was also determined she didn't come that close just with her husband, one day when Kronos, Silas and Methos were gone exploring the land around them for intruders, Caspian had tried to jump her but she'd been expecting him to try something, and when the men returned they found his bloody corpse awaiting them in the middle of the grounds. A perfect run through the chest and out the back, Kronos noted when he examined the body while awaiting his return.

This Methos took all into consideration while he laid in his bed one day. If anything could be said for them, it was their lives were never boring. Something was always happening to somebody, and usually when it was they had brought it on themselves. Just as he thought he was going to fall asleep, he felt somebody approach, it was Jezebel.

"Hello Jezebel," he said.

"You've certainly been in bed a long time, are you allright?" she asked.

"Fine."

Jezebel dropped down next to him on the bed. "You miss her don't you?"

"Who?" Methos asked.

"Who? Ruth, that's who…you've been thinking about her a lot lately, haven't you?" Jezebel said it more as if she knew it.

"How'd you know?"

"Because the last time you stayed in bed this late in the day was after we buried her…"

"So I do."

"Understandable, she was your first wife, her you'll always remember."

"How do you know?" Methos asked.

"Because I know what kind of a woman she was, what she was you don't forget, not if you live another thousand years," she said.

Methos rolled onto his side and closed his eyes, and just at that point he felt Jezebel kiss him, and that was about enough to send him out of his skin.

"What was that for?" he demanded to know as he shot up in the bed.

Jezebel just smiled, "I recall once, Ruth discussing with Kronos the dangers of a jealous wife…I don't know that we have to worry about a jealous husband however."

"What?"

"Oh don't look so surprised, Methos, this shouldn't be anything new for you, I've caught Kronos doing the exact same thing to you hundreds of times over the years," Jezebel said. "He's a good brother to you, he really does love you, he'd certainly have to the way he's put up with you through everything."

"Where is he now?" Methos asked.

"I don't know, he went off somewhere, didn't say when he'd come back," Jezebel said.

"He used to do that quite often, in fact that's how he met Ruth," Methos remembered.

"Maybe he's looking for you a new wife," Jezebel thought.

"I doubt it."

"Oh well, as long as he comes back, what does it matter where he goes?"

"I suppose it doesn't, as long as he comes back," Methos said. And he knew Kronos would come back, Kronos always came back. That was something that it did him well to remember through his life.

* * *

Things took an unforeseen turn for the worst a few days later. Methos had taken off without much of a word to anybody to bathe in the river. He enjoyed the company he kept but he further enjoyed a little privacy when he was bathing.

After he had dried and dressed in his clothes again, he heard something. It took him a while to figure out just where the sound was coming from, and when he could determine that he had to figure out what it was. Soon it became obvious to him that it was the sound of a young child crying, and that sent him running in the direction it was coming from. He soon found the child after getting off the grounds that they had set their camp on. The child was a young boy no more than a few years old, old enough to know what he was doing, but probably not to know where he was. By the looks of him, the boy didn't appear to be hurt or in any serious danger, but all the same Methos felt protective towards him. However when he approached the boy, the child took a step back and cried even harder.

Before Methos could figure out what was the matter, he felt two men attack him from behind, each on either side of him, trying to pin him to the ground. They grabbed him, he fought against them, they tried to force him down, he resisted. However Methos knew that he couldn't hold out forever against them, and before they actually succeeded in pushing him down, he called out at loud as he could, though he knew it probably did him no good, "Kronos! Help!"

He was forced to the ground, he kicked at them and tried to get up again, they strengthened their hold on him, he fought to the best in his current condition, but it all ended when somebody behind him hit him in the back of the head with something heavy.

* * *

Methos returned to life in more agony than he could ever recall. Usually it took him a few minutes to fully realize where he was, however this time, he didn't know where he was but it was someplace he'd never been before. It was dark and it was cramped and every time he tried to move, something fell on him, in his face, in his eyes. And soon, the horror of the fact hit him that he was in dirt, under dirt actually, he had been buried alive!

No, not exactly alive, those men whoever they were, whatever they were, after they had killed him had buried him. But who were they? And why had they killed him? He then realized he couldn't worry about that now, he had to get out of this grave before he died again from suffocation. But how could he get out? He wasn't even sure the direction he was laying in was the way out. If they'd thrown him in face down, then he'd only be digging himself further into the grave. And if they'd put him out on his side, he'd never know and he would remain buried trying to get out.

Methos panicked at the idea of staying buried and never being found, and when he panicked, he started crying. He didn't care if he couldn't get out, he found himself clawing at the dirt above him trying to find out just where he had been put. It caved in on him but still he saw no way out, but he didn't give up, he kept clawing at the dirt causing more to fall in. Finally when it seemed this would indeed be his final resting place, he felt it. Somebody, an Immortal, was standing on top of the grave. He still had no idea which way was up, and despite all the dirt caving in on him from digging, he called out as loud as he could, "Get me out of here!"

As if the answer to a prayer, he felt the dirt being removed from above him, when light shone through the hole he looked up and saw two people getting through the final layer of the fresh dirt to pull him out. It was Silas and Caspian, and never in his life was Methos as glad to see them as he was as soon as they had gotten him out of the grave. The horror of what had been done to him and the relief that he was out of that danger now, didn't mix well with him. He threw himself against the two of them and cried, unable to thank them for getting him out before he died again. He felt four strong arms wrap around him, and just when his head felt like it was ready to burst already from everything that had happened, he felt Kronos and Jezebel approach.

"What's going on here? What's happened?" he heard Kronos call, "…Oh my God, Methos!"

Methos felt himself torn away from Silas and Caspian and instead found himself in the arms of his brother, Kronos. He knew they wanted an explanation on what happened, but he couldn't tell them because he didn't know himself past the point of being hit in the head.

"My poor brother," Kronos crooned as he took in the mess before him that was Methos. "What did those bastards do to you?"

But Methos was too upset to answer, though he tried to tell him from the part that he remembered, he couldn't say anything that they would be able to understand because he was crying too much.

"I told you there was somebody else around here," Jezebel told Kronos, "We have to get out of here before they come back."

"No," Kronos said, "They'll suffer for what they've done to our brother."

"But Kronos, we don't even know how many of them there are," Jezebel replied.

"Then we'll find out how many, they're going to die for this," Kronos said.

They returned to their tents to gather their weapons together and prepare for battle. Rather, that's what the others did while Kronos forced Methos down on the bed, and a skin of water down his throat. After that, Methos had calmed down enough that he was able to talk.

"You were gone a long time, Brother," Kronos said.

Methos recalled it was early in the morning that he was at the river, and now it was going on late afternoon, assuming this was the same day.

"Oh Kronos, it was horrible," Methos groaned as he recalled the terror of being buried alive, "I was worried that nobody would find me, and I might stay down there for centuries, maybe even thousands of years. The idea of returning to life again and again, and always in that grave with no way out…" he was crying again, "I've never been so scared in my entire life."

Kronos kept a tight hold on his brother, "I know, I know…it's just fortunate that whoever they are, they didn't bury you too deep, made it easier to find you."

"I tried to get out, but I was worried that they'd put me in wrong and I'd only be digging deeper into the grave."

"I know, but it's over now, Methos, you're safe."

"Not for long, those people will probably come back," Methos told him.

"That's why we're going to find them first and kill them," Kronos said.

Jezebel entered the tent carrying both her sword and Methos'. He wasn't sure he would have the strength to fight but he took it anyway, and they joined Silas and Caspian and headed back to the grave. They hoped to be able to find something from there that would lead them to the men. By the time they reached the grave, it was already getting dark, and there was no sign of anyone else around.

They saw nothing, they heard nothing, but they knew that the men couldn't be far away. However it wasn't any good to go looking for them, because that was when the men came out of hiding and attacked them. They were severely outnumbered, if they managed to strike down one soldier, there were 6 more on top of them. Methos killed one, but before he could pull back from him, another struck him with a spear and he fell back against Kronos, and that was the last thing he remembered before death took him again.

* * *

He couldn't remember how many times he had die. He didn't even know how much time had passed between being killed in the battle, and this. Right now there wasn't much that Methos did know, except that he wanted to die, truly wanted to die, would rather somebody took his head, than continue to torture him like this.

He and Kronos had been bound by their hands and their feet and left on the ground in the middle of the land, watched by guards who would kill them as sure as anything if they tried to get loose. Silas and Caspian were not so fortunate at the time, they had been taken off somewhere to as the guards had put it 'keep the masters pleased'. Methos couldn't believe that they actually would, but judging by their excruciating screams of agony, he got a good idea that the 'masters' whoever they were, were getting just what they wanted from his brothers. Once it had been found out that they couldn't die, these people seemed to enjoy the possibilities of torturing them even more. It was just as before, Methos remembered this all too well.

"What about Jezebel?" Methos asked Kronos when it came to his mind that she was nowhere to be seen.

"She got away, she was fortunate," Kronos answered.

"Where do you think she'll go?"

"I made her promise if this ever happened, that she wouldn't try and fight them and get killed for it. I told her to save herself and leave, and not to come back, if she's smart, she won't."

So now they had both lost their wives, one way or another, Methos realized.

The guards seemed to be enjoying watching them, they weren't in the best of position right now. With his hands tied together and his feet, Methos couldn't move very much at all while he lay next to his brother, Kronos was about the same only he had managed with great difficulty to get his arms around Methos' back to maintain a hold on him, to make it harder if the guards tried to take him away.

"I don't know how, Methos, but we're going to get out of this, and when we do, we'll have our revenge against these bastards," Kronos said.

"If only there were a way to get out," Methos said.

"There is, I don't know yet what it is, but we'll figure a way," Kronos told him.

In a short while, the screams of their brothers could no longer be heard, meaning they had died from whatever torture they had been put through. And when they returned to life, it would only start again. Though it couldn't be seen what had happened, both Kronos and Methos knew it had to be anything beyond their experiences if it could draw such horrible screams from their brothers, who until now didn't react to much of anything that hit them.

"What do you think happened to them?" Methos asked.

"I don't know, but whatever happened, we'll make sure that those men get every part of it back to them," Kronos said.

Just before the sun came up, another guard came up to them, and he pulled Methos away from Kronos and cut the ropes tied around his wrists and his feet. One of the other guards said something to him in a language neither Kronos nor Methos understood, but that gave Methos the opportunity to untie Kronos' hands. However before he could get his feet, the guard turned back around and grabbed Methos and kept a painful grip on his left arm.

"What's going on?" he demanded to know.

"The masters got tired with your friends, now they want to try with you," the guard told him.

Methos tried to get loose from the man's hold and fought with everything in him against going. Kronos grabbed his right arm and tried to pull him away from the guard, but the guard took that opportunity to throw Methos down and instead grab Kronos. It had been a trick, they hadn't wanted Methos, they were going to torture Kronos now! With his feet still tied together it was hard for him to even stand up, he tried to fight the guard, but a second one came up and grabbed Methos by his hair and held a knife to his throat.

"Do as you're told or he dies," the guard instructed him.

Kronos allowed himself to be led off to the same fate that had awaited Caspian and Silas. The guard let Methos go and he tried to go after them, but was stopped by two more guards.

"Kronos don't do this!" Methos would rather die than let Kronos suffer the same fate that he himself had endured countless times years ago.

Kronos looked back to him with a sort of a sad smile, as if to assure him that it would be allright, him going instead of Methos. Methos fell to the ground crying, and once he could no longer feel his brother around, he realized he had other problems. Now with Kronos gone, the guards had decided to take him for themselves. He tried to get away, but he was outnumbered, and quickly forced down to the ground again, then he felt himself being dragged away by two or three of the guards.

"What's your name, boy?" one of them asked.

When Methos didn't answer, he was met with a hard slap on the back of his neck.

"What's your name, boy?" the guard repeated.

"Methos," he answered, waiting for the sharp pain in his neck to die out.

"Methos?" from the way he said it, it was obvious that the guard had never heard of such a name. "Well, Methos, you remember this, from now on," the man nearly broke his wrist turning him around so he could face them, "You live to serve us. Never forget that."

And it was then that Methos realized he was no better off than Kronos was.

* * *

He felt his body being dumped on the ground, he opened his eyes and it was dark, night again. How many nights had passed? He tried to think…one was all he could remember. Since the early morning of that day until now, he spent every single hour being beaten, raped, and killed, only for it to start again once he came back to life.

The guards had torn off his clothes and had their fun with him, and even now he could still feel all the welts on his back from their whips and their knives, he could also feel pain in his chest and his groin and his lower back, and he knew without looking what they were: bruises, bite marks, lashings from the whips, parts of his body broken and yet to heal from being hit with their spears.

There wasn't a single part of him that didn't hurt, and he felt he would die from the pain alone. If that weren't enough, he wished more than anything he could die to be spared any further humiliation, such as that of which taunted him from the blood running down his thighs alone. He had sworn this wouldn't happen again, that he wouldn't allow himself to be hurt like this, but it had happened again, and there hadn't been a damned thing he could do about it. He closed his eyes again and painfully recalled another part of the humiliation that he had endured tonight. While the guards so enjoyed jerking him about by his hair, they marked him by cutting it short of reaching his scalp, far shorter than Kronos had ever cut it, and it was to humiliate him and it worked. While he was waiting to die, he felt one of the guards come back and circle around him, to make sure he didn't try anything, as if he could.

He heard somebody else approaching, and his opened his eyes and saw another guard approaching, and with him he was dragging Kronos' dead and battered body. The guard dropped his body right beside Methos and left, giving Methos the perfect opportunity to see what all had happened to his brother, least of all what had happened that could still be seen. It looked indeed as neither one was better off than the other, Kronos had the same bruises, cuts, bite marks, welts, lashings, and the same blood marking his thighs. Methos threw himself down by the body and cried harder than he could ever remember doing.

* * *

Kronos returned to life not quite sure if it felt better than when they had killed him. He looked around and saw it was dark, he also noticed he was back where he had been with Methos. And it was then that he realized Methos was there as well, getting up and that was still a bit of a struggle, he saw Methos over to the side, curled in a ball and crying. At the same time he noticed that Methos was naked and his hair had been hacked off almost entirely. He made his way over to his brother and grabbed him and held him against his chest. "Methos, oh my God, Methos what did those bastards do to you?"

Methos continued crying as he leaned in closer to his brother, and once he was close enough to whisper into his ear he said, "Talk to me."

Kronos didn't know what was going on with his brother, nor did he know how to react, so Methos tried again. "Let the guards think you're trying to calm me, I have an idea."

Kronos still wasn't sure what his brother was up to, but he went along with it. For the guards to see, Kronos went through a whole act of holding Methos close to him and assuring him that the worst was over. Methos went through the bodily act of his shoulders rising and falling rapidly and his breathing strained to appear to still be crying, however what he was really doing was explaining to Kronos so only he could hear, a plan he had for them to get out of there. He'd had enough time to think about it, it would have to work. After a short while, Methos appeared to exhaust himself and he fell asleep, Kronos held him in his arms as he laid down and also went to sleep.

* * *

Sometime in the night, Methos moved away from Kronos and rolled onto his side a few feet away from him. Kronos was in too deep a sleep to even notice. It was around this time that one of the guards decided to make sure that they were in fact asleep. First he circled Kronos who hadn't moved at all, judging by that it was safe to assume that the masters were quite pleased with him. Then he circled around to Methos, who had indeed pleased he and the other guards quite well throughout the day and the night. And just when he was considering all the fun they could have with him the next day, he felt somebody grab his ankles and he fell.

Methos woke up and got to his feet immediately, Kronos had the guard in a good hold by the feet, Methos stepped on the guard's hand to get him to let go of the spear he used. It worked, Methos picked it up, Kronos took the knife the guard kept in his belt, and quickly and mercilessly slit his throat. The noise drew the attention of other guards nearby, they came running to kill them, however despite the torture they had endured all the day and night before, they moved too quickly to be struck. Methos impaled one guard through the chest, and that guard fell on top of another who Methos struck in the head. Kronos tackled another to the ground and thrust the knife into his heart. When they had died, they took the clothes of two of the guards and put them on. Then they gathered what weapons they could use and carry, and headed off to get their brothers.

Other guards weren't as close together as the four they had just slaughtered, so it was easier to kill them, one by one without drawing more attention to the others. After killing ten more guards, they found Silas and Caspian, still tied up, and alive, but they appeared to be sleeping. When Kronos and Methos got close enough for them to be felt, their brothers woke up and were relieved to see them.

Methos cut the ropes binding Silas' hands and feet together, as did Kronos with Caspian.

"Hello, Brothers," Silas said.

"We're getting out of here," Methos told him.

"Yes, but first I believe a reckoning is in order, where are they?" Kronos asked.

"Who?" Caspian asked.

"The ones called 'masters'," Methos said, "Where are they?"

Caspian led the way. Along the way Methos felt his body grow weak and he fell to the ground. Kronos helped him back to his feet and they continued forth.

"Kronos," Silas said.

"What?"

"Look."

They looked up ahead and saw their horses tied up outside of the tavern where the 'masters' were supposed to be.

"Those bastards, they stole our horses," Silas noted.

"Probably took everything else they could get their hands on as well," Kronos said.

"Let's get this over with," Methos said.

Armed with the swords and the daggers of the guards, they stormed into the tavern, and showed no mercy in their killing. Screams and blood filled the air and the night, throats were slit, hearts were impaled, women and children killed instantly while the soldiers' deaths lingered on at the hands of the four Immortals. Methos wanted dearly to return to them, every single injury he had taken because of them, but he knew there wasn't time. His brothers were not patient men and intended to see every last one of them dead before the sun rose again.

He found one man in particular who he recalled being the reason for his death when they were attacked. His first instinct was to run him through and be done with it, but no, he wanted this man to suffer, truly suffer for what he'd done. He stabbed the man in the stomach, a deadly wound but it would take a long time to become so. When the man fell to the ground, Methos took one of his wrists in his hand and broke the bones in it, then the other, and then he broke the man's bones in his feet one by one. Then he found on the floor near the man, one of the whips that had been used on them, Methos picked it up and he looked at the man for a minute before striking him right across the face with it. The noise was great but Methos didn't care, right now it was a sound he rather enjoyed. He knew that he'd done plenty of this himself that day, and now it was time to have the favor returned.

He hit the man again, and again, and again, on the back, on his chest, across his face a second time, he was sure that before long his whole body would be marked by the lashings. However something resembling restraint found its way to him and he stopped before he could see that happen. He saw the blood and listened to a few more screams before finally thrusting the dagger into his chest.

"It's over," Kronos proudly announced.

Methos looked around and realized his brother was right, everybody who had been in the tavern was now dead, except for them. They took what they needed, clothes to protect their skin from the burning sun the next day and weapons to keep their heads and take those of anyone who might cross paths with them. Then they went back and untied their horses, and they set off into the night trying to find their way back.

* * *

Once they had found their way back to their camp, they came to the horrific realization that it was no more. Those people had taken what they wanted and burnt whatever was left behind. Searching the blackened remains of what had been their home, they found nothing belonging to Jezebel except for a couple of dresses, neither one of which she had been wearing when she was last seen. Her sword was also gone, meaning she had gotten away before they could find her, meaning she was probably still alive, but nowhere where they could ever think to find her.

"We have no choice," Kronos said, "We have to move on."

It was three days before they found land possessing any food or water in the surroundings. When they did find it, the first thing Kronos did was drag Methos down to the river, in order for both of them to wash and rid themselves of the blood, and other remaining stains proving what had been done to them, which would also be fortunate for them because the bugs had nearly eaten them alive the last few days on account of they followed the smell of the sweat and the blood. Though his body had healed as it always did, the skin on Methos' body was for the most of it still overly sensitive to anything that touched it, and Kronos' washing alone was enough to about scrape it off. It was one of the more painful ordeals he had endured from just bathing.

"That's the worst of it," Kronos said, "From here on out the worst we'll have to put up with is smelling like the horses, I think it will take a while to find land to settle on, there's nothing here worth staying for."

Methos said nothing in response. That worried Kronos because in the last three days, none of them really had said much, but Methos talked least of all. And today alone he'd yet to say anything, in fact, he didn't bother looking at anybody unless they were speaking to him, and even then he only did so part of the time. Kronos hoped they found land to settle on soon so he could keep his eye on his brother and do staying in one place.

Two more days of riding and they found some grounds that had been lived on, but the inhabitants had died out. They buried the bodies of the men who had lived there previously so they didn't have to look at them anymore, and they claimed everything there as their own.

Methos still wasn't saying anything to anybody, nor was he eating, and very seldom did he even look at anybody when they were speaking to him. So while each brother claimed a tent to themselves, Kronos had Methos stay with him that first night they stayed there. Methos felt rigid in his Brother's arms, Kronos had noticed this same thing the last few nights, and he wasn't sure what could be done to bring him out of this.

"Methos…Methos are you awake?"

He received no response though he could very well guess that his Brother was awake, he just wasn't talking, as he had been doing for quite a while now. Still, he could be just as stubborn as his Brother, so Kronos wasn't trying anymore for a response, merely for Methos to hear.

"Methos…I love you, Brother, you know that don't you? Its allright Methos, it's over, we're free now. They can't hurt us anymore."

Methos, resting somewhat comfortably buried in his Brother's chest, closed his eyes and prayed for sleep. He knew Kronos was right, but for some reason it didn't make him feel any better.

* * *

Methos woke up sometime in the night and realized he had moved away from Kronos. There was about a five foot separation between them now, and Kronos was rolled over onto his stomach, and it looked that he was still asleep. However after a moment, he reached over to his side and when he realized there was nobody there, Methos figured he must have woken up because when he realized he was alone, he rolled onto his side, still with his back to Methos, and cried. Methos knew why, Kronos still hadn't gotten used to the fact that Jezebel was gone. Maybe she was still alive but even if she were, they would never find her and they all knew it.

It was what Kronos forced her to promise, that if they were outnumbered in an attack, she would leave, if she hadn't kept the promise, there was no doubt that she would have been raped alongside the rest of them. For her it would have been worse, they had all dealt with it before, she hadn't, and just the idea had been enough to terrify her. If she had been raped, Methos wasn't sure that she would ever have recovered from it, not even if she lived to be as old as they were. She would probably be so haunted by the memories that she would lay down her sword and offer her head to anybody just to be free of it. Either way, he had lost his wife when this was supposed to be the first time in his life that he didn't.

Methos wasn't sure just _what_ to do, so he did the first thing that made any sense to him. He slowly moved back over to Kronos and slipped his arm over Kronos' back and gripped his hand. Kronos must have been asleep again by that time because he didn't turn to see whose hand had grabbed his, but at least now he realized he wasn't alone, and he seemed to calm down again.

"My poor Brother."

And it was then that Methos realized that Kronos had to be in a dead sleep, it was the first time he had said anything in three days, and his brother, who had waited every one of those three days to hear a word out of him, didn't react.

* * *

Methos awoke to the feeling of fingernails raking through his scalp. He opened his eyes and saw that he had gotten back in Kronos' arms somehow, and Kronos was still asleep.

"Kronos."

His eyes opened instantly at the mention of his name. He looked down at his Brother. "Methos, are you allright?"

Methos still wasn't too sure of what all to say, so he said the first thing that he decided couldn't be put off. "I'm sorry about Jezebel."

"I know," Kronos replied.

"Kronos?"

"What?"

"…I love you too, Brother."

The look on Kronos' face could be described as shock and nothing else. "You heard me last night."

Methos only nodded, right now he didn't know if saying anything else would help him or hurt him.

"Good, I've been worried about you," Kronos said.

"I know."

"I promise you, Methos…nobody's ever going to be able to hurt you or any of us like that again."

"How can you be certain of that?" Methos asked.

"I'll tell you, I'll explain it to all of you, but not right now," Kronos said, "Soon, I promise."

"Allright."

"Methos."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, I really thought you'd be safe if I went in your place."

"I know, Kronos."

"I swear I'll never forgive myself for letting them hurt you."

"It couldn't be helped, Kronos, you had no choice," Methos said.

"I could've done something, I should have…I…"

"No…you remember, if you had tried to fight them, they would have killed me," Methos said, "Though maybe that wouldn't have been a bad thing."

Seeing the look on Kronos' face when he said that, Methos was sure he would've gotten hit for saying what he did.

"Don't you _ever_ say that again, Methos, you are too important to lose…I didn't lose you _to_ those bastards, and I won't lose you _because_ of them either. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Kronos."

"You are my Brother, I love you, Methos, and I'm not going to lose you, not to anybody…and I won't let anyone hurt you again as long as I'm alive."

Kronos pulled Methos even closer to him and kissed him, several times, and about every time he did, he told him he loved him. Methos realized the events of the past few days had left more of a mark on Kronos than he could ever have guessed. If only he knew exactly _how much_ they had marked him, and permanently.

* * *

Kronos had gathered the four of them together, to announce what he had planned.

"We are Immortals, men who cannot die, men who live forever, men who never lose their strength…even so we have spent our lives, only living upon the decisions of mortals. Their words determined if we lived to serve them, or die. We outlive the masters, yet we remained their slaves, it makes no difference where we are, or how much land we have traveled on, it's the same everywhere we go. There have been a precious few who didn't see us as the beasts we're made out to be, but those people are dead and buried, and the rest…they're all the same. Men, their women, even their children, they're all brought to see us the same way, as beasts, monsters…" he laughed sinisterly, "Demons and devils they call us. They see us live again, and try to send us back to Hell where we belong, they say.

"For how many years and centuries, were we alive only because they wished it? We 'lived' imprisoned as animals, while they were free to do to us whatever they pleased…and as we all know they did, they took such pleasure in bounding us so we couldn't fight or escape, beating us until we died or were near death, raping us until we bled and we begged for death. In past times, mortals have been able to rule over us…now, they will fear us, now they'll live by _our_ word. They want to think of us as demons and monsters, let them, for we will become exactly the beasts that they say we are. We will become what they fear most, we will show no mercy, and return to them what has been done to us for longer than we can remember. Every single one of them will live in mortal terror of us, though rest assure, most of them won't live long for it."

"You have a plan?" Caspian asked.

"Through the years I've heard many things, but a rare few continue throughout the years, the lifetimes…a few stories stay the same, and some of them I've noticed can drive fear into men more than anything. One in particular that I heard…what it was, we shall become."

"And that is?" Methos asked.

Kronos grinned in such a way, it could only mean trouble, "From this day forth, we will be known as the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. We shall become what the mortals fear most, finally taking the power that is so rightfully ours. In the end, men as _us_ will rule the world, the mortals will bow down to us, they will live by _our_ command, and if they refuse, they die! What we want we'll have, one way or the other…the mortals think they know what fear is, but I assure you, once they see us, they _will_ know fear, until they die. According to their tales, the Four Horsemen are symbols of doom…well, those symbols are now to come to life."

"What symbols exactly?" Methos asked.

"The four symbols are war, pestilence, famine, and death. Silas, you will become War, you are one of the better fighters amongst us, and you show no mercy in killing, nor expect any, just as it should be. Caspian, you will become Famine."

"Why Famine?"

"Why not? You eat everything that moves, don't you?" Kronos asked.

"And a few that don't."

Kronos moved on, "And you, Methos, your life has been ruled by mortals only to be taken at their decision time and again. Now it will be you taking _their_ lives, you will become Death, and my perfect right arm."

"Then what are you?" Methos asked.

"I will become what every mortal fears most," Kronos answered.

"What's that?"

There was an evil gleam in his eyes, and that same sinister smile that hadn't left his face since he'd started this, "The end of time."


	17. Chapter 17

And so it was from there that the reign of the Horsemen had begun. Looking back now, Methos couldn't figure out how two thousand years together had passed as they had. They all seemed to mash together now, like one long nightmare, so much so that he couldn't recall where one year, or decade, or century ended, and another began. Maybe it was better that he didn't remember all that, a person, even Immortal, could only take so much memory before…and what did happen when someone remembered too much? Aside from getting killed because of _what_ they remembered, he didn't know. He was so far as anybody knew, the oldest living man, and because of so much that he had forgotten over the centuries, along with everything that went in place to his memory, he had absolutely no idea what happened when one person could recall too much of the past.

What he could remember was that there had been a far difference in the way the Horseman had started, and what they had become. Kronos' plans for them remained the same, but something changed over the years. He decided to try and remember it from the beginning, he was surprised to realize he could indeed go back that far and recall the events that had played a part in making them what they were.

Sure it had been easy to remember that when Kronos declared them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, the idea was that nobody, especially no mortal, was going to have power over them again. He remembered that in the final slaughter before becoming what they were, everybody had a part in trapping and torturing them. The women were just as evil as the men, and just as brutal, their children had been in so short a time taught that they were beasts to be gotten rid of as soon as it could be done. So the children had been the bait to lure them in, for the men and the women to take them prisoner and do with them what they would. All had played roles in the torture, and all had died for it.

However, that didn't mean in Kronos' eyes, all were worthy of dying, only those who thought the same of them. Methos could recall one time, shortly after becoming the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, in which nothing had quite gone as planned.

* * *

They had rode into a village that looked worth raiding, and apparently they hadn't arrived too soon for anything. The women of the village appeared to be terrified at the mere sight of them, but off somewhere, excruciating screams of terror or pain could be heard, and it wasn't because of them. Kronos, dismounted from his horse and with his sword in hand, took off in the direction from which the screams came to find out what was going on, and to make sure that somebody else hadn't come in to attack.

He found the answer in a tent, the apparent master of the land had torn the clothes of one of the women slaves who was screaming for two reasons, pain from being hit across the face, and terror as her body was opening to have a child. The master turned to Kronos and before he could ask who he was, Kronos ran his blade through the man's stomach and pulled it out, and walked over the soon to be corpse to tend to the woman. Methos had followed to see what was the matter, and he was in about as great a shock as the woman was, having somehow never before in his life been present at the birth of a child before.

Kronos however had been through a few births and remembered how they went. The woman was still screaming in terror, obviously this was her first time having a child. He forced her down on the pallet that was the master's bed, however as traumatized as she was by everything that was happening to her, she tried to get back up again and fought with Kronos. Methos got down next to her and held her down so she couldn't hit him, and at that time, Silas and Caspian finally caught up with them to see what was going on.

Kronos ordered them out of the tent as there were enough people there already, but before they left he also commanded them to take the body out and burn it.

"My baby!" the woman wailed.

"Calm down," Kronos told her, when he approached her again she tried to move away. He grabbed her hands so she would pay attention to him. "You," he told her, "are not in any danger, your child is not in any danger. We are not going to hurt you, understand?"

The woman nodded but cringed when Kronos touched her. Already he could tell they were going to be at this for a while.

* * *

A few hours later, the baby was finally ready to come out, but it was painfully obvious that this was her first child and the woman had no idea on what to do. Both men had to push and pull her up into a sitting position for her body to push the baby out. It was a boy, very small with very pale skin and a bit of black hair on the top of his head, and apparently very healthy lungs he was screaming so loud. Kronos took the knife out of his belt, and the woman screamed and tried to move to him but she hadn't the strength after what she'd been through. With the knife, Kronos severed the rough cord that attached the baby to his mother.

"My baby," the woman cried, trying to reach for him, "please, give him to me."

However, Kronos didn't. He looked around and saw that from where they were, it was a short walk to the river. Standing up with the baby crying in his arms, that's just where Kronos headed, out to the river.

"No…no," the woman wailed, "give him to me, please."

Methos kept his hold on her that kept her pinned down, he wasn't sure what was going on either, but he knew if Kronos wanted her to be let go, he would've told him. So he too watched in wonder, and horror at what it seemed Kronos was going to do.

Kronos walked out into the river, and it wasn't until the water met with his thighs that he stopped, and he squatted down and keeping a hold on the baby, lowered him into the water. He didn't appreciate the shock of the cold water and because of it cried even louder than he had been. The water was a brutal cold, but Kronos though the skin on his hands had been roughened through centuries of hard work with them, maintained a gentle touch as he washed the infant of the blood and birth fluids that covered his body.

When he finished, he took the wolf's fur he kept cloaked around his back and wrapped the baby in it. Needless to say it didn't quite look right because it was so big and he was so small, but it would do for now. With that, he turned around and headed back to the tent, where the mother waited anxiously to see what happened now. Kronos returned to the tent and approached the woman and laid her child down against her chest so she could hold him.

She cried in relief to have her child back safe, also because she was scared about being a mother and that had to be plain for anybody to see. Methos got up and stood beside Kronos as he also had no idea of what to do.

"What now, Kronos?" he asked.

"Now," he pointed to the mother and her infant, "We let them rest, they've had an exhausting day…and we're going to find out just what we've got ourselves into."

* * *

After burning the body of the man, Silas and Caspian had made good of scaring all the women half to death, so by the time Kronos and Methos joined them, they didn't know anymore than they did when they rode in. However, after a few more hours of trying again to get anything out of them, and when they finally did, they didn't learn much.

The man had no name known to the women other than 'master', they themselves had no names they could remember, only the names he had called them, among them: 'slave', 'whore', 'woman', and 'catamite'. They remember he had taken them from their families when they were younger and brought them there, to work, and to please him. Those who failed to do as he ordered suffered the consequences, most of those consequences they still wore the remaining proof of. Just listening to their stories brought back painful memories for Methos, as he guessed did the other Horsemen.

Kronos explained to them that their lives would no longer depend on keeping anybody pleased. They had been there under his dominance for too long to survive on their own, so they would stay there. The Horsemen would take over the grounds, the women would stay but under better arrangements. They were no longer slaves, everybody would have their own work to do, but the women would not be forced into theirs with threats of being hurt, or starved, or raped, or forced to sleep naked and bound and defenseless against anybody. There was to be nothing left as a reminder for them, any of them, to be haunted by their memories of the past.

Already everybody had their own work to do, Methos and Caspian were to head back and get all their belongings and bring them to this new ground, Silas was going to stay in the tent with the new mother and her baby so they weren't alone and there was somebody to help with the baby if the matter came up, and Kronos, though he had done a lot of unusual things in his time, had the oddest work to do now, coming up with secondary names for 15 grown women.

* * *

It was dark before the work of moving their possessions had been completed. By now, everybody was tired, and most were asleep. Kronos looked in on the mother, he tried to think…he had renamed her Rahab, her son was still without a name, but that wouldn't be for long. Rahab was asleep after being rested on the recently cleaned bed, but the child was awake and soon would wake her as well. Kronos picked him up and held the baby close to him. He would take the boy for the night so she could rest, that in mind he drew a blanket over her naked body, and left for his own tent with the infant in his arms.

Finding a place to actually sleep would be harder than imagined. Prior to their arrival, the master would with terrible force, bed two or three of the women every night, and keep them in his tent the whole night, while the rest slept nearby all huddled together. Even now that was a force of habit hard for them to break, three had gone to sleep in Silas' tent with him since he would do them no harm, another two in Methos' tent, three in his own tent, and the rest were laid out far apart from each other on the ground.

However, Kronos found out he was not the only one still awake. Methos came out of his tent and appeared to not be heading anywhere in particular, just walking around. Kronos came up to him, "Are you allright?"

"Yes," Methos replied, he then noticed that Kronos had the baby with him, "What's going on?"

"I decided after the day his mother spent having him, she could stand to rest for a while, so that he doesn't keep her up all night, I'm taking him with me, and I'll take him back in the morning when she wakes up," Kronos explained.

Methos looked down at the baby who clearly he himself was trying to sleep. "He's beautiful."

"That he is," Kronos said, "Do you want to hold him?"

"What?"

Kronos held the baby out to him, "Here, take him."

Methos took a step back, "I don't know about this, Kronos."

"What's the matter?"

Methos didn't answer but Kronos had an idea, Methos before Ruth had never been married, so it was safe to guess had very little, or rather no experience with infants, and was worried about hurting the boy. Kronos carefully slipped the baby into Methos' arms and helped him get them in the right places to keep a strong hold on the child. Methos looked down at him in amaze and wonder. "He really is beautiful."

Suddenly Methos got dizzy and had to sit down. "Kronos?"

"What?"

Methos had heard Kronos speak before that day, but he had to make sure that Kronos would keep his word. "We…aren't going to kill them, are we?"

Kronos could hear every bit of the fear dripping in the question his Brother asked. He assured him, "No, we're not."

Methos was relieved to hear that, "They're…they're like us."

Though he knew there was one extreme difference between them, Methos knew he was right. They hadn't asked for what had happened to them, they had been taken by force, and their lives depended on whether or not they had kept their master happy.

"I know," Kronos said.

"It's terrible, they're finally free and they'd die if they were by themselves," Methos thought.

"I know…but we'll take care of them now," Kronos told him.

Methos looked down again at the child who looked as tired as the rest of them felt, "What is he going to be called?"

"I don't know, we'll think of something soon," Kronos replied.

He noticed Methos' head dropping slightly as he started to fall asleep, so he took the baby from him and laid Methos out to rest. He then kissed Methos and laid down beside him with the child resting on his chest.

* * *

By morning, Kronos returned to Rahab just in time as she woke up and realized he had her child.

"My baby?" she reached out for him.

Kronos held him out for her to take into her own arms and rock him. "Thank you."

"He's allright," Kronos said, "I took him last night so you could rest and he wouldn't wake you. Have you decided on a name yet?"

She shook her head, "It's been so long…I don't know any name to give him."

"Might I try then?"

"What do you think?" she asked.

"I think," Kronos said, "Erastus."

"That is a good name?"

Kronos nodded, "I think it would do him perfectly."

"Then that will be his name," she said as she supported the baby's head as his mouth grabbed onto one of her nipples, "Erastus."

* * *

Slowly the years passed by from there. The Horsemen rode when they suspected new threats of people nearby, and rarely were they without reason to attack. They had themselves and the women and the boy to protect, and they would do so, no matter what it took to kill anyone who got in the way. A few were well matched fighters against them, but at the end of it all they were no true challenge for the Horsemen, and after they were dead, the Horsemen took what they wanted from them. Monsters though they were when they attacked, when they returned from the raids, they (for the most of it) never gave the women a single reason to be afraid of them, and the same could be said for Rahab's child.

When Kronos named Erastus, only he among all the people there knew what the name meant, which was "beloved", and it became evident every day that that's exactly what he was. Every day he got passed around among his mother and the 14 other women, and Kronos, Methos, and Silas all of which shared an equal affection for him; Caspian they didn't even trust with their dogs without eating them, never mind a baby boy.

Between the three men, Erastus went to Kronos the most, although after a while, Kronos would pass him over to Methos since he hadn't as much experience with children and so he wasn't left out of it. Silas, though not as familiar with raising kids but being the closest to them set in his mind, played with him more than the others did, and never more than a day went by before they saw him coming around with Erastus on his back or swinging on his arm. All the same, he was treated as well as if he were in fact Kronos' own son. At night when the others were asleep, Rahab got him mad on several occasions trying to act more like a wife to him.

If he weren't as hurt as badly as he was over losing Jezebel, he might not have minded it so much. However, he made it painfully clear that he wasn't interested in what she had in mind, and if she tried again, she would suffer the consequences for it. It wasn't a genuine threat as she never took him seriously, and she continued having her fun with him: grabbing at him when he tried to lie down, trying to pin him down and kiss him, when he was asleep, she'd wake him up by squeezing her hand on his thigh or pressing down on his stomach or his chest. He wouldn't admit it but he liked it, but sometimes she got too close and it reminded him of Jezebel and how she would be with him.

One night when she'd tried one time too many, he snapped and almost broke her arm, but when he remembered where he was and who he was with, he let her go and saying nothing, turned his back to her. However, Rahab wanted to know what was the matter with him, and she was willing to get her wrist broken to find out. So Kronos finally broke down and explained to her about Jezebel, and how he had lost her when they were attacked, and how even now, in the night he woke up still expecting to find her beside him.

When he had finished telling his story, Rahab looked down at him and said, "I see, do you think she's still alive?"

"I don't know, she could be."

"Then maybe you'll find her again," Rahab said.

"I don't think so."

Rahab kissed him before he could move away, and she laid down beside him and closed her eyes, before she went to sleep, she told him that she was sure if Jezebel was still alive, he would find her again someday. He didn't say anything but he hoped with everything in him that she was right.

* * *

Rahab died in her sleep two weeks later, to Kronos who had slept beside her the night before, it was a genuine shock, but to 8 year old Erastus who had come in to find her dead, it was the end of the world. He dropped beside her body sobbing, and he screamed and fought when they tried to take him away from her. Silas took him because he could maintain the strongest hold without hurting him, while Methos and Kronos prepared a grave for her.

"What're we going to do with him, Kronos?" Methos asked.

"He'll wear himself out sooner or later," Kronos said, "He'll be allright."

"How do you know?"

"Because he still has all of us to take care of him. That's how I know."

The rest of the women saw what had happened and most of them started crying as well, and Methos, though he kept his back to them while they dug the grave and couldn't see them as they grieved, the sound of their cries were enough that he worried he might join them.

When they finished the grave they laid her out and buried her, and when they had finished replacing the dirt, Kronos went to see how well Silas was doing with Erastus, and Methos fell on the ground beside the grave and cried. Just why he was crying, for a woman though he'd known through the years he couldn't say he knew even fairly well, he didn't know. Caspian came up beside him and said nothing, instead he slipped an arm around Methos' back and pulled him to him and waited patiently as he wore himself out with grief.

Once he had calmed down and could stand to talk again, he pushed himself away from his brother and said, "I just feel terrible for Kronos, and Erastus, what's going to happen to them now?"

"Only one way to find out," Caspian replied.

Methos nodded and took off in the direction Kronos had gone. He found him after a short while, with the child in his arms, and exhausted himself from mourning the loss of his mother.

"Kronos."

"Shh." Kronos laid the boy down just outside his tent and took Methos by the arm off to where they could speak without waking Erastus.

"Are you allright?" Methos asked.

"Yes, and you?"

"I'm not the one who slept with her every night for eight years," Methos replied.

"I'll be allright, it's Erastus we have to look after right now," Kronos said.

"How is he?"

"I don't think we've seen the worst of it yet."

"I agree…do you think we'll be able to take care of him now, though?" Methos asked.

"It won't be easy but I like to think the three of us are smart enough that we can manage raising a child," Kronos replied.

"I hope so."

"Well if we can't, we're in a lot of trouble."

They both laughed at that idea for a moment, but it passed quickly. Then they found themselves walking back in a circle and back to Erastus who awoke suddenly when Kronos touched him.

"Mother?"

He was still half asleep and no doubt still exhausted from what he'd been put through that day. Kronos picked him up and held him in his arms and spoke softly to him, trying to get him to calm down. It took about an hour, but Kronos was finally able to lay him down to sleep again, and both men prayed this time he would actually stay asleep.

* * *

Time passed slowly, as days passed, Erastus seemed to heal from the mourning of Rahab's death. Though every morning when Kronos and Methos awoke, they found him sitting by her grave, half the times they found him he was already asleep again. The only thing they could figure is that he must've slipped away during the night when they were asleep, and made his way back to the tomb, and stayed there all night. Kronos became more protective of him and often lost his temper at Methos when he took Erastus off somewhere. While Methos could understand his wanting to keep the boy safe, he took it as a good idea to stay away from Kronos after such instances until he calmed down again.

Kronos always came around apologizing in the same day, but insisted he wanted only to make sure nothing happened to Erastus since he was the first in a long time that he could consider as good as his own son.

"I can understand that, Kronos," Methos told him, "But you have to remember you're not doing it alone this time, we're here too, and believe it or not we _do_ know a few things about raising children."

"I know, I'm sorry, Methos."

"It doesn't really matter though, all of us are here with him, but you're the one he'll always see as closest to his father."

And Methos proved to be right. As Erastus got older, Kronos started training him for combat so if they ever went into battle and he was involved in it as well, he would win. They started training when he was 10 years old, and every day Kronos dragged him out to practice. As years passed, there became less of them, every year one or two of the women passed away and joined Rahab in burial, until finally it came down to the Four Horsemen, and Erastus. Kronos dragged him out to practice for battle everyday and he wouldn't stop until Erastus learned everything he could teach him, and 6 years later when Erastus unintentionally disemboweled him during practice, Kronos declared him as having learned everything for battle.

As he fell to the ground holding a hand to his bloody stomach, he heard the boy scream at the realization of what he'd done, and before he knew it, Erastus was right down beside him, crying, begging, "Father, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it! Please, don't die!"

Kronos grabbed the boy's arm so he'd look at him, and before he died he told him, "It's allright, Erastus, I'm going to be allright, you don't have anything to be sorry for, just relax."

With tears in his eyes and a trembling in his voice, Erastus held onto Kronos and wept, "I love you, Father."

"I know, I love you too, son, now just be quiet, and watch."

As luck would have it, the wound was not a deadly one so Kronos healed faster than expected, and Erastus couldn't believe what he had seen. So when Kronos was fully healed, he explained to him about Immortals and how they couldn't die. Erastus listened to everything he had to say, and when he had finished, the boy looked at him with wide eyes that rapidly filled with tears. Kronos knew it was a lot for him to try and understand all at once, and it would take him a while to fully understand it all.

Kronos took the boy to bed with him that night so he could keep him close by and safe. Right now Erastus was having a hard time understanding much of anything after learning that the man he knew as his father was over 900 years old. Kronos explained to him that since there was only one way he could die, if they were to go into battle and he fought alongside him, their enemies if they were mortal, would most likely not know this to be the only way to kill them, and try another way. He told him that, so Erastus wouldn't get himself killed trying to protect them.

The next morning when Kronos told Methos what had happened, Methos knew that Kronos would be more protective of the child than ever, as he was nearing the age that Mary was when she died. Methos swore that between the four of them, the boy would be protected, however Kronos wasn't without his doubts. Soon it would be all four of them riding out to raid again, and when they did, they would have to take Erastus with them because he didn't trust leaving him alone yet.

* * *

Methos had gone on ahead and returned with information on a village worth raiding. He commented that the village was full of soldiers who would gladly take them for the killing if they got the chance. They had entire collections of human bones, and skulls, kept for everybody to see, no doubt such a fate might await anybody approaching their village who they might see. However Methos explained that on ground level, the best way to approach was by north, however if they were to approach downhill from the south, they wouldn't be seen coming until it was too late.

"That's what I like about you, Brother," Kronos told him, "Always planning."

They rode out that morning with little on their minds except to take what they wanted and kill anybody who got in their way because their actions would be returned greatly on them if they were caught. In Methos' mind looking back now, most of it was a blur, all he could remember was that they had ridden out to kill, and they did. He was right, the villagers never saw them coming until it was too late, they killed everybody, some slow and painfully, others quick just to be rid of them. There were close to thirty people in the whole village, Erastus for his first raid surprised Kronos by killing seven of them by himself.

When their victims were dead and they had taken everything they had a use for, Methos expected them to leave, but Kronos wasn't finished yet. He set fire to the dead bodies and the tents and everything left to the village and he stood in the midst of it watching everything burn. Methos looked at his Brother and saw a glare in his eyes as he watched the fire engulf everything it touched. He almost seemed to be possessed by it, Methos thought. He didn't move save for his eyes opening wider to take in the sight, and the corners of his mouth drew back and moved up into that sinister grin Methos knew him too well by. When everything had burnt to the ground and was burnt black, only then did Kronos announce they could return back to their camp.

That was a pattern that quickly grew, with every raid Kronos became more violent and more destructive, he reveled in watching everything be destroyed until there was nothing left. Years passed, more people were brutally killed, more villages set afire, all for little more than the entertainment of watching everything come to a most destructive end, what really went by without Methos noticing before, was that he too grew to enjoy watching the tragedies unfold. Once he realized that he had inherited his brother's passion for death and destruction, he made further realization that he loved it, every bit as much as Kronos appeared to. As time passed, Kronos became a creature it was near impossible to guess what he would do next.

* * *

Erastus died when he was 23, apparently in his sleep since he was fine the day before. Kronos wouldn't let anyone else near the body, for a while he kept him in his tent and stayed by his side, stroking his hair and occasionally rubbing along his arms, as if he expected Erastus to wake up. After a couple of hours he set to work dressing his son for the burial in jewelry that he had claimed long ago in a raid. Formerly it had belonged to his mother, Rahab when Kronos first brought it back, but somehow he never thought to put it with her when they buried her. Kronos wouldn't let the others near Erastus when he buried him, he dug a grave next to Rahab's and carefully laid him out and looked at him for a minute before covering the dirt over his body. After that he tried to go off by himself, but Methos though he could guess it wasn't a good time to try and follow him, he didn't know how bad it would be.

"Kronos."

"Leave me alone," he replied as he walked off.

But Methos didn't, he kept after Kronos and called him again, Kronos warned him again to leave him be. Methos got close enough to Kronos to touch his shoulder and in that second, Kronos turned around and with full force knocked Methos in the jaw and sent him hurling backwards to the ground and hitting it hard. He heard somebody else approach but couldn't see who it was, even with his eyes open because the fall had left everything he saw spinning.

"Kronos!" a disgusted Caspian called after their brother who continued on his way. After he had gone, Caspian grunted and pulled Methos to his feet and took him back. Methos was only slightly aware of the blood running out of his mouth and the broken bones in his face, as well as the broken teeth that barely stayed in place. Only one thought was going through Methos' mind at the time.

"He…hates me."

"What?" he had said it so low, Caspian couldn't understand him.

"Kronos hates me." Methos repeated a bit louder.

"No he doesn't."

Methos started crying, "Yes he does, he hates me!"

Caspian took him into his tent and laid him down by the bed while he dipped a cloth in the water basin to wash the blood off his face and out of his mouth. Methos didn't try and fight him, in fact he didn't move much at all, Caspian had to hold him against himself to keep him sitting up, even so it was about impossible. Methos seemed unable to pay attention to much of anything, he continued his sobbing and the constant insistences that Kronos hated him, and Caspian knew Methos was now at the point that he feared Kronos striking again the next time he saw him. Caspian who through much of his life would and did sooner kill somebody than anything, had as most people did at least once in their lives, a momentary reaction that made him seem human. Careful not to apply much pressure to the healing jaw, he forced Methos to look at him as he said, "Kronos doesn't hate you, he's just upset, he'll get over it, he always does. However, until we're sure that passes, if you want you can stay here, if he comes, I won't let him near you."

Methos was too upset and too exhausted to thank him, he merely nodded and then felt himself falling against the bed.

* * *

He woke up and it was dark. Outside he could hear two people speaking, it took him a while to recognize the voices as Caspian and Kronos, they seemed to be arguing about something.

"Let me see him."

"No."

"Now see here."

"I'm warning you, Kronos," there was a sound of metal being unsheathed, Caspian's dagger no doubt, "If you go anywhere near him before he's ready to see you, I'll kill you."

Methos tried to pull himself up on the bed but didn't have the strength, so he tried calling Caspian and barely got his name out before falling down, and after a short while, he fell asleep again. From there, he didn't wake up again until morning, and at first he forgot where he was, furthermore he forgot who he was with and when he turned and saw Caspian next to him instead of Kronos, he was surprised to say the least.

Caspian's eyes slowly opened and he saw Methos and he said, "Are you allright?"

Methos nodded.

"Good."

Caspian pushed himself up in the bed and then pulled Methos up beside him, and just as another's presence registered in his head, Methos felt Caspian get a tight hold on him. In fact, Caspian held Methos so close and so tightly to him that Methos couldn't even turn around to see who was there, but he knew who was there. It was most unusual for Caspian to take on the responsibility of being protective towards one brother against another, and it was something Methos had no idea of what to expect next from either side.

"Get out," Caspian warned Kronos.

Methos grabbed Caspian's wrist and pressed hard against it to get his attention, it worked, and without a word exchanged between the two of them, there was an understanding. Caspian let go of Methos and got up and went to leave the two of them alone, but he warned Kronos that he would be close by. After he had gone, Kronos approached Methos who kept himself as still against the bed as possible, he didn't look at Kronos, and he didn't say anything, scared of making Kronos angry at him again.

"Are you going to say anything to me at all, or am I going to have to talk for both of us?" Kronos asked him.

"I'm sorry," Methos said in little more than a panicked whisper.

"For what? I'm the one who's sorry, I certainly should be after the way I treated you."

Methos didn't know what to say in response to that, so he said nothing.

"Methos…" Kronos held off for a moment what he had to say, not because he was uncertain he wanted to hear the answer, but because he wanted to watch Methos respond, "Are you afraid of me?"

Methos wasn't sure what the answer to that was, furthermore he didn't know if he should answer, however from his lack of response, Kronos got his answer, however instead of getting angry again as Methos had feared, he laughed, then he grabbed Methos by the wrists and pulled him to his feet, and Methos, though he didn't say anything, expected to be hit again.

"Methos, I'm very sorry to tell you but you have a very mean spirit for a brother," Kronos told him and laughed, then he seemed to become more serious as he looked Methos in the eyes and added, "But I don't mean to be, I'm sorry."

"I'm not angry," Methos said.

Kronos' protective streak returned and he pulled Methos close to him and held tightly to him. "No but I don't want you afraid of me either, brothers shouldn't be afraid of each other."

Methos nodded, "I'm sorry about Erastus."

Kronos shook his head, "It wasn't your fault."

There was an awkward moment of silence between them which ended when Kronos pulled Methos even closer to him and kissed him. Methos screamed and pulled away and shook his head and looked back at Kronos looking ready to strangle him.

"It's good to have you back, Brother," Kronos said.

* * *

The final turning point in Kronos came a few years later, when they raided a village they hadn't expected to find another Immortal. His name they never learned, what they did know of him was that he was very old and very powerful, Kronos fought with him and it was a close battle but he won, but the Quickening was a horrifying sight that was beyond anything any of them could imagine. The power of the other Immortal seemed to engulf Kronos entirely, the noise of his screams sounded as if he was being burnt alive. The sight before them seemed to last forever, and when the Quickening was fully absorbed into Kronos, he fell to the ground and sort of half rolled into a ball and started crying like a wounded beast. Methos was the first to get to him and even though he was looking at him, it seemed that Kronos didn't recognize Methos, or even know he was there.

Methos tried to get his attention but Kronos seemed lost in the Quickening somewhere, as if he couldn't acknowledge anyone or anything except for the pain he was in. It took all three of them and a good part of what was left of the day, to get Kronos back to camp and laid out in his tent so he could rest and recover from the Quickening. Methos stayed by his side incase he woke up and needed him. He didn't wake up, he didn't do anything except cry for hours and hours until Methos wondered if he would ever stop. Finally he did stop, and he drifted into a quiet sleep and Methos was thankful for at least that, but it didn't last long. Sometime in the night, a storm hit and the rain was pouring down, and Methos couldn't sleep because Kronos kept moving around in the bed and was making a bunch of short grunts and moans like he was in pain. Methos tried to grab him to hold him still and when he did, it almost felt like he'd burnt his hands.

He could only guess what had happened, but Methos had an idea that he knew what was happening. The Immortal that Kronos had killed must have been one older and more powerful than they could've imagined, maybe the oldest and strongest of them all. The Quickening had entered his body but it wasn't done working its way through Kronos yet, in so it was taking quite a horrible toll on his body and his mind. His skin absolutely felt as if he were burning, and he was covered in sweat from head to foot, and Methos guessed this was why he was sounding so miserable right now. It was then that Methos got an idea, these storms didn't come too often, but when they did it was wise to take advantage of them. He got Kronos out of bed, removed most of his clothes and got him outside, all without waking him up. The rain was cold and beat down on them hard, Methos held Kronos close to him and felt as his skin became cooler to the touch than it had been, and Kronos became quiet as the cold rain washed over him. Methos was thankful for that, and while he didn't know how long or how deep Kronos would suffer from the Quickening, he did know that he was going to take care of him as long and as well as he could.

* * *

For three days Kronos didn't awaken and for three days, Methos stayed by his side day and night incase anything should happen. A few times he cried out in his sleep, but Methos didn't know what was causing it so he couldn't help him. By the third day, Methos was dead tired since he slept very little waiting on Kronos, and finally Kronos shot up in bed screaming in terror and calling Methos. Methos put his arms around Kronos and held him close as he screamed and let out the terrors that had held him for the past few days.

"Oh God, Methos," he cried, "I'm so scared, I don't know what's happening, I…"

Methos tried to comfort Kronos and assure him everything was allright, but Kronos clung to him and cried, cried out of fear, out of pain, out of everything that had happened to him since he took the Quickening. Kronos tried to talk and try to explain what was happening to him, but it all came out as a bunch of short, strangled sobs, he stayed in Methos' arms crying the rest of the day until night, and didn't find strength in himself to move away from them until the next morning. During that day and night that Kronos seemed to be at his absolute worst, Methos never wavered from taking care of him, he never once acted or appeared disgusted or afraid at the way Kronos was behaving, not once during the whole ordeal did Methos do anything except stay with him and try to comfort him in the fact that he'd won the fight and now he was safe and they wouldn't let anything happen to him.

As the night drew close to an end, Kronos seemed to calm down, and he wanted to know what had happened.

"You mean you've stayed with me _all_ this time?" Kronos sounded genuinely surprised by Methos' patience and care for him.

"Of course I did, Kronos, I wouldn't leave you when you needed me."

Kronos' face scrunched up and he laughed in a horrible sounding way that sounded like he would cry again, "You'll always be here for me when I need you, won't you?"

"You know I will be."

"Just as I always will you…that's what makes us perfect together, we think alike, Methos, we understand each other better than anybody else in this whole world…you are just what I need."

"For a brother?"

"For a perfect right arm, we'll rule the world, and you'll be right beside me when we do, everything we want will be ours or else we'll take it. Don't you see, Methos? You are absolutely perfect for what I need, who I need, in my life, we are so much alike we couldn't survive apart, and there'll never be a need to. We will rule the world, and those pitiful mortals will live and die by our rule, our command, they will live to serve and to please us. It's perfect, can't you see that?"

Methos thought about it as he had a lot since Kronos first mentioned it several years ago, but now it seemed truer than ever thought possible before. It was the perfect plan, the four of them would reign over all others, they would kill anybody who sought to attack them, and they would be served by all those who remained.

"Yes Kronos, I do see it."

Kronos laughed and pulled Methos down onto the bed with him, "It's perfect, like us…oh Methos I love you more than you know."

Methos was taken by surprise by the sudden change in Kronos, and answered the first thing that came to mind, "Well it's nice to feel wanted."

* * *

The next morning the four Brothers set off to do just as they had planned, they raided a nearby village, killed those who got in their way and took what they wanted. Unknown to them, a few of the tribe women had been hiding out, and when the Horsemen thought everybody there was dead, they were proven wrong when one woman with a large dagger jumped Kronos from behind and tried to cut his throat. Silas almost broke her hand to get her to drop the dagger, but instead of killing her, Kronos announced that she and the rest of the women would be going back with them, which to the women would be a fate worse than death. When they had taken everything they wanted, whatever was left was set to fire and they didn't leave until everything had burnt to the ground. It was a glorious sight to watch, Methos found it oddly yet comfortingly pleasurable to watch everything burn.

When they returned to camp, Kronos wasted no time in making it obvious to the women that they had a choice of serve them, or die. Most of them would do anything to stay alive, but there was one who was stubborn enough that she said she would rather die than serve such beasts. Kronos assured her she would have it her way, after he had his. After three days of torturing her beyond anything she could imagine, he cut her throat. Caspian took the corpse, after which the only part they saw again was the skull. Silas didn't question what Kronos did, Methos, while he had no problem returning the deeds done to them, to the women who tried to attack them, there was something about Kronos killing one of them that made him uneasy, but he didn't know why. That only lasted a couple more days until another woman, driven mad by having to serve them, crept into his tent in the night and tried to kill him. She had meant to cut his throat, but he woke up before she could, and moved so that when he was hit, it was in the chest. In the last minutes before he died, he struggled with her until finally he broke her neck, then he understood how easy it had been for Kronos.

When he came back to life, her body was also gone, and the only piece Caspian left to remember her by was a skull, these skulls he kept in one growing collection where everybody could see. It was well known to everyone what Caspian did with the bodies, so any time any of the women refused to do as they were told, Kronos threatened giving them to Caspian, for the most of it, they were scared enough to continue serving them. Methos couldn't remember where or how he had come to enjoy being the master over the mortals who they spared, and he couldn't tell if he enjoyed more the killing, or taking the survivors captive. Looking back he decided he didn't know because he didn't want to know, because he was ashamed of the things he'd done, of the things they'd all done. He couldn't tell that, and he also couldn't tell how long it had gone on, a year, a decade, a century, a millennium, it all seemed to melt together, like one large blur, one long continuous nightmare of blood and bone and screams and wails and sex and pillaging and burning, all death, destruction, anarchy and madness that there was no way to determine its start or its end…until Cassandra.


	18. Chapter 18

Thinking back, Methos couldn't recall a time when Kronos was ever all good, as far back as he remembered, Kronos always had a temper and there was always a limit to just how much he would take before he snapped. But that didn't mean anything, other than despite the fact of his Immortality, Kronos was still human. As he thought back, Methos concluded that it had been that last Quickening that had really undone him. After the Quickening that had left him so weak he was unable to wake up for 3 days, that was when things took a most genuine and final turn for the worst. He became more violent than before, easily lost his temper and started beating anybody who got him mad.

This Methos knew because he had been on the receiving end of many of the beatings, after which he kept a distance from Kronos for the rest of the day and most of the next. Sometimes Kronos seemed himself again and came around apologizing, but for the most of it he stayed the brutal beast he was and nothing changed. This had been the time that Methos truly lost the Kronos he knew as his brother because after that Quickening, nothing was the same again. Kronos became a true monster, a bloodthirsty beast who didn't care who suffered what consequences so long as they were the conquered and he was the conqueror. At the time, nobody knew what was happening to Kronos, and Methos especially didn't know that he would never be the way he was before. Even now, Methos in all his years alive and all his time spent around other Immortals, couldn't tell what _had_ happened to Kronos.

When he'd first learned of Dark Quickenings, he momentarily possessed the thought that this could have been the undoing of his Brother, but after a short while he came to the realization that such could not have been. Yes it had been an old and powerful Immortal whose Quickening he had taken…and yet, when an Immortal did suffer a Dark Quickening, they lost themselves to the power and the beasts that had been their last victims…but Kronos never seemed to lose himself, he was the same man he had always been, he had just turned into an unidentifiable creature that looking back now, Methos wasn't sure how he ever continued to call him Brother, except for the fact that the times were different, the world was different, he was different, and he didn't know better. Though when he thought about it, it seemed that Kronos did lose himself, but he lost himself inside of himself to another, more destructive and bloodthirsty part of himself, as if there were two parts to him and the dominant side had won out the last four thousand years. As much as he despised Kronos for letting himself become the monster that he had been, he despised himself for growing to be like Kronos, just as ruthless, as bloodthirsty and power hungry. It was no exaggeration when he'd told MacLeod that judging one to die was as good as judging himself the same way.

As the times changed, Kronos changed, and Methos changed with him…he didn't know how, or where, or why, but he did. He couldn't explain, even now all these thousands of years later, he still couldn't explain how he had come to love so much the power and the death and the blood and the destruction. A thousand years or more he had fallen into the trap of loving everything he had become that was everything he before had hated, had resented, had swore he would never return to, only when he did, he was the master instead of the slave. For once it was others serving him in order to live, they pleased him, or they were punished, by his own hand.

Turnabout was only fair play for so long, then a line was crossed, beyond that line was the trap of power. Power was a dangerous thing, it was a hypnotic drug that kept the addict hungry for more, and Methos prayed that none of the good Immortals he had had the fortune of knowing in his time, ever found out just how inebriating it was and how easy it was to slip into a need for it, never satisfied and always looking for another victim to draw it from. It had scared the hell out of him more than he showed when MacLeod took Coltec's Dark Quickening as that was _the_ most dangerous way for an Immortal to come across the addiction to such power. Many a nights he laid awake in bed thanking any God that may exist and might listen to him, for sparing MacLeod a fate that many before him had fallen to.

Kronos was right, and Methos knew it, MacLeod did need him, about as much as Methos needed him, but he was the only one who would admit it. MacLeod would never see them fit as brothers, and Methos wasn't sure he believed it himself…but he knew one thing for certain. One thing he knew was that he'd let his guard down too low for too long to let someone like that thickheaded Scottish child become so important in his life…but more importantly he knew that the damage was done, and if anything happened to MacLeod, he'd as good as die himself.

Earlier in the night, Kronos had compared his need to have MacLeod in his life, to many times he'd relentlessly gone back to the women he'd loved, who would sooner kill him than anything. Without saying the actual words, Kronos had confirmed what Methos tried to block from his oh so persistent mind many times, he loved MacLeod, and he needed him, such as he had needed Kronos 3 thousand years ago. If he weren't so depressed, he would laugh, Kronos had been on a point when he'd made the comparison of the two, but there was no real way that Methos could compare Duncan MacLeod to one of his many loves from the past. Women came and women went, but family was forever, and that was what kept him alive for so long, and that was what Methos felt he needed if he was going to survive much longer.

That took him back to the night after Kronos found Methos in Seacouver, when MacLeod had shown up and they had their confrontation. When Duncan oh so clearly announced to Methos "we're through", Methos felt those words had an equivalency to ripping his heart out of his chest and stomping it to pieces. Oh he could put on a good show to the Scottish bastard and pretend he couldn't care less, but it was at the same time that he felt like he died. Yet somehow that didn't stop him, even if MacLeod never spoke to him again, never wanted to see him again, cursed him every day that he lived, even if he would've held his sword to Methos' throat, it still wouldn't be enough for Methos to just let MacLeod die. Even if he never saw MacLeod again for the rest of his life, it wouldn't matter to him, just so long as he was alive. Methos couldn't explain why it was so important to him that the self-righteous, hypocritical pain in the ass highland infant lived, he just knew that he couldn't let him die, least not by any way that Methos could stop.

It had been very easy to convince the Highlander that he didn't care about much of anything, just so long as he survived, if MacLeod ever knew what truly went on in Methos' mind, he wouldn't be able to handle it. How Methos hadn't driven himself mad after all this time, he couldn't figure out, but the truth of the matter was that he'd spent a good amount of time over the past couple millennia hating himself for everything he was and did. Sometimes he hated what he'd done so much that death was almost too tempting an idea to pass up, but he always railed against it because fear was greater than hate, and his fear of the unknown of what might await him in death was enough to keep him wanting to live. Every day he paid for what he'd done by living with it, but he had been alive and lived with what he'd done longer than it actually took him to do it all, so where his punishment ended, he didn't know, and some days he wondered if it would _ever_ end.

He was crying again, as much of that as he'd been doing tonight, he thought by now he wouldn't have it in him anymore. That was another reason why he hated himself, he despised himself for being as weak as he was. His eyes were closed, but he felt Kronos' hands on his face, gently stroking along his temples, Methos knew what Kronos had planned next, but before he could kiss him, Methos slapped Kronos' hands away and remarked, "Don't do that!" After a minute he knew he'd overreacted and regretted it, tired and upset and wanting it all to end yet afraid of it actually ending, he groaned, "I'm sorry, Kronos."

"It's allright."

Methos opened his eyes to look at his Brother, "Sometimes I don't know why you put up with me for as long as you did."

"I had to," Kronos replied, "You were too important to lose, that's why I was so furious with you when you announced you were leaving us."

That made Methos think of a question he'd wondered for a long time, "What would have happened if I didn't poison you?"

"I wouldn't have let you leave…Methos, I know it didn't seem like it, but I did love you, I still do, I always have…even when I wanted you dead more than anything, I loved you too much that I knew I could never kill you."

"Could've fooled me," Methos replied, remembering after stopping the fight between Kronos and MacLeod.

"I know, but with every opportunity I had to take your head, I never did, and I never could, though I liked to think I could. You complete me, Methos."

"Oh Kronos," Methos scoffed and looked away.

"Methos," Kronos had his attention, "If you didn't, why would I have come back for you?"

Methos couldn't answer that.

"You thought I could replace you, don't think I didn't try, but it was all to no avail…I needed you, Methos, as many years as we were together, you were the only thing in my life that made me whole."

"Oh don't give me that," Methos replied, "Now you're just patronizing me, I told you, I'm not in the mood."

"You did complete me, Methos, right up to the very end."

Methos closed his eyes and tried to turn away, the tears were coming again, he didn't even want to think about Bordeaux again as long as he lived. He felt Kronos' hand on his face, brushing away the tears. "Oh stop, Methos, you knew that it had to be done."

"I did, for a long time I knew, but I tried not to think about it. You were my Brother, how could I ever kill you?"

"Evidently by stringing along Duncan MacLeod as a marionette doll," Kronos replied.

"So what's to stop the same thing from happening to me? I'm no better than you were."

"Methos, it isn't about who's better, you changed, you walked away from everything you were, I didn't, that's the difference in us."

Methos found he couldn't stop crying, but what else was new? "It's been good to see you like this again, Kronos…I'm just sorry it took so long to happen, and I'm sorry that it had to happen the way it did."

"It had to happen, Methos, you know that as well as I do…there was no other way."

"I wish there had been."

"I know, so do I. But I suppose it could have been worse."

Methos knew that tone of Kronos' voice, he was about to say something to make Methos laugh, to try and get him to stop crying. "Don't start, Kronos, please."

Kronos didn't say anything, but Methos heard something from his Brother, then Kronos added, "I guess you just want to lay here a while and rest…you certainly deserve it after everything you've been put through these past few months. Neither one of us has made it easy for you."

Methos tried to go to sleep, but hearing that only made him think, "If MacLeod knew what happened after I left him…"

"Yes," Kronos seemed to be agreeing with Methos' unfinished thought, "Now there's an idea…his guilt leads him along most of the time for just about everything…maybe…"

Methos' eyes opened and went straight to him, "I'm not going to tell him, Kronos."

"Oh I wasn't going to suggest you did…but you know, with me in his head now, I could probably put anything I wanted to into his mind."

"You just love seeing him suffer, don't you?" Methos asked.

"Old habits die hard…besides, as far as I'm concerned, he still owes us."

"What for?"

Kronos laughed, "You're not going to believe this."

"Try me."

Kronos looked at him sheepishly for a minute before looking down, "When I found out that you were friends with him…I was jealous."

"You?"

"Yes, jealous and hurt, hard to believe though it is…don't misunderstand, I knew that when you saw me you wouldn't be happy…but I was jealous that you were able to replace me with that damned infant for a friend. Someone who didn't know you, who couldn't possibly understand you…"

"And somebody who couldn't accept what I'd done."

"So apparently we both got hurt on that one," Kronos said.

"And what about now?" Methos asked, "Are you still jealous?"

"Well I used to be, but not anymore…now I want to see him suffer…I'd like to know where he gets off being the self righteous bastard he is. We lasted far longer than he did and we recall most everything we've done…but it would seem in only 400 years he's managed to block out a hell of a lot."

"What're you talking about, Kronos?" Methos asked.

"When one Immortal takes another's head, as he absorbs the other's power and memories and sometimes their personalities."

"I know that."

"Yes but here's something you probably don't know," Kronos replied, "It can work the other way around."

"What?"

"After he killed me, when my Quickening went into him, I got a pretty good look at a lot of things he's done in his time as well…" Kronos laughed, "And some of the things _he's_ done in his time…well…"

Kronos pulled on Methos' ear and relayed to him what he'd seen during the Quickening, and it had such an effect on Methos that if he were a woman, he was sure he'd blush.

"There's more I could tell you," Kronos said.

"No thanks," Methos laughed and laid back against the pillows, "I'm tired, Kronos."

"I know, I don't think you've gotten one decent night's sleep since this whole thing started."

Methos' mind went back to the countless nights where he'd overdosed on sleeping pills hoping it would put him in a coma or damn near kill him, whatever would get him in a deep enough sleep that he wouldn't dream.

He recalled once a long time ago, Kronos told him that he thought too much, now he believed him. So many things always went through his mind, he wished sometimes that he could wipe his mind clean of any and all memories and ideas that continued to torment and haunt him. This night alone he'd remembered more from the last 4 thousand years than he thought he would ever have to think about in the rest of his life. He wanted to forget it all but found now that he'd started, he couldn't stop, the memories all came flooding back to him.

"Kronos."

"Yes?"

"I think I'm going to try and sleep now…would you just stay with me?"

"Of course I will."

Methos closed his eyes and nodded, "Thank you."

He felt Kronos grab his hand and hold it in his own, and Methos laid back and tried to sleep. But still his thoughts haunted him. When did he become so damn emotional again? That had happened gradually, but where had it started? He knew the answer without even taking time to think about the question, it had started with Cassandra. A thousand years he rode with his brothers not caring about anyone who got in their way, they took what they wanted and left nothing, and he liked it. And then they had picked that village of Nomads to raid, and it was there that everything changed. In over a thousand years they had never encountered an Immortal who hadn't died their first death yet, that had surprised Methos when he realized what Cassandra was. Of course at the time, she had still been nothing, Kronos had killed her and Methos decided she would make a better slave than most since they could do with her whatever they wanted and she still wouldn't die.

* * *

Methos killed her the second time when she tried to escape, after which, when she returned to life she wasn't any better than the time before. She was defiant, stubborn, she was scared of dying and yet it seemed she would rather that, than make Methos happy. He had broken her of that in time…how he didn't remember…but after a while, it seemed that she was like him in the sense of there was no such thing as a fate worse than death. She feared his anger yet pursued to try for his approval, she got it many times, but Methos still didn't care about her, yet. Something happened, he didn't know what, it happened gradually, he found himself treating her slightly better than the other women, and he didn't know why.

It wasn't much, he couldn't remember how it had started, but he remembered first he kept her tied up at night so she couldn't try and escape. After he'd broken her of her defiance streak, he quit tying her up and she didn't try to escape, some nights when it seemed the coldest of the year, that year, Cassandra loved to make it sound as if she'd been there for years or centuries but she had only stayed at the Horsemen's camp a few months…some nights the cold would be enough to almost drive someone crazy, those nights he took her to bed with him, made no demands on her, just kept her with him to keep her warm. In the beginning there were many nights in which she cried herself to sleep and that took most of the night, come morning when she was still asleep, he left her as she was and went out to find his brothers before they came to him to let her rest a while longer. Somewhere along it all he realized that he cared about her, he spent a good time trying to figure out how that happened so he could get rid of it…but instead of becoming harsher to her, what happened next was unthinkable, he fell in love with her.

For a long time he told Kronos that the new slave was more stubborn than the rest and needed more time to tame, but he only told him that so Kronos wouldn't take her for himself next. However, the inevitable happened as Methos knew it would, he just didn't know it would happen as soon as it did.

"We share everything!" Kronos had said before, and that included the women. And if there was something that couldn't be divided up between the four of them, then none of them would have it. Kronos would take her head if he didn't get her, Methos knew that, and he didn't want her to die…he would rather, yes, he would be happy if she hated him for the rest of her life just so long as she had a rest of her life. That's why he didn't try to stop Kronos when he came for Cassandra, hearing her beg him to help killed him, but he couldn't interfere. Though the damage was done, apparently he hadn't needed to, Cassandra found her own means of escaping.

* * *

Kronos kept her in his tent for hours that day, well into the night, having his way with her to an exact idea. Later he had drawn a most likely conclusion to just how she must have been able to get away. Once in the day he'd gotten careless when he pushed her to the ground, she'd pushed back one of the furs and found the dagger that Kronos kept under it. She replaced the fur so Kronos wouldn't notice that she knew, and then when she kept him busy arousing him, she dug the dagger out and stabbed him in an area most vulnerable and then ran out of there. Methos had seen her leave, though he didn't mention this to Kronos, instead after she had taken off, Methos ran to find Kronos dead with the knife still in him.

She'd gotten it in him pretty deep and it took a great effort from Methos to get it out on the first try. After a while, Kronos returned to life, and to say the least he was not pleased. First he questioned Methos if he saw her get away, Methos insisted that he just heard him scream and came running to find him in the state Cassandra had left him in. Kronos didn't believe him and continuously taunted Methos with accusations that he let her go because he'd gone soft and _had_ grown attached to her, Methos denied everything, but Kronos didn't believe him, and he was determined to get the truth out of Methos.

He knocked Methos out and laid him spread out on the ground and tied up his hands an his feet all stretched as far and wide apart as he could get them without breaking any bones. When Methos woke up, Kronos began questioning him again, for every time Methos denied what Kronos knew as the truth, he got the hell beaten out of him. When Kronos tired of hurting him, he left, and then Methos faced the maddening silence of being by himself. This continued for days and Kronos ordered Silas and Caspian not to go anywhere near Methos except twice a day to take him water. It was only enough to keep him alive through the day, not enough for his comfort, but he wasn't eating and Kronos wouldn't allow him to die of thirst so easily either. Instead of killing Methos repeatedly, Kronos decided to let him suffer as long as possible while still alive…that continued for about three weeks, and still Methos denied everything.

At the end of it all, every part of Methos' body hurt, his body was weak, his eyes felt heavy, he knew that he'd lost plenty of weight by not eating and now probably looked as bad as he did when Kronos and Silas first found him. He certainly felt as weak as he had then.

Kronos entered the tent and Methos noticed in one hand he held a piece of cooked meat. He'd been without food for so long, just the sight of it hurt his stomach.

"Maybe you are telling the truth," Kronos said, "I don't think you are, but I could be wrong…besides, you wouldn't endure all this over one worthless woman who by this time is most likely dead. You're not that stupid."

Kronos pulled a small piece off of the meat and held it to Methos' lips. The smell of the cooked meat about drove Methos crazy, but he resisted, he wouldn't open his mouth though Kronos tempted him relentlessly.

"Won't eat, eh? Well then you won't mind if I help myself."

Kronos tore off a bigger piece and started chewing on it. "I must say, Methos, I'm impressed…I didn't think you had it in you to last this long."

Methos would've laughed if he had the strength. Every day and night he beat Methos ruthlessly, each time stopping only an inch away from death. And now, it had happened so many times that Methos simply stopped responding to the beatings. He didn't care how much it hurt him or how much he wanted to die just for the pain to stop, he wasn't going to give Kronos the satisfaction of finding out the very things he accused Methos of were the simple truth. Kronos saw Methos wasn't paying attention and took that as the opportunity to strike. He ran one jagged fingernail over Methos' bottom lip and scratched so hard he drew blood to the surface. Methos opened his mouth to scream but before he could, Kronos took the partially chewed piece of meat out of his mouth, slipped it into Methos', and clamped his mouth shut with his hand.

Methos wanted to curse him but didn't, he humored Kronos and ate, and after eating a few more pieces of meat, Kronos set to work at unchaining Methos. Kronos took him to bed with him that night, and Methos didn't know what to think because it was the first time in a good many years that he'd done it. He wanted to tell Kronos he loved him, he wanted to tell him he hated him, through it all however, one thought stayed in his mind through the night, _I'm going to kill you, Kronos_.

* * *

The damage done to Methos over the past few weeks was enough that he had to be taken care of until he had recovered and could do for himself, and Silas was the one who took care of him. It was during this time that Methos grew most fond of having Silas for a brother. Silas didn't demand answers or explanations from him, nor did he demand obedience and silence and submission. He didn't strike Methos when he either didn't answer him or his answer was one he didn't want to hear, and to make up for the three weeks he was starved, Silas made sure to feed Methos plenty and a few times came close to making him sick from stuffing him. But Methos didn't mind it too much, he knew Silas just wanted him to get better, and he appreciated his concern very much.

It took Methos about a month to recover, but he feigned weakness a few days more to stay with Silas. He felt guilty for doing it, but he knew as long as he stayed with Silas, Kronos couldn't hurt him. Of course he knew he couldn't hide from Kronos forever, he would have to face him eventually, he would, but he wasn't ready yet. Another day or two and he would confront him and see what Kronos had in mind for them next. He'd gone to sleep that night with very little going through his mind, but that was about to change.

Sometime in the night, Methos became aware of somebody in bed with him, carefully stroking through his hair, then he felt somebody kiss him. His eyes flew open and he saw Kronos above him, too shocked to say anything, he tried to get away, but Kronos had him pinned down.

"It's been a long time, Brother," Kronos told him, "I've missed you."

Methos frantically looked around trying to figure out where Silas had gone.

Kronos laughed, "Stop scaring yourself, Methos, I'm not here to hurt you."

"W-what do you want?"

"I want to know why you've been hiding from me…I know I left you in a pretty bad condition, but even for you it wouldn't take this long to recover. Why have you been avoiding me?"

God, when did Kronos get this good at knowing what Methos was thinking, he wondered. "I haven't been avoiding you, Kronos, I've just been tired."

Kronos looked at him with a very familiar sinister grin on his face, "You really should stop lying to me, Methos, it's not doing you any good…tell me, what are you thinking now?"

Methos was thinking how nice it would be if he could cut Kronos' head off to shut him up if nothing else, but he said, "I'd like to go back to sleep."

Kronos laughed, "Okay." He kissed Methos once again and left the tent for the night, and Methos curled onto his side and with much difficulty, went back to sleep.

* * *

Things never returned quite back to the way they were from there. Kronos looked at Methos differently, he couldn't figure it out, but there was just something in Kronos' eyes that he didn't even have to see his brother looking at him, he could feel those eyes on him, watching, taunting, almost scorning. Methos was Immortal, he could bounce back from broken bones and wounds beaten open and every other form of physical torture that Kronos could put him through. That was no problem, any Immortal could survive that, but Methos was still only human, he couldn't just snap back from the mental torture Kronos inflicted upon him. That's why it had hurt Methos so much when MacLeod announced they were through, if the bloody Scot would've taken his head it would've been less painful for him, a hell of a lot more merciful, and in addition to judgment and justice, that was what MacLeod was made of, mercy…but only for friends and innocents, and he was an enemy.

Some days without even having to say a word to him, Kronos got Methos so mad he swore he could just kill Kronos for it. He had done it to thousands countless times before with no regrets, why should this be any different? He considered it, so long and hard he considered killing Kronos when he least expected it, at night when they were asleep. When Methos came close enough, Kronos would wake up but he wouldn't know why Methos was there, until it was too late. A couple times in the past he came close, so close, so unbelievingly close, he'd gone to Kronos early in the night and stayed until he was asleep, and when he was certain Kronos wouldn't wake up, he took out the knife he'd hidden in his clothes and the blade would come less than an inch to Kronos' chest, but it was then that Methos knew he couldn't do it. He didn't know why at the time, later he figured that it just wouldn't be the right way to kill him.

After a while, the temptation to kill Kronos just sort of faded away and Methos thought that would be the end of that. But he was wrong.

* * *

One night many years later, Methos was unable to sleep so he was outside of his tent, laying on the ground poking through the dirt with his dagger. The moon was full and provided plenty of light for Methos to see what he was doing, at first he wasn't really doing anything, just scratching out lines going one way or another. Then once he actually looked down at what he was doing, he realized he had been writing Minoan. The last time he'd done that was…the night Ruth died, well over a thousand years ago, maybe even closer to 1,500 or 2,000 years ago, he couldn't remember…but somehow he'd remembered what she'd taught him.

He looked over the writing and it took him a while to remember how to read it, but once he was able to remember it, he read over what he'd been writing, and he was surprised:

Mary

Ruth

Jezebel

Kronos

Erastus

Methos tried to remember what else Ruth had taught him to write, most of it had escaped his mind through the centuries and he only managed to make out a few other words:

Brother

War

Fear

Death

And then Methos tried one other word, and he was surprised when he'd actually written it:

Cassandra

Methos wiped it all away except for the first names he'd written, and it was then that he felt someone approaching.

"What're you doing up?" Kronos asked.

"I might ask you the same thing," Methos replied.

"Couldn't sleep…" Kronos looked down at the ground Methos had carved into, "What're you doing?" Then he moved down beside Methos as if he were interested.

"Writing."

Kronos cocked his head and looked at the markings in the dirt, he seemed to understand what they said and he traced his fingertips underneath Jezebel's name. Methos took that as a sign to say something. "You think she's still alive?"

"I don't know what to think anymore," Kronos said, "A thousand years we've rode across this land, covering an entire continent, found nothing. Never seen her, never heard anybody say anything about anyone that could even be close to what she is."

"You taught her well, Kronos, if anybody could survive…"

Kronos sighed, "I wouldn't be too sure about that Methos, you have to remember, there's a large difference in what we've done, and what she could do."

Methos nodded sadly, "I remember…" his thoughts went back to the day that Kronos and Jezebel had married, and he remembered Ruth warning Kronos she would kill him if he ever hurt Jezebel, "I remember."

Methos dropped his dagger when he felt two strong arms grab him and pull, he rolled into Kronos' arms and the two held each other as their grieving wore themselves into sleep.

* * *

Years passed, years turned to centuries, the centuries turned to another passing millennium. Everything done, every day lived, every breath taken was all weighed in equilibrium, good and bad, love and hate, life and death, ignorance and learning. Something had been happening to Methos, more nights now he stayed awake remembering what he had done, what they all had done. He didn't even know how he'd come about starting to remember as these had turned to things he hadn't thought of for hundreds of years. But as they continued, Methos knew something was wrong, looking back now he wasn't as pleased with what he'd done as he had been at the time he'd done them. Some nights he would lay in bed and remember until the sun came up, a few times the memories were so violent and so horrible that he made himself sick. When the others heard him and came to see what was the matter, he attributed it to spoiled food. Once they had gone, he started thinking again…through all this time, something had happened to him and he saw he wasn't like his brothers anymore.

Somewhere along the way he'd lost the joy of killing, it had just become something he did because it was something to do and by Kronos' ruling, it had to be done. The last thousand people he'd killed he couldn't remember their faces or where they were or if they had screamed or if there had been much blood…there was nothing to savor or remember, they meant nothing to him, they weren't even a challenge to overcome anymore, or a victory to revel in. He didn't even know himself anymore, what he was…for the past two thousand years, he had been Death on horseback and he had been Kronos' brother, but little else. He had changed so much unknowingly that he didn't even know himself anymore, and he hated what he had been so proudly for so long. Kronos hadn't changed, or if he had, he was only worse now than he was before.

What Kronos decided went, where he went, the others followed…if Kronos died…they could each go their own way and live their lives apart. But Methos had to remember, the four of them had been together for two thousand years, and before that, for what he could remember he had always been somebody's slave, and if he wasn't that, he was considered a beast for killing somebody and returning from the dead himself. How could he ever survive without resorting back to what he had done for two thousand years? He knew that it was possible for some people to live in peace, not have to kill, or worry about being attacked, but how would he ever be like them?

They had something he didn't, they knew who they were, what they were…for so long he'd been one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, that he had no idea what or who he as himself was anymore, or would be. Now he would have to start over, he would have to get away from his brothers, and be by himself to figure out who, and what he was, but how? He decided first thing first, and the first thing that had to be taken care of was killing Kronos.

Every night for several weeks Methos tried to think of the best way to kill Kronos, at the same time he felt sick for it, and also relieved that it would be over soon. It killed him to think that he could so easily plot the death, the murder of his own brother, however Methos knew Kronos well enough to know that Kronos would never let him go, he'd sooner kill him. So if it was going to come to death anyway, and only one of the two was going to walk away alive, it might as well be him. The only problem with that was, with every idea he had of how to kill Kronos, he saw someway he might survive, and the more he thought about it, it seemed he was doing as well as killing himself. It wasn't just that Kronos was dominative, that wasn't the problem, the problem was that Kronos was capable of killing anybody who made him angry and he could do it with no second thoughts or regrets.

That very well could mean his own brothers as well. So far no death of his own doing had had an effect on him as they had on Methos recently. When Methos thought of all the people they'd killed, all the women and children they slaughtered, all the men they made fear them before striking them down, it was sickening. However, now that he'd thought of it, how many people had Kronos killed? Hadn't Methos killed near as many, and as ruthlessly? If Methos found himself within his rights to kill Kronos to make sure nobody else died because of him, what would stop somebody else from thinking the same of him? So by killing Kronos, he was only setting himself up for the kill as well. All this was starting to make Methos sick, and crazy, and he worried if he didn't get away from it soon, he would completely lose his mind.

So he got away, one night after the others had gone to sleep, he took off and walked for what seemed like forever, certainly far enough away that they wouldn't be able to find him right away. He'd managed to get somewhere where they hadn't killed off all the people yet, he saw a lot of people climbing aboard a large boat, he didn't know where they were going, but he decided to see if he could go with them. If it worked, it would get him away from his brothers for a while so maybe he could think of something to do regarding Kronos.

* * *

He woke up on a Greek island; he was overwhelmed by this land and these people that he had no knowledge of and didn't know what to expect, and he loved it. For the first time in a long time, he felt free, but he knew that was only temporary. Eventually, Kronos would find him, Kronos would know he'd left, Kronos always knew, and he would come here and find him. So Methos decided he would just have to be ready when that happened, ready to fight to the death. In the meantime he decided to learn what he could from the people, they didn't know who he was or anything about him. It was weird, but it felt to him like it had to be obvious to everybody who he was, what he was, Death, one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Yet they didn't know, they couldn't, he was a stranger to them, and they were all strangers to him, and he was a stranger, on an even stranger land that he would have to learn about.

Learn, he was beginning to like that word, that's what he wanted to do, he wanted to learn. He wanted to learn what he could about the people and the world around him, since nothing lasted forever, and it would be nice to understand things as they were happening now that he could know about. He also hoped that he could learn something about his Immortality, and maybe he'd finally learn the answer to the question that they all had asked themselves, and each other for a long time, where did they come from? Why were they Immortal when so many other people were not? Why them? And why now? And for what purpose? There were so many questions that it almost made him crazy not knowing. But maybe here, maybe now, he could finally start finding some answers.

One thing he quickly found out, he could communicate with the people, they spoke the language he could write. Unfortunately his knowledge of Minoan writing was severely limited, Ruth had been good in teaching him, but there was still a lot that he had to learn. Fortunately he could read it better than he could write it, and they did write, but not in the dirt with knives like he did, what they wrote went on scrolls. Unfortunately he hadn't much chance to read them because the people who had possession of them hid them from most other people. This idea that there was something that they knew that they didn't want anyone else to know, that made Methos all the more eager to find out what it was.

As it turned out, these secrets the men also found worth dying for. There was bad blood between some of the people, often they started fighting, several times a day some of them, it would end for a while, then start up again, but then it went further and resulted in one man dying, and the other man taking for himself the writing. Methos watched such a scene unfold before him one day, one man died, the other stole a scroll from the corpse and hid it in his clothes. This was where Methos decided to come in, and for a moment, he seemed to return to his old self as he killed the second man. After the moment passed though, Methos decided that he didn't have to become Death again in order to kill, and he knew very well that this man laying dead at his feet of his own doing, was certainly no innocent. He unrolled the scroll and went where nobody would find him.

Reading it was the easy part, understanding it was another. The first time he read it, he took it all in one word at a time. The only thing that resulted from that was he knew what the words were, but not what they meant. Going over it a second time he tried putting the words together but it still didn't make much sense. He didn't dare show this to anyone else incase they knew that it meant his possessing it equaled someone else's death, so he was left to figure it out for himself. Eventually he came to make out that it told of a certain plant that grew nearby that contained a poison in it that when mixed in drink or food, could not be seen, and it contained no taste, or smell, so the victim wouldn't know they were poisoned until it was too late. Methos came to the realization that the first man who possessed this scroll must have intended to use it on somebody else, maybe the man who killed him. That gave Methos an idea.

The bad blood continued and it was easy to determine who were the heartless bastards, and who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Methos found the plant that this poison grew on, he extracted the poisonous powder from the flowers, and in the privacy of a deserted part of the island far from anyone, took it himself to see if it worked. At first he didn't notice anything, then after a few minutes, he began to feel weak, tired, he took one step forward and fell to the ground, after a couple minutes he slipped into death. He came back to life and it was nearing nightfall, the poison had worked very well, and that gave him another idea. He was very careful to make sure that this poison wound up in the drinks of the bastards who had soon deaths coming to them anyway. Their deaths were shrugged off as a result of spoiled food and that was the end of that.

* * *

Methos also found he could be useful with his hands, he made a ring with a piece that opened so he could hide the poison in there and let it out in an instant when needed, and nobody would be the wiser. As the dead increased, he found more of them had knowledge to hide, but he always found it on them after they died. And it was then during such an occurrence that he felt it.

Kronos, there was no doubt in Methos' mind, but he was ready for this, he had anticipated this.

"Methos the scholar, oh that's a good one, Brother." Clearly he'd stopped to talk to the people about what his brother was up to on these lands.

"It's what I want to do," he defended his actions, "Study and learn."

"What for? What have you got to learn?" Kronos asked conceitedly.

"Everything! About the world, about myself, about who we are!"

"I can tell you who we are."

"Can you?"

"I am Kronos, I always have been, I always will be, and you are exactly like me. We are what we are, and that's more than enough."

"It's not enough for me," he replied, "people who don't learn from their mistakes repeat them."

"We don't make mistakes," Kronos insisted, "We make **history**! Give me a drink."

Gladly, Methos thought as he poured the drink, so far everything seemed to be working as he hoped it would, one quick move and everything was taken care of. Kronos turned his back to him to take what he wanted from the dead, and he continued to talk, "You're getting too damn serious for your own good, turning into a Greek."

"Thank you."

He gave the cup to Kronos, who added just before he drank, "Just don't forget what you really are."

"I never forget what I am, the more I learn the more aware I become." And with that he started to walk away.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"That's what I've been trying to say, I've finished riding with you."

"Sit down! Don't make me say that again."

Methos turned around, frustrated and ready to kill him just to have it done with, told him, "You don't need me!"

"There are four Horsemen," Kronos told him, "There always will be."

"Then you find someone to replace me."

"That's impossible, we four are Brothers, the blood we spilled binds us, and only blood can separate us." He laughed, "You still don't understand, do you, Methos? The only way for you leave, is you must leave your head."

"I was afraid you might see it that way."

The poison was taking effect, Kronos was getting weaker but he persisted, "Fight me, and don't think you'll live to learn anything from it."

No sooner had he said it, he fell to the ground, he pulled himself up long enough to voice his realization, "The wine," and he fell down again.

"Something I picked up in my studies," Methos boasted, "The potion would be enough to kill most people, it'll stop even you."

With that, he placed his sword at Kronos' throat, after a few seconds, Kronos was dead. This was it, this was where it all ended, this was what he had waiting so long for. Yet, when the time came to make the killing move, Methos couldn't strike, even now Kronos held an unexplainable power over him. He felt as if he'd drank the poison himself, he felt weak and he fell down beside his brother's corpse.

"Damn you, Kronos!" he cried, "I hate you, but I can't kill you."

It didn't matter, Methos had anticipated this as a last resort, there was only one thing left to do. He grabbed Kronos and took him over to the pit. In the time he'd been here, he hadn't figured out what the pit was used for in the past, but it didn't matter because he had a use for it now. He threw Kronos' body down it and it hit the ground hard, and Kronos came back to life just in time for Methos to shut the metal bars at the top of the pit.

"What the hell is this?" Kronos demanded to know, "What are you doing?!"

"I told you I'm finished riding with you," Methos told him, "And you're not going to be able to come after me."

It was then that Kronos saw what Methos had in his hands, a large bolt to lock the bars shut with. "Traitor! Fight me you coward!" he exploded.

"Why should I? I've already won."

"Your life is mine!" Kronos swore, "Your head is mine!"

Methos didn't pay any attention, he turned and walked away and forced himself to ignore Kronos' shouting threats against his life.

* * *

And for two thousand years, Methos was free. Two thousand glorious years he was without worry of Kronos coming after him. He often thought about it, about them, about Cassandra…one night when he was laying in bed, it occurred to him that the reason all of this had happened, the reason he tried to kill Kronos, the reason he left them, the reason he walked away from it all, was because of Cassandra. A thousand years and nobody outside of his brothers could make him feel anything, and what he felt was numb only he didn't know it until after the fact. She was the only person in those thousand years who could make him feel anything, she made him feel again, she made him love again. All without ever doing anything, she made him human again instead of Death, and that was something that he would always be grateful to her for, regardless of what she might've thought of him, considering she was still alive.

For two thousand years life had never been sweeter, he got to know life, he got to know freedom, he got to know love, and family…67 wives in 2000 years and hundreds of children, some of which he delivered himself. He got to do as he wanted and learned, he never found all the answers he was looking for, but he was glad that he wasn't stuck with just questions anymore. He got to enjoy the beauty in the world around him, everything that was good in the world was terribly overlooked and shortsighted, people passed it over for where they were going and what they wanted. As times changed, fewer and fewer people came to acknowledge and appreciate the beauty and wonders of the world around them, but Methos stayed the same in that regard.

For two thousand years, with all the peace and the tragedies as ensue in any life, all in all, life was perfect, but then Kronos came back.


	19. Chapter 19

Methos had always known Kronos would come back for him, but he tried not to think about it, and he hadn't known when it would happen. Now Kronos was back, and what more, Cassandra was back. He was glad she was still alive but none too pleased that he was now caught between she, his brother, and MacLeod, all of whom wanted him dead. His saving grace was that he knew a way to keep Kronos away from his neck, for the time being. It didn't seem to matter much to Methos anymore; with these two people back in his life he had just lost what was his life. Everything that had happened that day had turned into a mess. After his and Kronos' brief reunion, Methos went to see MacLeod, for what he knew would be the last time.

He had gone to tell MacLeod that something had come up and he had to leave Seacouver and probably would not return. He wouldn't have told him what, and he wouldn't have given him any additional details either, he didn't want the bloody Scot to take it upon himself to try and help him, he was beyond help. From there he would go to the bar and tell Joe a similar story and to inform him that his days as Adam Pierson in the Watchers was officially over, after this Adam would be dead. But Methos hadn't gotten the chance to tell anybody anything because Cassandra had shown up before he could start explaining. That had been the end of that, from there it had been a mad dash back to Kronos at the abandoned warehouse. Methos convinced Kronos to let him take care of a few personal matters before anything else happened, surprisingly enough, Kronos didn't argue with him. That way, Methos figured he could get a little more time to think of a plan, but that had been cut off when MacLeod had shown up.

Shown up, and it had been a showdown, and it was over, and now most everything that Methos had worked for in his life over the last 10 years was over. Now the only way he stayed alive was by keeping Kronos happy, and the news that Silas and Caspian were alive had done just that. He explained that Silas was out in the Ukraine and Caspian was locked up in a loony bin in Bordeaux for being caught doing what he did best. They agreed to take off that night to the airport and get on the first plane heading to Bordeaux, Methos didn't know why and he wasn't about to ask Kronos, so he just went along with it. However there were 2 problems, the closest they could get to Bordeaux would be to take a plane heading to the United Kingdom and then board another plane from there. That was the first problem, the second problem occurred once they landed.

During the first flight however, Methos didn't know how much time passed and he honestly didn't care. He looked straight ahead but stared at nothing the entire trip, to anybody who saw him he might come off as comatose or near catatonic, his body seemed to be inactive, but his mind was near overloading with thoughts. Why hadn't he had it in him to kill Kronos back in Greece? Why did he let himself get so attached to MacLeod? What did Kronos have planned now? What would happen once it was the four of them again? Had the others changed since the last time he saw them? That was over 1,000 years ago, anything was possible but he wasn't sure.

Meanwhile his mind kept going back to his meeting with MacLeod earlier tonight. _"We're through."_ That's right, MacLeod, twist the dagger while it's in the heart. After their little 'discussion', MacLeod left in a hurry, Methos however was none too eager to get back to Kronos. MacLeod's words had as good as killed him, he certainly hurt enough for it. He folded his arms over each other and laid his head atop them and he realized he was crying. After a couple minutes he managed to pull himself together, but he knew that he couldn't go back like he was. Kronos would know something was wrong, and he would find out what one way or another. Looking at himself in the mirror he saw that his eyes were a bright red from crying. No, he certainly could not go back to Kronos looking like this. It took about half an hour for him to look normal again, and when he did go back, he found Kronos had company, first Cassandra, who he sent for a swim, and then MacLeod. Those two he had to set some ground between them, or rather set the ground between them on fire. And that's how it had come to this.

Now Methos truly felt lost. What was he going to do now? He put his hands on the sides of his head and he felt Kronos' hand on his shoulder. "What is it?"

"I'm just tired," he replied, "I never did well with flying. I much prefer to stay on the ground."

"We should be landing soon."

"And from there we get on another plane and do the exact same thing all over again," Methos said.

And this was where their second problem came into play. The plane had to make an unexpected landing due to fog, so they landed about 100 miles off course and ended up in London. It would be at least morning before they could try for Bordeaux, so with a fog thick enough to cut, and black storm clouds moving in overhead, they decided to find a hotel to get a room for the night. Kronos wasn't pleased with the delay in their plan but it couldn't be helped, and Methos was in a state he didn't care much anyway, he was tired and he was upset and he was angry, a bad combination in him. They found a place and got a room, and as soon as they got to it, Methos fell on the bed and went to sleep. He heard Kronos laugh and say something to him, but he didn't hear what, then the lights went out and the door closed and Kronos was gone.

* * *

Methos slept for a while, then he woke up and he was still tired, but also restless. He paced the room a bit, then his eye caught to the mini-bar. Not really thinking but acting on an almost subconscious decision, he made short work of the beer. There were probably 8 or 10 bottles of alcohol in the bar, but by the time Kronos returned to the room, Methos was on the floor leaning back against the bed, and every single bottle was empty and laying on the floor near him. Methos was overall pretty unresponsive to anything and everything, so he made no protest when Kronos got down on the floor next to him, and took off his boots, and then undressed him. Kronos was saying something to Methos but he wasn't hearing it well enough to understand it. He then picked Methos up and carried him into the bathroom and laid him in the bathtub and turned on the taps. Methos quickly found this was the sort with a slanted in the back to lean against, so he did, and he said nothing, did nothing as Kronos started bathing him.

He closed his eyes and he thought of nothing, only waited, after a while he felt Kronos turn him over so he laid one arm under his forehead and the other above at the edge of the tub. When Kronos was finished, he pulled the drain plug and grabbed a towel off the rack and picked Methos up and wrapped him up in it and took him back to their room and put him down on the bed. Methos, somewhere in his mind that seemed disconnected from the rest of him currently, as if he were on the ceiling watching himself on the bed, thought that he was finally going to be able to get some rest, but he was wrong. Kronos came back and rolled Methos out of the towel and started dressing him, but Methos resisted like a tired child, so Kronos was only successful in getting him half dressed. Then he put Methos under the covers, went around to the other side of the bed, removed his jacket and boots and laid down beside him.

A couple hours later, Methos woke up wide awake and strangely sober, he looked to the other side of the bed and saw Kronos asleep with his back to Methos. Methos turned back and slammed his head against the pillow, how had it come to this? And where did it go from here? So far in less than 24 hours he had lost his friends, the only real family he'd known in more recent years, and the peaceful (or as peaceful for him as possible) life he'd worked so hard to keep. And now what? Now it would be back to the old ways probably, old ways, just new ideas. Oh God he couldn't bear another thousand years of that. Many a times the urge came to him to return to his old self, and he fought against it and won every time…but now…he was good at what he'd done, he had enjoyed it, and he would again, that's why it was too easy for this to happen all over again. This was why he had rarely fought in the last 200 years, every single time was like another needle of heroin passing through the addict's veins.

Who did he think he was kidding? He was Death, he would always be Death, he would always risk returning to being Death, it would never be over, he would never be able to end it. Not until he died, but he wanted to live. A fine choice, either he live and spend the rest of his days fighting becoming Death again, or he died and the person who took his head would get his 5,000 year old Quickening and they would become something far worse than he was. He gave up trying to think of a way out, he laid on his side and was unable to stop the gut wrenching sob that tore through his throat. Kronos woke up and grabbed Methos, turning him around to face him.

"What is it, Methos? What's the matter?"

Methos couldn't answer, Kronos tried to get it out of him, but his attempts only made Methos cry harder, he didn't know why, but he couldn't stop himself. Kronos tried to get Methos to calm down but it didn't work, he cried for what seemed an eternity. Finally he seemed to calm down, but a minute later he jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom, and Kronos followed after him. He found Methos leaning over the sink as he threw up everything he'd had to drink earlier. Kronos deduced that he had to be choking because when he tried to breathe it sounded like he was being torn in two. He walked up behind Methos and rubbed his back as Methos tried to breathe again without anything else coming up.

"Easy, take it easy, Methos, it's allright…you're allright now."

Methos had forced his eyes shut so he wouldn't have to see what happened, everything had washed down the drain but he kept the tap running a few minutes more just incase it happened again. Finally when nothing else happened, Kronos got a washcloth from the cabinet and soaked it under the faucet and wiped clean the inside of his mouth.

"Feeling better now?"

Methos nodded and forced himself to slowly stand up straight again and turned off the tap. Kronos stroked the back of his head and laughed, "So maybe we'll have to get you some Dramamine before the next flight."

Methos gave a weak half smile and followed him back to the bedroom.

"Think you can sleep now?" Kronos asked when they laid back down.

Methos nodded.

"Good," he reached over and mussed Methos' hair, "Goodnight, Brother."

"Goodnight, Brother," Methos replied.

* * *

Morning came and they got on the first plane heading near Bordeaux, Kronos noticed Methos seemed extremely uncomfortable during the flight. However, his idea as to why this was, was not the same reasons that were going through Methos' mind right now. Methos was so lost in his thoughts he almost jumped out of his skin when he felt Kronos put his hand on his arm.

"So tell me how you met MacLeod," Kronos wanted to know.

Methos was still shaken up from the surprise of being brought back to reality, "W-what?"

"MacLeod, how did you meet him?"

"There's not much to tell really, we just met one day."

"How?"

"He…he came to my place one day."

"Why?"

"It's a long story."

"That's fine with me, this plane isn't going to be landing anytime soon."

Methos sighed, "There was an Immortal named Kalas who wanted to kill MacLeod, he'd heard the rumors about me and he decided with a 5,000 year old Quickening in him, without a doubt he could kill MacLeod. MacLeod heard the rumor as well, and he found me."

"And what happened?"

"Kalas tried for my head, I offered it to MacLeod but he didn't take it."

"When was this?"

"A couple years ago."

"How long had you known about MacLeod?" Kronos wanted to know.

Methos didn't know what he was getting at, but he answered, "A few years."

"Tell me, in your reports about him, what did you find about 1867?"

Methos tried to think, "I don't know, why?"

"Because that's the year he met me."

Kronos then explained his little run-in with the Scot and the Texas Rangers, and how even after being shot to death, he set the town in a panic by letting everyone to believe there was a grave robber on the loose.

"They saw the broken casket and the pile of dirt by the grave and everybody went into hysterics, it was great."

"Have you been looking for him since for revenge?" Methos asked.

"No, it wasn't until I found out that he and Cassandra knew each other that I decided that."

"And how did you find out?"

"I led her to Seacouver and instead of finding me, she found MacLeod, they didn't know I was nearby."

"And how," Methos' heart was in his throat, "did you find me?"

Kronos laughed, "My dearest brother, surely you don't expect me to give away all my secrets."

Methos turned to look out the window and Kronos got a better look at him, "You don't look so well, are you allright?"

"I'm just tired."

Kronos swung his arm around Methos and locked it around his shoulder and pulled him closer to him, "It'll be a while before we land, why don't you go to sleep?"

Methos reluctantly nodded and laid his head against Kronos' shoulder and closed his eyes. Some time later he woke up as the plane made a landing, and from there it was a two hour trip to where Kronos was taking him, and he was surprised to find it was an abandoned submarine base. He didn't know what was going to happen but he had an idea it wasn't anything good. As he got a good look around the place it suddenly occurred to him such an area was often the perfect setting of his worst nightmares that haunted him for many years.

Time seemed at a standstill until Methos looked and saw that it was already night, where had the day gone? Not that it mattered, little mattered anymore and he was aware of that. Tomorrow they would head out to find Silas, and then Caspian, and then Kronos would have what he wanted, and then what?

For the most of it, he was tired and the rest of him felt numb, so he was only vaguely aware of Kronos pulling him along to somewhere in the base. His eyes finally focused as they came into what he figured was serving as the bedroom, he got pulled over and pushed onto a bed of which had a frame, headboard and footboard of wrought iron, and from the touch of it if he had to guess, the mattress was made of the same thing. Kronos got in beside him and the two laid down and closed their eyes. A short while later, Methos woke up and he realized he couldn't sleep, so he shook Kronos to wake him up as well.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I can't sleep."

"Why not?"

Methos hesitated with an answer and it was wearing Kronos' patience thin, "Whatever it is, will you just say it and be done with it?"

He tried, embarrassed and scared though he was to answer, "W—would you hold me, Kronos?"

Kronos looked at him for a minute through one open eye as if he were considering it, "Like old times, eh?" He laughed grabbed a hold of Methos and pulled him to him so now he was on top of Kronos. "Better now?"

Methos nodded and wrapped his arms around Kronos, "Thank you, Brother."

Kronos smoothed back his hair and kissed him on his temple, "Go to sleep, tomorrow we set out early to find Silas."

Methos nodded and laid his head down on the pillow next to Kronos so he wouldn't feel the tears slipping down Methos' face as he came to the realization that this would be the last time his brother ever held him. He knew it was inevitable, one way or another, Kronos had to die, and it wouldn't get any easier once they found the others, so for now Methos held close to Kronos and enjoyed the best he could this last night with him.

* * *

Kronos seemed to be enjoying the umpteenth time tonight he cradled Methos close to him as he cried, Methos tried to push away but Kronos wouldn't let him.

"What's the matter now?" Kronos asked curiously.

"I just remembered, that last night it was the two of us, I never told you."

"Never told me what?"

"That I loved you."

"I know, Methos."

"No," Methos pushed away from him, "You don't…for the longest time, Kronos, I wanted you dead because I knew it was the only way to stop you…and that sense of wanting to see you die was stronger than the love I had for you…"

Kronos laughed, "I know, I know, believe me my dearest brother, I know, but you have to admit, considering everything I don't think things ended _too_ badly."

Methos sniffed as he wiped his tears away with the back of his hand, "Maybe not for you, but for me…"

Kronos reached out and forced Methos to lay back down again, "I know, Methos, I didn't mind dying so much but what bothered me was that once it was all over, you had to go through it alone."

Methos wished he could forget, but the memories were still searing into his brain as he recalled that fateful night after the Double Quickening.

* * *

He heard but didn't see Cassandra leave, and he heard but didn't see MacLeod come down to him.

"Methos," he felt MacLeod grab his arm, "Come on, Methos, let's get out of here."

"Let go of me!" Methos sobbed as he jerked away from MacLeod, "Get out of here!"

"Methos!"

"MacLeod!" Methos shook his head and cried, "Get out of here! They're in me now, they're in me, I'll become like them…I'll kill you if you don't get out!"

He was pleading more than anything though he was sure it didn't come across as it, but MacLeod finally left, and he was alone to wallow in his grief. He fell to the floor by Silas's body, "I'm sorry, Brother, I'm so sorry."

With Silas' Quickening in him now, he was terrified at how close he could feel him, almost as if he were still alive and standing next to him. He covered his mouth as he started bawling uncontrollably and he hated himself for it, this was fate, this was how it had to be, this was how he had planned it…only he hadn't planned it, he had planned for Kronos to die only, not the others, not Silas. After a while he wore himself out from crying and fell asleep, and when he woke up he knew now came the truly inevitable, facing Kronos' corpse. He tried to prepare himself for what would be before him, he knew how it had to look, still the initial sight of his brother's body laying in one place, and his head in another, completely undid Methos.

He couldn't remember how but he knew he had gotten out of the base, and somehow he had gotten their bodies out as well. However he knew that it was impossible to single-handedly pull off what he had to do, as much as he hated doing it, he had to leave the bodies for the police to find. And there wasn't much time between their bodies being found, and Caspian's body being found, but not before eliminating all evidence that would prove he had contact with them recently.

After that, he simply walked until he couldn't walk any further, and he laid down and went to sleep where he stopped, in a cemetery. He wanted to die, he wished he had died, he wished MacLeod hadn't stopped Cassandra, it would've been much easier on him that way. Somehow he slept through the night, and when morning came, he woke up and it wasn't long before MacLeod showed up, though how he knew where to find him, Methos would've liked to know but he didn't feel like asking.

"MacLeod," he addressed him most firmly.

"Methos, are you allright?"

"I'll survive, I always do."

"What's going to happen now?"

Methos turned around away from him, "I'm going away, I have to get out of here, I have things to take care of. Don't worry, you probably won't see me again but if you have anything to say, do it now. I don't want any last things unsaid hanging on my conscience for the next 700 years."

"I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything."

"I have to, I just don't understand, you could've killed Kronos, why didn't you?"

"I wanted to, but we were brothers, in arms and blood and everything except birth, if I judged him to die I judged myself the same way, and I wanted to live, I still do."

"Kronos was right, you set the whole thing up, didn't you?"

"What do you mean?" He had to get out of here, he had to get away before he did something else he'd regret for the rest of his days.

"You knew he'd come after Cassandra, and you let him because you know I'd come after her. You couldn't kill him but you hoped I could."

"Maybe," he replied as he left the cemetery.

"Maybe, Methos, what about Cassandra?"

How to answer that? He knew how to answer, with the truth, just not the whole of it, "One of a thousand regrets, MacLeod, one of a thousand regrets." He turned to MacLeod then and in the sense of his late brother who would appreciate the gesture, "Adios, Highlander, now you see me, now you don't." He knew that would just rile MacLeod up, and for some reason the thought made him happy for a moment.

That had been their goodbye, and their departure, MacLeod went his way, Methos went his, but he didn't have much idea of where his way was, or where it would stop.

* * *

Now would come one of the best damned performances he ever did. He played the part of a grieving relative who hadn't kept well in contact with them and asked the authorities to ship the bodies back to Seacouver to be buried in a family plot as the last respect he could offer them after failing to be there for them prior to their murders. The police had very little to go on for any investigation and most likely the case would be thrown out before the end of the year, which was fine with him since it was all dead end anyway. As much as he was hurting, it would've been ideal to bury the three of them at the same time but Methos knew it couldn't possibly be done. Their bodies were embalmed by somebody that he didn't know, and it would be a while before he could get access to them, but in the meantime, he still had work to do.

This was a private funeral, he would take care of everything he could, that included the caskets, in previous lifetimes he had made these things for a living, but he never imagined he would have to make the ones he set his brothers to rest in. Caspian and Silas had to be first, they would receive a normal embalming, formaldehyde, methanol and ethanol, that would only hold of decomposition for a few days. He would see to it that Kronos was given treatment one step further, though to be honest he had never tried to before and wasn't sure how it would work, but he felt he owed it to him.

While the bodies were embalmed and fixed up for the burial, Methos spent the next several days and nights making the coffins to bury them in. Nothing too fancy but sturdy enough that it would hold them well without being the simplicity of a pine box, family deserved the best and he would give them what he could. Every hour of every day he worked at them, never stopping to eat, never leaving his work room, he kept himself hydrated enough to stay alive from a couple bottles of whiskey he kept in the room. The only time he stopped working more than a few minutes was at night when he would eventually fall asleep, and wake up crying on top of one of the caskets.

Finally came the time that he had to set Silas and Caspian to rest, he requested Kronos' body be held a bit longer as his burial would be the most difficult. The night before Methos had engraved the tombstones with the epitaphs, and he had gone out and dug the graves perfectly…God how he hated coming out to this place…he lost count of how many were buried here, hundreds, thousands maybe…all long gone, his wives, his children, his friends, now his brothers. That's why he wasn't much for company or neighbors, he under a different identity had bought up a few good acres of land a good several miles away from any sign of civilization, and turned part of it into a come-and-go home where he never stayed more than a few days. Another good part of the land had become a cemetery for those he had loved and lost, he took care of everything, prepared the bodies for the funeral, made the coffins, engraved the tombstones, dug and filled the graves, said the prayers, spent his 40 days in mourning countless times.

He had them put in the coffins and moved them out right near the graves, he opened the lids one last time to take a final look at his brothers. The undertaker techniques of today were nothing short of marvelous, the work done in hiding the obvious cause of death made the damage barely noticeable, it almost looked as if they were temporarily dead. It was often said when somebody died it looked as if they were asleep, not these two, the only time before they looked this peaceful was when they were recovering from wounds too great to survive. They looked almost perfect for the burial, but something was missing.

"You thought I forgot, didn't you?"

He didn't know why he said it, he knew he wouldn't get any answer, but it was true he didn't forget. It was the honorable thing to do to bury a warrior with his blade, when he left the submarine base he'd taken with him Silas' axe and Caspian's sword, he'd also gone back to the bridge and recovered Caspian's dagger. It was minor detail but he made sure their weapons were in an exact place with them before he closed the coffins for the final time.

"I'm sorry," was all he was able to say. He didn't know if they could hear him in death, and he wasn't sure he even wanted to know, but somehow he felt he should say something, but it wasn't nearly what he wanted to. But somehow he couldn't bring himself to explain any of it.

He got the coffins in the ground and replaced the dirt and stayed out in the cemetery for two hours, then he finally tore himself away to prepare for Kronos' burial. When he brought Kronos' body there he moved it to a room where he himself had often acted as the embalmer. The chemicals had replaced his blood, but it wasn't good enough, Methos felt, he had his own resources, namely a large bottle full of arsenic. Kronos had said it before several times, he did love the old ways best, and this was a far more effective method that would do more than delay decomposition, it would mummify the body entirely. It was dangerous, more so to mortals than to people like himself, still he risked a death of his own using the stuff, but he didn't care. He was nervous, he had never added to embalming solvents after everything had been taken care of and he wouldn't know what would happen to the body, but he felt he had to try.

As he did it, he couldn't remember seeing what he was doing, or if it worked, it was as if he was being moved to carry out this act in regards to his brother by an unseen force. As if now he were the strung up puppet acting to someone else's satisfaction. When the work was done, Kronos looked to him to be the same as when he brought him here. He gently placed the body in the coffin and looked down upon him, seeing him laying here dead undid Methos. He closed the lid and sunk down beside the coffin and cried and cried, it was dark when he finally went to sleep, and it was still dark when he woke up and found himself laying on top of the coffin. He figured he must've slept through the entire day but to be honest he wouldn't swear to anything right now he was so confused.

He hauled the coffin out to the graveyard to the plot where he'd already dug the grave and put the tombstone into place. A storm had come up during the night and the rain was pouring down, but he barely noticed. What he did notice was the engraving on the stone, he had said simply what he could that could possibly do him justice: Kronos – Eternally Beloved Brother – Rest in Peace. One last time he had to see him, so he raised the lid and saw his brother, already looking like he was resting as peacefully as was possible.

"I did love you," Methos tried to explain, "I'm sorry things had to happen the way they did. I wish it could be different, I wish you could still be here." Even with the rain pouring down on him he could feel the distinctive touch of his own tears sliding down his face, "I'm sorry, I love you."

He placed a meek kiss on Kronos' temple and as he had done with Silas and Caspian, he put Kronos' sword with him in the coffin and after which he closed the casket and lowered it into the ground and set to work covering the grave. When it was that he had finished replacing the dirt on the grave, he didn't know and he didn't care, he spent the night out in the cemetery, laying at the grave, in the pouring down rain, on what he guessed to be the coldest night of the year.

The next few days, Methos hadn't the strength or the will or the want to live much longer, so he didn't bother moving himself from the graveyard. Sometimes he wished he were buried here among his family, if he were to be killed, he would place responsibility of carrying that out to…before he would've automatically said Joe Dawson, but considering how well he and MacLeod were friends, it stood to reasonable doubt that Dawson would ever want to see him again either. He really wasn't too eager to go find him and find out what he feared to be the truth, that his friendship with Dawson was over as well.

After a while he realized that he could stay laid out here among the dead all he wanted, but he was still alive, and he stayed alive as long as he stayed smart. He had to laugh at the irony, Ruth over 4,000 years ago had been his first teacher, it was because of her that he ever learned anything, but his learning led to his departure from the Horsemen, something that Kronos swore revenge on him for lasting over 2 millennia, but when they were together it was Kronos who depended on his intelligence to help them in their raids, but it hadn't been enough for Methos, so he'd left, in so disappointing his brothers, and recently, for the first time in over 2 thousand years and for the very last time, he reunited with his family, which had disappointed MacLeod. His whole life it hadn't mattered what he did because he always ended up hurting somebody he cared for.

Immortality was no gift, it was a curse and he tried to figure out what he had done that was so horrible that he had to pay the penalty for being the oldest known of them still alive. He wanted to live even though he was tired of his life, but because of what he was, he was wanted for dead by a great many, and someday it might prove too tempting not to lay down his sword and give in.

In fact, he pulled himself up from the ground and was surprised he hadn't thought of this before. Though the truth was he _had_ thought of it before, a long time ago, but the outcome was so horrible he'd forced himself to block it out.

* * *

It had been before they became the murderous bastards that were the Horsemen, but after they had been attacked once too many. Methos had been haunted day and night by the memories of being raped, being killed, being a slave, being powerless and staying alive only so long as he could please those who owned him. At day it was bad enough because he felt the others could feel it in him, but at night it was worse because the nightmares came and it was to exact detail what had happened to him and he couldn't stop it. Finally he'd had enough and decided he'd rather be dead than have to live with the memories of what was done to him. He had gone out somewhere where they couldn't find him, and he had sat himself down on his knees and held his sword with the blade back to his throat. He hoped this worked, he didn't want to survive and have to explain himself, he would only prove a further disgrace to his Brothers.

He moved the blade so that when he swung it should work, he had concentrated so hard on making sure he died that he didn't feel another Immortal approach, nor had he heard Kronos scream. What he did notice was when Kronos knocked the sword out of his grip and wrestled with him until they were both on the ground.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kronos demanded to know.

"Just let me die, it hurts too much to live!" Methos pleaded.

Kronos grabbed Methos' wrists and broke them, Methos screamed and curled up into a ball as Kronos grabbed the sword and tossed it well out of his reach. Then he grabbed Methos and pulled him up onto his lap while Methos continued moaning and wailing in pain of the broken bones in his wrists.

"Methos, what is the matter with you?" Kronos asked.

"It hurts too much, Kronos, living, surviving, waking up another day, every day, it's killing me. I remember, I remember what they did, what I did, what I fought against and lost…I remember it all and it hurts too much."

"I know, Methos, I know what it's like."

"How do you go on living?"

"I just do, I know that I have the 3 of you, Methos, no matter what happens between us, you are still my Brother, and I'll always love you."

"I love you too, Kronos."

"Then how could you do this? Don't you know it would kill me if you ever died? And to do it yourself!"

Methos started crying again as he brought his arms up by his head so Kronos couldn't hit him. "I'm sorry, Kronos! I'm sorry," he sobbed.

Kronos let out an exasperated sigh to say the least and he stroked Methos from the back his head down to his back and up again, "It's okay, you're alive and that's all that matters, but Methos, we are Brothers, we stay together, you understand?"

Methos nodded, after a while when he had calmed down and he had healed, Kronos unsheathed his dagger and cut open his palm and then passed the dagger to Methos, "We stay together, swear it."

Methos took the dagger and cut into his own hand and joined his with Kronos' as the blood mixed, "I swear, Brother, I swear."

That had been the end of that, Kronos had sworn they would have their revenge against the people who hurt them and he was right, for a thousand years they had their revenge against the guilty and the innocent, it was all the same to them then. But now, now Methos was older, wiser, alone, and living hurt him more than ever.

He thought back to those days, and when he thought about it, he suppose he could understand why Kronos had been so furious with him when he left them 2000 years ago. For one side of it, they were Brothers, and sworn to never leave one another, and until then Methos had never gone back on a swear to Kronos before, so he never had any reason to suspect he would do such a thing. Something else he considered, Kronos always knew that he needed someone watching him a lot of times because he had started out the weakest of them all, needing the most care, as such had been done again after Cassandra left. Kronos was right, he wasn't the strongest or the toughest, but he was the survivor, and Kronos had seen to that plenty of times.

Now Methos was beginning to wonder if in the Double Quickening, part of Kronos had passed into him. Some days he woke up and he could almost feel Kronos next to him, could almost hear him speaking to him. And now, it was almost as if he could tell exactly what Kronos had thought in his life. Methos had been the oldest but Kronos was the leader so he felt himself responsible for the others, and he especially saw it that he needed to protect Methos in life. As much as he'd hurt Methos over the years, and as much as Methos had hurt him by betraying him and leaving the Horsemen, Kronos still loved him, they were still Brothers, no matter what. That was a laugh, some brother he was, he carefully and oh so perfectly plotted and carried out the murders of his only remaining family.

Kronos had been right all those years ago, he was a traitor. Methos laid back against the cold wet ground and mourned the loss of his Brothers. He stayed there for what he guessed to be the next few days, finally one night he realized that he couldn't stand to stay in the cemetery any longer. So he pulled himself up and headed into the house, but not much sooner than once he got in the door, he fell to the floor and fell asleep there. He woke up in the early morning covered with a heavy blanket from his bed though he couldn't remember getting up for it at any time in the night.

He pulled himself together long enough to change his clothes and get something to eat and find out what day it was, or rather what month. Already he'd been here a month since departing from MacLeod at the cemetery in France, now what? Well, he'd decided he was too depressed to stay among the dead anymore, he had to get out, so he headed back to his apartment in town in the middle of civilization. Of course once he got there things didn't get much better, he was haunted in the night by memories and nightmares too extreme to be any illusion of his mind. He found himself desperate to be rid of the dreams, of the memories, of everything that haunted him in his sleep. Death being only temporary for him, many a times he took little suicidal trips, this being the modern age he wouldn't have to gut himself for that.

* * *

Never in the months that he'd had them could he figure what he was thinking stashing away some 5,000 sleeping pills and painkillers, but he was glad he'd put them away. He picked up one bottle of thirty pills, though this was less painful and a bit more convenient from his other methods, it wasn't much easier as these pills had such a God-awful taste that every pill required its own drink to be taken with, otherwise he'd throw up everything and he could forget keeping them down long enough to do any damage. Thirty pills mixed with thirty drinks of bourbon, if this didn't kill him he'd be in the bathroom all night. It didn't kill him, but it came pretty close, and for a while, it seemed to work, but then something went wrong. Methos woke up and he knew he'd only been asleep a few hours, and he hadn't died yet, and he had a weird sort of pumping feeling surge through his stomach.

30 barbiturates and 30 ounces of bourbon came up and went down the drain of the sink. That was a mistake he wouldn't make again. The next day he tried it again, only this time he took 40 pills with water, though to be honest he never could figure out how so many people looking to end it all could take a handful or a bottleful of these things. Laying down on the train tracks would've been much more convenient, and he realized that applied to him too, but he decided against it.

That time everything stayed down, it still wasn't enough to kill him, but he would settle for what it gave him, and what it gave him was a few hours of what was as close to peace as he could have, no nightmare, no memories, no haunting feelings that his Brother was right with him. But it never lasted long, and soon he found himself taking over 50 pills at a time for any rest. He slept so much when he woke up he forgot to eat, and after a few days of repeating this, he got a good look at himself in the mirror. He truly looked like Death, his skin was paler than normal, his eyes were pale, though he slept he had dark bags under his eyes, he'd lost a considerable amount of weight but not quite to the point he looked starving though he was, but his body couldn't feel it anymore. Any other time and he probably would've done something, but he was too depressed to care and he just went back to bed.

Some days it hurt him too much to get out of bed, so he didn't bother with more pills, he just lay there and prayed for sleep. He hated sleeping in his bed, it was a double so there was plenty of room to feel around in, and all that reminded him of was times before when he usually had someone else in the bed with him. For the longest time he tried to convince himself that he wouldn't be upset when Kronos died, but now that he actually was, and Methos had seen it for himself, and had to be the one to bury him, it ripped him apart. He never thought he could miss Kronos as much as he was, and he wondered if it would ever end. This particular time he stayed in bed so long that he almost died from dehydration, but before that could finally take, he forced himself out of the bed, and started over again with the pills.

Day and night for the longest time this continued, about 50 pills at a time for a few hours sleep with no dreams, and no thoughts, nothing but a cold darkness that he seemed to get lost in. But he knew it would never last, nothing ever lasted forever, and nothing good ever lasted long. Every day he overdosed on sleeping pills and liquor, though after his last experience, not at the same time, only remembering every few days to get something to eat so he didn't fully waste away to nothing. Finally the day came that he found he had taken every pill in his apartment, he tried to figure how he could've made 5,000 tranquilizers and painkillers disappear in…2 months, was that how long he'd been here? But he knew he hadn't taken pills _every _day, there had been plenty of times that he hadn't even left the bed, so he just laid there and tried to think, or rather tried not to think about anything. He looked himself over in the mirror, he looked even worse than before and he hadn't been sure that was possible.

_Oh God, where do I go from here?_ he wondered.

His life was in ruins, if it got any worse he'd be dead and that was actually starting to sound like a better idea than what he was doing now, just hanging in there. He was going crazy, he had to get out of here, he had to get away from this place.

He didn't recall leaving, or even walking off anywhere, but he remembered walking into Joe's bar and taking his regular seat. He felt terrible, with all the weight he'd lost in the last 3 months, he'd lost a lot of body heat so kept his trenchcoat wrapped tightly around himself, also to hopefully hide the way he must've looked being as gaunt as he was. For the most of it he kept his head down and didn't look at anybody, but he turned and looked at just the same time that Joe came around front, and he saw Methos, and before Methos looked away, he could've sworn Joe would have a heart attack seeing him here. Joe came over to the table and sat down beside him, "Oh my God, Adam, is that you?"

Methos didn't look at him, "Do you hate me too, Joe?"

"Hate you?" Joe reached over and grabbed him by the sides of his face, "Let me get a look at you, I haven't seen you in so long…" and when he got a look at how Methos had not fared well since leaving MacLeod, he went into momentary shock, "Adam, what the hell happened? Are you okay?"

"I don't believe this." Methos had expected to hear that he wasn't welcome here, to leave or he would be killed, he hadn't expected this, "Joe, why don't you hate me too?"

"What're you talking about?"

"I'm talking about MacLeod," Methos tried to go into further detail but a sudden wave of fatigue washed over him and he had to stop to regain his balance in the chair and to get his head to stop throbbing.

Joe got up from the table and went over to the bar, "Let me get you a drink."

Methos waited for the room to stop spinning before he opened his eyes fully again, and when he did, Joe came back with a couple of beers.

"I've embalmed myself with this stuff," Methos said to himself as he flipped the lid off.

"Where have you been?" Joe asked.

"Joe, I don't get it, you're good friends with MacLeod, what he knows, you know, so you have to know about what I've done, what I was, why don't you hate me?"

Methos wore himself out talking, he laid his head on his arms on the table and rested for a moment. He felt Joe run a hand through his hair and smooth it back, "Adam, I don't write people off like that, you've known me for 10 years, you should know that."

"What's 10 years compared to the two thousand I spent as a murderous bastard? Do you know what I did? Do you even want to know?"

"Those were different times, Methos, everybody lived under different rules, there's no comparison between the two."

"Maybe not, but MacLeod doesn't happen to see it that way."

"Yeah well, he and I ain't exactly been on the best of terms lately."

Methos looked up at Joe through one open eye, "Why?"

"He and I don't see eye to eye on some things, and after you left, about the only time we spent talking to each other was checking to see if either of us had heard from you."

Methos groaned, "Maybe you would've been better off if neither of you had ever met me."

"Don't talk like that."

"It's true, isn't it?"

"No. You're a good friend, Adam."

He laughed, "Oh yeah, I'm a lot of help."

"Where were you? We checked everywhere for you."

Methos realized he was crying, but he tried to answer and sound normal, "I had to get away, from everything, from you, MacLeod, everybody, I needed to be by myself."

"I understand."

"No you don't…they were family, Joe, they were my family, for a long time they were the only ones I had…and they didn't start out the way Cassandra described them."

"I didn't figure they did. Nobody ever starts out that way, they become it through time."

Methos groaned, "Joe, how have you managed to know so much being so young?"

"Hey, I've been around, I've lived, I know how things are," Joe assured him, "And I know you're being honest with me when you say you've changed, I know you have."

"A pity," Methos said, "Such intelligence can be blessed on the young and MacLeod has had 400 years to pick up on this and it passed him by completely."

Joe laughed and pulled Methos to him, and it was then that he realized something was wrong. Even through Methos' coat Joe could tell something was missing, he pulled open one side and almost went into shock at how Methos barely fit his clothes anymore. He always tried to hide his build in clothes a size too big, but now it looked like he could slip right out of them completely. "Adam! My God, when was the last time you ate?" He put his hand on Methos' stomach and was stunned by how little there was to feel, then he moved his hand over to his ribs and felt them sticking out. Touching them alone felt painful enough, he couldn't imagine how it must've felt to move with them like that.

Methos pulled himself away from Joe and stood up, "Thanks for the beer, Joe, it's been good to see you again, and it's a relief you don't hate me, even though you'd have a right to, but I better go now."

"Adam," Joe stood up.

"Don't say it, Joe, don't say anything…I'm not going to do anything drastic, I just have to get out of here."

"Don't you disappear on me like that again, my heart can only take so many more surprises," Joe told him.

Methos smiled weakly, "I promise, Joe, but I have to go now, so goodnight."

He left the bar and walked straight into a downpour. In truth he barely felt the rain though it was nice and cold, something he felt he needed right about now. He didn't know how far he walked and he didn't care, he wasn't paying attention to much of anything, which is why he hadn't noticed when he'd reached MacLeod's dojo. Apparently MacLeod had something to tend to on the first floor because the presence registered in Methos' head and a minute later, Duncan came out and was surprised to see him.

"Methos? Oh my God."

Methos wanted to laugh at how that had been a common thing said to him recently, but he was too tired. Without another word, Duncan grabbed him by the arm and pulled him inside out of the rain.

"Where have you been, Methos?" Duncan asked.

Methos was half asleep and hadn't heard him, "What?"

"Where have you been these past few months? What happened?"

Methos opened his mouth to talk but then decided against it. No, there were no words that could help him now, nothing he could say could make MacLeod hate him any less. He especially couldn't tell MacLeod that he'd spent the better part of the first month of his absence burying his brothers. No, let the bloody Scot think they were already buried by the Watchers, or the police in an unmarked grave somewhere, that would make it easier on all of them.

Duncan grabbed for Methos' coat but Methos backed away and looked at him with a none-too-friendly stare.

"Come on, Methos, you have to get out of this, you're completely soaked to the bone," Duncan said as he grabbed the collar of the coat and jerked it off Methos. Now Methos really was cold, and he wrapped his arms around himself, simultaneously trying to hide what MacLeod was gawking at now, how thin he was, how near death he looked, or rather how much like Death he looked. He pressed his lips together and looked at MacLeod through half closed eyelids and sincerely hoped he didn't have to explain himself.

Macleod grabbed him again and took him over to the elevator, "Come on, let's go upstairs."

Just like Kronos, Methos humored himself, so bossy. But he didn't dare say it.

The lift reached the top and MacLeod pushed it open and they both walked out, Methos took off his boots and plopped down on the couch and closed his eyes. He woke up a while later and MacLeod was pulling him up and over to the table. As little as he'd had to eat in the past few weeks, he wasn't sure how his stomach would hold up against pork chops and baked potatoes, but he found the offer too tempting to resist.

MacLeod tried to get him to talk during dinner and after, but Methos wasn't in any mood to talk, and he wasn't hearing half of what was being said either. His stomach cramped after dinner so he just lay back on the couch and waited for it to pass.

"Methos, can you hear me?"

Methos opened his eyes and looked at him, "What?"

"I said it's good to see you again, we were worried about you."

That was a laugh, Methos turned away, but not for the reason he wished he was. Even though he didn't believe MacLeod, he felt tears building up in his eyes, and he hated himself for it.

"Methos, are you allright?"

Methos pushed at MacLeod so he'd go away, but he clearly didn't get the message.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

And where would he start? With the burial? With Cassandra? With Kronos? No, he wouldn't tell him, he wouldn't say one word.

"Methos."

He reluctantly turned and looked at him.

"Where did you go?"

"Don't do this to me, MacLeod, please."

"Methos…"

"I had to get away, after the Quickening…you wouldn't understand…they were my family for two thousand years, we protected each other, we understood each other, having them inside of me…I had to get away or I'd do something I'd regret once I was myself again. You can't understand, and I don't expect you to, what it's like to have 4,000 year old Quickenings of your own family, your own brothers, soaring around inside your head every second of the day. I couldn't stay, MacLeod, I was going out of my mind."

"Are you better now?"

"Oh God, I hope so…I've put up with this for so long I hope so…but you have to understand, MacLeod, we did not start out the way Cassandra told you. Nobody starts that way, nobody I've known personally anyway…I don't know what happened, or when it did, or why…but something changed, in all of us." He got up from the couch and stormed over to the windows so he didn't have to make eye contact with the Scot, "The things done to us by other people were so horrible, but I'm not making excuses, what we did to Cassandra and the others probably wasn't any better, but it was never worse…don't misunderstand, MacLeod, she was the first and only Immortal slave we had. More was done to her because she couldn't die, but it could never compare to what was done to us…but you can't understand that. She will always be the helpless little woman and I'll always be the murderous bastard who raped her and killed her people.

"You know I let her go, but do you know what punishment I took for her? Do you know that Kronos would've taken her head if I hadn't let him take her? I couldn't let that happen, I would rather she hated me for the rest of her life just so long as she stay alive. Do you know why I quit being Death? Do you know why I left the Horsemen? It was because of her, a thousand years I was the cold killer she knew me as…and then she came along, and she made me love again. It's because of her, that I changed, even after all this time I don't know what she did, but had it not been for her, I never would've been any different from Kronos. And Kronos, do you know what I did after she stabbed him? I told him she ran off before I could see her, because if he knew the truth, that I'd let her go, if he'd been able to capture her, he would've tortured her even more just to make me suffer. So I protected her, I protected her from Kronos' excess torture and I protected her from being found. Only _I_ knew which way she'd gone, and Kronos knew that I saw her get away.

"He tried to get me to confess, but I wouldn't, and do you know what price I paid for giving her back her freedom? I was beaten by Kronos, my own Brother, every day, I was chained to the ground so I couldn't fight, couldn't resist, couldn't get away. I was starved to the point I almost died, not much different than how I am now, only now I've got 5,000 barbiturates passing through me to keep numb. Every day, every single hour I felt every part of me get busted open and go numb and severed all because he wanted to hear me say what he already knew was true. But I didn't, I cared about Cassandra that much, that I was ready to die to keep her safe from my _own_ Brothers!"

"Oh Methos…"

"Don't touch me!" Methos swung at Duncan when he tried to put his hand on his shoulder. He could tell what was going through MacLeod's mind right now. He thought Methos was crazy, delusional as a direct result of what he'd put himself through these past few months. Now the room was spinning and he made it back to the couch before he absolutely collapsed.

Duncan disappeared for a minute and when he came back he pulled Methos upright for a minute while he slipped a pillow behind his head, then covered him with a heavy sheet. "I think you better get some rest now, Methos."

He started to walk away but Methos reached out and grabbed his arm and said, "I'm sorry."

He didn't say what he was sorry for, and he wasn't sure he knew himself, but MacLeod seemed to understand it in some way. He turned back towards Methos and said, "If you feel better tomorrow, we'll talk, now goodnight, Methos, sleep well."

And that had been how this whole mess started as Methos recalled, where did he go from here?


	20. Chapter 20

Kronos held Methos tight in his arms as he waited for Methos to wear himself down. Many a nights he'd had to do this before, but this was by far _the_ most exhausting time of them all.

"Take it easy, Methos, it's over now, so why are you still so upset?"

"Kronos, I don't know what I'm doing anymore, I don't know where I go on from here, I don't know if I _can_ go on."

Kronos slipped his hand under Methos' chin and forced him to look at him, "You see, Brother, that's why I brought you here. All this time you've been turning yourself into a catatonic, suicidal thing that I hardly even recognize anymore. What happened to you? After you buried us you should've been happy, you had your life back."

"What life? I have no life, not anymore."

"That's not true and you know it."

"I don't know what's happening to me anymore, and all I can think about is you, and Silas and Caspian, and what we were…"

Kronos laughed and stroked Methos' head as he lay down against his chest again. "Kronos."

"Hmm?"

"There's something I want to know, something I didn't ask you for the longest time because you swore me not too, but I have to know."

"What is it?"

Methos looked him dead in the eyes, "How did Mary die?"

"I should've known you'd ask, my whole life I managed to avoid having to answer...but now I suppose I don't have any choice."

That brought Methos to think of another question he'd long since wondered about, "Did you think about her?" By which he meant after her death.

"Often, it was easy to seem like I didn't care about anyone or anything, but every so often over the centuries, I'd wake up at night and see her in the room. All of seven years old again and she stared right at me, and those eyes, those eyes…it haunted me. It always took me back to the night she died."

* * *

The day had been long and Kronos had been riding for most of it, but he wasn't riding anywhere, there wasn't anywhere in particular to go. He'd been doing a lot of this lately, riding out at the beginning of the day and not returning to camp until after dark. He couldn't explain why, but there was something that got him out here every day. This time he was ready to turn around and go back to the others, he wasn't much interested in staying out here much longer today. It was then that Kronos realized he'd ridden further than he thought, and instead of being nearby to the camp, he was closer to the tavern where Mary had been raised the last ten years.

That gave him an idea, he decided he'd drop in and surprise them, but the further he rode he realized the surprise was on him. What he saw up ahead terrified him. The tavern was on fire, and there were several men standing nearby who it seemed couldn't care less. Kronos charged forth with his sword drawn and he approached the men, who seemed surprise by his sudden intrusion.

"What have you done? You bastards! What have you done?"

Before he could get an answer from anybody, he already struck down one man and two more tried for him. In a short amount of time he gathered that these men, whoever they were, were soldiers, though for who he didn't know, and he didn't know how many there were but he guessed near 15. For every one he killed there were two men ready for him. Finally he proved to have gotten in deeper than he could handle, two of the soldiers knocked him off his horse and had him at a disadvantage. He felt the sword of one of the soldiers at his neck, and he awaited the killing move.

He heard somebody else approaching on horseback and he saw what they all saw, a rider in strange white clothes and an odd mask and carrying a sword. He rode directly to Kronos and the soldier switched from trying to kill him, to trying to kill the rider. The rider struck him down before he could raise his sword to start the fight, giving Kronos the chance to get back up and resume fighting. Now half of the soldiers were trying for Kronos, and the other half for the mysterious rider, each proved to have an advantage over the men, or so it seemed. One came upon Kronos from behind and was about to strike, but the rider ran him in, unfortunately it was at that same time that another soldier struck him right below the heart, and he fell off his horse and onto the ground. Kronos killed him and then it became apparent that all the soldiers were dead, now came the time to find out who this was laying before him.

Kronos grabbed the mask and took it off and his heart stopped. Underneath him lay Mary, hurt and dying, she didn't say anything, only looked up at him.

"Mary," Kronos felt himself sinking to the ground beside her.

"Hi, Kronos," she said.

Kronos felt a heart that he didn't know he had break and he began crying, "Oh my God, Mary," he pulled her onto his lap and held her as he felt the life draw from her body.

Despite everything, Mary stayed strong and acted as if she were allright and she explained, "I had to do it, Kronos, they killed the others, they set fire to the tavern, I had to stop them."

And evidently that had come at a price of her life, Kronos sobbed as he held her close to him. "I'm sorry, Mary."

"You couldn't have known," she said. She reached and grabbed Kronos' arm weakly, "When you go back tonight, tell Methos and Silas that I love them…and I want you to know that I love you too."

Only she could make Kronos smile during a time like this, "And I love you, Mary, even though for a long time it didn't seem like it, I'm sorry."

"Don't think about it," Mary said as she tightened her grip on his arm and looked up into his eyes, "I've known you for 10 years, I've always known you loved me, I could tell…Kronos, I want you to promise me something."

"What's that?"

"Take care of Methos, he needs you, he's not as strong as the others, not yet."

"I will," Kronos tearfully promised, "I will…I love you Mary, as much as if you were my own daughter, I couldn't love you more."

She weakly smiled, "Well it's nice to be wanted," she looked up at him, "Goodbye, Father."

Mary let go of Kronos' arm and closed her eyes and passed away. Kronos cried and held her lifeless body a while before he decided to bury her. He looked down and saw that his hands, his clothes, were completely stained with blood, her blood. He swore he was losing his mind, but he set about burying her all the same. He dug a grave and carefully placed her in, and it killed him knowing that after this, she would stay in this ground forever. Never to see her again, never to hear her voice again, to never know what she might have done, that killed him.

He looked at her angelic face and not yet grown body for one last time, and reluctantly and sobbing uncontrollably, covered Mary's body and filled the grave. When he had finished he realized that her sword was left where she had fallen, he picked it up and took it to the grave and plunged it in to mark where she was buried. As hard as this was, now came the hardest part yet, he had to return and tell Methos and Silas what had happened.

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me?" Methos asked, "I would've understood."

Kronos sort of half smiled now that the deed of telling Methos was over, he looked down at his brother and stroked his hair as he answered, "I was worried it would hurt you too much."

"What?"

"I know, I know, I've no faith in you whatsoever, but I just didn't want to hurt you anymore than I already had…Mary was right, you weren't as strong as us, but you changed that."

"I thought I was the survivor," Methos said.

"You were, but you grew, Methos, through time you grew stronger, you didn't _just _survive, you were an equal to us. But when the time came, you did what you did best, that was making sure you stayed alive…"

"No matter what," Methos regretfully replied.

"I'm not happy that you had to be put through the things you were, but I'm glad you managed to stay alive."

"Do you ever wonder what would've happened if we hadn't become what we did?" Methos asked.

"Sometimes…can't say the idea ever went too far though…but it might've been nice if it had still been us and Silas and Caspian and Jezebel."

That was a mental hit to Methos, he had tried before finding Jezebel but with no success. He had hoped that if she was still alive, she wouldn't prove to be exactly as secretive as they had, but it proved Kronos had taught her well in everything he knew.

"I tried to find her, Kronos, I looked for a long time, but I could never find anything."

"That's allright, Methos."

"I just wish we knew if she was still alive."

"She is."

Methos pulled himself up and looked directly at his brother, "How do you know?"

Kronos laughed and pushed on Methos' back, "Lie down, I'll tell you…remember what I told you about after MacLeod and the Texas Rangers shot me down?"

"You mean where they found the empty grave and panicked? Yes I remember that very well," Methos said.

"Well Methos, I had a little help there…somebody else found me and dug me out."

* * *

Kronos returned to life and after a dazed minute found himself tied to a bed in some hotel room. He felt another Immortal nearby and looked around, and he finally saw the person he was looking for. She was a woman but she was dressed like a man, she took off her Stetson hat and revealed a long braid of dark hair and she smiled at him as she approached the bed, "Melvin Koren…or maybe I should say, Kronos…my, my, how the tables have turned."

He tried to think, how could she know him? Then something hit him, he tried to imagine her with her hair much shorter, and instead of pants and a long duster he tried seeing her in a long white tunic…yes, it fit.

"Jeze-bel," he barely got the word out he was so shocked.

She giggled, "It's been a long time, you almost didn't recognize me again."

Kronos tried to get loose but she had him tied tight to the bedposts and he couldn't move, "Jezebel." This was torture, his wife, the woman he loved for four thousand years and had lost, and he couldn't even go near her, "Jezebel, come over here so I know it's really you, that I'm not just dreaming."

The corners of her mouth moved up into an almost sinister grin as she came up beside him and kissed him on his forehead, "I wouldn't do that to you, Kronos, you know that."

"Oh my God, I just can't believe you're really here…I…I…"

"You thought I was dead, it's okay, Kronos, you can say it, you don't expect 4,000 years later to see someone again."

Kronos was caught between relieved that Jezebel was still alive, and overwhelm from the sudden surprise and he found himself crying and he couldn't stop.

"Shhhhhh, it's allright, Kronos, it's allright." Jezebel set to work trying to sooth her riled husband.

But he still couldn't stop crying, "Oh God, Jezebel, I was terrified something had happened to you. For years I looked, and I looked, but I could never find you, I was so scared you were dead."

Jezebel sat down on the bed beside him and kissed him, "But I'm fine, love, and I'm here now, and you're here, and you're allright, and that's all that matters."

"Jezebel, untie me, please!" he pleaded.

"Why?" she teasingly asked.

He couldn't believe she would actually do this to him, "Jezebel, please, I want to touch you, I want to be able to hold you again."

"Allright."

She got up and untied first one wrist from the headboard, then the other, then she set about untying his feet. When she came back up he grabbed her and cried as he held her in his arms for the next few hours. Finally he seemed to calm down, or rather he wore himself down, by this time it was the dead of night and a heavy rain had started up. She went back to the bed where Kronos was trying to rest, but she shook him awake.

"Kronos, we have to get out of here," she told him, "The Texas Rangers know that your grave is empty, if we don't get out soon they might find you."

Kronos tiredly nodded and got up, he followed Jezebel down the darkened stairwell and out the door where both their horses were tied up.

"How did you find me?" Kronos asked as they unwrapped the reins.

"I'll explain later, we've got to get out of here before somebody sees you," she told him.

And they were up, off and out there. In the pouring down rain they rode for a few hours before they reached a small house in the middle of some God forsaken prairie.

"What is this place?" Kronos asked as they put the horses away in the stable.

"This is my home, for now," she replied.

"You _live_ here?"

"You can save your smart remarks, let's get out of this rain," Jezebel told him.

They dashed in through the front and Jezebel made her way to a table and lit the candlesticks in a candelabra that held five, that provided them with some light. "Now let's get out of these wet clothes."

Kronos started removing his when he remembered something, "Uh…"

Jezebel laughed, "Relax, I have something that'll fit you." She took off her clothes and kicked them over to the fireplace and went into another room and came out a few minutes later with two changes of clothes and she tossed one to Kronos.

"So how did you find me?"

"I heard stories about you, El Gato, the man who survived shootings and lynchings…I came out to Agua Dulce on a hunch it might be you, or Methos, or Silas or Caspian, but I got there too late. You were already dead and they were burying you, so I waited until nobody was looking, and I dug you up and took you with me."

"Smart."

"So what have you been up to these past few centuries?" she asked.

They sat down and over a bottle of whiskey Kronos explained about the Four Horsemen, then about how Methos had betrayed him and left him in a pit in the ground, and he'd only gotten out a few hundred years ago. For the longest time after he finished talking, Jezebel said absolutely nothing, she didn't even look at him, she seemed to be deep in thought.

"What is it, Jezebel?" He waited a minute and huffed when she didn't answer, "I suppose you hate me now too."

"Kronos, I knew some of those people you killed."

"What?"

"I heard stories about the Four Horsemen, but somehow I was always gone before they ever came, and when they finished, everybody I knew was dead."

"I don't believe it."

"Me either, here it is we've been trying to find each other for 4,000 years and if we'd been a day and a half slower in travel, they could've found each other long before now."

"…Jezebel."

"What's done is done, Kronos, let's just make the most of the time we have now."

He looked at her for the longest time and finally said, "You know, a long time ago someone told me you were probably still alive, but I didn't know what to believe."

She took him by the hands and pulled him to his feet, "Well I'm here now, and you know, as far back as we were married, there wasn't divorce, so that means that through all these years we are still married…did you ever marry anyone else?"

"A few times," Kronos replied, "You?"

She shook her head as she led him to the bedroom, "Never."

"Never?" four thousand years without remarriage was nothing short of amazing, but still he had to ask, "How?"

She smiled at him, "I guess I always knew we'd meet again someday."

With that said, she grabbed Kronos forth with a strong jerk and pushed him onto the bed.

* * *

Kronos woke up early in the next morning and found he was alone in the bed. Not only that, he couldn't feel another Immortal around anywhere, he jumped out of bed and went to the door and upon running out, ran into Jezebel, knocking both of them on the ground.

"You know something, Kronos," Jezebel said, "You could do very well as a battering ram."

Kronos got up on his knees and pulled Jezebel up, "I couldn't find you anywhere, I was worried…"

"That I left you? No, I came out to tend to the horses, and I didn't want to wake you up."

"I'm sorry, Jezebel."

She laughed and wrapped her arms around him, particularly close to his neck, and held him close to her, "I guess this whole thing's gotten you pretty easy to shake up."

"I just don't want to lose you again."

"You won't," she assured him, "You taught me well how to survive, and over the years it's worked perfectly. But we're together now, so let's enjoy it."

* * *

"And what happened?" Methos asked.

"Well, we were together for about forty blissful years, then the marriage just sort of fell apart."

"What?"

"I think we were just so close for so long that it worked against us…I thought Immortals were different from the rest of the world but apparently we weren't too far off…once the change happened, we became about like every other vengeful couple in the world."

"I find that hard to believe," Methos said.

"Oh Jezebel had plenty of complaints on me, coming home late, drinking too much, getting too violent with people in the brothels, and she would pick the time to bite my head off over these things when we were in bed…she retaliated by taking bugle lessons."

"That doesn't sound so bad," Methos said as he tried laying down and closing his eyes.

"At four o' clock in the morning, every morning for two months?"

Methos tried to stifle his laughing but to no avail, "So what happened?"

"Well you know, four thousand years we never considered divorce and we didn't after another forty, we still loved each other but not enough to put up with each other every second of every day. So we separated on good terms and bid each other scram, and decided we'd meet again someday…" the look on Kronos' face changed from an optimistic one to a melancholy one, "But we didn't get around to it."

"Oh Kronos, I'm sorry."

"It's allright, I want you to do me a favor though, if you ever find Jezebel, tell her what happened."

"I will," he promised, "so what happened after that?"

"Well, I met another woman and got married, you know the expression when marrying, you marry into the whole family?"

"Yes."

"Well after the wedding, I realized I married into her family of 11 children, of whom every day jumped me when I came home and pinned me to the ground and buried me, and every time it took me a good hour to get out."

"What happened to them?"

"Well, one night a horrible storm came up, the wind was blowing so hard that the windows all broke before anything could hit them…I wound up under the bulk of a tree that had been uprooted and thrown through the air, come morning when I finally got out from under it, they were all dead, so I buried them and moved on…"

"What happened after that?" Methos asked.

Kronos thought about it for a moment, "I met my next wife about 20 years later when I was working in a prison."

"Where in prison?"

"Death row, I was present at all the executions."

Methos thought about what his brother said and realized something didn't match, "In the 1930s, executions by electric chair were held in the courthouse basement, they didn't start that in the prisons until the 50's."

"Well this was one prison ahead of its time, small one too, in a small town, so small there never was more than one person awaiting execution at a time…I was working the graveyard shift and had just gotten in after a new prisoner had been transferred there. I wasn't even told what had happened but rather the report was left at my desk to go over."

* * *

The previous guards had just clocked out for the night and Kronos was on his way to go over the reports so he would know what he was dealing with. However before he reached it, he heard what sounded like the wailing of a wounded beast coming from the cellblock. He turned on the overhead lights in the hallway of the cellblock and checked out every cell as he passed to find them empty. One near the far end had somebody in it, and that person was the one making all the noise. Kronos beat on the bars with his club, "What's going on?" he demanded to know.

The prisoner turned around and Kronos felt his heart stop when he saw it was a woman. A very young woman, he couldn't imagine what she'd be doing in here. This had to be a mistake, either that or one very twisted joke, and even for a twisted sense of humor he wasn't laughing.

The woman had short cropped hair and a very small body, no doubt they hadn't any prison uniforms to fit her, so instead she wore what he guessed to be her own clothes, which consisted of a holey gray shirt with the sleeves gone and the neck cut off, and a threadbare pair of slacks, she was in her bare feet and in the dim light from above Kronos could make out discolored white birthmarks on the top of her feet even though she wore an overall dark tan.

She brushed away the tears that ran down her face with the back of her hand and said, "E'scuse me sir, I didn't mean to make any noise…I just couldn't help it."

Kronos looked back the way he'd came to see if the other guards were going to jump out laughing.

"What is it?" she asked, looking the way he did.

"This has to be some sort of joke," Kronos said and he turned back to her.

"What's a joke?"

"What's your name?"

She pointed back towards his desk, "They wrote it down at the table."

"I know that, but I want you to tell me, what's your name?"

She looked at him oddly through one crooked eye and said, "Nancy McClellan, who're you?"

Through the years he had gone through hundreds of aliases, but fortunately he was always able to remember which one fit him currently, "Robert Coffin."

"Was your family in the funeral business by any chance?" she asked.

He ignored that comment, "What're you doing here?"

"That's on the table too."

"I want to hear it from you, what's on the table is going to be presented from an entirely different viewpoint. So tell me, how does a young thing like yourself get put on death row?"

She looked him in the eyes and said without missing a beat, "I killed a man."

Already Kronos was liking this woman, "Really," he said, an all too familiar sinister grin forming on his face, "Tell me more."

She seemed to regain her composure as she started talking, "I was working in a bar here in town a few months ago…one night this guy came in with his wife, and he was already a bastard, I don't know if he already had something to drink or if he was always like that. But, he kept yelling at her over something or other and she really wasn't doing anything, she just didn't want to be there. Finally he said that if she didn't shut up, he was going to kill her when they got home, and he started beating her. I told him if he didn't leave her alone, I was going to kill him, he didn't believe me."

"What did you do?" Kronos asked.

"I picked up a bottle of beer and broke it over his head, then I picked up another bottle, broke the bottom and cut him with it, tore open his jugular, damn near cut his head off I reckon, only that wasn't enough, I started cutting at his shoulders, his wrists, his chest, I probably punctured his heart if he had one truth be known. He died after about 10 minutes, from severe blood loss, and I was sent to jail, taken to court and put here…now my 2 bit lawyer is trying to get me out on appeal. Claiming irresistible impulse."

"Irresistible impulse?"

"Meaning that I was temporarily insane and even though I knew what I was doing was wrong, I couldn't help myself. Brilliant defense, but it won't work, I know it won't. Nobody's going to take my word over those of the men who saw me butcher their poker pal. I'm just waiting here for them to get the chair ready for me."

Coming back to the fact made her start crying again, Kronos retreated to the desk and pulled out of one of the drawers, a small bottle of bourbon. He went back to the cell and slipped it to her through the bars, "Take a drink of this," he told her.

She accepted the bottle and put back a drink and immediately got a sour look on her face. "Rotgut," she murmured as she passed the bottle back, "Thanks, I needed that."

"When will you find out the final verdict?" Kronos asked.

"Couple days I reckon," she said, "They never make long work with lawyers in cases like this, you ought to know that."

"Actually I'm from a point in which people were executed on sight instead of being taken to the courthouse," Kronos explained, "Thankfully we're a bit more evolved now."

"I don't really mind dying," she said, "We all have to die sooner or later. It doesn't bother me that I killed a man, if I had it all to do it again, I'd still kill him in a heartbeat, it doesn't bother me that I must pay for what I did…it bothers me that I have to die at 22. My mother died at 43, her mother died at 39, her mother died at 34...I was hoping to outlive my mother's lifespan."

Nancy sat down on her bed, "I really don't get it though…I didn't know him, I didn't take anything from him, I didn't kill him for any personal gain, I did it because I gave him fair warning and he was too stupid to pay attention. Why must I be killed for that?"

"Unfortunately," Kronos replied, "We're not as evolved yet as we'd like to think we are."

"Evolved? There is no evolution, man is still a monkey, always has been, always will be…women are the only smart ones."

"You sound like you met my sister-in-law," Kronos said, recalling overhearing some of Ruth's many rants and raves many centuries before.

Nancy looked across the room to the clock on the wall. "What time do you clock out, Mr. Coffin?"

"Dawn, that's about a good six hours off."

She looked nervous now as something came to her mind, "Have you worked here long?"

"A while."

"Seen many of them?"

"What, executions?" she nodded, "My fair share."

"How bad is it?"

"From personal experience I can't say…but if done properly, the worst is done after a minute and half."

"Really…what about when it's not done properly?"

"What do you mean?"

"Things go wrong, can't they? Isn't it true that some people when they're electrocuted, their skin catches fire and their eyeballs melt and explode right out of their heads?"

"It has been known to happen," Kronos admitted.

She looked like she was about to start crying again, "Why don't they just shoot me?"

"Hanging is probably more efficient," Kronos said, "Done properly it's over in a few minutes, if it's done wrong it can take a couple hours, and the only thing they would need to keep plenty of in stock is rope."

"Whereas a firing squad requires bullets and gunpowder and cleaning for the guns…and electrocution can knock the power out of the city for days," Nancy added.

Each found it frightening how calmly they could discuss such events, especially when Nancy would be facing these same circumstances in a few days. All the same, somehow the two talked for the next five hours straight about anything and everything that came to their minds, and Nancy finally went to sleep as he got ready to clock out for the day.

Sometime after he left, Kronos came to a startling conclusion that sometime between last night and today, he had fallen in love with her. A convicted murderess found guilty of homicide in the first degree, days from execution and he was in love with her. Well, for a long time he figured he'd lose his mind and now he was convinced that's exactly what happened, but he didn't care, he still loved her and he started to work on an idea on what to do once the final verdict returned from the court.

* * *

He returned to work that following night and when he arrived, Nancy was ready to kill again. Her lawyer had come with the predicted news that the appeal had been turned down and she was to die the following Friday at 10 o' clock at night, she clawed at him through the bars and tried to strike him, screaming and cursing him and telling him if he knew what was good for himself he would leave while he had the chance. Kronos advised the other guards who were clocking out to get out of there and he would handle her. After they had gone, he went over to the cell where she was pacing back and forth and when she saw him, she cried and screamed as she told him what had happened.

She had known this would happen, but having the news actually hit her had undone her completely. Being the only guard on duty, Kronos knew he wasn't going to get caught for what he was about to do. He reached through the bars and stroked the back of her head as she cried, he truly felt sorry for her, he'd seen the sort of men who got the electric chair, all brutal murderers like himself, most of them were so crazy they didn't feel anything, especially sorry for what they'd done. Some of them made amends before being killed, but there hadn't been a single one that he'd ever seen while working in this prison, who killed for a reason as she had. The only thing that hanged her was the death had not been self defense, otherwise there wouldn't be any case.

Nancy sank to the floor and continued crying, Kronos unlocked the cell door and stepped in. He picked her up and put her on her bed and kept a hold at her shoulders as she cried. Two hours and a whole bottle of whiskey later, she finally stopped crying, but she was still upset, as could be expected, but she was still trying to plan for it.

"Friday at 10, they gonna give me a last meal before that?"

"Sure."

"And I'm entitled to whatever I want, right?" she asked.

"Pretty much."

"Good, get me something to write on, I'm going to make a list of what I want. If I have to die like this, I'm going to make sure they have a hell of a time cleaning up the mess following."

After she finished, Kronos read over the list and came to a conclusion that before they could even get her to the chair, she was going to eat herself to death, but he didn't say it. After rereading the two bottles of wine, the sirloin steak, the two-pound veil and pepper sandwich, the artichokes, the angel food cake, and the large plate of spaghetti he glanced at her and said, "Well aren't you the vivacious little eater?"

"No, I want to explode," she replied.

He sat down next to her on the bed and looked at her, but she wasn't looking at him.

"I wish I were already dead."

He put a hand on her shoulder to see what she did, and when she didn't do anything he took that as a sign to go on. "Would you be mad if I kissed you?"

"No," she replied, though she didn't seem to be paying much attention.

He leaned in close and kissed her on the cheek for a few brief seconds, after which she turned to him and said, "You call that a kiss?"

They both laughed for a minute, then she groaned and said, "God, that rotgut must be kicking in."

Kronos placed his hands on her sides to get her attention, "Now look, I know this is hard for you right now, but try not to cry anymore, everything's going to be allright."

"You trying to tell me the pearly gates are greased?" Nancy asked.

"I'm just saying don't give up yet, there's no telling what might happen."

"I'd like to believe you, but I can't."

He hugged her small and exhausted body to him, "Don't worry, I'll see to it myself."

* * *

In the days leading up to the execution, Kronos was worried that she had already given up. Every night that he came on duty, she was on her bed asleep, hardly moving the whole night, and the guards told him she slept through most of the day and for the most of it, didn't even wake up to eat.

One night Kronos couldn't take her silence anymore, he went to the cell and opened the door, the noise woke her up.

"I ain't had my meal yet," she said. Then she saw it was him, "Oh it's you, I thought it was time."

Kronos had brought with him a bottle and offered it to her and she kicked back a large part of it. "How've you been?" he asked.

"Allright considering, I suppose," she said.

He could tell she'd been crying, in how she talked, and by the redness of her eyes, and the dried mess that stuck to her eyelashes and down her cheeks.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," she said.

"If you weren't facing this, if you could be anywhere else but here, where would it be?"

"I don't know, Chicago maybe, just anywhere except where I've already been, nothing good ever comes from me and it stays to haunt me," she said.

"What would you do there?"

"I don't know, I couldn't go back to being a bartender again, I'd kill the next guy who beat his wife…grave digger I suppose."

"Why a grave digger?"

"I can't do anybody any harm there," she said.

She noticed that the entire time she spoke, he didn't stop staring at her. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

He grinned sheepishly when she said that, and he answered, "Just thinking, it's got to be a tragedy of the greatest kind to kill a nice young thing like you."

"Well the law don't see it that way," she said, "You know they're going to execute me tomorrow night."

"I know."

"Will you be there?"

"Of course I will."

"I'm scared, Robert," she said.

"That's natural."

"No," she shook her head, "I'm worried that they're going to try and put me in the chair before 10 o' clock, I've slept a lot in the last few days, but part of the time I was only pretending, to see if the guards said anything that they didn't think I'd hear. I don't know what they've got planned and I don't like it."

"Don't worry, I'll be here," he assured her.

She was overwhelmed with relief and threw her arms around him, squeezing his windpipe, "Thank you."

* * *

He showed up early the next day and found to his horror that Nancy had been right. Since nobody who was there at the time of the murder, or who was there in the courthouse at the trial, would be there to see her die, the guards decided to push it to 7 o' clock that night because the coroner was a friend of theirs and nobody would be the wiser. Currently she was halfway through her last meal and about to start on the second bottle of wine, Kronos picked it up when she wasn't looking and slipped in some pills he'd brought with him. "How're you holding up?" he asked.

"I'm shaking," she said, "I told you they would do this."

"I know," he replied.

She pushed away a plate covered in spaghetti sauce, "I think I'm going to throw up," she said.

"I'm not surprised," he said, "For your last meal you ordered enough food to supply the Marines."

She ignored him and picked up an artichoke, "Pass me that wine."

He put the bottle on the table in front of her and leaned to the side to kiss her cheek.

"Don't let them put that black hood on my face, Robert, please, if I have to die I want it to be looking at the bastards responsible."

"Don't worry, I won't."

* * *

She finished her meal and her head and leg were shaved to attach the electrodes to, and she was led to the execution room, Kronos stayed close by. She was led to the chair and strapped in, the electrodes put in place, a sponge soaked in a bucket and put on top of her head, one of the guards reached for the hood but Kronos made it obvious it wouldn't be necessary, since it was just them here to watch her die.

"Nancy McClellan," one of the guards told her, "You have been found guilty on charges of murder of the first degree and condemned to die, has the condemned anything to say before execution passes?"

Fighting back tears she nodded roughly and said, "I ain't sorry in the least for what I' done, if I had to do it all over again, I would and I wouldn't think twice about it. And if any of y'all got a problem with what I' done, y'all can go to hell!"

That was what Kronos admired in a person, their inability to feel guilt over what they had done, regardless of what the outcome had been. He stepped around behind a wall where the switch was to be thrown, he was thankful he didn't have this job. Previously it had been because he loved being up front to see the condemned die, but this time he wouldn't have had the stomach for it. Now came the moment of truth, he'd known this would happen so before turning in for work he had tucked away a spare gun inside of his jacket. When the guard grabbed the switch to throw it up and begin the execution, Kronos drew the gun out of the holster on his side and he shot him, then he pulled out his second gun and with one in each hand he went around the wall and before the other guards could realize what happened, he shot them as well.

The warden was the only one left to worry about and Kronos placed a bullet right between his eyes without even blinking. Nancy looked at him with eyes that would be wide if they weren't tired, and she wondered what would happen now. Kronos walked over to her and removed the electrodes, undid the straps on her wrists. The sleeping pills he'd given her were starting to take effect and her reflexes were slowing, he'd have to pull her along for the most of it. And he did, he pulled her along the corridors until they got to the outside and her put her in his car and he got them out of there.

* * *

They woke up the next morning in a cold room in a dark hotel in Chicago, an estimated 300 miles away from the prison. Nancy was speechless, but only for a moment.

"You killed them all?" she asked, "You risked your own life to get me out of there, why?"

There wasn't any reasonable answer in the world and he knew it, so instead of trying to sound like it had just been business he said to her, "You'll think me crazy for this but the night I met you on the row I fell in love with you almost immediately."

"Was this before or after you found out I was a murderer?"

"Oh from the start but don't think that set me back on it any."

"You really have no problem with me having killed someone?"

He laughed, "If it were to be revealed how many people I've killed in my life, and few of them were for justifiable reasons as in your case, I would've been sent to the electric chair long before now," he stopped and looked at her, watched her eyes, how she moved, to see if what he just said had any impact on her, "Does that scare you?"

"No," she firmly replied.

He knew she was lying, there wasn't a person alive who wouldn't be the slightest bit nervous about being in the company of a murderer, unless they themselves had already killed and were psychotic by that time, which she wasn't.

"Don't worry," he said, "I've been around a long time and I've seen and done most that there is, but one thing I have never done in my entire life is raise a hand to any of my wives."

"Wives?" she repeated, "You mean?"

"I'm asking if you'll marry me."

For a minute she looked at him and said nothing, she didn't even blink, she hardly even breathed, and for a moment Kronos wondered what happened. Then without warning she screamed and jumped into his arms and wrapped her own around his neck and kissed him.

"I'll take that as a yes."

* * *

For the next twenty years the two of them were blissfully married, after which they were painfully married. Nancy was a wandering spirit who got restless very quickly after staying in one place for too long, and Kronos was always in for whatever she had in mind, but even so she felt confined in the marriage, like a caged bird, and she longed for a deeper sense of freedom. Though they still loved each other, they simply could not stand being with each other anymore. Divorce though it was becoming a public event among unhappy couples, was rather messy, and murder was even messier. So Kronos made a deal with her, she could go off wherever it was that she desired, and he would go his way and let her disappear. A spouse had to remain missing for 7 years before one could marry again, and Kronos had that time available, and he knew that Nancy if she did remarry again would not be anytime soon, so it was agreed.

Somewhere during the marriage the inevitable had happened and Nancy questioned why he hadn't aged. Rather than tell her the truth and have to answer 6,000 questions to which there were no answers, least of all none by him, he told her that he had an unusual mutagenic flaw in his family's genetics that held off physical giveaways of aging. He knew she didn't have a head for science or genetics or biology so it didn't matter that his story had more holes in it than Swiss cheese, she believed him.

"And here all this time I thought you were Italian was the reason why," she commented, "They age like fine wines, the older they get the better they get."

Early one morning, she packed her bags, Kronos gave her one of his best guns for protection and several thousand dollars in cash and wished her well. She kissed him goodbye and wished him likewise and they each went their separate ways, after which Kronos spent the next 20 years alone, which was fine with him.

* * *

"She was my 20th wife," Kronos told Methos.

"Is she still alive?"

"Oh sure, a person like her doesn't just die out, they have to be murdered…of course she's slowed down a bit, signed herself into one of those rest homes where she's driving the doctors and the nurses out of their minds."

"Sounds like somebody you'd marry," Methos murmured and he laid tiredly against Kronos trying to rest, "If MacLeod knew…"

"I don't think MacLeod is old enough to deal with knowing most things I've done," Kronos said, and once again that sinister smirk that he wore often in life found its way to his face again, "But there is something I wonder how he'd react to."

The way he said this sparked a curiosity in Methos, he opened his eyes and pulled himself up so he could look him evenly in the eyes, "What's that, Kronos?"

"I wonder how MacLeod would handle the news if he ever found out that I used to know somebody very close and very dear to him right now."


	21. Chapter 21

It was early 1976 and Kronos had been off by himself for a good long time which was how he was becoming to prefer it. He didn't know what had driven him to it but he had become restless one day and went for a walk, though he didn't know where he was going or when he would be back. He took a path through town he was less familiar with and came to a back alley that was filled with garbage, and as he took a few more steps he was hit by something. There was somebody close by, an Immortal who hadn't died their first death yet, but he couldn't see anybody around.

He looked around to see somebody, anybody, nothing. That didn't mean they weren't hiding but then again, if they hadn't already become Immortal, they wouldn't have much reason to hide. On another hand, this was one of the more dangerous parts of the city and somebody could have very good reason to hide if they were trying to stay alive. Kronos took a few steps ahead, saw nothing, heard nothing, he searched at the ends of the alleys and up and down the next streets and saw nobody in close range. He was back to where he had started from and was considering the possibility that he'd gone crazy when he heard somebody crying. It sounded like a baby crying, and the suddenness of it gave him a good jump, for a minute he thought he'd mistaken and some mangy alley cat had gotten stepped on.

Then he heard the crying again and realized it was coming from within one of the trash cans, he picked up the lid of one of them and looked down, and what he saw was enough to shock even him.

"Oh!"

He dropped the lid and reached in and pulled out a baby boy, well, not exactly a baby but still damn young. Probably not even two years old, he figured as he looked over the child. He was so small, and so dirty, and he was dressed in rags that looked ready to fall apart and on the top of his head a mop of curly red hair was stuck to his forehead by some gunk he'd gotten into in the garbage can.

"Damned be me," Kronos said as he looked the baby over, "Who would throw you away?"

The child's eyes remained closed as he let out on long continuous bawl.

"I don't blame you," Kronos said as he glanced back at the garbage can, "I'd cry too if I was stuck in there."

This was still early in spring and damned cold out, and the mere rags the child was wrapped in weren't doing him any favors against the cold, so Kronos held him to his chest and kept him covered with his jacket as he made back for his apartment.

It had been a short trip back to the building and a short trip up two flights of stairs, and from there he went into the bathroom where he put the baby in the sink and turned on the faucet. He peeled off his jacket and threw it on the counter and rolled up his sleeves and picked up a bar of soap. First he removed the rags that the baby wore and turned the faucet so the water poured down on him. The baby screamed in response to the sudden downpour, and continued to scream as Kronos scrubbed and washed off everything that the poor child was covered in. He didn't believe in miracles but as far as he was concerned it was one that the infant wasn't hurt.

At an age particularly this young, and with nobody to take care of him, it wouldn't take much to end his life, and trap him in this infant body for eternity. The very idea was enough to make even Kronos cringe with disgust at such a life if it could be called that. He was brought back to reality by the increasing noise of the baby crying.

"Yeah yeah, cry all you want, scream your head off, you've got every right to."

When he figured the child was as clean as he could get him, he turned off the taps and wrapped the baby up in a towel and looked at him, who by now seemed to have finally calmed down and was drifting off to sleep.

"Well lad, what am I going to do with you now?" he asked.

* * *

"Hold still." For the umpteenth time in the last ten minutes, Kronos risked piercing his upper lip with half a dozen safety pins he was holding in his teeth. He tried wrapping the child up in one of his old shirts but it proved to be too large, so he was trying to fix that so the kid didn't slip through it when he picked him up. However he had since woken up and wouldn't stop squirming around, by the time Kronos finished pinning the shirt together and picked the baby up, he realized that it almost looked like a baby straitjacket.

"How the hell did that happen?" he asked himself.

He laid the baby back on the table and set about redoing it when there was an urgent knocking on the door.

"Don't go anywhere," he said to the baby and he headed to the door.

He opened the door and standing outside was a young woman.

"Emily, what is it?"

27 year old Emily Ryan who loved 3 apartments away stepped in looking like she'd seen a ghost. "I need to use your phone and call the police."

"Police?"

"I just got home and somebody had broken in."

"Hold on, stay here."

"You can't go over there, what if he's still there?" Emily asked.

"Don't worry, just stay here, I'll be right back."

He shut the door behind him and went over to Emily's apartment, the front door had been busted in, he stepped in and saw somebody had made quick work of the place. Kronos walked over to the phone and picked it up, it was dead, then he realized there was something wrong with the cord, so he traced it to the source of the wall and found the wire had been cut. He went to the bedroom and threw together a few things and took them back to his apartment.

"Looks like you'll be staying here a while," he told her.

By this time, Emily had discovered the baby, "Oh my God, he's beautiful, is he yours?"

Kronos laughed, "No, I found him."

"What do you mean you found him?"

"I mean," this was harder to say than he thought it was, "I found him in a trash can in the back alley."

"Oh my God," she said as she picked him up and held him in her arms, "Who would do such a thing to such a beautiful baby boy?"

"I don't know but if I ever find out, I'll kill them."

"You know," Emily said as she looked him over, "I'm familiar with every single 'missing' poster at the post office, and there haven't been any for any babies missing."

"So clearly he wasn't kidnapped," Kronos said, "I guess I keep him now."

"That's probably for the best," she said as she stroked the baby's head, "You could take good care of him…him, we can't just keep calling the baby 'him'. Have you thought of a name yet?"

"Not really…" he thought for a moment and he came up with something, "What about Richard?"

"Richard?"

"Yeah, after an old business partner of mine, Richard Krupp." By old he meant late 1920s and by business partner he meant partner in crime: bootlegging, blackmail, assassination, the works. However that was a business that quickly went out the window when both of them got filled with bullets from the police's machine guns.

"It does have potential, but," Emily said as she looked the baby over again, "Richard sounds like an old man's name…what about Richie? That way he could use Richard when he gets older."

"Sounds as good a name as any."

"Then it's official," Emily said as she looked at the baby, "You are hereby christened Richie…but now what about a last name? He could take yours."

The name he was currently using for this lifetime was Archangelo Zamora, a bad decision made after a night of too much drinking but he was stuck with it until he died publicly, and he wouldn't curse the children of his worst enemy with a surname of that sort.

"We'll have to see about it," he said.

Kronos took the baby while Emily went to call the police. A couple weeks ago her son of a bitch bastard husband had taken off, as he had been doing many times lately, leaving her by herself. Now until she could get the locks changed, the door replaced, the phone working, and maybe a gun incase they tried again, she'd be staying with him and he wouldn't take no for an answer. Somewhere in the last century he'd gone real soft and he'd hate himself for it right now but that was a hard deed to accomplish with 25 pounds of a giggling, squirming baby in his arms.

"Well kid," he said, "Looks like we're stuck together for a while."

* * *

The police came and took Emily's report and set about investigating the apartment for anything that might've been left by the intruders. A couple hours later the commotion had died down and the gumshoes had gone, leaving the three of them alone for a while. Kronos had gone to unpack Emily's things in the bedroom, he wouldn't have her stay on the couch, while Emily kept a restless baby Richie occupied.

"You know," she called to the bedroom, "If Richie's going to be staying here, he's going to be needing a few things, for one thing some clothes that actually fit."

"Funny."

Richie started grunting and kicking so Emily put him down and he wandered off to the bathroom.

"I just can't figure out why anybody would throw him away," Emily said, "He's such a good baby, granted he's a little small."

"Can't talk either," Kronos said as he came out and sat down beside her on the couch, "The only thing I can figure is he must've been living with somebody who was absolutely insane, and they maybe thought he was retarded so decided to get rid of him."

"How old would you reckon he is?" Emily asked.

"I don't know, maybe year and a half, maybe more, not quite two I'd stake my life on that."

"Well, ain't too late."

"For what?" Kronos asked.

"For him to learn to talk…I read in a medical report that children can learn to speak so long as they start learning before puberty, and I don't think Richie has to worry about that for quite some time."

"Agreed."

Richie came back to the living room and came around to the couch and climbed up in between the two of them.

They'd gone out earlier in the day and gotten some things that they'd need for Richie and some food for dinner, however it had been over 60 years since Kronos had to take care of any babies so he was trying to figure out what to feed him. Emily got Richie to open his mouth so she could take a look.

"His teeth seem to be coming in just fine, just remember, soft stuff, nothing with bones, no potato chips, and no steak either," she told Kronos.

"You're just full of them today, aren't you?" he asked.

She ignored him and resumed rocking Richie in her arms, "He's adorable, I wish I could have a son like him."

A couple weeks ago Emily had found out from her doctor that she was completely sterile and stood no chance of ever having children. That had hurt her, but to add insult to injury, when her husband Jack Ryan had found out, he'd walked out on her later the same night. Kronos knew this for 2 reasons, 1, that's how thin the walls to their apartments were, and 2, after Jack left, Emily came over crying and wanting some company so she could calm down. Kronos swore when and if this man ever returned, he'd kill him, women like Emily were few and far between these days, she had a natural charm and inebriating love about her, qualities he hadn't seen since his own wife, Jezebel, and the women of this sort who remained today deserved to be treated with the best, not like this.

"Well, Richie," Emily said, "I guess we better start on dinner."

"Emily, you know if Jack doesn't come back, you can stay here."

"I know, and I appreciate the offer, Angelo, but I don't want to be a bother."

"You aren't."

"Jack won't give me a divorce."

"Does he have life insurance?"

"Yes, why?"

"If you have a copy of the policy, I think I'd like to see it later."

"Okay," Emily set Richie on the kitchen counter, "Now don't move."

"Do you really think he understands what you're saying?" Kronos asked.

"I think he can understand very well," Emily said, "I think children are a lot smarter than we give them credit for."

Kronos looked over at Richie, "Yeah, you may be right." But he wasn't sure, throughout the day Richie gave no indication that he could even hear the people talking around him.

"Don't be so sure of anything yet, Angelo," she said, "Maybe nobody ever talked _to_ him before…maybe he never had a name, it's going to take some time for him to get used to being called Richie."

"Yeah, I suppose so," Kronos said as he picked Richie up.

Richie put his arms around Kronos' neck and rested his head on his shoulder and closed his eyes.

* * *

A week passed, during which time Emily worked every day trying to get Richie to start talking, sometime through it all she made progress, he started being able to make words, but little more than anything with more than one syllable, but it was a start. One morning she wore him out trying to get him to say daddy, but finally it sounded like Richie got it, but when Kronos entered the room, Emily told Richie to say daddy again, Richie only grunted and grabbed onto her arm and buried his face in her blouse.

"Give him a break, Emily…you've had him going day and night for six days now."

"Yeah I suppose you're right…can you watch him for a while?"

"Sure."

Emily headed into the bedroom and closed the door behind her, Kronos went over to the couch and picked Richie up.

"That's allright, Richie, you don't have to call me anything you don't feel like."

Richie resumed a favorite position of his of wrapping his arms around Kronos' neck and resting against his shoulder, and as he did so he let out a low and much struggled with, "Daddy."

"What?" That struck Kronos as a genuine shock, he looked at the boy and said, "You're taking after your mother I see, everybody's a comedian…come here." Kronos kissed Richie on the crown of his head and Richie shook his head wildly.

There was a knock at the door, Kronos opened it and lo and behold there stood Jack Ryan, a man wanted for dead, he just didn't know it yet.

"Is my wife here?" he demanded to know.

"And you are?"

"Don't try that with me, I know she's here, she ain't at home, so she's here, now where is she?"

There was something to the man that Richie seemed to be able to sense, he quickly grew uneasy and started squirming in Kronos' hold, "Daddy…"

"Come here, Richie," Kronos went over to the couch and put Richie down, "You stay here, okay?"

Richie nodded and sat down. Kronos went back over to the door, "Would you care to explain where you've been for the last three weeks, you bastard?"

"I don't have to explain anything to you," he replied.

Kronos grabbed him and put Jack Ryan into a headlock and an arm lock, "Oh but I think you do. Emily's been a real mess since you walked out, now the way I see it you can help her a lot by doing one of two things, you can either give her the divorce and half of everything you own and never come back, or you can drop dead and rot."

A wide eyed Richie watched from his place on the couch, "Daddy…"

The bedroom door opened and Emily came out to see what the commotion was, while she was in the bedroom she had changed her clothes and when she came out, her shirt was only half buttoned.

"Angelo what's going on…Jack."

The suddenness of her appearance surprised them both, but for different reasons, during which Kronos lost his hold on him and Jack got over to her.

"I see what's going on now, you've been coming over here every time I've gone out, screwing with this third world monkey!"

"No I haven't!" Emily argued as she started backing away.

"Mama!" Richie called from over on the couch.

Six eyes looked towards him, and then went back to the persons in front of them.

"Mama? I get it now," Jack said, "You made up that cock and bull story about being sterile, so you wouldn't have to explain having that bastard kid with this gorilla!"

Emily continued to deny his accusations while backing away, during this time Richie stumbled off of the couch and went over to Emily and stood beside her. Kronos jerked Jack back and hit him, he retaliated by knocking Kronos in the jaw, then turning around and beating Emily across the face.

"No!" Richie charged at the man and hit him in the thigh with his tiny fists, and when that didn't seem to do much good, Richie bit him. Jack slapped Richie and sent him across the floor, the child came to an abrupt stop and cried and bawled at the top of his lungs.

"That does it, that does it!" Kronos got a hold of Jack by the back of his neck. "Emily," he told her, "Get Richie and go into the bedroom and shut the door, don't come out until I come back."

Emily nodded nervously and picked up the sobbing child and dashed into the bedroom, meanwhile Kronos jerked Jack Ryan out of the apartment and over towards the stairs.

"Emily's going to be a happily wealthy widow after this," Kronos said.

"What in the hell are you talking about?"

"I went over your life insurance, in it you had a double indemnity put in, meaning after I'm through with you, she's going to come into a good fortune, and if you don't die I'll have a hell of a time trying."

The two men fought like hell each trying to outdo the other, after landing near a dozen blows and kicks to vital parts of Jack Ryan's body, Kronos got him in a choke hold and backed him up to the top of the stairs and when he let go of his neck he delivered one good strong kick to his ribs and sent him rolling down two flights. After that was over, he returned to the apartment and found Emily and Richie in the kitchen, when Emily heard him approach, she picked up a large knife she had placed near her.

"It's allright, it's over."

"Is he dead?" she asked.

"If he isn't, he'll wish he was," Kronos neared them and saw Emily was trying to ice down Richie's mouth.

Richie was still crying and with good reason as a result of his actions, he had a bloody scrape on his forehead and his mouth was swollen from hitting the floor. Emily had wrapped some ice in a dishcloth and was trying to keep it on his mouth, but with much difficulty.

"Here, give him to me, I'll have a look at him." Kronos took the child in his arms and kissed him on each cheek and on his forehead, careful to miss the scrape. "How hard did he get you?" he asked Emily.

"I'll live."

He got a better look and saw he'd cut her lip when he'd hit her, little else seemed to be damaged.

"I…I didn't lie about not being able to have children, Angelo."

"I know."

"I don't know what's gotten into him," she said, "This is not the man I married."

"I know, I'm sorry you've had to go through this," Kronos told her.

Richie became louder in his cries and both Kronos and Emily set back to trying to calm him down.

* * *

Jack Ryan lived, instead of giving Emily the divorce, he left town again, this time most likely forever. It didn't matter much, she was just glad to be free of him. She moved back to her apartment and stayed there for the next year and a half, though she was a frequent visitor to "Archangelo" and Richie, as they were with her.

Richie learned to talk as well as any other child, he grew but he still wasn't quite up to par with the size of a normal boy his age. One night Kronos gathered up Richie and took them both over to Emily's apartment, it was late and Richie was falling asleep so he got settled on the couch while they spoke in private in the kitchen.

"Something's come up," Kronos said, "I have to go away for a while."

"Is something the matter?" Emily asked.

"I don't know yet, but I'll be gone for a while, maybe a year or so…and where I'm going, I…well I can't take Richie with me."

"So you want me to watch him for you," she said.

"Sort of…actually I'm arranging it for you to become his foster mother."

"His what?" Emily asked.

"It's something they do with kids who have no parents, it's sort of a temporary adoption and the government sends money to the parents once a month to ensure they can financially care for the children."

"I know what it is, but why?"

"Emily, Richie needs a mother."

"He needs a father too."

"Children can survive without fathers, they can turn out fine without them and these days a lot of them do, but they need mothers more than anything, believe me I know. And I've done well this past year and a half with Richie but I'm not cut out to be a father, especially not to him…you've got a golden touch with him, Emily, I can tell, he needs you."

She didn't say anything for a while and Kronos thought she might order him out of her home, but instead she asked, "When do you leave?"

"Tonight, I've had it taken care of that you just need to pass a few interviews by their sociologists and psychiatrists and ask you a few questions, and Richie's yours."

"Does he know?"

"No."

"Then you're going to be the one to tell him before you leave."

"I know," Kronos replied as he got up from the table, "And believe me, this is going to be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do."

Kronos went into the living room and shook Richie's shoulder, "Richie, wake up."

Two baby blue eyes flew open and Richie got up and said, "Good morning."

"Richie, it isn't morning."

"Oh," Richie laid back down.

"Richie, get up, I need you to listen to what I have to tell you, it's important."

"Okay, Daddy," Richie said as he sat up.

"I have to go away for a while, and I hate to say it, but I can't take you with me, so until I come back, I need you to stay here with your mother, do you understand?"

Richie nodded.

"Good."

"You'll come back?"

"I swear," Kronos picked him up and kissed him and told Richie he loved him. Richie responded by kissing him and replying, "Love you, Daddy."

Kronos hated prying the tiny fingers off but he did and he looked at Richie and he told him, "You be good, don't give your mother any trouble, understand?"

"Yes."

"Good, goodbye, Richie."

"Bye, Daddy, come back soon."

Kronos smiled at him right before he walked out the door, "As soon as I can." He tipped his hat to Emily and bid her goodbye also before slipping out the door.

* * *

"Oh my God, Kronos," Methos couldn't believe what he'd just heard. "I had no idea."

"Yes, I know, hard to believe that I, the end of time, the end to all life I encounter, could be the original father to that beloved child of which that pain in the ass MacLeod has been bouncing him as well as his emotions, up down and across like a ping pong ball. If I weren't dead already I'd kill him for it."

"For what?"

"For everything, I loved Richie, I still do, and nothing would give me greater pleasure than to give MacLeod what he's got coming to him for the way he's treated Richie over the years."

"Oh Kronos…"

"Imagine my surprise when I first entered his head and found out that the sweet child I loved as my own, had become his student. THAT is an irony of fate."

"What happened to Richie?"

"When I came back, it was too late, poor Emily had already died of brain hemorrhage, and by that time Richie had been shuffled off somewhere in the state tied up in foster care, I looked for him for the longest time trying to find a lead…but I found absolutely nothing and don't think I didn't look to the end of all possibilities…I couldn't find him…that killed me, Methos."

This was the first time in the night that Methos saw anger in his brother, and the first time in a long time that he wasn't angry because of Methos.

"Kronos I'm sorry," was all Methos could say as he wrapped his arms around his brother.

"You didn't do anything…after a while of nothing but dead ends, I gave up and got out of there."

"And then what happened?"

"Then…then I met my last wife…her name was Pandora, she was a streetwalker in Paris, she was something…"

* * *

Kronos couldn't believe what he saw. This was the coldest night of the year when anybody sensible would be inside out of the cold and the wind. That certainly said plenty about himself, but on the street corner ahead was a woman who paced back and forth, trying to ignore the cold. She wore a long trenchcoat but it was open, revealing a short skirt and a very low cut blouse. No doubt what she did for a living, and no doubt why she was out here tonight.

Damned be the man who sent her out on a night like this, Kronos thought as he walked up to her. Before she could turn around, he grabbed her by the arm and asked her how much she charged for a full night.

"Three hundred." He could tell she was an American and hadn't got accustomed to the way things were converted here, so she was hoping he understood what she meant. He did, and he pulled her along as he walked to the nearest hotel, he took the money out of his pocket and not finding a good place to put it he stuck it in her coat pocket.

"Close your coat," he told her.

After a few minutes they reached a place to stay, they went in and Kronos got them a room on the second floor. Already he could determine a 60 degree increase in the temperature in here than outside. They reached their room and he shut the door behind them, and the woman who told him her name was Pandora, removed her coat and threw it on the bed.

"Well, what do you want?" she asked.

He looked at her for the longest time, he circled her several times, taking in everything before him. Her skirt went no longer than he estimated six inches, her top in addition to being low cut in the front was for the most, also had the top half of the back missing, except for a few flimsy laces tied in knots. Despite being out of the cold, gooseflesh had formed all over her body and showed no signs of leaving any time soon. Her face was painted almost to that of a carnival performer, blue on the eyelids, black on the eyelashes that made them look like a couple of spiders, red on the mouth, pink on the cheeks, in addition to some sort of 'flesh toned' makeup spread all over her face but was clearly fake. Her hair was half stiff from being done up to look appealing to clients, he ran a hand through it, or rather tried to. He didn't know what women were putting in their hair these days to make it stay in place but he figured they could put together space shuttles with the same stuff.

He also took in the shining glitter on her breasts and under her arms, as well as a very foul odor. Women's perfume was often credited to smelling heavenly, whoever came up with that idea should've been drug out into the street and shot, smelled to high heaven would've been a more honest approach. He'd seen enough women of this profession, especially in more recent years to know that more or less they all went through this hellish ordeal all for the sake of 'hooking' a customer. Why that was, he couldn't figure out for the life of him.

"Well?" she asked, "What do you want me to do?"

He smiled at her and then without warning gave her a firm shove back, towards the bathroom door. "Go take a shower," he said, "If I'm going to do anything with you, it's not going to be with you looking like a side show freak."

She looked hurt for a minute, "What?"

"Look at yourself, face painted like a minstrel jester, a petrified head of hair, no…" he dropped his hand to her chest and gave her an idea of what was soon to come, "If I'm going to make love to you, it's going to be with you looking like a woman. That's where the beauty lies, in natural looking women, and I've yet to see one natural whose face wears more colors than the Romanian flag."

Pandora laughed nervously and said, "Okay." She slipped into the bathroom only to pop her head out the door a second later and ask him if he cared to join her.

"Go on," he shooed her, "I'll be ready when you come back out."

"Okay."

"Wait a minute."

"What is it?" she asked.

"Throw your clothes out here…when you do come back out I want to see what you really look like, though what you wear leaves little to guess."

He had a good idea of what was going through her mind. She was wondering what the hell she'd gotten herself into, but he'd already paid for her for the night so it was his game. And he knew when she came back out, she would be in for a surprise. She opened the door a couple of inches and kicked out her top and her skirt, Kronos picked them up and called into the bathroom, "Anything else in there?"

She handed him her panties, he threw them onto the bed with the rest of her clothes and said to her, "I don't want you coming out of there until there's not a trace of that gunk left to look at, understand?"

"Yes."

Half an hour later she had finished and opened the door a crack and said, "You sure you don't want to turn off the lights first?"

"Get out here," he said, "I want to see you."

She opened the door and slowly walked out, naked as the day she was born. Kronos stared on in awe from where he lay on the bed. While she had been bathing, he'd removed his own clothes and put them with hers, the only thing between him and her eyes was the covers to the bed. She opened her mouth once and started to speak, but she couldn't do it, she wanted to ask him if she looked allright, if he liked the way she looked, but she was too afraid to say anything.

"Come here," he said, "Let me take a better look at you."

She nervously went over to the bed, waiting to hear something was wrong, he took her hands and looked her up and down, and he said only one thing, "Beautiful."

"You really think so?" she asked.

"Yes, oh yes." With that he pulled her onto the bed and the two rolled around getting on top of each other and pinning the other down.

He pinned her underneath him and held her wrists high above her head and caught her in a kiss, one that lasted until they almost died from asphyxiation, but it was well worth the risk.

When Kronos rolled back over to his side of the bed, Pandora grabbed at the sheets on her side and pulled them up to cover herself with. Such was not how business usually went and she was nervous she might get in trouble if she didn't do something soon, so she leaned over towards him and said, "Well, what do you want?"

He smiled at her and pulled her close to him and he ran a hand through her hair, relieved that it actually moved this time, then he moved his hand and stroked her cheek and he said to her, "I already have that."

* * *

It was morning, he looked out the window and saw it was still pitch dark and a rain was beating down against the window. Rain, that would turn to ice in no time as cold as it was. He turned over on his side of the bed and saw Pandora was still asleep, he had recalled the events of last night, she had done a terrific job where he was concerned, and if the sounds she had made last night were any indicator, he'd known well what he was doing too. He leaned over and kissed her between her shoulder blades, and it was then that he noticed something. Carefully pulling the sheets down so she didn't wake, Kronos saw the reason she had suggested putting out the lights last night. Her lower back was covered in scars, long dark pink scars, and Kronos could guess very well what caused them.

He put the sheet back where it had been and rolled over onto his own side, and he started planning. A short while later he heard her stir and she rolled onto her side and looked over at him. "Was it good?"

He almost laughed, she tried to hide it but he knew she was nervous. He reached over and put a hand to her cheek and moved it down to her neck, down to her chest, and stopped just below her stomach, and he kissed her. "Nonpareil," he told her. Then he rolled with her so she was on top of him, and he let his hands start roaming. She grabbed them before they could make contact with the scars on her back and tried to move them to a couple of more appealing places. But Kronos wasn't interested, he pulled her down to him and kissed her again while keeping his hands pinned to her shoulder blades.

After a while, Pandora tired and rolled away, only then she realized her mistake. Kronos saw her eyes get wide as it hit her that he saw, he knew, but before she could do or say anything, he kissed her and after a moment he suggested they both clean up since they would be leaving soon. When she made no attempt to move from laying flat in bed, he grabbed her and picked her up and carried her in his arms to the bathroom.

"I'd like to know why you're so damned worried about those scars on your back," he said as he put her down in the bathtub and turned on the water, "You think I worry about people seeing this?" he pointed to the scar on his face.

She shook her head. "So relax," he told her.

He slipped into the tub with her, "Mind if I join you?"

"You paid for me."

"That's not what I asked."

"No."

He picked up a bar of soap and started on her back, and he asked her how old she was.

"How old do you want me to be?"

"I'm not a lawyer, I want the truth."

She hesitated for a minute, "Twenty-three."

He reached her lower back and she flinched, he straight out asked her, "Who did that to you?"

"What does it matter?" she asked as she turned off the taps.

He grabbed her arm and forced her to turn around and see him. "Because I love you and I want to know." She stared at him in disbelief. "You think I'm kidding? I'm not kidding, Pandora, I love you."

"Well, you won't love me so much when you find out what I've done."

Kronos gathered her in his arms and held her close, "Just relax and tell me what you think is so awful that it'll change what I just said."

She told him, he admired her courage to admit to him the horrors that had been her life in recent years. She told him that she had been traveling through Istanbul a few years ago when she was arrested and thrown into a God forsaken jail that wasn't fit for cockroaches to live in. Then she was taken to court on charges of which she had never heard of and certainly had no part in committing, but nothing she or her attorney said had meant anything so she had been sentenced to 15 years in prison. The prison proved to be worse than the jail, beatings came on a daily basis, as did attempted rape by the guards. Some of the women managed to fight off the guards but she hadn't been so lucky, when she resisted and fought, they beat her on the back with a bullwhip, other times they wrapped it around her neck so she couldn't try and get away.

After a few years of this on a daily basis, and Kronos found it a damn wonder she hadn't gone completely insane before that, somebody, a man she didn't know and had never seen before, broke her out of the prison and gotten them to Paris. It had been under one condition, she was his personal property, he would do to her whatever he pleased at any time, and he was also the one who sent her out on the streets every night looking for some paying customers. If she refused, or tried to get help, he would take her back to Turkey and throw her to the prison guards. She hated herself for not leaving him but she had no choice.

"Now you know," she said.

"Where is he?" Kronos asked.

"At home, he's expecting me back by 8."

Kronos looked at the clock on the wall, it was already a quarter to 7.

"What's going through that head of yours?" Pandora asked.

"Nothing," he said, "now turn around."

He finished washing her, then he washed himself, then once both had gotten back into their clothes, Kronos grabbed Pandora by the shoulders, and once he had her attention, he asked for a minute of sentimentality, then he asked her to go away with him, to let him take her away from the life she'd been stuck with. She insisted that she simply couldn't leave him, but he proposed a plan to her that she just couldn't turn down. They would head to the airport and board the first plane heading out of the country, from there they would make their way to Italy.

However, before they did that, Kronos told Pandora to stay at the hotel for a while. It was the dead of winter and even with her coat she'd freeze to near death in the clothes she had with her…and truth be told, Italy wasn't known for being too much better. She couldn't go back to her house to get any other clothes, so he went to get her some that could actually keep her warm. That was the first thing he did, the second thing he did was find the house where the man who broke her out of prison lived. After she fell asleep last night, he looked through her things trying to find out who she was working for because no woman in the business by herself would've been out last night, at least none that he could think of.

He found an address written down with no phone number and no name, not to his surprise, it was the same address he'd found with other women he'd picked up and sent off elsewhere. From estimation he guessed that he'd already lost this man 15 'employees' in the last year or so, and this time would definitely be the last time. The winter weather had him chilled to the bone and he also guessed near frostbite if possible, but he finally came upon the house. It was almost 8 o' clock, and he didn't see anyone around, so he went up to the door and slipped in.

There was a man in the next room, he turned around expecting Pandora, but when he saw it was not, he jumped up and said, "Who the hell are you?"

"I," he said as he approached the man, "am the end of time, _your_ time to be exact."

Before the man could do anything, Kronos rammed into his abdomen, a knife that he'd taken a habit of carrying around for the past few years. He watched the life drain out of the man's body, and then once he was clearly dead, Kronos turned around and left.

* * *

Half an hour later he'd gotten back to the hotel with a pair of heavy jeans and a large sweater, and a bra for Pandora to change into. After that they headed to the airport and got on a plane heading to Rome where once there, they got married, that had been in 1978, and for the next 12 years in bliss. Rather the first 8 were spent in bliss, the next 4 were spent in the closest thing to it. After 8 years, Pandora slowed down and was constantly tired, and she had lost a lot of weight, Kronos saw this, he knew something was wrong with her, and he had a good guess that she wouldn't live much longer. At his insistence, she went to the doctor and came back sobbing and hysterical. Sometime, somewhere over the years she had contracted AIDS, and they weren't giving her much longer to live. Later in the day she cried again when to her horror she realized she might have passed it onto him.

He told her not to worry about it, not to even think about it, but she told him, "If I gave it to you, we might die together."

"I wish," he said.

Nothing was going to drive him away from her and he promised her that. For the next 4 years, every morning and night he kissed her and told her he loved in, in between of every day he did that 100 other times, every day for the next 4 years, as he watched her health deteriorate and she grew weaker and weaker. One night she was so sick that he knew she wouldn't live through the night, so he bathed her, dressed her in her favorite gown, put fresh flowers in her hair, and held her all through the night.

"Will you still love me after I'm gone?" she asked.

"Forever," he promised as he kissed her.

Pandora, still in his arms, passed away just as the clock struck 3 in the morning. Kronos kissed her one last time and took her body out, he had bought a large piece of property and knew eventually he'd use some of the extra land for this purpose. He dug a grave and when he was convinced it was deep enough, he laid her out and prayed that the way he saw her now, would be how he best remembered last seeing her, instead of how she would look in a few minutes with the dirt covering her.

After he had buried her and said a prayer though it had been thousands of years since he believed in praying for anything, that she would be happy now and out of pain, he got up and he walked. He didn't know how far or long he walked and he didn't care where he went or where he ended up. Somehow he went on, though from here he thought he was finished getting attached to mortals, but he was wrong.


	22. Chapter 22

It had only been about a month since Pandora died and Kronos was still less than his regular self. Most days he seemed to walk around in a daze not knowing where he was going and not caring. One night he'd gone out to a bar and put away enough drinks to kill a rhinoceros and still he wasn't feeling his usual self. He walked out of the bar and started down a street when he heard something, at first he couldn't make out what it was, but the second time he heard it, it sounded like a woman screaming. He followed the sound and came to the corner of the next street and saw a sight that could sicken even him. At first glance his eyes deceived him into thinking it was Pandora standing before him, but upon a second look he realized it was a young woman, no, a girl, probably no more than 17 he guessed, struggling with a man who had a death grip on her wrist and was trying to force her to go with him

He couldn't make out what they said at first, but he made out a very coherent remark from the girl, "No! I'd rather die!" Very stubborn, he noted, and also he recalled as he was now feeling not quite as pleased with himself, very much like Cassandra had said to him several thousand years ago. Only this girl didn't look like she had any means of escaping, no hope to stab him that was for certain, so he decided to step in.

"Let go of me!" she said as she knocked the man in the jaw, which hurt her more than it helped because he responded by hitting her across the face and tearing open her shirt. She made a feeble attempt to kick him in the groin but it worked and gave her a chance to get away. Unfortunately the man was quicker than she thought and he snatched her back to him and hit her across the face, knocking her out. She fell to the ground and before the man could make another move, Kronos came up to him and thrust a knife into his chest. The man fell to the ground with a gasp of shock and pain and he managed to get out very weakly, "What are you?"

A glare in his eyes thousands of years old but seldom seen in recent centuries returned as he answered, "I am the end of time, _your_ time to be exact."

The man quickly died and Kronos after recollecting his knife, realizing this was going to make quite a sight, took his jacket off and slipped it over the girl's body so her breasts weren't exposed to the public eye, or the cruel night air for that matter. He picked her up and carried her off, after covering a few back alleys he came to the place where he was currently staying. He slipped into the apartment and shut the door behind him and carried the girl over to the bedroom and laid her down and covered her up. Through the whole ordeal she hadn't moved save for her breathing, Kronos smoothed back the bangs that stuck to her forehead and laughed at the irony of it all. This girl, whoever she was, in addition to resembling Pandora, had very distinctive features that bore resemblance to Mary before she died.

"My daughter, even in death you torment me," he said.

After a few minutes the girl stirred and she panicked when she saw him.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you."

"W-where am I?" she asked.

"My place."

"Why am I here?"

"The man you fought with is dead."

"I killed him?"

"No."

"But they'll think I did."

"You can hide out here until they've gone," he told her, "They won't be thinking to check the homes of private residents."

"Thank you," she said as she kept his jacket clutched shut around herself.

He would've laughed if the present situation wasn't so serious, "Come on, I think I can find something else to fit you."

This apartment though it wasn't much and was in a part of town most people did good to stay away from, had been a little retreat he and Pandora had come to over the years when they needed to get away from getting away from it all. They only brought with them once and they never packed when they left, so the closet was still full of her clothes. Convinced he was a damned fool, he knew that by now he'd never be able to get rid of anything left of her. He took out one of her old dresses and for a moment could only remember how she had looked in it, that had been before she was sick. Then he realized that the girl was talking to him. "I'm sorry?"

"Who are you?"

"I might ask you the same thing."

"I'm…I'm Mildred Barnes."

"Graham Korda."

Kronos gave her the dress to put on while he turned around, she found it odd that a man who clearly lived by himself would have women's clothes, and inquired if he was a cross dresser. He laughed and then soberly explained, "They belonged to my wife, she…she died last month."

"I'm terribly sorry."

"Don't be."

"So why did you help me tonight? Is it because I remind you of your wife?" she asked.

"You _do_ remind me of her, but that's not why."

"Why then?"

He turned around to face her, she looked very much like Pandora right now. "I've lived a long time and I have done plenty of things in my life that I should probably be killed for…but of every thing I ever did, I _never_ raped a child."

"But I…"

"Don't try and lie to me, I know that you're not as old as you might say you are. How old are you really?"

"Sixteen."

"And did you know that man?"

She nodded painfully.

"Don't worry, he can't come after you, nobody's going to come after you, I'll see to that."

She groaned, "My head is pounding…I feel like I'm going to die."

He gave her bit more than a suggestive hand in laying down on the bed, "Just go to sleep, you'll be allright."

She tried to protest as he tucked her under the covers but he wasn't having any of it. He left and after a few minutes she was in a dead sleep. Yes, he would protect her as long as she was here, and he had an idea that could be a while.

* * *

A few days passed and the investigation on the man's murder seemed to die down completely, but Mildred still worried if she left on her own again so soon, the police might catch her and try her for murder. So she spent the days up in his apartment telling him about the things she had endured in her home life, and the price it had cost her to get away from it. There was nobody for her to go to, and nowhere in particular for her to escape to, after being on the run for about a month, she was convinced she would die before getting away from everybody who'd like to see her on her back instead of her feet, but still she would prefer that, over being a burden to anybody, including him. Being a widower, something he hadn't been in over a hundred years, he was grateful for the company. 

Mildred stayed with him for a few months, during which time she hardly ever left the apartment, and for a while Kronos wondered if something was the matter with her. Then one day, out of nowhere she told him of a place she'd found out about where she could go and not have to worry about anybody coming after her. It was known as a women's sanctuary, a sort of gated community for women on the run from spouses, family members and uncaught criminals. The living conditions weren't so strict but the options for visitors were, anybody who wasn't written up on record wouldn't be allowed in or to see anyone living there. Right away she informed him that she would put him down as a safe visitor, she also explained that it was only temporary until she was sure she could get away to somewhere where nobody who might be looking for her could find her.

Kronos didn't like the idea but he knew that she hadn't stayed alive as long as she had by listening to what other people told her, so she had to know what she was doing. So the next day she was on her way and Kronos found himself alone again. After a while the apartment got too depressing for him to stay in so he packed his things, and the remainder of Pandora's, and moved where he could be by himself once and for all. He moved to a large empty house a good several miles away from anybody and everybody. That was how he lived for a couple of years, until one night, the irony of fate seemed to have it in for him again.

He'd been out at a bar and put away a few drinks and was walking himself home when he felt a presence nearby. It was a weak one, he determined from that it was a pre-Immortal, but even for that it was still terribly weak. He looked around and couldn't see anybody at first, then he noticed a few people coming out of a dark alley and running off, but the presence remained where it was, so Kronos decided to find out just what they were running away from. There was a very dim light from the street lamps overhead, but he managed to make out the body of somebody lying face down on the ground. As Kronos drew closer to the body, he was able to make out a head of read frizzy hair and he had an idea.

But it couldn't be, he drew closer and closer, he knelt down beside the body that wasn't moving but was still alive, he carefully, oh so carefully rolled the body over onto the back, and he couldn't believe what he saw. The face was a mess of cuts and bruises and blood pouring out everywhere, but through it all he could recognize the face, granted it was now a much older and matured face, but he knew the truth. This was Richie! He'd finally found his son again after 14 years, and now…now he'd gotten the hell beaten out of him. He picked Richie up and the boy never moved or made any indication that he knew what was happening, Kronos got him out of there and back to his home. There, he laid the child down on the bed in the spare bedroom and set to work cleaning him.

Careful not to hurt him, he washed away all the blood that he could without getting rough, and that was a hell of a lot. But now came a harder part to face, he had to undress Richie to see just how far the damage spread, and how severe it was. As he removed his clothes, he started to worry that Richie had faced more than just a beating tonight, but he hoped he was wrong. The jacket and shirt came off, a fine mess of bruises, a few scrapes but little else, so far so good, then off came his jeans and boxers, a few more bruises, but much to Kronos' relief, there was no indication that rape had been an event of the night.

He cleaned his wounds to the best of his ability without causing him any further pain though he honestly didn't know if Richie would be able to moan or scream if he was hurt more. Hopefully he would sleep through the night but he didn't know. He got Richie back into his clothes and only after that did the boy stir, he woke up once but went back to sleep after about a minute. This continued several times during the night, Richie would wake up and not even care about who was there or where he was and he'd go right back to sleep. But Kronos knew come morning, he would most likely be in a panic when he found out where he was. No matter, he could deal with that when it happened, right now he was just glad to have him here where he could protect him.

Looking over the damage done to him, Kronos was disgusted. Richie's face looked like he'd been born with a dozen hair lips, his eyes were blackened around and it spread to his cheeks, his forehead had been scraped wide open and blood and pus was oozing out, and his nose, it was a miracle it wasn't broken but it was still messed up fairly well. There was blood matted in his hair in half dry clumps that Kronos couldn't see getting out short of hacking it to the scalp. No doubt this was going to be a long night and a long recovery, so for the time being, Kronos just sat down beside him and careful not to hurt him, held the boy's hand in his own and covered the top of it with his other. _Well,_ he thought, _you wanted your son back and now here he is._

* * *

3:30 in the morning, Kronos had found Richie about 10 o' clock that night, he hadn't moved in a while but Kronos knew he would soon. He also knew that once Richie was up and around, his injuries would be hurting him like hell, so he decided to give him something to fix that. A good number of years before, he had gotten into a habit of experimenting on mixing drugs together and found quite an unusual concoction of painkillers to put together. Enough opium and opiates to make a rhinoceros numb for a week, he'd experimented on himself for a while but knew he was a more willing and difficult to effect lab rat. 

When Pandora was entering the final stages of her life, some days it hurt her too much to do much of anything, so he'd given some of it to her, it had done the trick for a while, taking the pain away for a few blessed hours so she could continue with what was left of her life. He hoped it would have a similar effect on Richie. Given that he'd mixed the drugs in with a virtually tasteless solution, Richie would never know what he was being given. Kronos was looking for the bottle and had found it when he heard Richie screaming, and he went running to see what had happened.

He stopped at the doorway and saw why Richie was screaming, apparently he had just woken up and found his hands and his shirt covered in blood, fresh blood. Kronos was relieved to find that the source of the boy's panic had only been a nosebleed, but it turned out to be one that lasted for half an hour. Sometime during that ordeal, Richie asked who he was, and he gave Richie the same name he'd given Mildred, Graham Korda, which he was still trying to figure out how the hell he thought of it in the first place. Richie offered his bloody hand, "Nice to meet you, I suppose."

"Might save that for later," Kronos pushed the hand back.

"Sorry."

After the blood flow came to a halt and seemed to have stopped for the night, Richie closed his eyes and Kronos thought he might sleep again. But then Richie's eyes opened again and focused on the blood on his hands and down his chest.

"Maybe you'd like to get cleaned up."

Richie tiredly nodded. Kronos helped him to his feet and led him into the bathroom and turned on the taps to the tub. "Get out of those bloody things, I'll get them cleaned up while you bathe."

"Uh…okay," Richie reluctantly started removing his clothes.

"Don't worry, Richie, you don't have to be afraid of me."

"How…how do you know my name?" he asked.

"You won't believe me…but I used to know you when you were younger."

"Really?"

"Oh sure, you and your mother, Emily."

"You…you knew my mother?"

He could tell this was going to be a hard subject for the boy to talk about, "Oh sure, your mother used to live right across from me in an old apartment complex…they tore it down a long time ago after I moved."

"My…my mother died."

He knew, oh how he knew. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"She…" Richie looked at the floor, "died when I was four."

"Where've you been since?"

"Here, there, nowhere really."

He had figured as much, "So where're you staying now?" Kronos asked.

"Uh……nowhere, really."

"What happened?"

"Well, the guy I'm staying with…he can be real temperamental at times, during which it's better if I stay out of his way but…I didn't…"

"So he hit you."

"Yeah, and…when he quit, I ran away, but the same thing just happened again…these guys…I don't know who they were…they just came at me."

"I know."

"You do?"

"That's how I found you, they came running out of the alley and I saw you beaten to a bloody pulp."

"Oh…" Richie's gaze dropped further to the floor.

Kronos turned off the taps and ordered him to take the rest of his clothes off, throw them outside and get in the tub, while he left the room. After a couple minutes, Richie kicked his clothes out and shut the door, Kronos heard him get in the tub, then he gathered up the clothes and the bloody top sheet from the bed to clean the blood out. After that was done he put the sheet back on the bed and went over to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

"Everything okay?"

"Uh……yeah," Richie replied.

"Mind if I come in?"

"Uh…..sure…"

Youth, Kronos had to laugh, so damned self conscious these days. He walked in with the boy's clothes in hand and Richie had his head down so low that he would risk drowning if the water was any higher.

"I got these ready for you," he said as he put the clothes down on the sink's counter.

Richie muttered a thanks and still wouldn't look up.

"Richie, there's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Yeah, I know…I…I was just thinking."

"What about?"

"I…I knew I should've stayed out of his way last night…but I didn't…but that, that didn't give him a reason to…to…"

Kronos placed a hand on the boy's shoulder as he already knew what was coming next, "It's over, Richie, he can't hurt you now."

For the next half hour, Kronos listened to a tearful confession on Richie's part as he explained over the years since Emily died, just about everybody he lived with made it a habit of beating the hell out of him whenever he did anything that got them mad. Sometimes he didn't even have to do anything and he still got the hell beat out of him.

After a while, Richie seemed oblivious to his surroundings, Kronos drained the tub and wrapped Richie in towel and picked him up out of the tub. Then he took a second towel and draped it over Richie's shoulders and carried him into the bedroom and put him down on the bed. After a while, Richie calmed down and fell asleep, Kronos drew the covers up and carefully picked up Richie's hand and held it between his again.

_My son_, he thought, _my poor child, I should never have left you_.

* * *

Richie fell asleep right before dawn, and he slept clear through until almost one o' clock that afternoon. He woke up once because of the pain he was still in from the beatings, so Kronos gave him a large spoon of the opiate concoction and let it run its course. He slept again until five o' clock when the sun started toward the western direction. Through the entire day, Kronos watched him while he slept, incase he woke up, incase he needed him, incase anything should happen. When Richie woke up this time he seemed more oriented on his surroundings and his present company. He got dressed but laid back down after he finished. 

Kronos fixed him a small dinner and propped him up in bed so he could eat, he ate little but had plenty to ask. As much as he hated not being able to recall the past as it had actually happened, he knew very well that Richie would be hurt more by the truth, so he made sure to twist the details to fit well.

"How did you know it was me?"

"What?"

"The last time you saw me was years ago, you have to admit I've changed since then."

"Yes, but I remember, I'd remember your face anywhere."

"Funny, I don't remember you."

"I don't imagine you would, you were still very little when I last saw you."

"You knew my mother?"

"Oh yes."

"What was she like?"

"Beautiful, nice, charming…and she sure loved you."

"Really?"

"Oh she was crazy about you."

"What about my father, did you know him?"

"No, by the time I met your mother, she seemed to be pretty much on her own with you."

"She ever talk about him?"

"Not too much, I didn't push, I figured if she wanted to talk about him, she would."

"Maybe he left because of me."

"Why would you ever think that, Richie?"

"Very few people have ever stuck around because of me, but plenty have left," he explained.

Kronos leaned in close and kissed him on the forehead and told him, "Well I'm not so easy to get rid of."

A look of insecurity formed on Richie's face, "You serious?"

"If you want to stay, you're welcome to."

Richie laid back and closed his eyes for a minute and then he said, "Thanks, man."

He was getting tired again, he would no doubt be asleep soon again, so Kronos took the dish away and brought the pillows down again.

"Sleep well, Richie, you're safe now." _You're home again_.

* * *

The next day, Richie got up and he looked around the house to find out just what sort of place he'd gotten into. It looked pretty big for a guy living alone, but he was reminded now he was staying here as well, so it seemed to even out a bit more. It took Richie a couple of days to let the feeling sink in that he was actually staying here instead of facing the alternative, but he finally came around. Though it was obvious to Kronos he was still uneasy about trusting a man who though he could remember him and his mother, Richie had no recollection of him. 

That bothered Kronos plenty but he wasn't going to say anything about it, it wasn't Richie's fault what he could and couldn't remember, at least not that far back. With Richie back, Kronos considered a lot of things, one that kept on his mind was the decision of awakening Richie's Immortality. He knew that it had to happen sooner or later and if it happened while he was with him, he'd be allright, but he was well aware that Richie was still very young, too young to be stuck at his age forever, he decided. Still, he kept a close eye on Richie, the boy appreciated the privacy he was given, but every night still, Kronos still watched him while he slept. That was a gradually decreasing occurrence, first he'd stay and watch Richie all night, then after a while he stayed and watched him for part of the night, finally it came down to just checking on Richie once he seemed to be asleep.

One night a strong storm had come up, the rain was pouring down in sheets, the lightning lit up the whole town as bright as daylight, and the wind was howling to a point it almost seemed to scream. This was a night in particular Kronos especially wanted to make sure Richie was allright, especially since his bed was near the windows. He opened the door and stuck his head in and Richie was asleep, apparently the storm wasn't giving him any trouble. So he shut the door and headed off to his own room, but that wasn't the end of it. Sometime during the night, Kronos heard an exceptionally loud noise directing from the vicinity of Richie's room, what it was he couldn't tell at first, but as soon as he'd heard it he was out of bed and across the hall.

He threw the door open and turned on the light and found Richie lying on the floor wide eyed and in shock. A large and bulky tree branch had crashed through the window and pinned the mattress down on the bed. Kronos walked over to Richie and pulled him to his feet and hugged the boy close to him and kissed him, thankful that he wasn't killed.

"Are you allright, Richie?"

"Y-yeah, I think so."

"Good, come on, let's get out of here." He led Richie over to his own room and got them settled there for the remainder of the night.

"Looks like you're stuck spending the night with me," he said.

Richie didn't say anything, he just looked around the room, he'd been in it plenty of times before but this was the first time in which he'd be having to sleep in the same bed with him. It took Kronos a while to convince Richie that he was on the level, but finally Richie slipped into the right side, Kronos took the left, and that was that.

* * *

Richie didn't wake up the next morning, but Kronos decided to let him sleep since it had been a rough night. He took care of getting the tree branch out of the room and getting the window replaced and what could be found of the last window gotten rid of. After that he returned to his own bedroom and found Richie still in the bed, he went to wake him up but Richie just turned on his side and kept his eyes closed. Now Richie was certainly nobody to rise at the crack of dawn, but this was getting late even for him. 

"What's the matter, Richie, aren't you feeling well?"

Richie grunted and gestured to his throat and went back to sleep. Well this was a first in a long time, Kronos couldn't remember the last time he took care of a sick child, but no matter, it didn't appear to be anything life threatening so he didn't think he could screw up _too_ badly. He moved Richie over to the middle of the bed and covered him up and let him sleep for what turned out to be the rest of the day and most of the afternoon.

He woke up just as the sun was going down and felt sick but still managed to eat a small dinner. He couldn't give many details to what was wrong with him other than he felt like hell and was still tired. Kronos got him out of bed and walking around for a little while but Richie's fatigue proved to be no exaggeration on Richie's part, so Kronos put him back to bed where he stayed, and slept but not peacefully, until the next morning.

This repeated every day for the next week, Richie never worsened but he hardly improved with the passing days. Richie slept from morning till afternoon and from night until the next day, Kronos had to wake him up several times in the day to get him to drink so as not to add to his illness by dehydration. For a while Kronos contemplated killing Richie and making him Immortal just to end his suffering, but he knew Richie wasn't ready for that yet. More time passed and Richie returned more to his usual self, every day and every night Kronos watched him close, as if trying to memorize every last line and detail that made up his son.

His son, he was still trying to get used to the fact that the child he found abandoned and took with him all those years ago, was here again now, grown up a bit more but the same child all the same. He fell asleep that night watching him, and he woke up alone, and it scared the hell out of him. Kronos jumped out of bed and found Richie in the kitchen who explained that try as he might, he couldn't wake him up. Kronos laughed, it would've been funny if it weren't so serious, he'd worn himself out looking after Richie, to the point that anything could've happened to his precious child, and he wouldn't have known. Finally it seemed Richie was better, for which he was glad, but not long after, things took another turn.

* * *

One night Richie announced he was going out and commented that he might not be back until the next morning, so not to wait up and worry about him. Of course Kronos did anyway, but the night passed and nothing happened, then the day passed and nothing happened…Richie didn't return until the afternoon and he wouldn't say much about what had happened, but Kronos noted he was pretty badly shaken up over something. Later Kronos found out that Richie had been arrested that night for breaking into an antique shop, but the details were vague and he couldn't have cared less about what happened, but after he found out, he and Richie had a confrontation. 

"What did I do?" Richie asked, panic in his voice though he tried to hide it.

"Why didn't you tell me you were arrested?"

"I…"

"I'm waiting, Richie, why didn't you tell me? I would've come down and gotten you."

"Yeah, but…"

"What is it?"

That seemed to be the breaking point in Richie, Kronos was shocked to see the obvious pain in Richie's eyes as a stray tear rolled down the side of his face. "I didn't want to bother you."

"What?" he couldn't believe what he heard.

"Anybody else I've stayed with would've said it was more than I deserved."

"I don't believe I'm hearing this!" Kronos stepped towards him, "Do you really think?"

Before he could finish his question, or get over to Richie, something happened, Kronos watched in disbelief as the boy dropped to his knees and closed his eyes and placed his hands protectively on the sides of his head, as if trying to defend himself against a hard blow. Kronos grabbed him by his shoulders and pulled him back to his feet though Richie resisted and tried to get away.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry," he said.

Kronos put his arms around Richie and held him close. Damn those who did this to his son, this was not the same child he left 14 years ago.

"I'm not angry at you, Richie," he told him, "I just want to know why you didn't tell me."

Richie worked himself up to try and explain, "I didn't want to have to tell you, I didn't want to bother you. I've been in trouble with them before and I've been able to get off with warnings…the guy didn't press charges anyway, so it's like nothing happened…I figured if I didn't, then there wouldn't be any trouble."

"And suppose you hadn't gotten off and were instead locked up, what then?"

"Well…it's not like you're my father or anything…if I didn't come home, it'd be that less trouble for you."

Now that was a real knife in the heart. Kronos bit his tongue on that one so hard he thought he'd swallow half of it.

"Richie, you have never been trouble."

"You're just saying that 'cuz you haven't had to put up with me all my life."

That was true, he didn't, but he would've loved to.

"I'm sorry, man," Richie said.

"Forget about it, I'm just glad you're allright."

Richie was relieved that he didn't inquire about what he did to get arrested, though he was curious as to why, but he wasn't going to push his luck. That night when Richie was in bed, Kronos checked in on him to make sure he was allright. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully, but he had been a genuine wreck earlier in the night after their little conversation. He walked over to the bed and kissed Richie on his forehead.

"Goodnight my son, I love you," he said.

Richie never moved, never did anything to let on that he heard anything Kronos said. He was enjoying having Richie here for the time being, but he knew that it wouldn't last. Nothing good ever did, this he knew all too well. Soon, Richie would leave him to start his own life…there was no denying this, he just planned to make sure Richie stayed alive long enough to see it. It didn't matter though, how long you were a parent, or how many times, or how old you got, or how the times changed, it always hurt letting go of the kid you loved. This he knew, and also knew that Richie would pick a time to leave, much sooner than he would be comfortable with, but it was what had to be done.

* * *

The time came a few days later when Richie came home one afternoon and immediately seemed uneasy about something. Kronos asked him what the matter was, Richie explained that he didn't want him mad at him, or upset, at what he was about to say. 

"Well whatever it is, come on and say it already," Kronos said.

"Uh…some friends of mine have invited me to move in with them, and, I think that would be the best thing for me to do."

He had seen this coming, it didn't hurt him any less, but he knew that if he forced Richie to do something against his will, he'd never forgive him. So as much as it hurt to let him go, he knew he had to.

"I knew this day was coming, I just didn't know it'd be this soon."

"I'm sorry," Richie said.

"There's nothing to be sorry about," he replied, "You can't help feeling what you do. If it's what you want to do, I'm not going to stop you, it's your life and you're entitled to do with it what you want. I'm just glad that I've gotten to see you again before this."

Neither one would say it but they both knew that they wouldn't be seeing each other again.

"Thanks for everything you've done, man, I mean I know I didn't make it easy having me around all this time," Richie said.

"Don't mention it, I was just glad to have you here," he replied, "When do you leave?"

"Well actually, I thought right away would be a good idea."

Kronos didn't argue with him, he followed Richie to his room and talked with him while he gathered up the few things that belonged to him. Richie wanted to get away quickly before it became an emotional scene, but before he could leave, Kronos pulled the boy to him, kissed him on the forehead and told him he loved him. Richie didn't know how to respond to that so he muttered a quick goodbye, turned around and left.

That had been the end of that, and Kronos only hoped that wherever it was that Richie went, he would be okay.

* * *

After that he didn't feel much like being around other people so he kept to himself for a long time. About a year went by and he decided to look up Mildred at the sanctuary she'd told him about. 12 hours it took him to arrive, once there he found his name was on a list of visitors allowed and found out she was staying on a room on the third floor. He went up and knocked on the door, wondering what he would find. 

"Who is it?" he heard from the room.

"It's Graham," he answered.

"Come on in, the door's open," she called.

He went in and found her sitting at a table in the middle of the room, even with three years gone by, she still looked as beautiful as ever, if not a bit older.

"How've you been?" she asked.

"I should be asking you that…it's been a while."

"Three years."

"I know, I should've come sooner," he said.

"That would've been nice," she responded.

He shut the door and walked in a bit further, "You mad?"

"Naa," she replied, "Are you?"

"No."

"I think you will be within time," she replied.

"Why do you say that?" he laughed.

"Well, I've been up to a few things since you last saw me," she said.

"Like what?"

Mildred moved her chair back and stood up, revealing a pregnant stomach, and Kronos for the first time in as long as he could remember, fainted.

* * *

When he came back around he found that Mildred had dragged him from the floor and put him on the bed, and she was slapping him trying to wake him up. 

"What happened?" he asked.

"You passed out."

"I figured as much…I mean," he pulled himself up to look at her again.

He couldn't believe it, he saw it right in front of him but he still couldn't believe what he saw. "I mean, I know _how_ this happened, but why?"

"It wasn't planned," she said.

"That's not unusual," he said, "Where's the man responsible?"

She looked towards the ground, ashamed, "I don't know."

"You mean he ran out on you when you got pregnant."

She shook her head, "He ran out on me _before_ I got pregnant."

"What?"

She walked over to the bed, delaying as if to collect the words needed to answer him and explain herself, and she sat down next to him, and tried to explain. "I knew him for about five months, we went out a few times, and he seemed nice, I mean genuinely nice. Sex was never a topic brought up between us…and I trusted him so I put him down on the visitors' list so he could come up…One night we went out and we had a couple of drinks, after dinner I wasn't feeling well so he brought me back here, and once we got in, I started to sort of black out. The last thing I remember from that night was him standing over me as I hit, the floor or the bed, I don't remember…and when I woke up the next day, he was gone and I was…after that, I tried to forget what I could remember of what happened…but after a couple of months I started feeling sick, so I went to the doctor and…"

"How long ago was this?" he asked.

"Six months ago," she answered.

Eight months pregnant, a regular pregnancy lasted 9 months though the estimated date of the birth was wrong almost every time. Some babies came early and some came late, meaning she could be going into labor anytime between now and two months from now.

"And you haven't seen him since?"

"No."

"Good, I'd kill him."

"So do you hate me now?" Mildred asked.

This was a shock to him. How could she figure if he were to hate anybody, it would be her?

"No, I don't."

"Are you angry with me?"

"I'm not angry."

"You're not happy about this, I know that," she said.

"I'm not happy you were raped and abandoned and left to go through this alone," he said, "But I'm not upset at you for it."

"What if I said that I'm keeping the baby?" she asked.

"Then I'd say you're smarter than most," he replied, "When's the birth supposed to be?"

"At the end of the month."

"Fine," Kronos took the suitcase he'd brought with him and started unpacking.

"What're you doing?" she asked.

"You don't think I'm going to let you go through the remainder of this alone, do you?" he asked. "This is your first birth, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Well I've been through a few of them myself, I know what to expect…you'll need somebody like that around here."

"I'd appreciate it, I wasn't able to find a midwife for this," Mildred explained, "To be honest, these last few months have scared the hell out of me."

"I'd imagine they would…but I'm here now, I'll help you."

"Thank you, Graham, you don't know how much that means to me," she said.

* * *

Two weeks passed by very tensely, every day Kronos expected Mildred to go into labor, all the while wishing he could find the man who had raped her so he could kill him. With three years between them, they had a lot to catch up on, and with every passing day more was discussed of what the one had missed seeing with the other. 

One day had proved to be a rather dismal one, the whole day the sun never shone and dark clouds filled the entire sky, threatening to drop rain at a moment's notice. This was a day that Mildred stayed home from work, days when the weather was bad seemed to have a reflection on her, if the weather was lousy, she felt lousy as well. Kronos didn't think much of it because the weather tended to have that same effect on a lot of people he had known through the years.

By late afternoon, Mildred got up from bed and went to take a shower to freshen up a bit. She kept the bathroom door open so that the two of them could carry a conversation through it.

"So what're you going to do when you're done here?" she asked.

"I haven't decided yet, what about you?" Kronos asked, "How long do you intend to stay at this place?"

"Not much longer, I've been looking at some apartments a couple miles away from here, I've found a few that look good but I haven't decided yet myself."

"Well, there's time."

"Yeah, of course if I were smart, I'd look for some quaint little house out in the middle of the country instead of a 2 room apartment here in the city, but…"

Kronos nodded and waited for the next thing she wanted to discuss. Instead he heard her let out a scream louder than any he'd heard before, and he charged into the bathroom to find out what was the matter, though he could guess.

"What is it, what's happened?" he asked.

She pulled back the shower curtain and about fell out of the tub, "My water just broke!"

"Showtime," he replied.

He half pulled, half carried her into the bedroom and got her settled down on the bed with her screaming and worrying about if something was going to be the matter with the baby. Outside someone had heard Mildred scream and was knocking on the door, wondering if she was allright.

"Go away," Kronos said, "We're not decent now, we're having a baby…on the other hand, better send for the paramedics."

"Paramedics!" Mildred exclaimed, "Paramedics? You think something's wrong with my baby?"

"Not at all," Kronos replied, "But Mildred, we don't have anything sanitized here to cut the umbilical cord with, and while it was common practice for many years, I really don't know how orthodox they'd think we are if we did it with a paring knife." And truth be known, he wasn't sure he wanted to explain to Mildred his time-old, unorthodox methods for delivery births either.

For the next hour while they waited on the paramedics, Kronos endured Mildred's screaming and crying and hitting him all the while she became further and further dilated. There was no questioning it, this baby was coming early and coming fast, and for a while Kronos was starting to figure it would arrive before the paramedics did.

Finally news came that the paramedics had arrived, two men came in and they, along with several other spectators who had heard about the birth from their own rooms across the hall, came in and surrounded Mildred, who was in hysterics. Now she was pushing, the baby was coming closer and closer with every passing second to being born, and finally, when the last push was completed, and Mildred felt the baby pass through and out of her body, she let out one final, piercing scream and collapsed against the bed.

Several hours later, an exhausted Mildred awoke from her bed and slowly everything came back into perception. When she remembered she was now a mother, she shot up in bed and looked around, "My baby! My baby…"

"Is right here," Kronos answered from where he sat in a rocking chair with the newborn wrapped up in his arms.

"Is she…did she…"

Kronos laughed, "She's allright, just like her mother," he stood up and carried the baby over to the bed and laid her down in her mother's arms.

"Oh my God, she's so small."

"Yes, she came a bit early but she's all there, all 6 pounds and 2 ounces of her. Take a look at her, Mildred, she's the picture of health, not even jaundiced or anything."

"Oh my God," Mildred said, "She's beautiful, and you…you were here this whole time through it all, weren't you?"

"I said I would," he replied, "You held up pretty well yourself."

He watched as Mildred looked over her baby, making sure everything was allright with her. "So what're you going to name her?" he asked.

She laughed, "I don't know, I hadn't given it much thought, but…I think Mary."

"Mary?"

"After my mother."

Kronos looked at the baby, and he saw a different Mary, one from his life several thousand years back, and it seemed to fit. "Mary it is, then."


	23. Chapter 23

Author's Note: Well here we finally are at the mark everybody's waited a year and a half for, the conclusion to Dearest Brother. I hope all the readers have enjoyed reading it as much if not more than I have in writing it. Furthermore I'd like to thank all those who took an interest in it, because of all of your interest and feedback, this story was finally able to be completed. I'd also like to note that while this is the end of the story, it is not the end of the story's universe. I plan to return soon with another story to follow up this one, whether or not the readers here decide to check it out is up to them but I'd like to say thank you all the same simply for being interested in it up to this point. I'd especially like to thank Shadow3418 of whom was most persistent in expressing her opinions on this story most frequently. That, I'd like to comment, is what keeps us writers going, knowing what our readers think. Now, onto the conclusion.

"What happened?" Methos asked, "What was it, that made you turn back to what you were?"

"Through the years I'd lived through a good number of experiences, some good, some horrible, most of the people I knew were the absolute rubbish of the universe, they treated everyone around them like you or I wouldn't treat a sick dog. Through it all, a few good people remained, most of them however died out. Jezebel I thought had died, Richie I thought had died, you I long ago thought had died along with Silas and Caspian, the last pure thing I had in my life was Mildred. And then one day, it seemed fate took her away from me as well, I went to visit her once and found out that the building where she and her daughter lived, had been bombed."

"No!"

"Yes, I searched among the ashes and the remains for days trying to find something, anything of them, but I found nothing… I was convinced that they were dead, and that already had me feeling like hell, but to make that day worse, I was challenged by another Immortal…not as old as us but still with a couple thousand years to him. I won and the Quickening that went through me, mixed with everything else that was going through my head at the time, it just set me off. I decided that there wasn't any point in _not_ returning to the old ways…and shortly after that, it was when I started hearing rumors that you were still alive. From there, you know the rest of it."

"Most of it," Methos said, "Enough."

"Of course, once again, it wasn't until I died that I found out I was wrong again. Mildred and her daughter had just moved out of the building three days before it was bombed."

"Are they still alive?"

"Yes."

There was a moment of silence between them before Kronos added, "I know I never acted much like it in life, but I'm glad you proved smarter than I thought."

"At least one of us is," Methos said.

Kronos laughed and pulled Methos to him and kissed him on the forehead, "You've got to stop that, Methos. You've already made yourself sick over what happened."

"I know."

"You have to realize Methos, that's the point. We're dead, you are still alive, you aren't one of us anymore, you wanted your own life and now you have it, now after two thousand years you finally have it, it's time you did something with it now that you don't have to worry about one of us finding you again."

"I know, I still wish things could have been different between us though," Methos replied.

"I know, but I want you to remember something, Brother, I've always loved you, and I always will."

"Always? How about all the times you wanted to kill me?" Methos asked curiously.

"I would imagine in 5000 years you'd become familiar with the concept of a love/hate relationship. Very common, more common for older people…so many things and people in my life that I've faced that I've simultaneously loved to death, and wanted to see die. There were some days that all I could think of was how much more I'd prefer you with your head disconnected from your body."

"Charming."

"Despite it all, I never stopped loving you, Methos, you were always my Dearest Brother, the other half of myself."

"Thanks, Kronos, it's always nice to be wanted."

Kronos laughed and stroked Methos' head for a moment while he rested for a few minutes. For the first time in Methos' life in a good many centuries, he finally felt at peace. He felt loved again, he felt _alive_ again. Off somewhere, the sound of a bell chiming five times could be heard.

"But as you said, I suppose it could be worse, it could…" Methos turned to Kronos and saw that his brother looked upset, "Kronos, what is it?"

Kronos' eyes met his with an honesty that he had never before seen in his brother, as Kronos answered, "It's time for you to go, Methos."

"What?"

"The night's almost over and the night is for how long I brought you here," Kronos explained, "It's time for you to go back."

Methos couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Kronos…"

"Now don't get upset, you knew this time was coming," Kronos told him.

"I know, but…"

"Relax, Methos, this isn't the end of anything," Kronos told him, "You know you belong back there with the others, instead of here with us."

Methos couldn't answer him, and he also couldn't stop crying it seemed. Kronos pulled him close to him and kissed him again. "What's the matter, Methos?"

"I can't help it, I just feel guilty for leaving you."

"Methos, you know it was inevitable."

"I know…and now, I know I should be enjoying these last few minutes with you but I'm so tired, all I want to do is sleep."

"My fault for keeping you up all night, well," Kronos pulled Methos to lay against his chest, "Go to sleep then, and when you wake back up, you'll be back where you belong."

"But Kronos…"

"Shhh, Methos, calm down, we both knew this was coming, and this is what you've waited 2,000 years for, you finally have your life back."

"But Kronos, I miss you."

"I miss you too, Methos, but it's not your time yet. You've got to go back now, a lot of people are depending you back there. Now go onto sleep, and when you wake up, you'll be back where you belong."

"Kronos," Methos wanted to know, "After this, when I go back, will I remember being here with you?"

"Vaguely."

Knowing this seemed to hurt Methos more, that he wouldn't be able to recall these last few hours with his brother.

"Don't look so upset, you'll never fully forget, but given all the details of what's gone on tonight, in remembrance it'll come off as little more than a dream," Kronos explained.

"I hate leaving you, Kronos."

"I know, Methos, but it's nothing you can help, it's your destiny."

"I know."

"Now come here and give me a kiss."

Tearfully, Methos kissed Kronos for what he knew to be the very last time, after which he lay his head against Kronos' chest and cried as he tried to calm down.

"What about Caspian and Silas?" Methos asked.

"Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on them, as I probably should've done a better job of two thousand years ago," Kronos said.

"I love you, Kronos," Methos said.

"I know, I love you too."

"I don't want to leave," Methos said one last time.

"Shhhhhh, quiet," Kronos told him as he held his dearest brother in his arms, "Just lay down and relax, everything will be allright. I swear to you."

Kronos wrapped one arm around Methos and stroked his head like a tired child with the other, after a while Methos seemed to stop crying and drift off to sleep.

The last thing Methos heard before he fell into a complete sleep was a whispered, "Goodbye, Brother, I'll miss you." The last thing he felt, though he couldn't be sure but he would almost swear, were two teardrops falling on the crown of his head.

* * *

Methos felt himself fall away, fall away from where or from who he didn't know but he felt he was falling down an endless pit, falling back in time, with every foot he dropped he remembered another bloody moment from his life as Death. All the damage done, all the people killed, he saw them and remembered, remembered what he was, what they all were, and suddenly he didn't feel any better a man now than what he was then. 

He was vaguely aware he was screaming, could very vaguely even hear it though it seemed to be a noise that surrounded him to no end. With every passing second he expected to hit the ground and to be killed from the impact of the hit as a result from the fall. Every single second he waited for the moment that his body hit hard ground and the bones broke and his spine snapped and his neck was jerked into a position unbelievable.

Was this to be the end of him? 5000 years he'd fought to keep his head, now he wasn't sure that he'd mind losing it. If it was to die, he might as well get it over with he decided, so he wished he'd meet the bottom of this downward spiral soon.

He never felt himself land in the fall, he never felt any impact upon his body, but suddenly he felt himself lying on the ground and he felt something shaking him. He screamed and screamed but the shaking continued, worsened even, and after a while he became aware of somebody calling to him.

"Methos! Methos wake up!"

He recognized that voice, it was MacLeod! What was going on? Where was he? He opened his eyes and found himself back on the bathroom floor in MacLeod's loft, with MacLeod hovering over him, shaking him like a broken doll, at least he felt like one.

He let out an animalistic scream and threw his arms around MacLeod's neck, as if he were afraid if he let go, he'd fall away.

"MacLeod!" he cried, "I am _not_ Death on a horse, I am not…I am not," he sobbed.

He felt MacLeod's arms go underneath him, picking him up from the floor. "Shhh, I know, Methos, I know, come on, let's get you out of here."

He picked Methos up and carried him out of the bathroom and took the older Immortal, gasping and bawling, over to the bed and laid him out and covered him up.

"Methos, calm down, it's okay."

After a few minutes, Methos was able to calm himself down and he wanted to explain to MacLeod what had happened, but he wasn't too sure himself. It didn't seem to matter, MacLeod had some explaining of his own to do.

"Methos, I'm sorry for everything I put you through, I didn't realize at the time how much I hurt you. I was angry, and you hurt me by lying to me."

"Not as much as you hurt me when you said we were through," Methos replied, his eyes closed and his head throbbing on one side.

"I know…I don't think I ever _meant_ to hurt you like I did, but it seems to be something I do very well, I'm getting a lot of experience in hurting the people I care about."

"It's allright, MacLeod," Methos tiredly replied, "I'm used to it after 5000 years."

"No it isn't..." he responded, "After you left, I tried to think, I tried to understand…"

"But you couldn't."

"No…I couldn't…and it was then that I realized Joe was right, it was different times, different rules…try as I might I couldn't understand it because I wasn't there."

"And if you were, you can believe you would not have survived sticking to your warrior's honor," Methos said, "I liked to think I've changed enough from then to now that I wouldn't have to be having this discussion."

"…After you left, I…I started seeing things, things from Kronos' Quickening that…"

"Made you sick."

"I didn't know what to think, Methos, and I still don't…you…why do you even stay around me after everything that's happened?"

"I wonder the same thing myself sometimes," Methos replied.

"You've risked your own life to save mine several times, and I never thanked you for it."

"I'm used to _that_ too."

Methos was tired and he didn't open his eyes, but it sounded like MacLeod was crying. "Why did you even come back?"

"I wasn't planning to," he explained, "I don't know why I did…Joe told you I was here, didn't he?"

"Yes he did, he called me last night after you left the bar…I was going out to look for you."

"And you found me."

"I'm glad you came back, Methos, we were worried about you."

"Why? Why did you want me to live? Why didn't you let Cassandra kill me?" Methos asked. "It's what she wanted for 3,000 years, it's what you agreed to help her with…so why did you make her spare my life?"

"Because I wanted you to live."

"Why?" Bitter as acid he asked, that was the question that had haunted Methos for three months.

"…Because I realized I was being a stubborn fool."

"You were an ass," Methos responded.

"I know."

Methos' eyes were wide open, couldn't the Scot tell when he was being sarcastic anymore? Then he remembered, he never could.

"I'm sorry, Methos," Duncan said, "I know you didn't deserve what I put you through."

Methos closed his eyes again and hit his head against the pillow. God, he moaned, he _was_ crying, the bloody Scot, the self righteous bastard, was crying, what the hell was going on here?

"Methos."

"What?"

"When I said that I saw things from Kronos' Quickening…"

_Here we go,_ Methos groaned.

"I…I saw him take Cassandra, I felt what he was thinking when he did it…and I…I saw what he did to you after she escaped…I couldn't understand what was happening, until you explained last night, about the price you paid to guarantee she got away."

Methos was afraid of that, but then his heart went to his throat as he thought of what else MacLeod might have seen. "What else?" he asked.

"I don't know…not much else except from closer to the end…I…I just feel terrible for what I put you through," he said.

"Oh well, that's life," Methos said.

"Methos please, no jokes," Duncan said.

Methos sighed as he turned over to face MacLeod, "What do you want from me, MacLeod? What do you want me to say?"

"Methos, I know I've hurt you without reason, and I'm sorry, more than I can probably explain. I know I've no right to ask you but I am, can you possibly forgive me?"

Methos looked at MacLeod and sank back onto the pillows. God, did MacLeod know? Had he been able to access those memories of Kronos all those thousands of years ago? He decided it didn't matter much, what was done was done, and there wasn't anything that could be done about it now. He looked at MacLeod and he would've laughed if the sight before him wasn't a sobering one. The painful look in MacLeod's eyes as he anxiously awaited Methos' answer, Methos tiredly smiled and took MacLeod's hand in his and said, "Of course, you have it, MacLeod, you've always had that."

A look of relief formed on the Scot's face, "Thank you, Methos, I don't know why you put up with me, I don't know why you ever come back to me."

Methos knew why, but he didn't dare answer, instead he said, "It's a curse."

"Methos, I am glad to have you as a friend, and I hope we still can be."

"That depends," Methos said, "Are you always going to be the self righteous bastard you are anytime something about my past comes up that you don't agree with?"

Those words hurt MacLeod, and part of Methos wanted them to do just that, but despite it, MacLeod smiled and said, "I'll try to be better, Methos, I am sorry I hurt you."

"Apology accepted," Methos replied.

"I'm just glad you're back and that you're allright…you _are_ allright aren't you?"

Was he? Was he? He thought about it, yes he was. This was the first time in the longest time he could remember feeling completely allright. He nodded tiredly, "Yes, MacLeod, I'm allright…but very tired, I feel like I didn't sleep at all last night. I'd like to sleep."

"You can sleep, you can stay here and rest."

"Thank you, MacLeod, it's nice to be wanted," Methos said.

Methos lifted his head and looked at the clock on the bedside table.

"What is it?" Duncan asked.

Methos laid his head back against the pillow and asked, "Isn't this the hour in which Duncan MacLeod goes on his morning run?"

"Yeah, but…"

Methos looked at him through one open eye, "Oh come on, MacLeod, don't you think after 5,000 years I've managed to take care of myself alone?"

"I'm just not sure about leaving you alone when you're this tired," Duncan answered.

"MacLeod, you're turning into a mother hen on me," Methos said, and he started pushing MacLeod away, "Go on, don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

"Allright, I'll be back soon."

"Take your time, I could use the peace and quiet," Methos told him, "And I suspect you could use a break from me as well."

* * *

Methos laid back but watched through one open eye as MacLeod got dressed and got ready to leave. Once he was at the door, Methos closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep. The door closed, the sound of footsteps going down the stairs eventually died down, as did the buzz. With MacLeod gone and the loft quiet, Methos was finally able to think, he hadn't really thought about it, but he did, for the first time in a long time, he really felt alive. He felt able to breathe again, he felt at peace, he felt as the cliché went, one with the world. And where did this come from all of a sudden? He tried to think, he knew he had been depressed before when he returned to town, having buried his brothers and all, and he had been depressed last night too. What happened? 

He tried to think, he had a vague feeling about something. Something he should've remembered better than he did. What was it? A dream? What had he been dreaming about before MacLeod woke him up? Before that sensation that he was falling? He tried to think…and finally, he remembered, Kronos. It was odd, it was almost as if he could feel Kronos in the room with him. It seemed almost as if Kronos were right beside him. He sighed, how he missed his brother, despite what he had become, they were still brothers, and Methos had vowed never to leave him in the first place. Maybe that had been his error, but it didn't matter now. It was funny, but thinking about Kronos and the others didn't seem to hurt him anymore. For the first time in a long time he felt, happy, truly happy. Looking back he wasn't sure if he'd even been this happy with Alexa and she was the love of his life. But he knew that within time she would join the many others he had loved and lost.

Some days he didn't know he agreed with Alfred Lord Tennyson but if he had it to do all over again, he would still take those that had died on him rather than be alone. But this, being here now, he felt alive, he felt relaxed, he felt at peace, he felt…happy, happy and relieved and alive, oh how he felt alive. Alive and, tired, Lord how tired he was. For sleeping all the night he felt that he'd never closed his eyes. With the loft empty and quiet and the night over and Methos to himself, he spread out in the left side of the bed and fell asleep, feeling for the first time in a long time that things were finally going to be allright.

A while later, Methos, while completely asleep, was uncomfortable in laying flat on his back so rolled over, in so he swung his arm over to the right side of the bed and knocked something off the pillow on the right side. Fallen to the floor and under the bed was a white envelope, no address, no return, the seal was perfectly in place and shut tight, only two words were written on the whole envelope and they rested dead set in the middle:

Dearest Brother


End file.
